Of sex: Are you denying yourself a full life?
We think sex, talk sex… But just like love, sex is still one of the things most of us have a problem decoding… especially when it involves totally pleasing the other person and you getting maximum satisfaction.
Many have settled for less just so the other person can get pleasure. Many of us have had to do freaky stuff (stuff we would never have done in a million years) just so our loved ones can have their fantasies fulfilled. Some couples have mismatched sexual desire levels… one wants more, the other probably don’t want it at all. Some just do it as a favor to their mates while others approach it like a chore – laundry has to be done, sex too. :lol: . I could go on and on… But with so much writing about sex, you would think most of us would have put a finger on its mysteries by now.
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Oprah did a show, Sex Therapy, and had Dr. Laura Berman (pictured above), author of Real Sex for Real Women on it, to tell us everything we need to know about sex and more…. Dr Berman confessed that important sex is in her life and that she doesn’t want to live without it. “…when sex is working in a relationship, it's just one small part of the working relationship. But when it's not working, it really can take on a life of its own and really fray the fiber of your connection to one another."
True dat! But does not enjoying sex make you feel like life is being sucked out of you? Well, according to her, “denying yourself the opportunity to enjoy sex doesn't just cheat you out of pleasure—it also robs you of the chance for a full and happy life.”
So how are you supposed to enjoy sex if you are this woman Kerrie (on the show) who tells Dr. Berman that she doesn't always get back what she gives – she often performs oral sex on Shawn (the husband), but Shawn doesn't reciprocate? Do you agree with Dr. Berman?
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13 responses to "Of sex: Are you denying yourself a full life?"
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Smile4242 says:Posted: 13 Jan 10
This is where being totally honest about what you are looking for helps. You may turn away many good women, but by being yourself you may discover the perfect match that loves sex the way you love sex, and in the same quantity as well, not to mention similar goals and philosophies on life.
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delicious149 says:Posted: 28 Nov 09It's extremely selfish of both women & men to not please their mate by not giving or showing as much intimacy as the mate has shown. The one who gives the most per say will soon become tired of giving, feel less attracted to mate, wonder if mate is cheating or if one is not giving the attention to you, are they enjoying these types of pleasures w/someone else. Those who hold back are self centered. If they feel it is old fashioned to do the "kinky" things we tend to do; why let your mate perform such acts if one is not willing to give mate the same pleasurable experience? Yes, one does sell themselves short. Why just settle for less than u want or need out of a relationship? Much better to do without than to endure the emotional stress & tension these issues create in a relationship. Nothing is better than being alone and having a peace of mind.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 04 Oct 09OH MY GOODNESS, Deprincess!! The last girl I dated couldn't believe I enjoyed... you know... cuniligus as much as I did when I told her. We had a very indepth discussion about sex before we ever engaged in it. It was pretty cool and she finally realized just how much I enjoyed it after she got to experience it. Sexual energy is too powerful to be wasted. At times we think about how to please our partners a little TOO much. Either that or we just wait for our partners to do something. Everyone knows how to fulfill themselves, but there's a reason we choose mates. Find ways you can use your mate rather than expecting them to make something happen when they don't know about your body like you do. I love seeing a women get her's. Especially if she wants to use me to do it.
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Deprincess says:Posted: 21 Sep 09Giving is a choice, that means you choose, maybe you and your partner should be a little more clear as to how it goes down in the bedroom, kitchen or whereever. Me personally when i give , i get pleasure just from doin it , i love dat head!!!
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Spicegirl630 says:Posted: 09 Sep 09I agree with Firefly321. Sex can be a beautiful thing between two people who have the same mindset and connection. You should not expect/or try to demand, more than you're willing to give. Don't settle for something that doesn't satisfy you, just to have someone in your life.
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dnice0804 says:Posted: 03 Sep 09The problem is, men are selfish, and want to believe they're Superman, when they are really wimpy! Millions of women are totally unsatisfied! 30 million men suffer from erectile dysfunction, and many more suffer from lack of stamina, and weak libido! www.x-rawpower.com, It's the relationship builder! Promotes powerful erections, last up to 72hrs, increases stamina, no chemicals, no need to take everyday, low, low, cost! If the man is strong, the sex is usually good! With a weak man, there is no possiblity of fulfulling sex! www.x-rawpower.com
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Member says:Posted: 01 Sep 09
after joining this site i5 open up my eye's to a whole new world and nowank you isee the world in a whole new way and i truly thank you
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Member says:Posted: 01 Sep 09
after joining this site i5 open up my eye's to a whole new world and nowank you isee the world in a whole new way and i truly thank you
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Sucess says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Again I agree with fire321. But I want to say more. Carnac died a few years ago, so I don't know anyone else who reads minds. Everyone has different kinks. So tell the person what you want. I have had lovers that bored me, we wasted each others time. Followed by lovers that are my mirrored image. I think that not having sex is so importnat that most everyone that when the home work is not being done, women will will find someone that is willing to do the homework. I know this for a fact. Don't settle for less than we deserve. Self respect, the time value of love and sex are too important to settle for less.
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Austrian says:Posted: 28 Aug 09
Also I agree, Fire 321! The MYSTERY of EROTIC DREAMS will stay forever. That makes it so enchantingly interesting. No issue is bombarded with more LIES than SEX Pure Sex, however- can be worked out much easier between partners, if there is enough openness in communication. It has a lot more to do with techniques - and subsequently can be learned. Erotic dreams are instinctive and can not be manipulated. We, who are lucky to have a mate, who understands our EROTIC DREAMS and is knowledgeable of SEXUAL SKILLS, are in HEAVEN when being loved.
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jaden24 says:Posted: 28 Aug 09
I completely agree Fire321 - I couldnt have said it any better
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Fire321 says:Posted: 27 Aug 09Sex should be a mutual connection between partners. One should not want/expect certain acts if they are not willing to give the same to their partner. if certain acts are very important to you and you haven't received it, perhaps that is a sign that you should seek out someone that is on the same level as you sexually. Perhaps everything else in the relationship is great but not having the type of intimacy you need from your mate can eventually cause greater problems down the line.
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About the Topic of Denying yourself a full life ? Medically & Scientifically proven, Sex does keep the human body stress free in many ways, but also can be stressful for those who can't manage alot. Well anything We do too much in life can be stressful. Sex was a gift of pleasure from God between Man & Woman but if there are Persons who deny themselves of the fullness of it's pleasure ? That's their decision. For all who enjoy the Fullness of I say keep it up & live long.