Posted by James, October 14th 2010

black men interracial datingSo many reasons have been cited to explain why quite a number of Black women are single or dating outside their race. Some say it’s because men like to feel needed and important in a relationship and its very hard for a Black man to do that with a powerful woman by his side.

R&B star, Dawn Richard (pictured) had this to say…

“…it’s sad because we as women—especially women of color—don’t really have a great example of a black man anymore. And, I don’t even want to say that because I don’t want people to think that I don’t believe in it. But, in the generations that are coming up, men aren’t what they need to be, and it’s sad. That’s why you see more and more black women single or dating outside of their race. It sucks because I don’t think we really want to, but it’s the reality of our black men not stepping up to the plate.”

Just like Dawn, some women believe there are very few good Black men left. Dawn thinks Black men are “not stepping up to the plate”. Others say: good Black men have been taken by women of other races.

So where do these women find these good Black men? And if there are very few of them; based on the high number of interracial relationships between Black men and women of other races, does this mean non-Black women choose to JUST settle for the ‘not-so-good’ Black men?

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110 Responses to “Where do women of other races find good Black men?”

  1. Hodda says:

    Actually, We don’t hangout too much, we’re too busy taking care of our priorities and building and setting up future plans for our children to carry on our legacy. May catch us in a grocery store every now and then, because we do like to eat. lol At the mall, shopping, we do like to look good. At a NBA , NFL, MBA, Concert, or comedy event.

    We live just like everybody else. The conversation about black men and black women, goes a lot deeper than many care to realize. But the truth is we don’t know each other and assume we do. No 2 men or 2 women are the same, period!! Many minds have been poisoned and infected with what we feel is the truth. This has been building for as long as our ancestors existed. From the Willie Lynch Syndrome mindset, in which I can tell most of you have no clue about. Research it and educate yourself. That’s only way those interested in the truth can learn the truth.

    Black men and women don’t know a thing about each other, except what our past has taught us, nothing more, nothing less. And that’s all we will ever know about each other until we take the time to get to know each other.

    Black mothers STOP being bitter and allow these fathers who want to be fathers a chance. Black Fathers STOP using the kids to ease into the bedroom, or whatever negative motive you have intended, and stay active in your sons and daughters lives. Black women forget what you think you know, and get to know your Black man. Black man forget what you think you know and get to know your Black women. Patterns are hard to break, but that’s the only way this Relationship epidemic will be fixed. Let your mind die, and be reborn.

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  2. onetreehill says:

    What is a good black man?? What is a good white man?? What makes him good or bad is not about his race. I think women of other races don’t have to look for the black man, because he will find her. In my experience, most black males look for light, bright, or almost white females anyway. Therefore, if they want
    “high yellow” of course they will seek out the other races. So, I say to women of other races, hang tight,
    he will find U! I hope this doesn’t sound rude, but it is true in my experience with black men.

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  3. bamboo58 says:

    “Women in general believe they have men all figured out. They know men in and out, and therefore, therse is nothing else left for them to learn about men.”
    Since the beginning of time, women seem to dominate and own the conversation surrounding relationships and men don’t really have nothing important to say. Men can never seem to make any sense to women in anything they try to to say.

    In face of any relationship conversation, women always use the emotional tearing strategy to shut men up from saying anything and the next thing you hear is that these women start using their famous statements such as: “all men are dogs, men think with their d!cks, and men are afraid of commitments.” Men have no place in the conversation. Men have been listening to women and put up with all kind of nonsense with women since the beginning of time, and it is time that women start listening to what men really have to say, and to what they are saying.

    Black women, for example, need to stop being so angry, so materialistic, so shallow, so argumentative, so confrontational, so unsupportive, etc.. this kind of attitude doesn’t make black women look strong and powerful, but rather a pest, ghetto with no class. Black women have this atitude that no black man can measure up to their expectations because a black man can never make enough money to take care of them, no black man can be educated enough, black men can never drive a luxury car to their satisfation, and the list just goes on.

    Furthermore, in my life time, I have never heard black women say anything nice, good, and uplifting about black men, period. Black men are the only group of people in this world being on a constant “mode” of proving themselves to the world and to the society, but even worse to their black women and households. And yet, everyone is asking why there are so many black men in jails. Who could live under such of stress and pressure where support is nonexistent?

    Black women need to realize there is more in this world than just their hair care, finger nails, toe nails, and their bills. Maybe and just maybe, if black women could take a deep breath for a minute and realize that black males, too, have the same needs as they do, and start treating black males with the outmust respect, affection, compassion, and understanding, everybody would see a big turn around in the relationship landscape.

    Hey, all of you black women out there, understand that black males don’t care about your power, your indepence, you this and your that. All black males want from you is to be their women on every level, give them your emotional support system, spend time with them, and nurture them, and be their aspiration.

    And please people, stop bringing slavery and oppression into the relationship conversation because if there is any supreme truth to it then there is no reason for all of this complaining and whining. Let’s just say “it is what it is” and leave it as such.

    Interracial relationship is here to stay , it’s growing, and that is the reality. Get use to it!

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    • Reese says:

      I disagree. Black women are always being asked to justify themselves. You are very one sided if you think black men are the only ones being constantly made to prove themselves. Black men need to respect black women as well. If you don’t see how the fact that alot of black men in prison and not doing the right thing inpact the dating world and think it is all the black woman. I think you are the one with the problem.
      Black women want what every other women want. Think about what black women go though compared to other races of women. But black men don’t understand that their is a cause and affect. You complain about not being supported and being stereotyped and then turn around and do the same thing. Black men are more angry, more ghetto and much less supportive. We are the only race that women take care of the kids alone 70% of the time and where 30% of our men are in jail, prison or on probation.

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  4. get real says:

    Speaking as a blkman, I love all ladies. I must say all white woman. I loved did love me more and deeply. Than the blk woman less loud talking, less ghetto none scence. A white woman will have her man back, blk woman will have own.Awhite don’t. Mine trying new sexual things, blk woman will always ask why and accuse you of already trying with someone else. I love thelove that white ladies give me with wanting something for loving me so good. Now there faithful and nonfaithful in all race of a woman and men. I do know when a woman does care what other people do or think about how much love she show me that is a faithful woman and that is the woman I need to love forever and ever.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1 (+1)

  5. Veneno2717 says:

    As a romance artist and serial dater I can say this, women, whether black, white, blue, yellow or green cry out for the REAL man regardless of race but are never sure what they really asked for. Many so called “GOOD Men” have come into their lives only to have these women date them temporarily or reject them altogether. So when she asks for the real man, chances are it’s horse sh!t. I am the gentleman @sshole and they come breaking down my door, wait for me at work, my parking lot and catch a tizzy if when I dont call or text them back. I have gone on about 8 dates here in the last month and the stories these women tell me are amazing. Guys, there is no shame in pick up. Learn from the greats and follow their advice regardless of who crazy it may seem, the stuff works.

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  6. Denilson2000 says:

    The are good black men everywhere but of course if you are a good black man, your not gonna get laid. Simple as that. If it wasn’t for the possibility of men having sex with women, men wouldn’t even bother talking to women.

    What, you really think men endure your S**T because you’re such a brilliant conversationalist and awesome companion?

    Most women have it easy cause sex comes pretty easy to females. I’m not coming from a position of strength. I’m coming from a position of weakness. At least I recognise this fact instead of burying it under self-deluding machismo.

    Men have to put so much effort to get laid or get a girlfriend, going from one girl to the next, suffering rejection after rejection, hoping, wishing that this girl does not blow you out like all the others and even if she does she won’t give a S**T about it in doing so. Then (Praise the Lord) you may actually strike lucky. So therefore you passed all the relevant tests.

    1) The looks test.
    2) The job test.
    3) The clothes test.
    4) The area where you live test.
    5) The car test.

    All the while she thinks she does not have to do nothing to prove herself to you. Her ultra high,arrogant opinion hereself will make her think that she does not have to. Women don’t approach men. They want to current system were a man must go cap in hand to a woman asking for favours, while she is free to reject him with no more hesitation than brushing away a street beggar.

    Women have all the power. They decide. They choose. They select the men to go out with. They accept and keep the gifts. They decide when – sorry, if – they’ll sleep with you. And who is it that demands equal rights ? Why do guys have to jump through unnecessary hoops to get laid? Then you wonder why there are so many rapists ?

    And what’s with the way girls talk to guys who are too skinny, too short, or too fat, too ugly, not rich ? They do nothing to earn the friendship of these men yet assume it immediately because in some superficial way they feel superior.

    I JUST CAN’T GET OVER HOW SUPERFICIALITY BLEEDS INTO EVEN THE MOST MUNDANE DAY-TO-DAY CONDUCT WOMEN HAVE WITH MEN.

    More women need to look at themselves in the mirror and come to grips with reality.

    1) You are not special.
    2) You are not gorgeous.
    3) You are not brilliant.
    4) You are not sophisticated.

    Most will never do anything special or influential in their entire lives !!!

    I’m also sick and tired of how picky women are.

    What gives them the right ?

    And why should anyone take pity or have sympthay for a woman who is cheated on by her b/f, or beaten by him, or hurt in some seemingly injust way? Shouldn;t she have screened him more carefully in NON-superficial matters to the same degree she did to ensure he was the right height, had the right look, and had the right body or car or style ,job ? If you’re going to be so picky in one way, what excuse do you have to not ensure he’s respectful, sweet, and decent and honest ?

    I admit some guys are conniving, but maybe if you paid the same degree of attention to character as you did to money, status, looks you might learn something.

    Anyway, I really had to get that rant off my chest. I am so pissed off at how arrogant girls and how f**king low my standards have sunk over the years, and still with nothing. Like I’m so f**king worthless, it drives me crazy. Four years ago I attempted suicide came pretty close to dying but didn’t, then never tried again.

    I wish there was some way to encapsulate pain and make a weapon out of it. So you could track down all the people who rejected you and who were f**king lucky you even spoke to them, but because of some delusional society ingrained idea of them being special, they simply brushed you off like an ant, and you could just fire that weapon on them and all that intensified humiliation and self-degradation could just beam right into their soul and stay there and it would take years or a f**king lifetime for that injury to heal over.

    I’ve also learned another thing. To the guys –

    NEVER EVER LOWER YOUR STANDARDS.

    Ugly girls are just as snooty and arrogant as good looking ones. You may as well get rejected by a decent looking girl, because there is really nothing like asking out a girl you’d have to close your eyes to F**K and hearing she doesn’t have time for you. When girls say “Maybe you should go for a plain girl” or “Ugly girl”….. don’t listen to them !!

    Stop listening to whatever they have to say !! Walk away !!

    Because they’re F**king LYING !! IT’S NOT TRUE !!

    UGLY GIRLS ARE NOT LESS PICKY !!!!!!!!!!

    Misogynists are not born they are made. Hating women is the only thing I have left to do. I’m too good to respond with violence or anything so trite and barbaric. I’m above it and beyond it. I AM A BETTER MAN.

    I am a MISOGYNIST. I declare it, not proudly, but without shame. I refuse to accept the shame that women have tried to place upon me.

    I am a MISOGYNIST, without apology to anyone.

    I’m a MISOGYNIST, from now until women show themselves worthy of something better than hatred.

    I am a MISOGYNIST from now until the day I die.

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  7. scandiblond says:

    As a white woman i had so far not been lucky with this online dating. 3 times i have let myself to let my guards down. I been lied, cheated and scammed too, all these with 3 different guys..makes me wonder if the 4th will have all of those above…LOL Now i know what to look for and where/what the signs are. I am not giving up on finding a good honest blk man, he is somewhere out there. So still searching…There is a good blk man for me out there.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0 (+3)

  8. shydude74 says:

    anywhere they please

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