What does your lady really want to hear?
There are situations men find themselves in and wonder how they even got there. These are tricky moments that arise during difficult conversations... moments where one misplaced word can lead to a spiraling argument or the silent treatment for days on end. But what is a man to do in such situations where silence is interpreted as “not caring” and one minute word can get you into deep s***?
What do women really want to hear?
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The situation that makes me feel most cornered is when my girlfriend asks how she looks. I once blubbered; “I always tell you when I don’t like how you dress. So when I don’t say anything, trust me, you look great”. So the next time she bought herself a new sexy dress, she came, looked at me and said, “Thanks hon!” “For,” I asked. Her reply was, “Since you didn’t comment about my dress, I know I look super sexy in it.”
I don’t know about other men but I can’t explain my silence. She looks hot in almost everything. And when she has something on that makes her look plain, what am I supposed to say? :roll: I just keep quiet for fear of saying something that would get me into trouble. Problem is, in such cases, not saying anything implies you are not into her – its even worse when the attire is new. Dr. Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men says when a woman asks how she looks she is “... also asking at an emotional level, meaning, ‘What do you think of me?’” His remedy: Praise what you love about her body… tell her how the attire compliments a certain feature. And you better be sincere ;-)
During an argument, much as you don’t want to provoke her by being quiet, trust me, silence can make her much angrier because she feels ignored and that you don’t respect her opinion. In this case try explaining to her that talking may make you say things you might regret later and that its best if you revisit the matter when both of you are calm. Kindly give a time frame (say, “Can we talk about it in the evening”) so that you don’t seem like you are escaping the issue at hand.
Then there is the issue of men just going silent after sex or dozing off. Much as talk isn’t that significant to a man - in comparison to actions - to a woman, talk is more important. Talking is her way of showing it. Tell her what you love about her; some special moment you shared together; anything nice - I believe you used to say this stuff when you just met and couldn't keep your paws to yourself.
Men are known to be fixers. So when a woman comes and shares her problems at work, most men keep quiet because… I mean … How do you fix that? Problem is, silence comes off as disinterest in her life because when she opens up about this, she knows you cant fix it; she just wants you to listen, offer a shoulder, and reassure her that it will all get better. Just give her that and let her know you empathize with her.
Words are can make or break a relationship. Silence on the other hand can even be worse than bad words. But the right words at the right time will get you out of tricky situations, avoids more issues and if lucky, get you some some … Lord gimme the strength to practice what I preach ;-) .
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