How to Date Guys Who Have Never Had a Girlfriend

Posted by Akila, 18 Jan

Are you the kind of girl that wouldn't mind guys who have never had a girlfriend? Would it even work? Read on to find out how to go about such relationships.

Tips for understanding how to date a guy who has never had a girlfriend

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Hey girl, before you go running out of that relationship like some hot potato was dropped on you, you’ve got to read these tips on how to handle that new boyfriend of yours who’s never been in a relationship. Nothing beats being in a relationship with a mature and experienced man. But what happens when you meet an awesome, but an inexperienced guy and all the signs are there?

There are so many reasons why he’s never been in a relationship before. And the reasons might not be bad either. He's probably on the list of guys who have never had a girlfriend because he might assume girls don’t like him. He probably hasn't found the right girl yet. Maybe he just lacks the confidence of approaching ladies. So why prove him right by bailing on him?

I realize how difficult it might be dealing with his inexperience and drama during the initial stages of the relationship. But hey everyone goes through their naïve relationship stage. So, look at it from the half glass full perspective. You could teach him the right way to love a lady and the right things to do in a relationship. So, in light of this Love is all colors has put together these excellent tips for understanding how to date a guy who has never had a girlfriend.

1. Be Direct (Not Passive Aggressive)

Now, let’s remind you again that he’s never been in a relationship. Hence, he might not understand your gestures or feelings in most situations, unlike an experienced guy. Drop the whole “he should know what to do” attitude because believe me he doesn’t. For starters, dating a guy who has never had a girlfriend means he doesn’t know pretty much how girls behave in relations. So you have to be plain and direct when communicating with guys who have never had a girlfriend.

When dating a guy with no relationship experience, communication is usually a major problem. He doesn’t know how to express his feelings appropriately, or he might go overboard. He would most likely act on impulse most times, and this could rattle up things. Learn to be expressive and allow him to express himself also.

“My 38 yr. Old fiancé had ONE short (less than a year) serious relationship when we started our fling... I had 3 husbands before him. I didn't kick him to the curb...we ended up in counseling to work on communication skills, but other than that I would never say NO to him”, says Momina on DearCupid.ORG. Just like Momina, you could try couples counseling to work on your communication issues.

2. Appreciate him

Let me remind you again that he's never had a serious relationship. Therefore, you need to show him what a woman’s love feels like.

Your new boyfriend may not have all the experience in the world on how to be the movie type boyfriend. However, people learn eventually. Appreciate his little efforts. That way he will learn to appreciate you too. For instance, if he gets you a lovely cat (even though you are not a cat person), appreciate his gesture first before you explaining that you don't like cats. This way he knows you understand him and he will make a positive effort to correct his gift buying flaws next time.

The thing is, our ability to grow deeper in love stems from how our partners cherish us. No one loves to stay with a woman who constantly picks out his flaws even when he’s trying his best. Yes, I know he might act naïve in most cases but hey, that’s why you are the experienced one here.

Most men don’t date because they feel unattractive. They shy away when they come in contact with attractive women.

Dua Dump, an IT consultant gave an account of why he had never had a girlfriend at 34, saying, “If someone asked me why it hadn't happened yet I'd probably start shut down into full self-hate mode. My immediate thought if someone were to tell me I was attractive (hasn't happened unless you count my therapist and my mother) would probably be that they're either pitying me or trying to play me. So if someone asked me why I've never been in a relationship, I'd probably respond with something like 'because I'm an ugly and depressed' which would probably make anyone disappear in a cloud of dust like the Road Runner.”

There you have it! Now if you happen to meet a guy such as Dua Duap, shower him with love, appreciation, and kindness. Prove him wrong about his misconception and boost his self-esteem.

3. Respect his space and boundaries

There’s a high probability he’s an introvert. Most introverts easily get exhausted just by staying around people who talk or play too much. Now I know these habits may have developed over time while dating other guys. And those guys probably love you for it and called you funny and all. But hey, this is a whole new, different kind of guy. You have to give him time and space to get into that zone.

Maybe the reason why he's never had a serious relationship is his shy nature. He’s probably set so many boundaries.  For instance, if he loves his video games a lot, and if you’re always nagging to get his attention when he is at playing his games, the relationship would probably hit rock bottom sooner than later.

4. Ignore the side talks

One of the most important tips for understanding how to date guys who have never had a girlfriend, especially if a shy guy likes you is to ignore the side talks from third parties. Your new boyfriend probably has friends who are over excited that he is dating for the first time. Some might constantly be tempted to poke their noses into your affair in a bid to “make sure everything is alright.” This could be the most annoying thing when dating a guy with no relationship experience.

On the other hand, you should also ignore side talks from best friends who feel it’s awful to date a dude with no prior knowledge of relationships. They probably think they mean well, but unless the relationship is unhealthy for you, there’s no reason why two consenting adults should be tutored on how to run their lives and relationship.

5. Do not let it bother you when he questions your feelings

A good tip on how to date a guy who has never had a girlfriend is never to let his shenanigans get to you. Most inexperienced men are often too insecure and rely on their insecurities. It gets worse if you are not too lovey-dovey with him. He will undoubtedly frustrate you with the you-don’t-love-me-enough attitude.

Similarly, you might date one of the types who might insist on a breakup over every little quarrel or misunderstanding. I have a friend Amy, who once dated this computer nerd, Philip, who had never been in any relationship before Amy. It was more like the love at first sight romance for those two. Amy had never been in any successful relationships either. So the two stuck like cheese on bread.

Unfortunately, Philip was obsessively in love with Amy and every time they had an argument he would freak out and assume that she was going to leave him for someone else. It took a while for him to understand that girlfriends don’t just up and leave like that.

You might be in an Amy situation with your new guy right now. If he’s the insured type, address his insecurities. Eventually, he will learn how to love you better.

6. Control your ego

Yes, we know you’ve dated football stars and legends. You need to remember he’s just experiencing love for the first time. So don't go rubbing his inexperience on his face. Dating is a continuous experience, and you learn every day from your partner. It's quite wrong to go bragging to him about your sexcapades and past romantic highlights. For starters, you might not be as knowledgeable as you think and end up embarrassing yourself eventually. Secondly, no sane lady brags to a new boyfriend about an ex. If the other guy was so perfect why didn’t it work out?

Hope these tips on how to date a guy who hasn’t had a relationship in the past will be helpful. Everyone eventually finds love at their own time. So if your new boyfriend is new to the dating world, don't make a big deal out of it.

For more information, take a look at these secrets known by those who have the most successful relationships.

1 responses to "How to Date Guys Who Have Never Had a Girlfriend"

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  1.   IamBond says:
    Posted: 19 Jun

    Well...also something I'd like to add (being as objective as possible): Understand that just because a man has not been in a relationship before, that doesn't mean that something is inherently 'wrong with him'. There could be many reasons that someone may not understand. I've been transparent about that in my profile, and maybe I shouldn't have been. I don't think that it's a case of me allowing it to define me, as much as it is that I don't find it to be anything to be ashamed of. And I think that single women should be more open-minded to that. You're not going to find that very much with women, because since the beginning of time, they have always had their pick. An at least borderline attractive woman will always have men to choose from. But, that's not the case with a borderline attractive man. So men are almost always expected to 'not be picky' or 'take what they can get', because they're not the "chosen" ones. So men (like me) have to believe that we're good enough no matter what. And we shouldn't have to change who we are just to prove it. So the main thing is to just keep an open. Just because a man hasn't had an experience by a certain age, let's not just write him off as a charity case No one likes being judged or put into a 'box'.

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