Dating someone in the meantime?

Posted by James, 17 Jun

“Never take a part-time job because it will become your full-time life.” – Pablo Picasso

Do you have these friends who have never been single for as long as you’ve known them? They jump from one relationship to the next … From one part-time relationship (or rebound relationship if you please) to the next – in the hopes of meeting the one someday. It’s called ‘just dating in the meantime’. One thing that never occurs to such people is that by lowering their standards, they could be missing out on a chance of real love.

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‘In the meantime’ is wasted time which means missed opportunities. It’s like putting your life as you would like it to be on an indefinite suspension, crossing fingers that someday, things will be different. In the meantime means you have lowered your standards and settled for less…

Some stay in wrong relationships due to fear of being alone. They call it Autophobia … constantly worrying about being ignored or unloved … never wanting to spend a significant period of time alone. And dating has become like getting a pet … a form of insulation against loneliness.

These relationships we get into in the meantime could end up being ‘it’– and I don’t mean the good kind of ‘it’. I mean the Oops! WTF ‘it’. Oops happens and when it does, it can make you be tied to someone you never wanted to spend your life with in the first place. The part-time relationship suddenly becomes a full-time business.

Have you ever met couples who just seem wrong for each other? Try finding out why they are together and you will realize, they don’t want to … they just have to … for the children or some other obligation. The meantime relationships have robbed their chances of ever finding real love because they have to now live with that meantime relationship real-time … indefinitely.

I know lots of people who have found lasting love after getting out of part-time relationships, within a short time of being totally single.

So stop dating him or her because you fear being alone. Instead, deal with yourself and your dependency issues. Don’t define yourself in terms of a spouse or the person you are dating. Instead, embark of a journey to discover yourself through self-reflection and realization. And once you define yourself, then you will be ready to build lasting and satisfying relationships with others … relationships where you will be truly happy.

3 responses to "Dating someone in the meantime?"

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  1.   friendly13 says:
    Posted: 13 May 10

    Well, I think that having friends of the opposite sex is okay as long as both parties understand where they stand. But when I meet someone and it gets serious the other guys have to back off. I am going to focus on my man. But if there is noone wanting a one on one committment with me then I am free to have friends.

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  2.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 10 Apr 10

    Dating someone or someones "in the meantime" makes a certain amount of sense but being with someone from a place of fear makes none at all to me.

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  3.   osunbaby says:
    Posted: 20 Sep 09

    James, I hate to say this and come off as strictly critical, because I understand the challenges involved in producing niche content, but this is probably the most sensible piece of writing I've read from you so far.

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