White Male From Southern USA Asks: Is Having Preferences Subtle Racism?
Sexual preferences. We all have them. We all have something that makes us tick in the bedroom. Hair, boobs, butts.
"I don't find [insert race] women attractive"
"I would never consider having sex with [insert race] man."
Your perfect partner could be online right now...
What are you looking for?
Well who is to say it isn't just preference? Who is to claim it isn't racist? The truth is: There are certain physical features that are dominant in particular races. And if you ask me, these features are the reason for preferring to have sex with people of a certain race. And such are the reasons that drive people who think interracial sex is an exotic fantasy. If you like them bootylicious, you know Black or Latino is the way to go (unless of course the woman is Amber Rose, white woman blessed with both booty and boobies). If you like blue-eyed blondes, then White is your preference.
Our question this week comes from a White man who doesn't find Black Women attractive. He can be friends with them but that's just it. Basically Black women don't feature in his sexual fantasies and sexual life. Should he feel guilty for sexually excluding black women? Is it preference or racist? Well read below:
"Thanks for the great videos...very educational :) I have a question.
As a white male from the Southern USA, I have...I would say "grown" out of certain ideas about interracial relationships. It wasn't because of any one book I read, or sensitivity training classes, but just a gradual process of seeing interracial couples who by their examples demonstrated that race does not have to be a barrier.
But My question is this...Do you consider "preference" as some form of subtle racism? Now please don't take this wrong, but whatever it is in the human male brain that triggers attraction...it simply doesn't "click" when I see black women MOST of the time. Just a rough estimate, I'd guess My non-reaction rate is around 95%. It isn't a negative reaction...it is just NO reaction. It is like My brain doesn't register black females as female in the sense that there is any possibility of sex happening.
I can laugh and joke and have fun with them as PEOPLE. I can work great with them as co-workers. I can appreciate them intellectually. But there is nothing sexual triggered.
Should I be concerned that this is some remnant of racism...or is it just biology? What do you think? Do we just accept our preferences as they are or is this a sign of something that needs some self-examination. As you can imagine, this is a difficult thing to talk about because people take offense and take it personal, but I'd really like to hear your views on this subject."
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