The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.
The BEST Way to Date Interracially After 40 Is...
I recently got this letter from a reader...
"Hi, Christelyn,
I came across the BB&W website chance through an FB friends re-post of a picture from the Interracial Dating Central FB page. I’ve been looking through the website and at some of the YouTube videos and I’m glad I came across them. I will be 40yrs old in February and I have been single for 16yrs. I am a single mother of a teen. Over the 16yrs, I’ve had (2) blind dates which were set up by family or friends. The first one was a double date with a friend and her boyfriend when I was still in my 20s. Long story short, I was not the friend he expected her to set him up with (i.e. he was interested in “the white friend not the black one.”). The second one was a total mismatch in terms of age and goals(I was 25 and he was 45 and was looking for a housewife where I was focused on my child and career).
Your perfect partner could be online right now...
What are you looking for?
Since that time, I have chosen to concentrate on being a mom, developing and growing my relationship with God, healing from a past relationship, purchasing my home and pursuing things that I like to do (basically, working on me so that I can be ready for a healthy and committed relationship). With my daughter nearing her senior year in high school, I’ve been looking at reentering the dating world but I’m finding that I’m running into more perceptions similar to the first blind date situation described above. In high school, although I never dated or had a boyfriend, I was very much open to exploring my options. In college that somehow changed although I had a friend who was a great guy, interested in dating me, and who was white I was scared to pursue it because of what I thought others would say and I didn’t want to lose his friendship.
Unfortunately, I lost that friendship anyway by dating someone that I thought I was “supposed” to date. Now, at almost 40yrs old knowing who I am, being comfortable with who I am and wanting/knowing that I deserve a good, God-centered, loving, healthy, and starting off as friends type of relationship, I want to explore my options. Finding your website came at the right time as I have questions regarding dating outside my race. First, how do I (for a lack of a better word) position myself so that I am meeting men who date black women? Particularly if I am not a fan of dating websites and I’m not forward in the sense that I will not just go up to a man and ask him out. It’s not popular but I am old fashioned that way. In addition, I don’t see many interracial couples that are my age who have not been married for awhile. So it has me wondering if non-black men my age are also exploring their dating options. I’m pretty sure there are couples that have recently started dating that are my age and older but I just see younger couples. Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated."
Here's My Take…
Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of "Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed, and the publisher of a popular interracial dating blog for black women called Beyond Black & White.
Related Stories
-
Do You Prefer Dating White Men Who Have ONLY Ever Dated Black Women?
-
Robert De Niro Splits from Grace Hightower. Why It Doesn't Matter.
-
The Interracial Element You Might Have Missed in "Bird Box" [SPOILER]
-
So... What Do Black Men REALLY Think About Black Women Dating Interracially?
-
TLC's Chilli Says Black Women Should Swirl. Why Do We STILL Need Permission?
-
Meet 38-Year-Old Woman Who Has Never Had a Date!
-
QOTW: "I Feel Threatened By Asian Women."
7 responses to "The BEST Way to Date Interracially After 40 Is..."
Leave a reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
-
-
ceolvsvnla says:Posted: 04 Aug 15
I am also a forty year old black woman who was skeptical about creating an online dating profile. After listening to your advice just now, I am so glad that I have my profile on interracialdatingcentral.com. I now know that there are men on this site that are interested in getting to know me on a more personal level. Thank you. Sincerely, Ceolvsvnla
Reply to this comment -
imablady says:Posted: 11 Jun 14I have always dated outside my race, there are bad guys in every race. So instead of listening to what guys say I watch what they do "action speak louder than words"
Reply to this comment -
Porkchops says:Posted: 18 Mar 14
Stop worrying about how n what Others Perception of a Healthy/Loving relationship should look. Happy Dating Huggs*
Reply to this comment -
reggaegirl47 says:Posted: 20 Feb 14I was sceptical about internet dating sites..when I stumbled across this site it was the best thing that ever happened to me! it's the first time in my life I have had so many men who are interested in me.. black or white! I am so excited to see what the future holds for me.
Reply to this comment-
dor63 says:Posted: 01 Mar 14hi sista that is so true I never had so many men hitting on me its like crazy in a good way..feel free to date outside your race love has no colour
Reply to this comment
-
Swirling
-
Robert De Niro Splits from Grace Hightower. Why It Doesn't Matter.
Robert De Niro Splits from Grace Hightower. Why It Doesn't Matter. Last week’s news cycle comprised of the very sad news that Robert De Niro split from his wife of 20 years, Grace Hightower. Critics of interracial marriage in the bowels of the black sector of YouT...
-
The Interracial Element You Might Have Missed in 'Bird Box' [SPOILER]
The Interracial Element You Might Have Missed in "Bird Box" [SPOILER] The Netflix film, Bird Box is a definitive hit. Produced by Sandra Bullock, the sci-fi horror film where an unknown force compels people to commit suicide is comprised of a ragtag group of people bar...
-
TLC's Chilli Says Black Women Should Swirl. Why Do We STILL Need Permission?
TLC's Chilli Says Black Women Should Swirl. Why Do We STILL Need Permission? TLC’s Chilli is making the black media headlines because she stepped out of formation to tell black women they need to step out of racial prison and date out. The idea that Chilli made this announce...
-
Meet 38-Year-Old Woman Who Has Never Had a Date!
Meet 38-Year-Old Woman Who Has Never Had a Date! 38 year old woman who has never been on a date, kissed or had a boyfriend asks: "Can someone that lacks so much experience in dating and relationships find it at this advance age?!"
-
The New York Times Notices More IR Commercials, Too.
The New York Times Notices More IR Commercials, Too. As I just watched yet another interracial couple featured in a Progressive Insurance ad, (you know, the ones where the kids start turning into their parents) I get a Facebook notification that the New...
-
Black Woman Sued for Mocking White Woman's Interracial Relationship
Black Woman Sued for Mocking White Woman's Interracial Relationship When are we going to realize that other ecosystems do act like everything is a tiff at the backyard barbeque? The New York Daily News recently reported that a black woman making fun of a white woman i...
-
Are Millennial Women Absolutely Deluding Themselves About Dating.
Are Millennial Women Absolutely Deluding Themselves About Dating. I’ve recently made a commitment to myself to read more. In an effort to have some accountability in that department, I bought a subscription to the New York Times weekend edition. I absolutely MUST ...
-
Why Other Black Women are Becoming More Vocally Against Us 'Swirlers'
Why Other Black Women are Becoming More Vocally Against Us 'Swirlers' I guess as the head-girl advocating black women expanding their dating options makes me Public Enemy Number One. This has been historically predictable from territorial men, but the vitriol is ramping...
-
6 Reason White Men and Black Women Marriages Last the Longest {VIDEO}
6 Reason White Men and Black Women Marriages Last the Longest {VIDEO} We’ve discussed this before, but just in case he hadn’t heard, the longest lasting combo of interracial couples is black women and white men. Compared to white couples, apparently the black men...
-
Kendall St. Charles: 'Black Women Demand MORE of White Men'
Kendall St. Charles: "Black Women Demand MORE of White Men" A very interesting conversation came to pass when I created this meme and distributed throughout our social media pages. There were a few quotes that stood out to me that we should discuss. “They w...
Your perfect partner could be online right now...
What are you looking for?
Coaching Testimonial
"The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience"
Submitted by: Karen, USA, 34
My Dating Coach really took the time to go through my profile thoroughly. First she viewed my pictures and gave me great feedback.
She read through the written portion of my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on how to add my personality to it.
My amazing consultant, even asked how my contacts where going and offered a few suggestions to increase my interactions with new men.
I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments.
I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people which was the whole point of joining the site in the first place.
The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks!
Most Popular
- Can a Black Woman Find Love with a Former White Supremacist?
- Yes, Black Women DO Benefit from Interracial Dating and Marriage!
- Video: How to Tell When a 'Rainbeau' is Interested
- Video: Matthew Hussey and Christelyn Tackle a Sticky Relationship Question
- Why are Some Black Women Hating on Michael Ealy's New, Non-Black Wife?
- Question of the Week: "How Do I Approach Black Women?"
- Getting Ready for Your "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" Moment This Thanksgiving?
- Creating An Alluring Online Profile Sure to Turn Some Heads! (For the Ladies)
- Asian Men and Black Women Give Advice on How to Date Each Other
- Christelyn's Exclusive with Sexy Swirling Mom, Garcelle Beauvais!
I am 42 years old and I was hesitant at first dating online. Plus being a single mother to a 20 year old daughter and a 6 year old son, it's hard trying to meet in person. I am a little more receptive to online dating because I search independently.