Help: Husband wont initiate sex except on Sundays!

Posted by James, 16 Mar 12

initiate sexWhen my friend approached me about her sex problem with her husband, much as I am a man, I have never been married so I really didn’t know what to tell her. I figured, most people on the site have been through marriage hence better placed to assist. Well, she went:

"Everything was great before; until the day I moved in with him. Four years down the line, a wedding and a baby, things have become worse. We used to have sex very often and then it never seemed like any of us was initiating it. Its like we just knew: NOW!!! But once I moved in, all that synchrony just vanished.

Suddenly, I started feeling as if I was the one who was doing most of the initiating. When I brought it up, things got better for a couple of weeks then they would just slip back in the mud. Only problem is: as years went by, it got worse. And much as the once a week Sunday sex is great, it feels like he only makes a move because its Sunday; like its become an obligation -"Oh! Another Sunday! Let's be done with it." It’s like I am the only one who initiates sex on other days of the week. I end up feeling like he no longer wants and desires me that way.

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I know things have changed; our circumstances have changed. But when I ask him if they are affecting our sex life, he claims I am as sexy as I used to be when we met and that I still turn him on as much as I used to. We love each other dearly; that I don't doubt. But much as sex aint the main ingredient in a marriage, I believe marriage should be more than love and friendship. I don’t expect us to go back to the humping-every-minute days but do want things to change for the better.

Do I have to live with the fact that I want more sex with him and he just wants it and gets turned on on Sundays? Am I being petty for not appreciating the Sunday sex?"


4 responses to "Help: Husband wont initiate sex except on Sundays! "

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  1.   ramoga says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 12

    Ibest advice is talk to him let him know how you feel . The biggest problems in marriages is communication. Couples do not talk about things that bother them in the marriage. You never know one day you will always have the " I WiSH " it always come when its too late.

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  2.   elle6159 says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 12

    Seriously. If you're not getting what you need sexually. it can be very frustrating and damaging to your self esteem. I would suggest buying sex toys and pleasuring yourself but we know that's only good for "the moment'. people need to be touched, caressed, kissed, feel loved and wanted. My big "thing' is. "You only live once." You either make yourself happy or live to make someone else happy. Is he happy? If so, is that good enough for you in your life? I also understand being mentally and physically exhausted. BUT...sexual desire doesn't have a peek time. You husband is dealing with some stuff and he needs to come clean or allow you to get some joy some where else. Even if it means outside of the marriage via an open relationship or a divorce. i'm not suggesting you throw in the towel on your marriage. i'm merely suggesting. IT'S YOUR ONE LIFE.

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  3.   elle6159 says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 12

    And you're complaining.

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  4. Posted: 25 Mar 12

    No. You might just be a sexual person. When I'm used to getting it on the regular, and it becomes once a week....he might either be ovestressed at work or cheating. If you ask the right questions, you'll know the answer.

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