Are people generally open to interracial marriage?

Posted by James, 09 Sep

We have read about the surveys on attitudes of people towards interracial dating. We have gathered opinions and people’s experiences with interracial dating to back our surveys.

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We have the positive side of the story. However, some parents would tolerate their children having friends of other races so long as it’s nothing romantic. Other people would have sexual relations or even serious relationship with someone from a different race but when it comes to settling down, they can’t. They go back to their ‘own’. I am thinking, these are the same people who when asked if they are open to interracial dating, they would say yes. But the bit that we probably never get to here is how far this ‘openness’ goes.

Sometimes our families’ true colors aren’t revealed till we bring someone who looks nothing like they expected. Its shocking when you find parents who spoke of love and the way everyone is the same under the skin, are in fact selectively racist. Surprisingly many people are undoubtedly open to interracial dating, but still draw the line when it came to marriage and their children for whatever reason.

You have read about survey results. But coupled with the discussions you may have heard from people on this subject, would you say people are generally open to interracial marriage? What makes other people draw that line?

38 responses to "Are people generally open to interracial marriage?"

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  1.   widow66 says:
    Posted: 22 Oct 10

    i am here to say that mixed marriges do work i was married to a wonderful white man from july 1986 untiloct 2004 he passed away from lung cancer i lost my best friend .my husband my lover my everything god gave us 18 years to be together and if i could find another one like him at 51 years of age i would do it all over again .if you marry and is fathful to one another in the lord and his church it will last i had people telling me not to marry him to i followed my heart through alot of prayers and i would have died for him if god would have let me interacal marriages dose work in spite of what some people say we are all human come from one man one woman.i use to hold my head high right after my husband and i got married when people would stare at us are say are you all together in the check out linesbecause i knew the same boat they steped of my ancestors did to noahs ark

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  2.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 May 10

    HOPE YOU ARE LISTENING... SMILES :)

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 May 10

    LOVE AND OPEN MINDNESS WILL CURE ALL. "WE ARE THE CHANGE WE ARE ALL LOOKING FOR."

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  4.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 May 10

    DRAWING ON PAST EXPERIENCES, MY DEALINGS WITH WOMEN OF MY OWN RACE (WHITE WOMEN)HAVE ALL BEEN LESS THAN POSITIVE. I AM A BLUE COLLAR GUY. WHEN I DEAL WITH WHITE WOMEN WHO ARE DEGREED THAY LOOK DOWN ON ME LIKE IM AN INSECT,NOT OF THEIR SOCIAL STATUS OR SKILLS. SOCIAL STATUS MAYBE SO, BUT I EARN TWICE THEIR SALARY. I GUESS MY JOB HAS NO BRAGGING RIGHTS OTHER THAN THE MONEY BUT IT PUTS FOOD ON THE TABLE AND KEEPS A ROOF OVER MY HEAD. IN THESE DAYS OF FINANCIAL UNCERTAINTY MANY PROFESSIONALS FIND THEMSELVES OUT OF A JOB OR LOOKING FOR ONE. THE PLACE I WORK THE MAJORITY OF THE WORK FORCE IS AFRO-AMERICAN AND AT TIMES I DO FEEL ETHNICALLY DISPLACED. WHEN MEASURED AGAINST THE ALTURNATIVE OF BEING OUT OF WORK OR DIVORCED THE CHOICES IVE MADE IN LIFE BECOMES CLEAR. IM A BLESSED MAN EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES IT SEEMS DIFFERENT.PEOPLE OF NON INTERACIAL COMMITMENT TEND TO GRAVITATE TO THEIR OWN KIND, WHAT OTHER CHOICES ARE LEFT CORRECT? I MYSELF REFUSE TO GO THROUGH LIFE BEING A COLOR.

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  5.   jared8 says:
    Posted: 03 May 10

    To get to the core of not liking something that can be beautiful and felt can leave us all dismayed. The pressure that can be applied to both interacial couples. To make your own choices and be left alone. To share the passion that two individuals can share and give to each other can't be outdone if its mutually felt. The surroundings of not excepting sometimes outweights the reason for not finding common ground and felt with intense pressure and is lost. Arguments can be ugly and accomplishes nothing and who is actually right?Infact, it separates from growing of minds to understanding and to except with reasoning. Many reasons, many explanations, but to move on in life there has to be harmony or we always will be stuck. To see a smile, to get along, to see love and passion between a man and woman has no color and is blind. To feel it is an indescribable feeling we all want more of, like a fire burning hot wanting more. We can find it and share it behind closed doors even then its very real and will be found if we want. Human beings of higher intelligence sometimes miss many points of whats important. Passion flows and won't ever be stopped, thats nice to know. For whatever its worth its just a thought written with words. :-)

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  6.   ama says:
    Posted: 12 Apr 10

    I totally agree and wish more people had it your way and had the same outlook as my parents. Like you say, in some cultures, people are much less obsessed with race than in the US, while in others, they are much more so and believe that love can have a color. Personally, I've been all over the world and throughout the US and have been attracted to people of all different kinds of back grounds. What I find alluring is not just one type of physical profile but how genuinely and positively someone presents themselves, if they have a sense of humor, how wise and enthusiastically they learn and work, and how they appreciate and care about others. I honestly think that a charming, sensitive and bubbly personality should transcend all barriers. When I came to settle in the US after my parents retired from the foreign service during my last years of high school, I was surprised and disappointed that race was still such a big deal. I tried to live by what I had learned in my travels and through my teachings by my cosmopolitan and progressive parents: find the commonalities we share with our fellow humans while learning about, celebrating, and embracing every one's individual uniqueness. Since this is not the practice here, I realized that if one is going to involve themselves in less conventional relationships than what their surrounding culture openly encourages, then they best be wary of and equipped for most of the possible obstacles. I've had to learn this the hard way and, to this day, am still navigating the minefields of prejudice, discrimination, race, culture, gender, power, fear, and identity. The success or failure depends largely on the quality of our support network or lack there of, the issues and strengths that each of us bring to our relationship, the willingness and openness to understand one another and meet each other's needs, and the challenges that we are made to face.

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  7.   SoulEnzyme says:
    Posted: 04 Mar 10

    Wow, it's interesting to read what people have to say about interracial relationships. My wife is Swedish and we have been married for 12 years and have 3 beautiful kids together. Before i met her i had no particular preference Black, White, Asian etc was OK for me as long as i felt something for the woman. When i told my mum about her when we first started dating she was a bit resentful, but things has changed now, both my mum and my wife are close. It is amazing that in this day and age mixed relationship is still an issue.

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  8.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 25 Oct 09

    Wow IBEX! All I can say is, that was eye opening. How do you feel now...outside of the material things, like as in if you didn't have the material stuff but had the same marriage? Did you perceive that your wife and you could work together to achieve what the BOTH of you wanted and with a woman of your own culture you were going to be made to work for HER to get what SHE wanted? Is that what you mean by feeling 'inferior'?

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  9.   IBEX says:
    Posted: 24 Oct 09

    I GUESS IM AN IDEALIST. I WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT WE HAVE MADE SOME PROGRESS IN THAT TOPIC BUT IT ALL DEPENDS I GUESS ON WHERE YOU LIVE. I LIVE IN MARYLAND AND THERE ARE ALOT OF MIXED COUPLES IN THE GENERAL AREA. MY WIFE AND I HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 21 YEARS AND PEOPLE HAVE SHUNNED US RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING. I THINK IT HAS TO DO WITH ECONOMICS. MY WIFE AND I DO ALL RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO AQUIRRING THE THINGS IN LIFE WE DESIRE. UNLIKE ALOT OF OTHER FOLKS AROUND HERE WE DO NOT HAVE TO DOUBLE AND TRIPPLE UP TO MAKE ENDS MEET. WE MAKE COMFOTABLE SALERIES AND I THINK THAT IS WHAT DRAWS THE FIRE. WHITE PEOPLE IN GENERAL FEEL THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ON THE BASES OF THEIR COLOR. AS LONG AS THEY ARE ON TOP ECONOMICALLY AND YOU ARE BELOW THEM IN STATUS THE WORLD IS AS IT SHOULD BE. HOWEVER WHEN YOU RISE TO THEIR LEVEL OF PROSPERITY AND INCOME THEY BECOME CONCERNED AND UPSET. THEY WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO TRY AND REMOVE YOUR ABILITY TO EARN AND PROSPER SO THEY CAN SAY "SEE I TOLD YOU MIXED MARRIAGES DONT WORK". I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ATRACTED TO BLACK WOMEN,AND ALWAYS WILL. EVEN BEFORE I WAS EXPOSED TO THE WHOLE ETHNIC THING. BEING AROUND BLACK WOMEN MADE ME FEEL COMFORTABLE WHILE BEING AROUND WHITE WOMEN I FELT SOMETHING TOTALY DIFFERENT, MABY EVEN INFERIOR.

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  10.   Member says:
    Posted: 24 Apr 09

    Jesus said when he prayed to the Father, " Father I pray they may be one as you and I are one" "No greater love than the one who is willing to lay his life down for his neighbor" I find nothing wrong with interacial marriage. I have a friend who was a biker and hard drinker. He got sober and met a black woman and married her and she took him to his church and that man found Jesus in a profound way. He studied the bible well as he went to bible studies with her. They have a strong christain marriage. In my church there is a interacial couple, The husband is white and the wife is black. They have 2 beatifull daughters and are in church every single sunday and raise their daughters christain. I read an interveiw with a interacial couple married 40 plus years and you know what? They made it and are still in love and raised children and have grandchildren. Well you tell me.

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  11.   ivangrad says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 09

    I grew up in european household, and if your first generation american usually you follow the parents ways that they brought from whatever country they came from. I was married, my exwife was from the same background as my parents, infact from the same church. Ive always been around other types of cultures since i started high school and was attracted to blk women, but do to ethic background surpressed. Today im with a women that appreciates me and what i do, and yes she happens to be black. People we have to go with the gut and put the thoughts of what others think behind us, that will never change.

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  12. Posted: 19 Feb 09

    I don't have a problem with interracial marriage; to each his own. But I do have a problem with the fact that when whites produce offspring with non-whites, the dominant characteristics of the offspring are NEVER white. Forget about the offspring resembling anyone on the white side. On top of that, the offspring will always identify himself/herself with the non-white element. There are countless examples and we can start with President Obama. So my problem is not with the marriage, but with the fact that I feel my people are being exterminated by interracial breeding, abortions and low birth rates. Eric

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  13.   joshua804 says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 09

    I have noticed how things have changed over the years. As the years have passed, I see people come more open to the idea of a interracial relationship. It has been with the women that I have met and also the parents of them that I have met as well.

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  14.   MochaCocoa says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 09

    Out of my teens I've always dated men not thinking of their ethnicity. I look for good people with kind hearts in my life, regardless of the color of their skin. My exes have spanned the globe and I'm lucky in the aspect that it's helped me to grow into a woman that respects people. Sure, you get the looks but at the end of the day you have someone who hopefully loves and respects you the way you love and respect them. I totally agree it takes a strong person to be in interracial relationships, but a good relationship is worth it.

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  15. Posted: 20 Dec 08

    Hi, My opinion on interracial dating is it's a beautiful thing. I have been dating my girlfriend(who is white) for over a year now and to be honest, I've never been more happier with someone. Yes, we get looks from people when we are out from both black and white people, but we don't care. The most important thing is our happiness. Why should we let the world judge on who we love??

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  16.   newlife51 says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 08

    The thing that always strkes me here is that there is a conceptio n that we are of different races .The last time I checked there was only one race and many nationalities.I find that if two people enjoy each other it is great and that what needs yto be the maine focus is their belief system .Do they share the same faith? Do they share the same interest? Do they have the same outlook on love,family fun, and worship.This is what we are taught through out the scriptures to marry of like faith.I didn't read that it was the color of ones skin that caused the issues it was the paganism and God faith at war with each other that caused the problems.I find that I can relate to the black americans much more than most of white america I have never been one with an easy life and I have admired the strength of the Black culture and have only gotten good from my associations with them. I do pray to meet and to marry one day the man of my deams..

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  17. Posted: 04 Nov 08

    qman205 - as tatted2death pointed out; some woman don't introduce men they are casually dating to their children. When my boys were younger they did not meet the men I dated, until after I felt comfortable the guy wasn't a psycho, and that takes time. Women like this who have primary responsibility of minor children should be commended, not criticized.

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  18.   sexcii_dee says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 08

    there's absolutely nothing wrong wtih interracial marriage. you cant really blame a person for a certain color he's interested in you know. I been interested in light colored men all my life and right now i have a hispanic fiance and yea i'll admit that people look at us weird when we're walking together on the street or when we're kissing in a restaurant but we dont care because we love each other we dont care about anybody elses opinion.

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  19.   Carlton says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 08

    Its really funny that only the people of color are the ones replying to these such things.

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  20.   qman205 says:
    Posted: 28 Sep 08

    The input on this topic is very interesting, open and genuine. An interracial relationship must involve two people that are strong parties that are comfortable with themselves. The theme here is evolving into "love is blind". I totally agree. I have a strong relationship with a white woman and the funny thing is that when she talks, if I would close my eyes....... she sounds like a black woman. Not the voice but the words she uses. I have grown in our relationship because of her. Sure, we get the looks and jeers from some. But the way I see it is they have the problem not us. Bottom line, we all have likes and interests. Be the person you are. Don't allow others to cause you to miss the person God has for you. On these singles/dating sites profiles often indicate the search for that person. What if......

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  21.   sweet1976 says:
    Posted: 27 Sep 08

    I wanted to chime in to agree with a poster who mentioned that there is a lot of hypocrisy about interracial dating. I have had friends (white, latin and black) who have treated me like I am stupid because I like white men. There is a level of incredulousness about it or they have even said to my face that the interest must be purely sexual or that the guy must be using me. Recently one of these friends tried to fix me up with a black man. It didn't work out, but in the process I met another friend of hers who I thought might be a better match. Because he was white she stonewalled me and refused to help me contact him. I was appalled, not just because he had expressed an interest to other friends and it was clear that it was mutual, but also because she often dates black men but has said that she would never marry one. I really thought that her openmindedness was genuine, but I guess it does not extend as far as accepting a black woman being with a white man.

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  22.   serenity798 says:
    Posted: 25 Sep 08

    Since High School. I've always dated within my race but something changed. As I've gotten older, my interests continue to grow. I grew up in a upper middle class family only 3 black on the street. Neighbors were great the entire neighborhood was great. I'm used to being around all types of people. White men are beautiful to me. My last boyfried was white. This was new to me and I did receive some crazy looks when we were in public but I was happy. Some of my family members asked me what was wrong with me and to be honest there wasn't. Some people are afraid to accept who they are and what others will say. Those Quiet ones that think of hurtful harmful things are out there but can't lvie in fear. I believe I have a interracial marriage.

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  23.   aprlshwrs says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 08

    I guess I've been blessed within my own life. I have always been attracted to white men and I always will. I can remember when I was in high school and my cousin had children with a white woman. My aunt couldn't stand that woman until they had children. Now, they get along wonderfully. I also recall dating a white guy in high school and my mom being really upset that he was white. Even now, she isn't too keen on it but she accepts it. I work with youth and they don't seem to have a hang up with this at all. I also work with all white youth...hmmm. They also don't have a hang up with gay people either. I think things will change as the youth of today grow older because they are more open-minded. Also, this article seems to make a distinction between interracial dating and interracial marriage. I have to admit that I want an interracial marriage...dating is fun but I'm ready to settle down.

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  24.   aprlshwrs says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 08

    I guess I've been blessed within my own life. I have always been attracted to white men and I always will. I can remember when I was in high school and my cousin had children with a white woman. My aunt couldn't stand that woman until they had children. Now, they get along wonderfully. I also recall dating a white guy in high school and my mom being really upset that he was white. Even now, she isn't too keen on it but she accepts it. I work with youth and they don't seem to have a hang up with this at all. I also work with all white youth...hmmm. They also don't have a hang up with gay people either. I think things will change as the youth of today grow older because they are more open-minded.

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  25.   Amun13 says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 08

    I agree with the sentiment that love is colorblind. I don't believe a person's race short be a factor in wether or not I choose to date them or marry them. It should be about love, not "How are my friends going to feel?" or " Are my parents going to be ok with this?" when it really comes down to it you are the one in the relationship with this person, not your family not your friends ( at least I hope not). You have to be satisfied with your chaice later on. not the people around you. Just ask yourself who would you rather go home to at the end of the day, The person you love, or the person they chose?

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  26. Posted: 21 Sep 08

    qman..... I totally respect what you have to say and it makes sense in alot of ways....but have you ever considered this:....if that woman's children were young (even younger than 18...they are still her sole responsiblity at that point), maybe she didn't bring you around them because she is JUST protective over them (and in today's world, rightfully so)...JUST A POINT TO PONDER. It amazes me how some people are so quick to point to racism being the problem when there JUST might be another explanation (not saying that is absolutely the case with you QMAN). We can blame society all we want when it comes to these things, but guess who makes up society.....US. Why are we so ready to relinquish our power when it comes to that??? It makes no sense when you consider that alot of other places in this world people, in general, are deprived of the freedoms that we enjoy here in America. We DO have the power to make changes.....it's our heritage. Maybe it's just the idealist in me.....but "dreamers" have already made some pretty amazing things happen in this world...just think about it. I think it is best to inspire the hope (AND you can still be a "realist" while doing that...LOL) that things can and will continue to improve than dwell in the muck and mire of what hasn't happened YET. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  27.   qman205 says:
    Posted: 21 Sep 08

    We live in a color conscious society. Everyone has a color. They interesting part is how it continues to be this way. I grew up in the civil rights movement and have seen many things. The question to ask yourself (especially someone in my age group) is "Has your mate introduced you to their family?". Every woman I have dated outside my race has not introduced me to their kids. True colors showing perhaps? It is funny how much in love or really like you they say they are but when it comes to meeting the kids, no way. They say in due time which hasn't arrived yet. Although some things changes................others remain the same.

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  28.   metoo44 says:
    Posted: 20 Sep 08

    I belive love is love it has no color and as far a family well if they dont come around or understand thats thir choice if the bond between a man and woman is strong then nothing should come in between then and over the years staying together people well just say oh that coulpe be together four years dont really think they would see black or white its staying not running thats what make it harder for coulpes ..........

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  29.   equalop4u says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 08

    Unfortunately, this problem will not be solve in our lifetime. But we make strides everyday with every successful interraacial couple and children in the world. My biggest issue with all of this is that people do not respect my choicesor they expect me to justify for them. I had a conversation with a very attactive single black woman who despairs ever finding mr. right. I suggested that she spread her wings and date non-black man. She said that she would rather be alone than be with a white man. Go figure. I wish her luck and moved on.

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  30. Posted: 18 Sep 08

    Of course not! Racism is alive..very much alive here in America and other parts of the world too. I have a preference for white men - always have, always will and have had to deal with the "stares" especially living in the South. Sure we all want to say "love knows no color" - and it doesn't BUT that doesn't mean that many people are open to Interracial Marriage. Case in point - my best friend's mum told her that as much as she welcomes her white boyfriends at the end of the day - she wants some "brown grandbabies" and that's just the way it is. @69Venus - I agree with your comments on this topic - very well said.

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  31.   69Venus says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 08

    I agree and totally feel that love knows no color but unfortunately, not everybody in our society is open to bring another race into their family. I, myself used to date a wonderful black man but he made it clear to me that long term (marriage) was not an option as his parents would not accept a white girl into the family. He wouldn't even let me meet his parents. It's not just about racism or prejudice either way, it's more tradition and the ability to think outside the box.. and where the younger generation might be coming around, many older ones are just not there yet.

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  32.   jcandy says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 08

    I believe that love is colourless, it’s has no reservation with ones’ creed, social background and social fears. There are those, who have over the years created a social anxiety that has polluted the way in which some of us perceived individuals from different races. These maladaptive preconceptions have evidently become wide spread within our global society. However, I refuse to withstand the preconception of others regarding interracial dating; therefore, if it’s not to another persons liking the partner I want to share my life with, then I can still live my life without theirs or anyone else’s validation!

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  33.   jcandy says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 08

    I believe that love is colourless, it’s has no reservation with ones’ creed, social background and social fears. There are those who have over the years created a social anxiety that has polluted the way in which some of us perceived individuals from different races. These maladaptive preconceptions have evidently become wide spread within our global society. However, I refuse to withstand the preconception of others regarding interracial dating; therefore, if it’s not to another persons liking the partner I want to share my life with, then I can still live my life without theirs or anyone else’s validation!

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  34.   equalop4u says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 08

    I think the proof is in the action so to speak. A lot of people pay lip service about being broadminded and open when it comes to interacial marriages and relatioships, most are unable to deal with the reality. The reality is that most americans have an opinion about interacial co-mingling and it is not positive. It seems more acceptable if it's white and asian, but when it comes down to black and white, you meet a lot of resistance and resentment on both sides of the fence. In now quite a few people who feel that it is okay to socialize,or have intimate liasons, but marriage is a no-no. The truth is that there are very deep-seated fears on both side. Until we can openly and honestly dialogue with one another about our fears, misconception, our society will never truly accept interracial marriages. The key is to accept and respect each others' choices black or white, red or yellow.

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  35.   equalop4u says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 08

    I think the proof is in the action so to speak. A lot of people pay lip service about being broadminded and open when it comes to interacial marriages and relatioships, most are unable to deal with the reality. The reality is that most americans have an opinion about interacial co-mingling and it is not positive. It seems more acceptable if it's white and asian, but when it comes down to black and white, you meet a lot of resistance and resentment on both sides of the fence. In now quite a few people who feel that it is ok to socialize,or have intimate liasons, but marriage is a no-no. The truth is that there are very deep-seated fears on both side. Until we can openly and honestly dialogue with one another about our fears, misconception, our society will never truly accept interracial marriages. The key is to accept and respect each others' choices black or white, red or yellow.

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  36. Posted: 12 Sep 08

    Let's be realistic here. Racism is alive and well in the US. Just because someone doesn't yell out "beat that nigger and cracker for being together" does not mean that their silence is approval for you. Racism today is actually more quiet and deadly. I'd rather have the loud mouth racist bark, so I know to avoid him. The quiet one is the one that will hurt you like when you need help, suddenly he can't, but you thought he was cool. This country was built on hate and racism and it will never go away. It will just sprout different faces and voices.

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  37.   johneb30 says:
    Posted: 10 Sep 08

    I think most people in today's society are open to interracial dating in a 'warm and fuzzy feeling' type of way. However, when it comes to their own family members, I think many of the stereotypical fears and reservations come creeping back up and people (or those observing) begin to realize that they may not be as open as they thought they were. Also, some people love people of every race and color, but simply don't think it is right for some reason to marry or date between races and this in no way diminishes their sincere acceptance of people of all different types. For some reason, for some people, there is just a line there that in their mind should not be crossed. I don't understand it, but I also know their acceptance of all races is sincere (in other words, I don't believe them to be secretly prejudiced).

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  38.   cutesmile says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 08

    I approve of interracial dating alot....It shows that love has no color...Corny I know but the truth is the truth...I think it's a wonderful thing ....dating someone from the other race...Shows love has no color..it's just love.

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