…gender is one of the determining factors of interracial dating trends. Caucasian females are least likely to date Asian men, whilst white males in the U.S tend to be least attracted to female African American’s. – ‘Interracial Dating Trends’ by Matt Dating
Much as it is just a generalization, most of us do agree that there are very few White women who date Asian men. And when we try finding the reason for this, stereotypes and more stereotypes is all we dig up. But let’s look into the Black women White men interracial relationships: is attraction the reason why there are relatively fewer White men dating Black women? Really?
Thanks for the history lesson. I think it is interesting for everyone. I am curious though if you read Martyr’s Mirror because it brings history and Christian sacrifice to a whole new level and really strikes home with its graphic descriptions that are worse than any of the horror films I love to watch because they actually happened to innocent people. If you haven’t read it, you should read it because it is different than just learning about it historically from other sources. It has such detail and how much love those martyred had for their torturers and executioners because of their Christianity. And I agree that things on this site should be of inspiration and not war. And I can’t help but walk in peace because I am a Pacifist because of being Anabaptist.;-) It is a shame you can’t teach History anymore because I bet you were an awesome teacher.:-)
Regards,
Joseph Moyer
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Hey OKITSJUSTME. I am glad you find them so fulfilling although I would like to bring up two opinions.
1.Everyone is an individual so it is hard to generalize that women of color are all the same and all of them are fulfilling and it varies on who you are asking and who has had what experiences with them.
2.I always distinguish between African-American women and African women because I think generally speaking, because of their history of slavery in the United States and what the white man did to mess up their society, African-American woman have a lot more problems psychologically than white women who were never subjected to that cruelty. While African women I have known have been generally much more psychologically sound since they haven’t had to suffer slavery or the temptations of our hedonistic society. I have known many African women in the past and have been impressed by them in general and on this website, we have on one of the blogs an African Shaman named Moon that has an excellent outlook on life and is a very impressive person and woman. So I don’t think it is fair to lump the two groups together since they are both women of color. And everything above is generalities, not absolutes as there are exceptions to every rule.
And 2009 is awhile ago so I don’t know if that individual is even around as many people come and go especially in one year.;-)
Joseph Moyer
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My initial reaction to the few comments written on this subject was “It’s nice to see it brought out in the open”. I realized after further reading that it was graduating into a diatribe of sorts. When religion stepped in I sensed a disappointing shift away from the central theme. Call it a distorted metamorphosis. I have no desire or intention to merge into a debate over doctrinal debates and frankly feel those views should be posted separate and apart from what was intended here.
There also seems to be a harsh critiquing of some of the comments. What is to gain from dissecting every word in hopes of finding flaw or fault?
There will be an exception to virtually everything in life. My general comment that black women are “fulfilling” was just that “general”. I am of presence of mind to discern the distinctions from one human to another regardless of color.
I had hoped to simply read the experiences of those who have enjoyed (or perhaps not enjoyed) their interracial relationships. I remain to this day good friend with an American Black woman, whom I was with for 9 years with no different than husband and wife. We have not “lived together for the last 2 years. No matter (and without all the details) I will stop over cook a dinner for her and her older son, chat about what is going on and all is fine.
Would have been more stimulating to see the interracial topic keep its continuity.
Watched a wonderful movie last night on the subject, “Somebody New”. Great movie.
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Certainly didn’t want my wording to have any negative impact on the religious dialog of past. Just feel that it caused a “swaying off” the track of multi-cultural relationships and experiences.
The passion and sexual element can not be dismissed. However, it truly is the leaning experience that grows from there that puts the real test on longevity and genuine love for the one you’re with. The needs mature over time. You are sharing with a woman, not a black woman or a green woman, just a wonderful woman who has as much to offer as you. Your heart has to want it.
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Okayitjustme, it is hard for some of us who are really into our religion to separate them from our views because they are the center of our entire lives especially if you graduated from Seminary like I have. But if you prefer, we can just substitute “moral” for religious talk and keep it more neutral. So to throw out a suggestion on topic, maybe white men don’t find black women as attractive because of many African American women’s(not referring to African females) lack of morality as evidenced by their single parent rate and emphasis on materialism as apposed to some of the other races? Just a suggestion based on statistical data. Again speaking in generalities as that what statistics do so not targeting the exceptions. Just reading the statistical trends and quoting statistics. If anyone has a problem with the suggestion, they should argue with the people who did the studies, not with me because I am just saying what I read in the studies.
Joseph Moyer
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I don’t think the morality issue is completely fair. It assumes the superiority of a culture, as all religions have, at least in the last couple thousand years, originated in a particular culture. That they spread into others, has often been the result of conflict or the destruction of the cradle of one of the cultures. When the absorption is not whole, we have sects. Their are cultures in Brazil where the women have multiple husbands(I believe it is a bit more wide spread). My point? They appear to live in peace. They don’t commit genocide, carry out massive wars, and have live in harmony with the Creation for at least several thousand years. A surplus of marriageable males is a strong indicator of a non-violent society, just as a surplus of females is usually an indication of more warlike societies, the fewer males, the more wars.(I am not forgetting about the Amazons, who after more than two millennium of being considered mythological, now appear to have lived in the region near the Black sea.) I guess what I would like to say is, “judge not least ye be judged.” Diversity exists for a reason. Since God created diversity, who am I to condemn it?
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I do think the morality issue is totally fair as social scientists have long disproved statistically through studies the idea that you espouse of “cultural relativism” which is now considered outdated and inaccurate. And peace is not the answer for the criteria for a psychologically sounds society. Sociological and Psychological testing needs to be done in each society to determine its healthiness and the ones with the highest morals combined with the greatest tolerance towards differences in race, sex and everything else as long as it isn’t lack of morality has been shown to be the most psychologically healthy societies. My ancestors were all pacifists and would rather die than start a war and that is how I am today living in their tradition. Plus they were non-materialistic and non-hedonistic and were very happy people when they weren’t getting martyred.
So remember that appearances can be deceiving unless studied further from a sociological and psychological perspective which many, many, papers were written on my ancestors as they were studied for their almost Utopian society. And they treated women as equals which was unusual for that time. The leaders also did menial tasks and didn’t delegate those poorer to those tasks so their non-materialism made them happy and gave them nothing to fight over. Plus since the were happy with one wife and one husband and their morality prevented coveting another’s wife or husband, they were happy with who they were married to. The concentrated their efforts on getting deeper into their morality, following it, and getting closer to their spouse and family for the believed you could never get close enough due to the complexity of human nature. Plus you have to be careful about isegesis when you talk about not judging others because it is talking about ultimate judgment but doesn’t refer to accountability which they were very big on. They believed in confronting anyone who started to stray from good morality so that the seeds of evil wouldn’t sprout into actions. But they confronted each other with love and kindness and through that method, it was easier to hold each other accountable because if good morality is maintained from the start and only a little nudging is involved, then it is much easier to bring someone back into alignment and harmony with the group. And they also respected the land and had no desire to rape it like we do today for our selfish and hedonistic and immediate gratification. Their lack of materialism and hard work ethic also helped plus if you are busy trying to get closer to your spouse and children all the time, it doesn’t leave much extra time for immorality. Combine all these things in a moral society and you will have a happy society. And God created diversity of races and the two sexes which are also diverse as well as diversity of individual psychological makeup which led to a difference in cultures but He never created a difference in moralities. It was the free will of mankind and his natural sinful nature that caused differences in moralities and unfortunately religions and beliefs would crop up constructed by the leaders to rationalize their sin. God allows free will to all so if we come to Him, it is of our own free will. But as human beings with free will, we can choose to hold each other accountable morally the way God intended to and hopefully get ourselves back on track to true happiness. It is even more imperative with our complex culture tearing us all apart leading to goth and emo youth that have no moral anchor and rebel by embracing nihilism and hedonism. If they had some good moral rolemodels that weren’t hypocrites but lived out 24 seven what they speak and hold each other accountable so they can live it out consistently, then maybe our youth won’t be so lost and actually grow up happy with purpose and meaning. Social scientists are very worried about the studies that they have conducted in the United States and the rest of the world influenced by the United States. They see more and more mental illness and domestic violence that would exist even if there was no was because of the lack of moral structure and fiber in our country that isn’t riddled with hypocrisy.
It is a hard road to travel in the middle because if you go one way and try to be too moral without accountability, then you risk almost certain hypocrisy which is bad. And if you go the other way and just allow hedonism and materialism to run rampant, then there is nothing to stabilize our society and give it united guidance and harmony and it tends to disintegrate as we all only care about ourselves which decreases social stability as our large group of society looses all its synergy as group dynamics struggles back to its first law which is “group maintenance is prepotent” and there is no energy left for anything else of real importance for our society to be able to achieve as a whole and hence we crumble. The middle way is the hardest but it the best both psychological and sociologically and some argue, even spiritually.
Joseph Moyer
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