We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they’d rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase – ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
Im the same way as mike 8915,
Ive always liked black woman too, there was something special, or different about them that i reeally like, they are touchers and not skittish like my race woman ive been out with,
why cant we all just get along like God wants us to,
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Comment by edward, on 8 July 2010:
“this guy I kmnow out in calif,
He got married a few month’s ago, but he never talks about his wife, or acts like shes there or talks like hes married to her,….”
Are they an interracial couple and he is ashamed of that, or is he just ashamed of being married in general?
You might get arrested doing that out on the beach.. lol!!
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10 Things Women Love About Men
1) Honesty and Trust…These will always be the two most important things women look for in a man,whether he is black, white, yellow or red.
2) Affection…We love it when you hold our hand, run your finger through our hair or just have your arm around us. Touch is a very powerful sensation!
3) Sense of Humor…If you can make us laugh, you are awesome! Several months ago I was watching one of the morning news show. The female anchors were asked if they had marry a man who was good looking, smart or funny, who would they choose. Each one said the funny guy!
4) Manners…I know chivalry is not entirely dead. It may be old fashioned but good manner makes you stand out from the crowd. Say “please” and “thank you”. Open the doors for her. It makes you gallant and chivalrous like a knight in shining armor!
5) We love it when you take care of yourself and the ones you love. Women will notice how well you treat your family and friends, especially your mother.
6) We love it when you take care of us when we are sick or feeling stressed out
and we love to do the same for you.
7) We love seeing the little boy in you. It’s endearing to see your face when you talk about your dog.
We also love seeing the man in you, when you are confident, take charge of situations and get things done.
9) We love seeing you do guy stuff or in some cases at least try to fix the TV or work on the car. It makes us feel very feminine and womanly.
10) We love when you are vulnerable and not afraid to show your emotions. This creates a very powerful attraction.
I’m sure the ladies here would agree with the above mentioned.
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@Sabina
I could not have made better list myself!
Well said!
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I don’t care about any of this color thing. People should be with who they want to be with. I know I will. I just want a good woman.
Now I like the simplicity of that,we all have one life, and to spend it trying to satisfy others is fine if that is what one chooses to do,but once time is up, that’s pretty much it.I have dated both black and white men alike, and to tell you the truth if any of them were perfect, I’d still be in the relationships. I/R are fine,they are a very personal choice, that others should indeed respect, but entering one, solely because of the others’ race or to avoid past issues with one’s own race is a little bit unhealthy.Be in love, with whomever you choose, but please work out your problems with self(if they exist)first, to have a healthy relationship.
Peace and Love! first post.
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I like Sabina’s list! That’s nice and oh so true.
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@LittleLady54
How long did it take for your post to show up? I’ve been on here for a while now and they got you through quickly didn’t they? I know sometimes with URL’s included it’s difficult.
LOVE PEACE AND HAPPINESS……….
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Ooops, I forgot to mention: I wholeheartedly agree with your post!
*smooches*
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Why is everyone in the blogs telling everybody how they should feel? Some say you should like ir and others say you should not. Whose to care? People putting their opinions on others as if they opinion is the right one.
Stupid if you ask me. not inteligence but stupid.
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@snickers38- Bravo! I totally agree with you.
Labeling all black men as “undesirables and having “nothing going for themselves” is unfair, and somewhat sad. Some of my best relationships have been with black men.
My decision to date other races, is just that, my decision.
Those pretending to be an authority on why we date the men/women we find attractive to us personally, is venturing into dangerous territory.
As a rule of dating, and (not just interracially), we tend to veer toward personal preference.
It’s somewhat moronic to date people that you have no attraction to anyway. To all my sistahs that are so quick to throw a brother under the bus, watch yourself, when you make broad disparaging remarks about all black men, let us not forget from whence we came.
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Personally i think that you should be able to date whom ever you want. You cant help who you like or fall in love with but if you are not dating a certain type mainly because of past experiences and or generalizations thats where i draw the line. You havent dates all black men so you cant say that all of us either dont know how to commit, we all are lazy good for nothing dead beat dads. Its not every black mans fault what you went thru with another black man. There are so many negative generalizations regarding black men so why arent there any good generalizations?
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Damn black women get out while u can, i have been reading this thread and i am so disgusted on how black men just cant stand up and be a leader for their women. The world is to big for this shit , black men are not the only men out their. When i started traveling i realize their is so many sister out their that got their shit together and married to succesful men. Ladies check out this blog as well. Black men with whitewomen is old news now. This is for small people with small minds. To all my sisthas even though we have odds againt us we will pull through this i already see it happening . I am currently in college and wont believe how many black women are dating outside their race, but this is not shown because the media do not want to promote that. I dont care about black men going out with white women please we have been there and done that all that left us with is a baby and a headache . My sistahs please don t feed into what some of this pee brain azz kissing uncle tom black men are saying. Remenber these are the same men that talk about you to white women about your unique features they are waste let them go to white women its better for us. We dont have a King that was snatch a long time ago.
Check this blog out my sistahs :http://interracialloveandspicebysara.blogspot.com/
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And the generalizations just keep on coming. Why is it always Black Men this or Black men that? Why cant it be some Black Men this or Some Black Men that?
Lets keep it real, true Some Black Men dating white women is old news but Some Black Women dating white men is old news as well.
I said in my other post that it doesnt matter to me who is in a relationship with who but when you stay away from a certain race of man because of stupid, ignorant generalizations thats what bothers me.
Personally i have 2 successful businesses, most if not all of my black friends are successful in their own rights and we all treat our women like women are supposed to be treated.
So the negative generalizations dont count for my friends and I. The messed up part of this world is that my opinion really doesnt count because people are going to think what they want to think regardless.
There are negative generalizations and stereotypes of all races of men and women but I for one dont judge my relationships or potential relationships by them.
DO YOU???
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Sorry for the grammer errors was typing fast and late. Chat later
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@ Hi Jenna, Whats up just dropping through its been awhile.
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Reading the anger from these black men on here is heart breaking.
The hate needs to end. People are entitled to their own opinions. We ought to be allowed to love whom we choose, no matter the race. Unfortunately as long as we live in America this will be an issue.
I have found that bashing is not going to help heal our race. As a black woman who does love her black men, I have to support their growth and development. However, by choosing to date outside of my race does not make me a sell out either.
God put many colors on this earth and who is to say whom we should or should not love, make babies with, have sex with? This goes for black men and women. Who cares. America cares. That just further divides us. We have to heal people. Until we are ready as a race to put aside the hurt and the deeper racial issues we have then our choices when not in favor of the majority will be scrutinized.
I find men of other cultures fascinating, I am attracted to all colors, races and spiritual backgrounds. Life to me is to be explored, not set in a box according to any races standards.
There is someone for everyone and not everyone is the same.
The brotha that is very angry, (one of em) said that white men are not marrying black women, he is misguided as many white men are beginning to marry black women. Wait until the 2010 census reports come in. Let’s flip it. Not many black men are marrying ANYONE! They are just making babies and not that many with black women, you fill in the blanks. It is what it is.
Black women for once are stretching their wings and breaking the mold in out molded black community thinking. The world has gone global, its no longer in our back yard. Its time we expand like our brotha’s have and experience the world in all of its flavors. This is not to say this is a “tit for tat”, its something that can allow us to grow. Not all black women are suffering from low self worth, are delusional or suffer from self hatred because they are making these choices either. We should be allowed to love whom we choose and to feel the love we need in return.
I have never resonated with black boys/men. I was pressured into dating black men, from having suffered from confusion about myself very young. I dated white boys and LOVED IT. I resonated with their energy as people. Black boys, I did not. Now having a child, been married and divorced. I have realized that I do not resonate with black men and desire to explore again. I am 39 years of age, look 27 and feel young and vibrant. I am ready to travel the world and to be who I am, not who others expect me to be according to their own rhetoric.
Black women deserve what we put out into the universe and for those who have their heads on straight, hopefully she brings good things to the table, like a healed heart, good intentions, a powerful sense of self worth, self esteem and a positive outlook on LIFE IN general. Spirituality which I practice can be key to positive growth and development, religion if its her thing can be too.
Keep your heads up and know no matter what these ignorant, hateful, jealous, angry brotha’s spit at you, you DO YOU and get yours. You only have THIS life to live this time around, so live it to the fullest.
Blessings to all my powerful, free spirited, loving sista’s!
Moon
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I agree with everyone on blog that anyone should be able to date anyone they want to regardless of race. I have a question for Moon since I can’t ask privately. What is your spirituality or religion? Is it Wiccan by chance? You name and views correspond with the Wiccan religion. I am just curious.:-)
Joseph Moyer
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Hello Joseph!
No, I am not a Wiccan. I have studied Wicca a long time ago, I am a Global spiritualist. I believe in the universes power to heal all of humanity. I am a High Priestess of an African Tradition, A minister in spiritualist temple and a Shaman. I am striving for a Ph.D in spiritual divinity. I am preparing to go back to school and get a Ph.D in psychology to focus on marriage, family and child counseling. I have love of healing that resonates within.
I currently have a degree in early child development and have my own Preschool program. Why did I tell you all of this? Because contrary to what the angry black men will say to you, I have a love of PEOPLE no matter their race, religion or creed. I love helping individuals and others with a passion and strive to treat each person with loving kindness and just treatment.
Very perceptive of you to ask.
Many blessings to you.
Moon
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Thanks for answering my question Moon. You sound like a very cool and enlightened person. You seem to have found real peace in life and I would be the last person to ever criticize. I admire you a lot.:-)
Sincerely,
Joseph Moyer
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Why thank you Joseph!
I find your words endearing. Although hardly enlightened I am doing a lot of soul work this life time.
May I ask if you are Wiccan?
Moon
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Hey Moon, maybe you can help bring peace to kittytap who seems to have a lot of anger and hatred in her and I doubt she is at peace. I feel sorry for her and hope you can help her out. She doesn’t have a profile either and I wonder why she is so off topic by bringing up somebody that doesn’t even exist on this blog, this Queens person whoever he was. I will pray for both of them and you can send them positive love and energy and maybe they will both be at peace and happy. I here Shamans have a lot of power so if anyone could do it, you could. She definitely needs spiritual healing. I admire your ambitions and hope that all of them come true. I do pastoral marriage and premarital counseling and with the divorce rate and single mother rate so high, we could use all the help we could get especially from such a gifted individual as yourself, to help heal relationship and make sure that healthy ones are started in the first place. And I never heard anything bad about you from black men but maybe I didn’t read up far enough. But whatever anyone says. you are high quality and a good and gifted person in my book.:-)
May healing come.:-)
Joseph Moyer
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No. I am Christian Anabaptist. But I appreciate other religions and spiritualities and I have studied many of them from all over the world. I have great respect for Shamans and you seem to be a good one.:-) Great to know you.:-)
Joseph Moyer
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Hey Stupidity is a Disease… i was wondering if you could be a little more specific as to which black men you are talking about that are being negative.
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Ahhh Joseph.
Thank you so much for your kind words.
I meant by the angry black men on the board in general. Actually I have not had any negative black lash but was bracing myself for any that may have come my way.
As far as healing, I have to say that the idea you have about healing is great. However, in sending healing energy to individuals who are as angry as these are, it usually just bounces back. I can take it back, it feels good. Understand, I am sure you do already, that when others are not open to healing they reject anything that penetrates their current mind set and physical aura, which is why it bounces back in the first place. The person who desires to feel God’s light and to heal old wounds, has to acknowledge that they need it. That they want it. If not it doesn’t work.
You know what I am speaking about, with your pastoral ministry and counsel, if the couple, or single parent does not acknowledge their need, it won’t work. There is a certain amount of humility that needs to be present for their souls to fully embrace the gift of actualization.
I just ask the creator to continue to work with them, to soften them, when the time is right they can be softened.
Thank you for your sharing and amazing insights.
Your seem like a gift to your community. I encourage you to keep your faith as your strength and to continue to make a difference.
Bless you!
Moon
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@Snickers38
I was not speaking of you. I have read your posts and they seem very cool, intelligent, articulate and to the point.
I was reading through all of the posts and I am speaking about the angry individuals who were spouting all negativity through out.
I thought when I posted they were really going to jump me and attempt to read me! But alas, it has been quiet.
Thankfully!
Moon
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You are right Moon. Unless they are receptive, it is a waste of time. I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part.;-) But I think you have a gift for that kind of thing and people will be more receptive than they are to me, many times, so I hope you can reach those who are receptive that I would just turn off by being who I am. Don’t worry because I draw much more hatred than you ever will because I am a white man on a site with mostly African-American women. Plus I don’t know how anyone could attack someone as kind and loving as you.:-) And I am not just complimenting you casually. You are a rare find and I truly wish more women were like you. And I just call it as I perceive it so there are know ulterior motives in my compliments other than pure appreciation of something special that I virtually never come across especially on this website. Bottom line with total honesty, you are greatly appreciated by me and you do much to heal my spirit and soul. Thanks for being you.:-)
Sincerely,
Joseph
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Wow…
I graciously accept your words of kindness and act of integrity. You are very real with your sharing.
We all have different energy and whether we realize it or not we are all here for a purpose, just as we serve a purpose.
we are not made to be the same and believe me, as a human being you have a part to play for good. Not for ill.
Your words I am hearing a lot lately. I find it remarkable when someone can feel my aura and call it as it is. That is a powerful intuitive gift you have there.
I humbly say “Thank you!”
Moon
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Thank you. I just wish others would see I am not here for their ill.;-)
And I bet our auras match a great deal. I have been told that as far as colors, there are red, white and blue(not the American flag) but I would bet yours is really dark blue like I have been told my those who are sensitive to auras have told me. Auras can only be described with synethesia, translating one sense into another like the sound of a sunset or the color of beautiful music. I really wish I could perceive your aura totally because I bet it is like a swirl of beautiful colors that are constantly moving and twirling in and out of themselves or like a beautiful concerto with rhythms and harmonies and sub-harmonies intertwining in a beautiful masterpiece.:-) But like you said, it is something that you feel and I am just using synethesia to describe as best as my feeble wording can. I never get to say that to anyone for two reasons. One, few people understand what in the world I am talking about especially when it comes to auras and two, most of the auras I read in person make me sad because they aren’t very pleasant to perceive. So thank you for giving me the opportunity to express myself to someone who understands and has a wonderful aura.:-) Thanks for being you.:-)
Sincerely,
Joseph Moyer
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Well thank you for understanding where i am coming from. Like i said its doesnt bother me who dates who but when its done for the wrong reason thats when it becomes an issue with me. I just wish that people would do things for the right reasons.
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No problem. Just being honest and calling it as I see.:-)
Joseph Moyer
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I admit it. I am a white man. I want a female love, white, Hispanic, Asian, or black. IM m3 if interested.
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You admit you are a white man? Oh no!! That could be fatal on some of these blogs unless they like your picture!!;-) Take it from one who knows first hand!!;-) Just teasing you bro.:-) Although I don’t think any pure Latino or Asians read this blog much. The African American sisters will let you go if you post a good picture and/or don’t act too intelligent.;-)(they like to be smarter than you;-) Seriously though good luck.:-) If you are lucky, you will find someone like stupidity is a disease otherwise known as Moon. She is a fantastic person.:-) I don’t want to embarrass her too much though or else she will be too embarrassed by my comments to blog any more and I want to hear what she has to say on things.:-) Even worse, they may accuse her of really being me and just making her up to have someone agree with me!!;-) I don’t want her to suffer that fate!!!;-) Anyway, good luck m3. I hope you fare well.(Is that how you spell it? I am not trying to say farewell but fair well or do well? Sorry if that is a spelling error.)
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And moon, I really am sorry if I embarrassed you. Just being honest and calling it as I perceive it. Not trying to make you feel uncomfortable at all or pick you up. I don’t want this blog to turn into a pickup spot because I never use blogs to try and pick anyone up. I just like the discourse, not here for the intercourse!!;-D
Sincerely,
Joseph
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LMAO…
Joseph.. Your fine. I am not embarrassed.
Your fine.
You have a sweet spirit.
I do not feel as though you are trying to “pick me up”,
Your cool
Peace and love
Moon
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Thanks Moon.:-) You are the best!!:-) After all, this is a dating site and almost everyone on here seems to give compliments for baser reasons rather than just really appreciating a person honestly for who they are without any hidden agendas. But you know I am just an honest goof at heart that says too much that often gets himself into trouble for doing so.;-) I can still look up to you and wish other women were like you can’t I?:-)
Joseph Moyer
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LOL..
Sure you can. Who am I to stop you?
Others are benefit as well, each woman brings her magic, gifts, and light.
Mine is connected to my soul energy, another woman can have other attributes or different ones that make shine like a divine star she is.
But like I said who am I to stop you if its all light and laughter.
Moon
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Cool.:-)
Joseph Moyer
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Im a white guy that feels you should be able to date or be with whom ever you want to be with. my high school sweetheart was a beautiful black girl from a very nice family that lived just up the block from me she was a year younger than I but we went to the same school hung out with the same friends etc. it was the 1970s and things were diffrent back then but we just clicked as ” people ” we had similar interests likes dislikes and our personalities just meshed together well and we were friends for years long before that night after rollerskating when we had our first kiss {I was 15 years old} some white guys gave me crap about it once in a while and some black guys teased her and called her oreo cookie and tried to make her feel bad for being with me { I think they were just jealous because she was very attractive} our families were a little uneasy about us at first but they accepted us because they knew it was what we both wanted. To us it wasnt about skin color it was about her and I and us together she was my first real love & we stayed together all thru high school and a little after that. My thought about the whole race thing is if you dont mind it dont matter, even as kids we were able to see past race and become friends and later a whole lot more .
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Right on brother.:-)
Joseph Moyer
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It’s preference not racism!
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the reason i date white women is because all black women say black men disrepect them and all this bullcrap. when i know white guy that beat the hell out of their black girlfriends. and i do nothing about because im tired of black men being labeled. besides the one time i got into a fight with my friend for hitting her she just went back to him so whats the point of breaking up my friendship when shes going to run back to him.
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well im a 21 yr old black man, and i have never once thought about hurting a black woman or woman of any color for that matter because my mom was abused on a daily basis when i was a child.By a white and a black man. so i have no stereotypes against anybody.the white man who was just about to be my stepdad left one night with my mom and they said they would be back in a bit. an hour later my grandmother was at the door crying because he had stabbed my mom in the stomach for talking back to him. the black man she dated would just abuse her everyday.sorry for the long story but my point is im a black man and i would never hurt a woman of any race. i love black women but alot of the comments i have read from some of you women makes me somewhat afraid to enter a relationship with a black woman now.
thanks, i guess
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saying that i guess i have to date outside of race because you women are making me think alot. i just wonder if every black woman thinks black men are angry, ghetto, etc. i have never labeled a black woman anything, i dont see how any of you could. by the way i commented because i support IR relationships. i never really wanted to date outside of my race because i love black women and felt the need to give a black woman anything she desires. but if a female of another race were interested in me and i was interested in her i would give it a chance. this is my last comment because im a black man who doesnt want to be insulted by women of my own color.
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im a white guy who is married to a beutiful black woman. i have a black friend who i have known since we were kids, and he is the nicest guy i know but black women wont date him because they think he’s just like another black man they’ve dated befoe. one time my wife invited over her friends whom are black and i tried to hook one of them up with my friend. the ladys started picking on my friend talking about how his family is from the ghetto and all this bullcrap which made my friends self-esteem very low to the point he didnt want to talk to any woman. my wife kicked her friends out of our house and hasnt spoken to them since neither have i spoken to my friend.i dont know where he’s at and im very worried about him.
trevor2010 i think you have the best comment on this whole page. you and joseph
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I just think they’re hot. And most I’ve met think I’m hot, too. That’s all there is to it.
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I totally agree. We are all one race and we should marry whomever we want to no matter what your race is. We should take each person as an individual and not a race. Just make sure you are psychologically, spiritually, and compatible in life goals and interests. Sharing of interests and goals and having temperaments that compliment each other are the most important thing to a healthy marriage and long term relationship, not what race you are. We are all indeed one race made up of different individuals who think different ways and have different baggage and that should be what is of concern and dealt with, not what race you are.
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I’m a 48 year old bi-racial woman (black mother/white father) who has dated across the board (Ethiopian, white guy from UK, married 24 years to a Latino) and I loved them all. So this is nothing new to me. My only comment is what are all these racist attitudes doing on an interracial dating site? Why can’t we have an intelligent conversation without being indignant? Why must we denigrate each other with such cruel comments? These are attitudes I would have expected when my mom and pops were getting it on (1960s North Carolina). This is 2010 people WAKE UP, WE’RE ALL OF ONE RACE – THE HUMAN RACE!!
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I think certain willful females that are fickle in their relationships and are spoiled should be sent to the middle Eastern Muslim countries to see how good they have it with American men. Give them a year there and their attitude would change drastically and they wouldn’t be so quick to take American men of any race for granted when they see how bad the Muslim women in the Middle East have it!!;-)
Joseph Moyer
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I think it would be interesting to see if the interracial dating/marrying characteristic of the young people in America changed as they got older. I see alot more black women dating/marrying outside their race when they are younger, but once they get to their middle 30′s to early 40′s they either settle down with a black man, or, choose to be single the rest of their lives. I think what happens is that when they were young, they had a few bad experiences with black men (or only had good experiences with white men), and then begin to generalize. After several years of experience sets in, their mindset changes and they realize that the grass isnt really any greener on the other side of the fence. In fact, there are undesireable weeds everywhere, you just need to be careful what you pick (make sure it isnt a weed).
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I Choose to date outside my race… why because it is my CHOICE !! this is still America…
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It varies from person to person! there is no “right answer” the topic is completely subjective. I am not physically attracted to black men (but occasionally one does catch my fancy)….I grew up around white people I like their sense of human, physical appearance, and general character. Bottom line, do what you want. Go with how you feel. This is not the 1800s. no one will get hurt.
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That is the law of attraction due to association. You have had positive experiences with white people so you are naturally attracted to them. That is the same why I am towards Asian people. So go with the association if it is the easiest thing to do. It is a very natural way to be attracted to an ethnic group. No harm in that.
Joseph Moyer
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I have heard the reasons, mutual physical attraction, growing up around them, and the women are just young, on this blog for why some black women only date white men. What does growing up around them have to do with preferring them like their sense of human? What makes them better than any other race? Are there any other people with opinions out there that could answer this question because I would like to learn more. What other reasons could there be? i honestly would like to know because I am ignorant on the subject.
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