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White men are least attracted to Black women?

Posted by James, 18 Sep

...gender is one of the determining factors of interracial dating trends. Caucasian females are least likely to date Asian men, whilst white males in the U.S tend to be least attracted to female African American's. - 'Interracial Dating Trends' by Matt Dating 

Much as it is just a generalization, most of us do agree that there are very few White women who date Asian men. And when we try finding the reason for this, stereotypes and more stereotypes is all we dig up. But let's look into the Black women White men interracial relationships: is attraction the reason why there are relatively fewer White men dating Black women? Really?

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409 responses to "White men are least attracted to Black women?"

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  1.   KuroOnna88 says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 11

    First, let me say that the social stigmas have not reached everyone in it's massive stupidity, but I do fear for the younger generation (my generation) that has been poisoned by their parents ideals, and they fear what kind of hell society as a whole may rain upon them if they do not act accordingly. I am a young black woman, and I'm 22 (nearly 23). I was raised to judge by the content of one's character, not the color of their skin (gotta love that Dr. King). I am open-minded, honest, and probably not quite what you'd expect, as I love many things about the world in general, not just what is happening in America, or with other black people, as a certain stereotype might suggest. I find this argument about white guys loving black girls but hiding behind cowardice and social stigmas and stereotypes to be tired. Firstly, I would like to point out that the term 'racism' is invalid, because WE ARE ALL THE SAME DAMN RACE. I mean honestly, sure our melanin content is different, and we have different hair types, but other than that, there are no differences. It is, through DNA, impossible to tell a black man from a white one, or a chinese one. The fact that people are just now wising up to this, something that, as a child, I could see clearly and solve quite quickly, it worries me a little. For all of our intelligence, to not question things that are considered 'normal' when there are obvious problems, or to just shove them to the back of your mind when you know it really bothers you, well, it's ridiculous. I hide behind nothing. Yes I'm Black. So what? That doesn't define me. I think men of all colors quite handsome. But in particular, I love Asian and White men. They are aesthetically pleasing to my eyes. And yes, I'm seen as a traitor because of it. But you know what? It doesn't matter what they think, because it has nothing to do with them. If people want to waste their breath talking about someone they don't even know, then let them. It bothers me none. And it shouldn't bother any of you either. Plain and simple. Love who you want. It's not hurting anyone.

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  2.   arcangelcrow says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 10

    My Wife and I run web companies of our own and I myself run 12 self built social networks. I was going through Google looking for random stock images when I saw this article and I have this to say.....ARE YOU ALL ON CRACK?!!!! I am a 6.3 Irish Native American Sioux Crowe Indian who not only does not like white women; I AVOID them. Raised in Hotlanta all my Life I have been a cronic LOVER OF ASIANS, EBONYS, AND LATINAS (and of course mixed). I do not get everyone's B.S. deer in the headlights pop culture. Maybe it's because I am anti-freemason and have a hatred for Rockefellers; David in particular. Cause they are responsible for all the racial stuff. Prescott bush and Rockefeller funded Nazis going back to Rothchild buying up England after Neapolian lost at Waterloo. Typos. I'm in a hurry. For years I heard about the ego myth of size to a certain bunch of guys pushed by MTV and Hollywood. I get out to Cali what a big lie. Not that I didn't know it already bcause it's Native Americans who are actually renown for that. Look it up. I see mostly white girls with black guys. AWESOME! I think white girls are psycho. I don't get what the deal is with Asian guy insecurity. I have no beef with them. My late father was deep into Asian culture. I'm surprise that's not my mix. I have posted on boards on this subject a million times flooring critics. I am way too busy to play back n forth on this thread. That's why it seems I'm bouncing around. Here's the deal: prior to marriage: I FKN LOVE LOVE LOVE BLACK GIRLS. MY LUST WAS UNMEASURED. I have always been anti-establishment: (i.e. I political blog, Info Warrior, Tea Party BEFORE it was "in" to save the country from NWO, I Love Pearl Jam and Immortal Technique equally, used to Jay Z before he became a mason bitch; I am student of real history going back to Asia Minor and it shows in my own music I write). I think ANYONE who plays the race card of a critic is trying to cover or live in denial of their own short comings when it comes to mixed relationships-and jealousy. I Love the fact I see a lot of Asians, Ebonys, and Latinas with white guys even now. And my Wife and I smile about it occasionally. I always mutter under my breath; you better be treating them right, boy. Sorry. I'm telling it like it is. I am an elder when it comes to erotica with good and bad experiences. No bad experience with ethnic women ever. And never dated a blond and never will. I hate how they are portrayed by hollywood as the "template for beauty" or whatever. I almost cry short of my Aries fire igniting into rage when I hear of girls wishing they were white. WHY?!!!!!!! When our mother Eve or "Isha" was a hot Ebony. I fmy music was already big, not only would I be destroying masonic bull shit like lady gaga and jay z but I would be pushing a very aggressive pop culture counter campaign to make ethnic women the true beauty arch type. Bollywood bleaching their skin? WTF? I know I shouldn't say some of the things I said about white girls. It is after all feeding into the whole Rockefeller funded b.s. like say the movie Machete does. Yeah my former fav director sold out to demonize Mexican Loving Caucasians in the name of amnesty Obama is pushing which is worse than bush (AND I HATE HATE HATE BUSH AND HIS BOHEMIAN GROVE SKULL BITCHES) and of course Robert Rodriguez even accepted movie funding for the film direct from the Rockefeller foundation who has contributed to hurting his people for decades. Mexico is 5th poorest in the world yet has more Billionaires per capata than ANY other country including the U.S.? My point. Some people will even turn on their own. DON'T put your faith in obligations within your race. Many could say I do in the opposite direction, but I say no. Because, I am ATTRACTED to these groups of the most beautiful women on Earth. Out of All my girlfriends before Marriage, over 90% were Asian, black, or Latina. If I could clone myself I would be in a sea of black girls right now with Venus, the succubus of Aaliyah, Zoe;) , Regina King (ever since 227 when I was like 9), SADE SADE SADE. Hell, it would be mixed. My Wife (Viet/Chinese), Lucy Lu, Ziyi Zhang, ANGGUN ;), ok I'm ranting (and dreaming hahahaha). SO MANY to name. And idiots fawn over Megan Fox? Um. Ewwww? Ying Yang Twins video has NOTHING on my fantasies. Ok my point. Friday afternoon delerium. Don't worry; I'm just serious..... I am faithful. Lifelong. Maybe the reason is because ethic women know what they're doing. And besides, I'm the renaissance intellectual type (minus the fkn yuppie bull) who has written dozens of songs about this like Latin Spice, Deff By Chocolate, Violin, Elixxxir, Chynna Dawn, Enchantress Part 1 and 2, Mrs. Brown, and of course my fav Saigon Shangri~la. Instead of over ANAL-izing things, maybe you should go out there and talk to some gorgeous dark hotties. Just chillax and fkn do it. Maybe you wouldn't need this site if you did. It's the click. It's a vibe. And it's all about LOVE, LUST, DESIRE, OBSESSION, DEVOTION. Any idiot can be a playa. You satisfy THE SAME WOMAN OVER AND OVER, then talk to me. I have 2 gorgeous mixed children. I would die for my Wife. My musings above are true up to the doors of Marriage where they end. But I would clone myself just to prove it. And Love doing it. When you think to yourself; "Gee, I wonder what sour cream tastes like in bed......" Just remember: Brown taste spicy hot, Black tastes smooth rich chocolate dark, and YELLOW IS GOLD!!!!!!! ;)

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  3.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 11 Aug 10

    I do think the morality issue is totally fair as social scientists have long disproved statistically through studies the idea that you espouse of "cultural relativism" which is now considered outdated and inaccurate. And peace is not the answer for the criteria for a psychologically sounds society. Sociological and Psychological testing needs to be done in each society to determine its healthiness and the ones with the highest morals combined with the greatest tolerance towards differences in race, sex and everything else as long as it isn't lack of morality has been shown to be the most psychologically healthy societies. My ancestors were all pacifists and would rather die than start a war and that is how I am today living in their tradition. Plus they were non-materialistic and non-hedonistic and were very happy people when they weren't getting martyred. So remember that appearances can be deceiving unless studied further from a sociological and psychological perspective which many, many, papers were written on my ancestors as they were studied for their almost Utopian society. And they treated women as equals which was unusual for that time. The leaders also did menial tasks and didn't delegate those poorer to those tasks so their non-materialism made them happy and gave them nothing to fight over. Plus since the were happy with one wife and one husband and their morality prevented coveting another's wife or husband, they were happy with who they were married to. The concentrated their efforts on getting deeper into their morality, following it, and getting closer to their spouse and family for the believed you could never get close enough due to the complexity of human nature. Plus you have to be careful about isegesis when you talk about not judging others because it is talking about ultimate judgment but doesn't refer to accountability which they were very big on. They believed in confronting anyone who started to stray from good morality so that the seeds of evil wouldn't sprout into actions. But they confronted each other with love and kindness and through that method, it was easier to hold each other accountable because if good morality is maintained from the start and only a little nudging is involved, then it is much easier to bring someone back into alignment and harmony with the group. And they also respected the land and had no desire to rape it like we do today for our selfish and hedonistic and immediate gratification. Their lack of materialism and hard work ethic also helped plus if you are busy trying to get closer to your spouse and children all the time, it doesn't leave much extra time for immorality. Combine all these things in a moral society and you will have a happy society. And God created diversity of races and the two sexes which are also diverse as well as diversity of individual psychological makeup which led to a difference in cultures but He never created a difference in moralities. It was the free will of mankind and his natural sinful nature that caused differences in moralities and unfortunately religions and beliefs would crop up constructed by the leaders to rationalize their sin. God allows free will to all so if we come to Him, it is of our own free will. But as human beings with free will, we can choose to hold each other accountable morally the way God intended to and hopefully get ourselves back on track to true happiness. It is even more imperative with our complex culture tearing us all apart leading to goth and emo youth that have no moral anchor and rebel by embracing nihilism and hedonism. If they had some good moral rolemodels that weren't hypocrites but lived out 24 seven what they speak and hold each other accountable so they can live it out consistently, then maybe our youth won't be so lost and actually grow up happy with purpose and meaning. Social scientists are very worried about the studies that they have conducted in the United States and the rest of the world influenced by the United States. They see more and more mental illness and domestic violence that would exist even if there was no was because of the lack of moral structure and fiber in our country that isn't riddled with hypocrisy. It is a hard road to travel in the middle because if you go one way and try to be too moral without accountability, then you risk almost certain hypocrisy which is bad. And if you go the other way and just allow hedonism and materialism to run rampant, then there is nothing to stabilize our society and give it united guidance and harmony and it tends to disintegrate as we all only care about ourselves which decreases social stability as our large group of society looses all its synergy as group dynamics struggles back to its first law which is "group maintenance is prepotent" and there is no energy left for anything else of real importance for our society to be able to achieve as a whole and hence we crumble. The middle way is the hardest but it the best both psychological and sociologically and some argue, even spiritually. Joseph Moyer

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  4.   JohnnyBadBoy says:
    Posted: 11 Aug 10

    I don't think the morality issue is completely fair. It assumes the superiority of a culture, as all religions have, at least in the last couple thousand years, originated in a particular culture. That they spread into others, has often been the result of conflict or the destruction of the cradle of one of the cultures. When the absorption is not whole, we have sects. Their are cultures in Brazil where the women have multiple husbands(I believe it is a bit more wide spread). My point? They appear to live in peace. They don't commit genocide, carry out massive wars, and have live in harmony with the Creation for at least several thousand years. A surplus of marriageable males is a strong indicator of a non-violent society, just as a surplus of females is usually an indication of more warlike societies, the fewer males, the more wars.(I am not forgetting about the Amazons, who after more than two millennium of being considered mythological, now appear to have lived in the region near the Black sea.) I guess what I would like to say is, "judge not least ye be judged." Diversity exists for a reason. Since God created diversity, who am I to condemn it?

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  5.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    Okayitjustme, it is hard for some of us who are really into our religion to separate them from our views because they are the center of our entire lives especially if you graduated from Seminary like I have. But if you prefer, we can just substitute "moral" for religious talk and keep it more neutral. So to throw out a suggestion on topic, maybe white men don't find black women as attractive because of many African American women's(not referring to African females) lack of morality as evidenced by their single parent rate and emphasis on materialism as apposed to some of the other races? Just a suggestion based on statistical data. Again speaking in generalities as that what statistics do so not targeting the exceptions. Just reading the statistical trends and quoting statistics. If anyone has a problem with the suggestion, they should argue with the people who did the studies, not with me because I am just saying what I read in the studies. Joseph Moyer

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  6.   OKITSJUSTME says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    Certainly didn't want my wording to have any negative impact on the religious dialog of past. Just feel that it caused a "swaying off" the track of multi-cultural relationships and experiences. The passion and sexual element can not be dismissed. However, it truly is the leaning experience that grows from there that puts the real test on longevity and genuine love for the one you're with. The needs mature over time. You are sharing with a woman, not a black woman or a green woman, just a wonderful woman who has as much to offer as you. Your heart has to want it.

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  7.   OKITSJUSTME says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    My initial reaction to the few comments written on this subject was “It’s nice to see it brought out in the open”. I realized after further reading that it was graduating into a diatribe of sorts. When religion stepped in I sensed a disappointing shift away from the central theme. Call it a distorted metamorphosis. I have no desire or intention to merge into a debate over doctrinal debates and frankly feel those views should be posted separate and apart from what was intended here. There also seems to be a harsh critiquing of some of the comments. What is to gain from dissecting every word in hopes of finding flaw or fault? There will be an exception to virtually everything in life. My general comment that black women are “fulfilling” was just that “general”. I am of presence of mind to discern the distinctions from one human to another regardless of color. I had hoped to simply read the experiences of those who have enjoyed (or perhaps not enjoyed) their interracial relationships. I remain to this day good friend with an American Black woman, whom I was with for 9 years with no different than husband and wife. We have not “lived together for the last 2 years. No matter (and without all the details) I will stop over cook a dinner for her and her older son, chat about what is going on and all is fine. Would have been more stimulating to see the interracial topic keep its continuity. Watched a wonderful movie last night on the subject, “Somebody New”. Great movie.

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  8.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    Hey OKITSJUSTME. I am glad you find them so fulfilling although I would like to bring up two opinions. 1.Everyone is an individual so it is hard to generalize that women of color are all the same and all of them are fulfilling and it varies on who you are asking and who has had what experiences with them. 2.I always distinguish between African-American women and African women because I think generally speaking, because of their history of slavery in the United States and what the white man did to mess up their society, African-American woman have a lot more problems psychologically than white women who were never subjected to that cruelty. While African women I have known have been generally much more psychologically sound since they haven't had to suffer slavery or the temptations of our hedonistic society. I have known many African women in the past and have been impressed by them in general and on this website, we have on one of the blogs an African Shaman named Moon that has an excellent outlook on life and is a very impressive person and woman. So I don't think it is fair to lump the two groups together since they are both women of color. And everything above is generalities, not absolutes as there are exceptions to every rule. And 2009 is awhile ago so I don't know if that individual is even around as many people come and go especially in one year.;-) Joseph Moyer

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  9.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 10 Aug 10

    Thanks for the history lesson. I think it is interesting for everyone. I am curious though if you read Martyr's Mirror because it brings history and Christian sacrifice to a whole new level and really strikes home with its graphic descriptions that are worse than any of the horror films I love to watch because they actually happened to innocent people. If you haven't read it, you should read it because it is different than just learning about it historically from other sources. It has such detail and how much love those martyred had for their torturers and executioners because of their Christianity. And I agree that things on this site should be of inspiration and not war. And I can't help but walk in peace because I am a Pacifist because of being Anabaptist.;-) It is a shame you can't teach History anymore because I bet you were an awesome teacher.:-) Regards, Joseph Moyer

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  10.   OKITSJUSTME says:
    Posted: 09 Aug 10

    It would be a pleasant contribution to see more of: Comment by Faeydust on 11 October 2009

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  11.   OKITSJUSTME says:
    Posted: 09 Aug 10

    WOW! I am not one to take time and read about these subject (debates?), but this truly grabbed my interest. So much to digress back on all that has been shared and will need time to read. Really fascinating to say the least. I don't do 'facebook', twitter, or for that matter any of the social inter netting. Women of color? How can you NOT find them so fulfilling? Thats for another entry. Must read all before me.

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  12.   JohnnyBadBoy says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Am familiar with Anabaptist, Cathir, Arian,and dozens of other mass murders committed by the Roman Church. Protestant Churches also for the most part have nothing to brag about. There have always been rather small(in numerical terms, compared with what is seen by most as the mainstream Christianity)Moravians,and other none violent Christian groups, and even Christian groups that go back to the 2nd century,at the latest Anno Dominum, who accept Jesus as the most important Prophet, but,maintain no human can be God. I am well aware of what happened to the Anabaptists, whether in Czarist Russia or elsewhere. As for me, I am blacklisted from teaching history, because I don't pull punches. Sometimes I found things out about groups always assumed to be victims so terrible, that I verified the information, and sealed my lips, not wishing to add more reasons for violence in the world. I also regard science as a religion, or rather as a group of competing religions, as they meet the litmus test whether they protest or not. My point was, as I assume you rightly saw, enough is enough. Let us stop labeling everyone. In prior times, race referred to what we now call ethnic groups, or even tribes. I think their thinking far more advanced than our society's. As for the scum remark, I guess I was not clear enough. Although it is on very rare occasions, possible to become rich without hurting others, that is almost too rare to count. Recently, Gates got Buffet to agree to give away most of his money. Even if this group,now about 40 or 60 billionaires do such a thing, it is in the making that they prolong evil. That people must choose between medicine or food or heat is a crime against humanity... so too, the urging of people to have huge families they can in no way support, and that diminish the right of God's other created things to be or to live. It is blasphemy to destroy the plant searching for wealth. We, as responsible regents, as most religions claim as a right for humans, need to reduce our numbers. This does not have to mean abortions or abstinence. My wife and I prayed for and received two children, a number that will actually reduce population if all would stick to it. There are plants that God gave, as well as other forms of natural birth control that work, but, are not allowed to be taught because some people claim that God has given them the date for an event that would make human population control needless. I find that blasphemous. As for my being on this "channel", I joined this group because I understand that the mixing of ethic groups is healthy, both mentally and physically. What is sad, is what so many mixed blood children and adults have to go through. I was shocked at first to find so much hatred at this site. I had hoped that it was much more advanced than the greater part of the world's population. I suppose that some of these debates are needed, though I always wish for more honesty(reflecting on no individual at this point)and a great deal more deeper thought. Bless you all. Let us make of this site and inspiration, not a war ground. May you walk in peace.

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  13.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 07 Aug 10

    Like I said before, I am not a mainstream Christian. If you want to understand my views, read books on Anabaptism which spawned the Amish, Mennonites, Quakers, and Brethren in Christ. Anabaptists are different in their view of Christianity than any other Christian view. So read those books and read Martyr's Mirror and then you can argue MY religion with me. Otherwise you have me totally confused with other Christians. So I can't defend Christianity as a whole. After you have read all that and understand me and my religion offends you, then I won't bring it up again in any blogs. It is the center of my life and views so it is hard not to incorporate it into the blog topic. Maybe it would be better if I do bring in Christianity, that I say my denomination of Christianity so you don't think I represent Christianity as a whole. Thank you kindly for any consideration. Joseph Moyer

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  14.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 07 Aug 10

    Your post is full of insults and yet you claim you are not attacking me? If you are really interested, why don't you ask me privately? And I have seen people's faith making them better people that people without faith countless times. Nathan and his wife Pamela who have a church in Richmond that I attended. They were also black. Also in Baltimore, Pastor Jackson who ran an all Black Presbyterian church. Tim Bentch who is an opera singer and missionary in Russia with his family. Shin-Mai and her husband who is a Pastor, Hsue-eh and their family. They are Taiwanese. I have known people all over the world and locally. I have seen countless individuals. But this is moot because you really don't want to know. You are just a hater towards me and I wish you would kindly stay on topic and leave me alone. Thank you kindly. Joseph Moyer

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  15.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 07 Aug 10

    lol.....still at it I see. "Faith" HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "GOODNESS". Many a "cross-burner" has held the Bible higher than most. If you think you know so much about history then it really shouldn't be a debate here. People, "good" and "bad" have done things in the name of religion.....some of those actions have resulted in "righteous" AND "evil" outcomes. The reason I use so many quotation marks is it is all relative and subjective here. What one deems as "moral" I am sure another will find fault. I ask you again, (as I did in post that were CONVENIENTLY removed).....what if the so-called Christian (WHATEVER THE DENOMINATION) was eating babies in his/her basement???? And would this person be seen as "better" than an Agnostic/Atheist that gives time and money to charities that SAVES THOSE BABIES???? I really think there is a time and place for everything...and the fact that you see fit to bring religion/Christianity into every blog thread here speaks volumes. Telling someone that they have to read 3 (NOT 1, but THREE...LOL) books before they respond to you is ridiculous. Where do you get off telling people when, where or how they can repsond to you. Your narcissism knows no bounds, huh.....lol. I mean you write your post as if you SERIOUSLY expect this person to take you so seriously as to invest time reading books that are no doubt skewed to your point of view before they "respond" to you.....DUDE!!!! GET OVER YOURSELF HERE. Even if the person is a student of history this is not necessarily a blog that speaks to all that (ESPECIALLY THE RELIGIOUS aspect of what you are shoving down our throats...and YES, as this is NOT a religious board, YOU ARE SHOVING IT). You sidestepped his question/point ("I will never understand why anyone in this day and age can say that someone’s faith has to do with whether they are good or bad.") but I will pose it again. Where have you seen in YOUR OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCE an example of someone's faith SINGULARLY making them a better person than one who does not have a particular faith?????? Peace PEOPLE tatted2death P.S. Before you even start that madness again, YOU AND I BOTH know that I AM NOT ATTACKING YOU. I am simply asking a general question that DOES NOT require anyone running to any book......THIS IS ABOUT CURRENT, PERSONAL EXPERIENCE......PERIOD.

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  16.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 10

    And oh, if you really want to argue religion, there is a guy on another blog that was not thrilled when I supported Obama. He is a big Glen Beck fan who is a fundamental Christian speaker. You would get a better argument from him on faith and goodness than from me if you want a mainstream view because I am Mennonite and not considered a mainstream Christian religion.;-) I think it was a blog on how white men are attracted more to black women or something. That would be interesting to see you two people hash out the faith issue since like I said, I don't represent mainstream Christianity. Joseph Moyer

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  17.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 10

    As for the south, I spent 12 years down there and I am simply stating what I observed from a psychological perspective. But I do like you history lesson because it shows how you really can't label anyone and that is they way it should be. Everyone should be taken as an individual. My only point being as far as calling some individuals horny rednecks, I have talked to many people of all races when I was down there that weren't white and/or were from all around the world and they seemed to concur that there was truth in the stereotypes of horny white rednecks. That is why movies such as Deliverance and the last part of Pulp Fiction strike such a chord in many of us because we have known a horny white redneck ourselves. Hell, when I was down there, I looked the part and fit in a little too well even though I didn't act horny. I was more accepted sadly down there than I am up north where I was born and raised and have come back to!! And as far as faith, mine heritage comes from the Anabaptists who were tortured and murdered for their faith during the Reformation by the Catholics and Martin Luther's followers. I you really love History so much, read the actual account of over a thousand Anabaptists that were tortured, men, women and children and martyred that is a book of pure fact and documented called Martyr's Mirror and tell me what you think then about faith not influencing goodness. It is a long read but well worth it and famous in my Christian tradition and agreed upon to be totally authentic even my non-Christians and people who are anti-Christian. THOSE were the truly good people and if we could live up to a mere fraction of their goodness and faith, then the problems of the world would pretty much go away. Read it first before you respond back as well as Will and Spirit and The Wounded Healer. When you read all three of those books, then get back to me if true faith makes a person good or bad. Martyr's Mirror is considered to be a historical book first and not a religious one because it simply states objectively those Anabaptists that the writer interviewed and what they said during their ordeal and then the tortures and death and all their death certificates have been validated for that time period. So like I said, if you love History so much and pride yourself on knowledge of it, you have to read this book to round yourself out because it is a unique one in what it reports. And I agree with you about the rich and the super rich but I believe they are the real scum in actuality. Joseph Moyer

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  18.   JohnnyBadBoy says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 10

    I will never understand why anyone in this day and age can say that someone's faith has to do with whether they are good or bad. Have we learned nothing. Does anyone read history, taking a balanced viewpoint these days. As for "horny redneck white guys", am I the only one that can see that it too is a racialist terminology. As for the statement, "The big cities are better in not being racist",are you sure you really want to say that. No matter where I have been on this place, it is a sad fact that race can easily become an issue. Go and try to marry a female anywhere, and you will find males who do not like it, basically because of your race. Not all, but, some. As I have stated on this site before, and I did do serious research on the topic, i.e. no internet, primary and secondary sources, heavy on the primary. Both the terms white and black, were brought into common usage,to aid a racist agenda. The origins are early 18th century,although,there is 17th century propaganda that foreshadows this. This ideology continues to this day. The division aimed at is people with(depended on area) 1/64th % African blood, to 1/16th % African blood. These people would be defined as "black". Ironically, to be an American Indian, it works the opposite way, encouraging inbreeding. One tribe asks for 2/3s. That is difficult, do the math. On the other hand, one of the longest blood feuds, the 'Scotia' and the 'Narmen', a battle that has lasted 1500 years is ignored, and the two groups are lumped together as 'white',in spite of the fact that apartheid laws were imposed upon the Scotia who tried to remain free, and lasted longer than the history of this country, colonies and all. Yet they are both white. Yet in the West Indies, the Scotia married Africans, both were used as slaves, and the Scotia were sentenced to slavery because of their race, not crimes. Again. Let us advance a bit, ridding ourselves of the terms, black,white,Hispanic,and people of color. The Kings of Portugal and Spain were both at one time considered Hispanic, yet controlled the slave trade in Africans, and the even deadlier(by documented percentages who died in less than two years)trade in North, South, and Central American Indians. They are still the underclass of the Americas, no matter what you hear about casinos.As for our notions about race, I don't know how much is willful ignorance, for there are benefits, even if they are only polemical, and the separation of the downtrodden, no matter what the hue of their skin, continues. I have always been attracted to women in every ethnic group I know, and I love it. There are beauties everywhere. Meanwhile, the rich, and the super rich sit in their clubs and laugh at how stupid and easy to fool we as a majority divided into minorities are. Wake up, we are all scum to those on top.

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  19.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 10

    I totally agree with you both that things are changing overall. Having gone to live down south for a number of years for school showed me that the south has some catching up to do!! The big cities are better in not being racist but the smaller towns are still highly resistant. When I worked at the abused children's home north of Phili, I was good friends with a black gentleman who worked with me and we became great friends. I was appalled when I heard his story though. He used to live in Tennessee and he was in a mostly redneck area that was white. The prettiest white girl in that town fell in love with him which is totally understandable because he was handsome, educated, charming, and had a heart of gold and was an outstanding Christian who truly lived his Christianity out. He was the only one who wasn't trying to have sex with her or try to get her pregnant before marriage unlike the horny redneck white guys!! They got married and he literally had to take his family and flee out of the state because they were jealous and going to lynch him. he moved up to PA and had a beautiful baby girl and they were a very happy well adjusted couple who had true love and morals. It was my honor to work with him and the last I heard as I left to go back to school was he moved up to a really high position in the Bethanna organiation(the name of the Children's home) and was doing quite well. That just brought tears to my eyes seeing how happy they were and how well they were all doing.:-) But I cringe when I see what he had to go through to be happy and move away from where he was born and I still see much racism in small southern white towns. And it wasn't just towards blacks but Latinos as well. I hope the entire country becomes as enlightened as your two statements above.:-) Joseph Moyer

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  20.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 06 Aug 10

    thank you cyrilg..... "…just acknowledge that white racism has been a fact (if not one of THE facts)of American history and accept its repercussions....not out of a sense of personal guilt but as something that increases your humanity." "......It doesn’t make you a bad person to accept an historical truth!" Those two statement alone stand as a proof to things truly changing.....anyone that doubts the ability of a "white man" to view things in a realistic manner would have to come up with something else after reading your post. Peace PEOPLE

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  21.   cyrilg says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 10

    It is obvious to me that the messages posted here by non-Americans reflect more balanced point of view. That may be because in their countries of origin therewas nothing like the terrible history of American racism. But for Black and White Americans it's different. Our real enemy is history, and the way to beat that enemy begins with an understanding of that fact. Racism is racism, and at this point I would be happy if even 5% of the American people embraced an Interracial future for America! Anyone foolish enough to believe that white men find black women least attractive deserves the negative thoughts that such belief plants in their heads. As that beautiful lady who quoted Plato on this site (I loved my ancient Greek philosophy class)seemed to be saying, "Get out of the cave!" It is simple for a white man who wants to marry a black woman...just acknowledge that white racism has been a fact (if not one of THE facts)of American history and accept its repercussions... not out of a sense of personal guilt but as something that increases your humanity and your ability to understand and maintain your relationship with the Black woman you love. It doesn't make you a bad person to accept an historical truth! Regarding those repercussions and the attempts of even the most loving IR couple to navigate in and through American society: that same IR couple can not only deal with it but even strengthen their love for each other because of it.

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  22.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 10

    very well said, Asleep

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  23.   Asleep says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 10

    Hmmmm... I would say stereotypes are the cause for so few black woman/white man relations. I believe most white men perceive black women as loud, chip on their shoulder, etc. I think most black women perceive white men as a push overs, little dicks, etc. Speaking as a white man, these stereotypes are not true, these stereotypes have not held true for any of the black women I have seen in the past, nor for the woman I am currently dating. Until notions and generalizations stop being perpetuated and people get smart... I dont think the statistics will show much of a change.

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  24.   jadaa says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 10

    I like your answer looking4life!!

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  25.   looking4life says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    ps ladies if you find a real man that loves you his color wont matter he will treat you like a queen everyday

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  26.   looking4life says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    karen you are a lucky lady i loved reading it but unfortunately i dont so much buy into some of the reasonings. especially some of the negative aspects, but i do believe its all about preference. some people think its about looks( which is controversial enough so i wont go there )and to someit is but it is all preferance. to those who can stand behind their choices like an adult but to those who cant is where you get your "secret desires" which i had for a long time until i grew up. unfortunately for me our black population over here i do not think is large enough for a club like that but if you ever here of one please let me know. and again it is nice to read about the positive stories for a change.

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  27.   Karen says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    I have been VERY VERY VERY happily married to a wonderful man from Sweden for 8 years. I am an African American woman. He said that when he was in his 20's he and his friends lived in an apartment building where one of the apartments was occupied by a black woman and a white man. He said that every time that he and or his friends saw her passing by they would melt, he thinks they all were in love with her, like she was a movie star or something. It was from her that he craved the beautiful dark skin that he says is so sexy on a woman. I absolutely adore this man as he adores me. I want for nothing. We have gone to Sweden to meet his friends and family, they were crazy about me. His friend's wife told me that she is so happy that he found someone so nice as he is such a kind man... I can go on and on. But I do like white men, just something I felt inside, my first husband was black because for some reason my family thought I was confused about my choice and I tried to pacify them. I was so miserable! As Woody Allen said, the heart wants what it wants. As for American white men. It is a fact that black woman on the whole do not like white men. Perhaps it came from the rapes during slavery and or the fact that we can exercise our free will and first thing is to despise the very thing that tortured us: WHITE MEN. SO WHITE MEN(AMERICAN I MEAN) shocked that any woman on earth as a whole does not think they are God's gift. And like men who are snubbed by certain women they turned it around and blacks and whites BELIEVE that crap that they are not interested in black women. Bull Pucky. White men have this secret desire for black women, but are terrified of rejection more than worrying about problems with society. One white man I dated said 95% of black women turn him down and 75% of them tell him about his white ass. But he said "I live for the 5%!" Look for clubs for black women and white men. That is where I got my Swedish prince.

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  28.   AnonymousWhiteGuy says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 10

    Unfortunately, you can never really trust statistics 100%, they are always going to be at least slightly slanted one way or another. I'm a white guy, and there are many black women I find myself attracted to. I find a sexy black woman way more attractive than a sexy white one. I also am more attracted to latino girls than white girls. I don't know what it is, I just don't dig the blonde/blue look and pale skin. If a white girl has brown eyes and dark hair and a darker complexion, then I might be interested. Besides looks, it's also the difference in culture that appeals to me. I find differences in ways and customs very intriguing. I think it's also partly the cultural identity. I'm a european mutt, and I find girls with stronger ties to their heritage very, very interesting and sexy.

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  29.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 10

    Umm, White is right.... Just what makes YOU think every other woman except your own wants you? Why are so many of them flocking to Black men? That's what you need to be focusing on. Get ta work on that right there, k?

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  30.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 10

    @ white is right : Thank you.. thank you for not dating black women. LOL!!!

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  31.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 10

    I do not care what othetr people do I do not date black women because they are black that means they have different veiws and beliefs and yes they have a different culture, no it is not juvenile to decide who you will date based on culture arabs asians muslims and jews do it all the time in some countries you are forbidden from dating outside your race. The color of eyes hair and skin are all a turn off for me. Some people use religion to decide who to date. The physical features of black women turn me off the nose and lipps coarse hair and generally they are too fat not to mention that as a race they are loud and rude they do a good job of faking manners but you always see them yelling at cops on tv why is that I am nurse and when I work night shift it is always the black nurses and aides who are talking the loudest disturbing pationts. the last thing that is a turn off is that as a race they think they are better or deserve special treament just because they are black they put a balck man in charge and he does not have the balls to do anything no one wants his healthcare except the welfare bums. of course he is only half black we know this because no black person would ever use the word responsability in is not in their third grade vocabularies I was born white and that is why I date white women who were born in the unioted states I have that right and no one should be able to tell me to do something different

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  32.   jabavar says:
    Posted: 14 May 10

    @Hannes Well, I guess we are talking about different things here. You talk of people who left there respective countries to seek a better life elsewhere -the term in German would be "Wirtschaftsfluechtling", which has no equivalent in the English language. For them to be used and abused in their country of origin is part of everyday life and that is what they expect from people and circumstances they meet anywhere in the world. (And reading your comments that is what they should expect, hence there reactions.) Nigeria is also a predominantly Muslim country and the status of women in general is rather abysmal. But that does not negate the point I am going to make since in the circles I meet Nigerians, or anyone for that matter, there is certainly no difference in appearance, look, or as you call it style and attitude. If anything these people outshine the others in most respects as far as grace, posture and style is concerned. I am talking about people (in this case women) of equal status to Europeans or Americans or wherever anyone might be from. A person with a university degree, who has traveled and is somewhat familiar with different cultures, in short, with some level of sophistication. (I am explaining this rather lengthy because, unfortunately for you, these are folks you will never meet or if, they would not give the likes of you a first, let alone a second look.) The second point you are making about having known black women for the last 20 years is rather a sad one. You mean to say that you used black underprivileged, in most cases perhaps desperate women for your pleasure and enjoyment. Knowing a person is something different altogether, at least in my books. AND the topic of discussion is "white men dating black women" not "sleeping with black women". How many of these black women you used would you have introduced as your girlfriend to your friends or family???

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  33.   Hannes72 says:
    Posted: 14 May 10

    @Jabavar believe me, I had black women since I am 17 and now I am 37. You think you know something about it because if the few you had. If you put an african black female and a black female who raised in Europe next to eachother, it will be no comperism in style and attitude. Of course there are some very beautiful ones in Africa but I was talking gernerally. If you line up 10 girls from Africa, at least 9 of them will totally differ from what a white european is after. Even my african friends (mostly nigerians) advice me - dont go with the nigerian women, you will never get love from them, papers and money is what they are after. As for my own experience, most of them are really how my friend said. My experience with black latinas are totally different. They know about dirty sex, and thats what they are after, if you look good you are in the game. If not, even money cannot bring you in. But of course, that are just my own experience. To come back to the point, usually I am not attracted to african women if they are fresh from africa.

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  34.   jabavar says:
    Posted: 13 May 10

    I just came across this blog and started to read..interesting how little some of the comments have to do with the topic and how intolerant others are. Well, I am white (grown in Europe) and lived most my professional life- 20odd years- outside of Europe in Asia, Africa, USA, Canada and on several Caribbean Islands. I lived, obviously, in black communities and have lived with black women. First and foremost I have to say:people are people,whoever they are; when it comes down to the basic needs we are all the same -we need clothe, shelter, food, company. Of course, that does not address the issue of why white man would or would not date black women, in "our" society that is. @Hannes,go to any African country and you will find as many extremely beautiful women as anywhere in the world. Your comment about black women of none African descent -contradictory in itself unless you talk about dark (black) Asian or Native Australian women- is childish and tells me that your are clueless about black women. I, for one, lived with an African woman for 4 years and only broke up because my assignment in the country came to an end and she did not want to leave her beautiful country (Tanzania); not even had I married her. (I had many other relationships with black women and ended up marrying and divorcing an Asian woman and am blessed with two beautiful, and racially speaking mixed, children.) Living on an Caribbean Island now and working in the Tourist industry, I am very happy to see that interracial couples are not the exception anymore. AND I bet my last penny that five or six generations from now we will not have this discussions any longer - we will all have become "interracials". Many countries are a bit further ahead: Jamaica's national slogan, for example, is "out of many one people" and on most other Island there is no one race anymore, it is all one big pot out of which people come, and skin colour does not play any significant role, especially not when it comes to dating.

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  35.   LauraKei says:
    Posted: 12 May 10

    Very interesting brawl I have stumbled across, here... However, my paltry two cents on the initial topic are rather simple. People are people are people. Attraction is unique, and influenced by both nature and nurture. My French mother and Nigerian father poorly prepared me for the racism I would encounter in the world, because it was such a non-issue in our home and family. So I was understandably confused, the first time a school-friend informed me that since I was mixed, I had the option to date white OR black men. It had never occurred to me before then that not everyone had the option. I assumed, in my sheltered naivete that we all had the choice to date whomever we wished, color aside, as a veritable non-issue. I find here, however, virtually the same discussion with (occasionally) more mature vocabulary. I have dated across the human spectrum, my only requirements a mutual attraction, sense of integrity and intelligence. The black men that approached me were typically well-dressed, well-educated, and well-spoken. Anyone initiating a sentence with "Damn, shawty," was shut down immediately. Thugs, no matter the race are a personal peeve of mine. However, the black men I dated expressed concern or (in one case) a flat refusal to introduce me to their families. My skin was too light. Of course, the opposite was also true. I live in the South, so it was more common for me to have tough experiences with the white men than any other. I find too often the whole, "I've never dated a BLACK GIRL before," experience equally disconcerting. I am a biracial female. I embrace BOTH cultures that I was raised in. I refuse to choose. But I fault no one, should he fail to find my biraciality attractive. I get that we each have random and quirky requirements that get that special "wow" factor when eying a potential mate.

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  36.   phatkitty says:
    Posted: 03 May 10

    Well, this is quite an interesting and informative topic to say the least. I just wanted to say to Triccinicci, you answered or should i say Clobbered "Mixi" in your response to his obvious ignorance. I think he is aother blk man finding a way to degrade yet again blk women of this country. As the younger generation would say now a days; He got OWNED!! Good Job. Welcome to the site by the way. Love reading your posts.

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  37.   Hannes72 says:
    Posted: 25 Apr 10

    I dont know why I have got an email-notification on that topic since I cannot remember that I have ever commented to this topic. Whatever, I read an interesting question I would like to answer: Question from Faerydust "That was very interesting reading. I wish there had been more responses from white men, on what they find attractive or unattractive about black women. We got much feed back from black women and black men, but very little from white men" Well, I just can speak for my self, I was attracted to black woman since I am attracted to women generally. I love the athletic shape, the big lips, the curvature, the way they smell and of course the dark tan. Altough my taste for black women changed through a bit, they are still my favorite. There are some asians and latinas I fancy too and I prefer "black-non african descent", but how I said - black is still my favorite and I cannot imagine to married to something else. I also got some friends who like than and usually if they like black, they are crazy for black as I am. That my be due to the fact that we have almost none here in Austria/Europe and if they are fresh from Africa and not really what white men are attracted too. Also the mentality and livestyle of the africans differs completly from the way we are. Hope that answer was helpfully.

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  38.   Member says:
    Posted: 24 Apr 10

    Dear Godiva I agree with you. I contribute to the madness, I must admit. Damn, young men dropping dead like that. Sometimes, blogging is just an entertainment. I call it reality entertainment. I actually think the blogs are more civilized than what you see on television. I saw the dateline "panel" talking about why professional black women can't find a good man. I watched a glimpse of it and it got really "heated". The thing that is interesting there is never no 'white men" there. How about their "input" on the panels. Personally, I think they do it for ratings and to see black people fight. I generally like the people here. Some people think I got vendettas. I just thought it was uncharacteristic of you to say that. Rick just hit a "nerve' with you for some reason. I don't know if it is "personal" with him or not. I just had a debate with some Mormons. It was pretty heated. They take to kindly to me not believe some of their scriptures. I stumped them with my questions. Why do they believe a flawed Joseph Smith is their prophet is beyond me. Godiva it is good to see a feisty side to you.

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  39.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    Queens, Rick is on here looking for a booty call only, and if that's what he wants, then so be it, however I did not appreciate the the fact that even in his so called looking for a date disguise, how he disrespected black women by saying white or hispanic first, but now that his true colors are showing(booty call), it's only black women that he's mentioning. Surely you of all people should understand why I responded to him. Why should he get a free pass for being disrespectful? He is no better than you, me, or any other black person here!! Yes Mr. Queens, you are right, there are plenty of times when both men and women have said things, and I let it go, I can't say you are lying about that, but I have my reason(s) for keeping silent. If you ever want to ask me directly why I respond or don't respond, you can ask me, okay. I know you think that I am weak because I refuse to get into this craziness here, but I'm not weak, but I'm also not a big talker, never have been. I have three sisters who yak, yak, all the time. I take after my father, who was laid back, the strong silent type. Truth be told Mr. Queens, it makes me sick to my stomach, and it saddens my spirit to hear and witness some of the comments and the behavior's here, especially the exchange between black people! We are so much more than what we portray and it's too many intelligent, and for the most part, good hearted people to behave in this manner, which is the main reason why I do stay silent. It used to be a time when we could talk to each other, and now more than ever we should try harder, everyday to get back on the right track for many reasons, and right now my mind is drifting to young black male that I had to bag and tag, the 6th one this month, so yeah the arguing over the silly things such as white men, is not a priority for me!!!!!!!! I do hope that you try and understand where I'm coming from. No, I didn't get up on the wrong side of the bed, everyday that I wake up, and my heart beats, I can see, I have a beautiful home, and a family that loves me, and so many people that I love and adore, and that includes you, I have no reason to be sour or complain about anything! I'm a nice person, I'll give you the shirt off my back, but even I have my limits, and Rick was way out of line! love godiva

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  40.   turnaround27 says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    Hey, Im Half WASP. IS that OK...lol

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  41.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    (Leaning back) Look at Godiva. Somebody here woke up on the wrong side of the bed. You make some good points. However, it is out of "character" for you to say this. I kind of hold you to a "higher standard" like most of the men in here do. You are correct that I said those thing. I just thought it was "unlike" you to lash out at this particular man. I really don't understand how Rick even got "under your skin". UNLESS, you know Rick personally. I have seen some things happen on the board. But I rarely see you "go off like this". I hear you on the man begging for company. However, how does that affect you? Plenty of men say things and "you let it go". Na, the end part of your post showed the old Godiva. I was just trying to figure out why Rick caught your wrath!

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  42.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    Queens, First off, I'm not sure as to why my comment towards Rick seems to have generated a response from you since you have said, many, many times, that you do not "go off" on people(black women) unless they say something deragatory about black men, or did you change the rules, yet again? Second, isn't it you who have also said many, many times, and I quote, "these sellout black women will let a white man say any and everything to them and never put these such white men in check", end of quote"? Third, Rick's job title is totally irrelevant to me!! I'm not impressed, nor am I intimidated about what he may or may not do for a living, just as I am not in awe or intimidated by any man that has a degree, another myth. There are some people here that may only have a high school diploma, some may just have a GED, some of us have not one, but two degrees, it's a great accomplishment but a degree just means that you were able to follow a higher education curriculum, met the requirements, and you received a degree, nothing more, nothing less! A degree, or a certain profession does not mean that a person holding such a degree, or a certian job is a person of integrity, or honor or a person that will be respected! You said I couldn't help but hate? I don't hate anyone and I certainly wouldn't hate someone who is literally BEGGING for the company of a woman. To me that's pretty desperate! I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt when he first posted six days ago but when he came back with the blatant disrespect, I decided to respond, which is my right to do so, or should I check in with you to get permission on when, and who I can speak to??? I have tried many times to respect you, even when I don't agree with you. Is it too much to ask that you try and respect other's as well? Please tell me what is so difficult about treating people in the manner in which you want to be treated? Why do you have to be so antagonistic all the time? Do you not know at all, any tenderness or love? It's okay Queens, the more you hate on me, the more I'm going to pray for you and love you, in spite of you!! Now I'll let this go because I know you are dying to respond back, so you can put me in my place, tell me how awful I am and on and on and on!!!! Have a great weekend! love godiva

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  43.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    I would like to start out swapping computer-generated (CG) messages with a minority woman, age 21-55.

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  44.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    I am a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant (WASP). I would love to be intimate with a black female, age 21-55

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  45.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    (Jumping in) Hold up. I know this ain't sweet Godiva jumping in his face like this. Rick don't let these nappy headed black women "push you" around. As soon, as you said former Sportscaster. The bitchassness hit a "code red". She couldn't help herself but "hate". This is the prime example of a sellout black woman's "nature". They got to "mess your game up". Because they are a little jealous. Personally, I am shocked Godiva did this. Seriously, I think sellout black women being desperate is at an epidemic rate. I am sorry you were subjected to that. I wish, they would try that shit with me. Have a nice day.

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  46.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    @RICK HAYES, Aren't you the SAME RICK HAYES who on April 17th 2010 stated, "I want a date with a Hispanic, White, or Black woman, PREFERABLY the first two(Hispanic or White)???? Now here we are, some six days later, and you're wanting to hook up with a black female!!!! How often does your preferences change? Every six or every seven days?? Whatever illegal drug(s) that you are ingesting, give them up, and check into REHABILITATION!!!!! Or you could always do a Ben Rothelsberger, that's a gaurantee to getting a date, and with your first two preferences!

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  47.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    I am am ivory (white) former TV Sportscaster. Most females find me attractive, but I want to hook up with an ebony (black) female.

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  48.   bookman37 says:
    Posted: 23 Apr 10

    I am a white guy formerly engaged to a beautiful black woman from Chad. We split up due to religion. I tried being muslim but could not believe it the more I learned about it. Now I am married to a Vietnamese woman and we had our first baby recently. I have been with white women of course. That is not important. I am not sure why but white men and black women do not go together much. it is very interesting seeing everyone's thoughts.

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  49.   Member says:
    Posted: 19 Apr 10

    Would there be a black or hispanic female unattatched and looking for "some male company?"

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  50.   MzBrOwNSuGaR says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 10

    @ RICK HAYES You may get more prank calls than anything giving out your number like that. LOL

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"The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience"

Submitted by: Karen, USA, 34

My Dating Coach really took the time to go through my profile thoroughly. First she viewed my pictures and gave me great feedback.

She read through the written portion of my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on how to add my personality to it.

My amazing consultant, even asked how my contacts where going and offered a few suggestions to increase my interactions with new men.

I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments.

I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people which was the whole point of joining the site in the first place.

The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks!

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