Sexual Abuse and behavior problems don't just happen to someone else!
Have you noticed behavior from a loved one or friend that confuses you? Perhaps their actions are inappropriate and you're not sure what to do or if you are just over reacting. Sometimes people's actions are a cry for help. Are you really listening or are you subscribing to the "somebody else's problem" way of thinking?
We often joke about people coming out of relationships with some extra "baggage". In some cases, that baggage that we're talking about is childhood wounds and secrets that were barely mentioned; let alone treated. I'm referring to sexual abuse. It's the thing that a lot of families don't talk about, or maybe don't even know about because the victims are sworn or threatened into secrecy.
Find your soulmate on InterracialDatingCentral
Let's first dispel the myths. Sexual abuse doesn't just happen to children, women or one race or religion. However, when it happens during your childhood and is not detected or addressed, then it could led to a lifetime of "baggage" and emotional trauma. It affects us all because we are all connected. That abused little girl grows up to believe that she has to use her body to get what she wants in this world. So, she does, with your brother, son, father, husband.
That little abused boy grows up not trusting, because the people he thought should have saved him didn't and now he's not only confused about his own sexuality he has to prove to himself that he is a man by being with as many women as he can.
I'm always stunned when I hear people put down getting professional help. Usually it's people that have never spoken with a psychologist or therapist of any sort that have the strongest opinions about why they don't work. The truth is that we need to talk to someone. There are more and more people walking around this earth that have had some form of physical, mental or emotional abuse than not. Chances are if you were not a victim as a child or young adult, someone you know was.
This affects the way they communicate with others. It affects their ability to trust and be trusted. The saddest part is that there are some of us that don't realize that there was abuse in our past and that it is not Normal and it certainly was NOT your fault!
Have you ever seen an adult play with a child or talk about a child in a way that made you feel uncomfortable? Don't ignore the behavior or your gut. Ask questions. We often hear the horror stories after the fact. Then people close to the situation say there were signs, they just didn't want to believe it.
Here's just a few:
- Talks again and again about the sexual activities of children or teens
- Talks about sexual fantasies with children
- Was abused as a child and won't deal with it
- Encourages silence and secrets in children
- Collects or enjoys looking at child pornography
- Asks adult partners to dress or act like a child or teen during sexual activity
- Spends most spare time on activities involving children or teens, not adults
If you know someone or suspect that perhaps you may have a problem talk with someone right away. Get help. There are a ton of agencies listed on the internet that you can contact to get the information and assistance that you need to address your individual situation.
No one can turn back the hands of time and undo any wrong that has been done to you or someone you love. What we can do is stop this from happening to anyone else that we love.
I'll help you get started now...here's a toll free number for help 1 888 PREVENT.
Related Stories
Responses to "Sexual Abuse and behavior problems don't just happen to someone else!"
Be the first to leave a comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
-
-
Kalilah says:Posted: 21 Sep 06
Wonderful information...all mothers and fathers should be aware of who they bring around their children as well.
Reply to this comment -
-
Marquez097 says:Posted: 20 Sep 06I hope people are taking this article to heart. Its a serious issue.
Reply to this comment -
babymeat says:Posted: 20 Sep 06
im going to print this and show all my friends, thanks!
Reply to this comment -
unme23 says:Posted: 20 Sep 06my cousin has been a victim when u was youger, 20 years later, she still can not forget it.
Reply to this comment -
-
Daphne says:Posted: 19 Sep 06
I was raped by a Man with a very large penis at the age of 21. 21 years ago. To this day I am afraid of men, I lived with women for the better part of my life but that's not who I am anymore. I am seeking the Man that God would have for me but before he comes I want to be healed of the baggage. And how do you share all of this with the right guy?
Reply to this comment -
notshytc says:Posted: 19 Sep 06recovery from abuse can be so difficult and a support system of friends and family are so important....great article
Reply to this comment -
HEARTNSOUL23 says:Posted: 17 Sep 06
Thanks for sharing and also for all the information this site has been providing..... My heart goes out to all who are hurting by an abuser or anything else, as I was abused by a partner 4 years ago... Its hard, but once you learn to love yourself again and take back your life......you can live a good life.
Reply to this comment -
justknwoingu says:Posted: 16 Sep 06very good article, and informative...I will pass this along!
Reply to this comment -
Ruben says:Posted: 16 Sep 06I like articles like these. Relates to everyday life.
Reply to this comment -
6wings says:Posted: 13 Sep 06
it's a great article and i want to know if and how i can ask questions about this issue
Reply to this comment -
Hazeleyes777 says:Posted: 13 Sep 06Sometimes children think they have to stay out of the way of busy parents. Being too preoccupied with making a living and a social life sometimes doen not leave room for the attention children need and that is something that is noticed by a predator.
Reply to this comment -
iceburger says:Posted: 12 Sep 06So sad that some things are taken for granted
Reply to this comment -
Brad_lee says:Posted: 12 Sep 06The message itself is obvious but these columns must be written, cos the world is gettin mo and mo twisted every day. Information about these things is needed for people still living in the dark.
Reply to this comment -
-
yoby says:Posted: 08 Sep 06good article, there are so manny people who don't know yet how things in the real life are....
Reply to this comment -
fala says:Posted: 08 Sep 06
Great article and on such an important topic. Thanks for enlightening us.
Reply to this comment -
-
-
vanessa says:Posted: 06 Sep 06its bad since there is so much sexual abuse and I too had a sexual encounter but it was a doctor and you know the movie "The Hand That Rocks The Cradle?" It was something like that. I tell every women to have your boy friend or husband any one to go for dotor visits. I'm in the medical profession and retired but there's always someone out there getting hurt be careful every male or female
Reply to this comment -
maria says:Posted: 06 Sep 06
I love what you guys are doing with the site. i am enjoying the free education am getting here. thank you!
Reply to this comment -
urmydestiny says:Posted: 06 Sep 06
Such an important article. Talking certainly helps. I want to say well done to those who were able to write about their experiences, because things can only get better from here on.
Reply to this comment -
iceburger says:Posted: 06 Sep 06
Great. A must read for all. I think we should all say no to silence. We should speak out.
Reply to this comment -
unme23 says:Posted: 06 Sep 06
I have this one lady i cant figure out. she loves me one day, then I dont hear from her. I really dont get it!!
Reply to this comment -
misslady1970 says:Posted: 05 Sep 06This article, brought back memories from my child hood...I had a close family member, who abused us as children,until i read this article, i thought i blocked out, just had it hidden deep down in my soul....It's like "we all hear the crys for help" ,Now what can we do to help this prevent, this from happening to another person?
Reply to this comment -
mandie says:Posted: 05 Sep 06i really liked this article, informative and true.
Reply to this comment -
Charmaine says:Posted: 04 Sep 06This article was deep and informative. Moreover, we all need to be adequately informed so we can be more aware of the signs and symptoms in an effort to lend a helping hand to the victims.
Reply to this comment -
rubyrose says:Posted: 04 Sep 06Any type of abuse no matter at what stage in ones' life it occurs can lead to mistrust. The abuse must be faced and dealt with in order for us as individuals to heal and continue.
Reply to this comment -
Mayrie47 says:Posted: 04 Sep 06In admitting something as tramatizing as this, I hope that the love of my life is out there and understands. A year ago I was diagnosed with BPD, and while undergoing treatment, the question, to why I am the way I am with men and relationships, was answered, during a rain storm. I saw it as if it had happen that very moment. I rush to tell my therapist about it, sadly, she thought I was imagining that. Well, to this day when it rains, really bad, and it rains a lot here, I relive that imagination. So, what I do I tell my self its not real and it didn't happen, but it helps me to understand my mistrust in men. Thanks for the article. Maybe someone will think that its not just my imagination running away.
Reply to this comment -
Milk says:Posted: 04 Sep 06Sexual abuse damages people for the rest of their lives
Reply to this comment -
ebonybeautyj says:Posted: 02 Sep 06
This happens more often than we think,we must all be vigilant to protect our children!
Reply to this comment -
romeoluvs says:Posted: 02 Sep 06
Amazing article.. will definitely make it read to everybody else.
Reply to this comment -
sweetest1 says:Posted: 02 Sep 06I feel for those victims and I pray that my daughter never has to experience anything like that!!
Reply to this comment -
sarah says:Posted: 01 Sep 06my niece was recently a victim, and having been thru it myself when i was younger i know her pain... thanks for the article.
Reply to this comment -
-
-
jimmirix says:Posted: 31 Aug 06Very sobering. Very informative. This type of artical needs to be featured more.
Reply to this comment -
Carla says:Posted: 31 Aug 06
too scary.....its so true...sad but true.......I am forwarding this to alot of my friends...people just dont know!
Reply to this comment -
TrueHarmony says:Posted: 30 Aug 06Wow. This commentary was really something to think about. Sad, but informative. Thanks for this article because a lot more people need to know.
Reply to this comment -
marquez097 says:Posted: 30 Aug 06
Many people fail to realize that the way one acts or reacts often is determined by how that person was treated. Insecurities and fears, be it sexual or other kinds, in a relationship are usually caused by some cause other than the partner in the relationship. If there is a true caring relationship...your partner will work through the issues with you and back you up when needed. Not run for the hills.
Reply to this comment -
mossimo36 says:Posted: 29 Aug 06
A good story. I have some friends that need to be forwarded this article.
Reply to this comment -
kenyanito says:Posted: 29 Aug 06my cousin was abused and none of us knew untill she was in her final year at school. She had an outburst and as the guardian, i was called. To cut the matter short, i've had series of therapies with her and told her to grow up better than whoever molested her. She's come out of it. Please keep up this articles.
Reply to this comment -
Euroecuboy says:Posted: 28 Aug 06
The public needs to be aware of things like this one.
Reply to this comment -
misslady1970 says:Posted: 28 Aug 06
Wow, this is a subject very few of us likes to approach.It saddens me to even think about it..All i wanna say is this hits home with a bang....
Reply to this comment -
Kandi says:Posted: 28 Aug 06
I love these types of articles..Reading this makes me have have hope.
Reply to this comment -
-
Hazeleyes777 says:Posted: 26 Aug 06
You are absolutely right. It finally hit home with our family. Except our little boys don't like girls because they were abused by men.
Reply to this comment -
Cyn says:Posted: 26 Aug 06This is a very good ideal, it really helps me in some ways. I was once a victim of sexual abuse when I was young but thank God I have been able to pass through that difficulty now. I don't think about it anymore and I dont have any baggage. Thanks for your article, I'm sure it will help alot of poeple on this site.
Reply to this comment
Advice
-
The Search for a Better Way to Think
The Search for a Better Way to Think Just as our bodies have immune systems designed to fend off diseases that can incapacitate or kill us, our minds and cultures have similar processes in place to keep us safe from bad ideas and stop th...
-
Give Yourself the Gift of Done
Give Yourself the Gift of Done According to the University of Scranton, 92 percent of all resolutions fail. In spite of living in a world of bottomless opportunities, most of us are also relentlessly sidetracked by endless distract...
-
Why the F*%k Do Men Always Come Back?!
Why the F*%k Do Men Always Come Back?! You can set your watch to it. They break up with you . . . you spend weeks—in fact, months—hurting and getting over them, and just as you realize you no longer think about them all the time and be...
-
Let's Celebrate International Infinity Day!
Let's Celebrate International Infinity Day! Celebrate International Infinity Day on August 8, a day dedicated to recognizing the profound significance of the number 8 and its representation of infinite possibilities, boundless connections, and ...
-
Finding Him the Best Birthday Present Ever
Finding Him the Best Birthday Present Ever Birthdays are incredibly special, especially when it's for someone we love so much! But choosing the perfect gift for him can be a bit tricky. Don't worry, we're here to help you make his birthday the...
-
Past Online Relationship: Steps to Rediscover the Connection
Past Online Relationship: Steps to Rediscover the Connection Reconnecting with someone from your past online relationship can be an exciting and delicate process. Whether you had a falling-out or simply lost touch, rebuilding the connection requires sensitivity...
-
Use the Power of Touch to Strengthen Your Relationship
Use the Power of Touch to Strengthen Your Relationship In a world dominated by technology, the significance of touch often goes unnoticed. However, when it comes to interracial dating, physical contact holds immense power to deepen connections and foster ...
-
How to Plan a Surprise Birthday Party for Her
How to Plan a Surprise Birthday Party for Her Birthdays are a special occasion to celebrate the ones we love, and what better way to show your affection than by organizing a surprise birthday party for your special woman? It's a chance to create ...
-
Top 5 Best Dating Tips for Seniors
Top 5 Best Dating Tips for Seniors Dating in your golden years can be a delightful and rewarding experience. It's an opportunity to explore new connections and enjoy the companionship. Whether you're re-entering the dating scene after ...
-
Evaluate Your Relationship, Not Your Partner
Evaluate Your Relationship, Not Your Partner At the risk of embarrassing myself (and a friend of mine), I’m going to share with you a conversation I had in 2008 when I was debating whether or not I should get married. It contained some price...
Find your soulmate on InterracialDatingCentral
Coaching Testimonial
"My online love inspiration angel"
Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21
To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!
I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).
She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.
She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".
Most Popular
- 1. Yes, Black Women DO Benefit from Interracial Dating and Marriage!
- 2. Raising Her Profile - to the Next Level
- 3. Video: How to Tell When a 'Rainbeau' is Interested
- 4. What to look for on a First Date
- 5. Cast a wide net or filter with care?
- 6. A Graceful Goodbye: End Of Date Etiquette
- 7. Contest: Valentine's "Extreme Profile Makeover"
- 8. Contest: What's Your New Years Relationship Resolution?
- 9. Glad I Found My Husband Before That Blonde Did!
- 10. Why are Some Black Women Hating on Michael Ealy's New, Non-Black Wife?
don't ever stop talking about this. or put it aside. i did. for too long. i pushed it down, down deep just so i could carry on. i knew in my heart that i was keeping someone else's secret. i was quiet because it would be too uncomfortable for them. it would make their life too difficult. that's what it does to you. makes you think about them first, they are the important ones. that's what they want you to think. it's a head thing more than a sex thing. i am 53 yrs old and tackling this thing full-on for the first time in my life. it is the hardest thing i ever did. but the most necessary. and no matter who understands or doesn't, or who supports me or not, i'm doing it. i am doing it it took me a long time to get to this place. but i'm here now. my heart is with all of you who are affected by this. stand tall and don't lose your swagger