Swirling by Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

QOTW Video: Guy Worries His Black Girlfriend Will Judge His Trump-Supporting Mom

Posted by Christelyn, 26 Aug 16

The Question:

I have been seeing my girlfriend for about 3 months now. She has yet to meet my family, but she is supposed to go to brunch with me to meet my mother in a few weeks. I told her my mother is planning on voting for Trump because she is a lifelong republican and does not like Hillary at all. My girlfriend has asked me repeatedly if my mother will have an issue with me dating “someone like her” (a BW). I have stated each time that my mother just wants me to be happy and she has no issues with me dating a BW, but my girlfriend thinks that anyone who supports Trump is implicitly supporting a racist, sexist, xenophobe. So she is indirectly calling my mother a racist before having met her. I am not voting for either major candidate (I am a libertarian). I get it, I think Trump is crazy and dangerous, but I am able to recognize that people can support him, but not all of his policies and are not implicitly supporting racism. I have asked my gf to keep an open mind and at least wait to meet my mother before judging her, but I am afraid she will not be able to get past this. She has said she can tell if someone doesn’t like her based on how they look at and talk to her. This could be true, I am a WM so I have not had to deal with these issues nor has my family. My inclination is to wait and see how the meeting goes and if my girlfriend keeps bringing this up or if my mother acts in an inappropriate way, then that might signal a larger issue. I am confident my mother is fully supportive, but I guess I won’t know until they meet. Do you have any advice? If you use this as a QOTW, can you just use my first name? I appreciate any advice you may have.

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Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

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