Swirling by Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

QOTW: Are You Keeping Your Interracial Dating Preferences in the Closet?

Posted by Christelyn, 07 Jun 15

The question…

Hi there,

I am a fan of your website, and lurked for over a year before I decided to participate not long ago. I hope you don’t mind, but I wondered if it would be possible to do a question of the week directed at black women and white men who are still in the closet. By closet I mean while they are very clear about their attraction to people of other races, they are still pretty quiet about it to the people in their lives. This question came about as a result of listening in on a conversation a couple of days ago at work, where several black female co-workers discussed their celebrity crushes. To my surprise almost all of the men were white, and I found out that one of my new co-workers was actually married to a white man and had a lovely daughter. Another black female co-worker intruded on the conversation by stating that she loved the “white chocolate”, and no one batted an eyelash. I said nothing, because work is work, and I do not believe in discussing personal interests in a business environment, but I laughed like a proud mother because I know that when I was younger, there were no such discussions or confessions being had anywhere, let alone at work. At any rate, this made me ask myself, “am I in the closet?” The answer is yes, and I just wondered if any of your readers were in this particular closet as well.

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Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She's also the co-host of "Swirlr" the first multiracial, multicultural dating show, and publishes the blog, Beyond Black & White.

4 responses to "QOTW: Are You Keeping Your Interracial Dating Preferences in the Closet?"

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  1.   KBreezy65 says:
    Posted: 25 Jun

    What amazes me the most is I find that having a discussion with AA women preferring to date white men only is when I go to their fb page and finding out that they have no white male friends and their post or comments involving relationships is being pro black. I'm from Indianapolis, IN and when asked if I've dated outside my race I usually post a pic of my family. See I'm about keeping it 100 not living in the closet. This is my preference

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    • reallycute says:
      Posted: 6 days ago

      Wow in the coat room is where a lot of stuff comes out but keeping it real is a good place to start. It's not just about dating a white man it's dating the right man. The package he comes in make no difference to me just the manner of man he is matters a lot. If he will love me the way I deserve to be loved and if he will love my beautiful babies as his own this is the man I would give my heart to.

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  2. Posted: 06 Sep 15

    No I don't keep my preferences in the closet. I love WM and I enjoy being with them.

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    • cass02 says:
      Posted: 16 Sep 15

      I also don't "closet" my preference for dating BW as I have dated and had relationships exclusively since high school back in the 1980's !!!

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