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She aint a virgin. Why wait till marriage?

Posted by James, 09 Jan

I am that shallow. I wouldn’t wait for a non-virgin… Hell I wouldn’t do it for a virgin either. Nick Cannon is one strong brother. He waited until he married Mariah Carey to get down like that. He was strong for the rest of us men. How was he able to do it?

"It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad blowjob, I didn’t care. In my mind, I’m with it. Either way its one of the most beautiful women that ever walked the planet," Nick said during an interview with Howard Stern. Lucky for him, their dating period only lasted 2 months.

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For me, beauty would make it even harder! And to think she isn’t a virgin? Impossible! And I hope I never find myself in such circumstances. I mean, you have been with other men before me. So why does this celibacy till marriage have to start with me? I am trying to picture myself all touchy with you then, NO! Second try NO! Honestly, I think I'd bail out because I'll start thinking that maybe I have a problem. Maybe I am just not turning your lights on right.

Ladies please make me understand what would suddenly make you close that special door for a man whom you clearly know is ‘the one’. I admire men who choose to wait for their virgin girlfriends. But waiting for a non-virgin? As much as I like to think of myself as an open-minded kinda guy, when I read about the Nick Cannon – Mariah story, I was ok with people thinking I am shallow. Even if he only had to wait 2 months, I wont wait. There just has to be a test run; that's just me and am sure many of my brothers here are sailing in the 'shallow' boat with me.

Would you wait knowing she has been around? How special should this woman be to warrant the wait?

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7 responses to "She aint a virgin. Why wait till marriage?"

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  1.   prettygirl46 says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 13

    Ever since I was a young girl with my religion we were always told that sex before marriage was wrong. I saw girls having boyfriends at a young age and I was still playing with dolls. I really had no guidance after my mom died and my dad did the best he could to guide me, not knowing that I was turning into a young lady. I tried to concentrate on staying in school and not think about boys. I went to college and had a hard time because I wanted to have a boyfriend instead of concentrating on my studies. My home life was crazy when my dad remarried I didn't like my stepmother, so when I became an adult at 23 I lost my virginity to a guy I fell in love with. I knew in the back of my mind that my mom would have been disappointed but I was embarrassed to ask my sisters and even my aunts who were also religious. I think waiting is a good sometimes especially if you are religious. I eventually told my father about this man and he wasn't surprised. My relationship with my dad was important to me and so was his approval because really when you can open up and talk about it, which I hardly ever did and he would yell at me just for talking to any guy in the neighborhood. I rebelled a lot as a young girl. Sometimes then I started to think I couldn't find a man who would want me. At my age now I am facing the same situation of having to make a decision to wait or give in and I've already been married and I'm divorced.

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  2.   CinthiaBR says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 13

    What is the problem between virgin or non virgin?! Wait or not wait?! She make a decision and if the man really want to build a strong relationship. it doesn't matter!! Well, but ONLY if the man wish a relationship...

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  3.   terry5159 says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 13

    its a personal decision.but personally waitng is important.

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  4.   Moxie981 says:
    Posted: 13 Jan 13

    Marriage is not the only place for sex, it is only lifted up as an ideal situation. We live in the real world, so I have no issues with Single people having sex, after they have taken the time to form caring, solid relationships with each other. I think the issue is how long it takes to get to a good place, three dates, one month, whatever, it's a personal choice.

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  5.   QueenieSD says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 13

    There are no accidents. Just tonight, I was thinking about the balance between wanting a healthy, passionate sexual relationship with someone I not only love but want to co-create a life with.....and the need for self-protection from men who are only too willing to take the sex and leave so many other needs unmet. It is biological fact that women are wired differently than men physically and sexually. When we are deeply loved and respected and profoundly safe, it is irrelevant whether or not we are "virtuous." Still, we are far more vulnerable to the effects of oxytocin, and for a much longer time after we get a hit of it, than men are. Because of the way religion teaches women to be about sex - the ever-virtuous keepers of the gate - and the way men have been socialized to believe they have free license to express that aspect of themselves fully and without constraint....well, it's just a set-up to fail. It appears my fellow commenters have made their peace with erring on the side of caution, choosing to preserve their societally-defined "virtue" at the expense of possibly wonderful men who would love them well, but whose beliefs don't include suppressing their sexuality - or ours. Not every man who insists that sex be a part of a committed relationship before marriage is a predator or player. I propose that women begin to trust ourselves and our intuition enough to discard the need to "protect" ourselves and embrace the fact that we are infinitely more sexual than men....and most men would love nothing more than to join us on our journey of leaning into our sexuality, discovering ourselves together. It takes courage to open my heart, mind, body and soul .... but a man who is aware and mature knows that, and respects us all the more for it . Call me a "sinner" if it floats your boat, but I'll take my heaven on earth. without holding a man I care about hostage to some construct I had nothing to do with creating.

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  6.   Moxie981 says:
    Posted: 09 Jan 13

    I feel that if my man agrees to wait until marriage to have sex his attitude tells me a few things: one he thinks the relationship is of high value and two he shows me how much he can be trusted to do the hard stuff now for the pleasure later and most importantly I feel more relaxed and safe with him. I feel less pressure and free to be sensual dancing, talking and sharing my desires with this man. I understand James' need to Know if the woman will be good, but I do not agree that having sex right away is the only way to really get the answer he needs. No woman wants to be equated with a car. We don't need to be test driven and left on the lot.

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  7.   blueberry6 says:
    Posted: 09 Jan 13

    This is my personal response and I am not talking for any other woman. If I met a man right now whom I was sure was the one, I would have to make him wait until after we are married. My biggest reason would of course be my faith values, I have reconnected with God over the past four years and I wouldn't want to mess that up. Secondly, I know that most people in this generation are used to instant gratifications; there is instant everything, from coffee to sex and the one word that got lost somewhere in there is self control. Well, if someone can hold on for me, however long it takes, whether I am a virgin or a non virgin, I would respect them more because I would know that they have that exceptional value that is of strong character. This is one of the most admirable characteristic in any human being, whether male or female.

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