Swirling with Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

QOTW: Black Woman Frets About Only Wanting an IBM

Posted by Christelyn, 23 May

Got this note today…

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

"Hello there,

I can’t believe I’m actually doing this… I’ve wanted to write you for a long time!!!

So first let me start by saying that I love ur videos and articles and I think ur awesome, here is my dilemma/ issue! I am a black American woman 35 years old and I will be 36 years old in August. I have no children, have never been married and have only had one serious relationship/ situationship. The first guy that I really cared about in my life had only dated Caucasian girls before me, he broke up with me for a bi- racial girl and then left her for a Caucasian woman. He married the Caucasian woman had a child by her and they divorced. He has since married another Caucasian woman. A friend of mine introduced me to her brother -n- law ( a black man) in a friendly way and he was very cold and mean to me!! Now he is dating a white woman…

I am a good looking woman, in good shape, I workout,dress nice and am a makeup artist so I always keep myself up! I have many interests like language, the arts and travel. I have traveled to Europe, and I am on my way to Africa soon and I am also going back to school to get my medical assistant degree to have another career under my belt! I am very open minded, and family oriented!

I want to fall in love, get married and have a child. My problem is that I can’t give up hope of finding my IBM, I can’t let go of the hope to have a strong, beautiful black family! I’m not racist but it’s just my hearts desire, and always has been! I’m not bitter with these men that have chosen to love outside of the race, they have the right to, because God wanted the races to mix so I have no problem with interracial dating! It’s just that men of color always take me to be stuck up or approach me as a challenge, it’s heartbreaking for me because even though I’m a very modern, independent woman I would still like to have someone to live, love and laugh with at the end of the day! Black women that have found happiness with men outside of the race have advised me to strongly consider opening my options!

Please help Chris!!! Give me some advice, I can’t talk to anyone else about this!!!

Thanks in Advance!!!"

That said, I can’t help but pass this along too…

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, a site dedicated for black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships

4 responses to "QOTW: Black Woman Frets About Only Wanting an IBM"

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  1. Posted: 04 Feb 16

    Oh well expect to be single and unmarried for the rest of your life because the IBM does not exsist

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  2.   renmaisha says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 16

    all I can say is follow your heart . Go for that that your heart desires.

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