Were they pushed into intra-racial dating?

Posted by James, 08 Apr 13

In this age and era of growing acceptance of interracial dating, it saddens me to read about a mother who 'banned' her daughter (White) from dating an African American boy. She had never considered herself a racist until her daughter brought a black boy home. She writes:

"He was about as nice a guy as you would ever hope your daughter would bring home. He was African-American. It was then I found I indeed did have a problem.

I banned her from dating him. That is not a good thing to do with a 16-year-old, but I could not help it. I spent days meeting with my priest, discussing it with a counselor, then went back and swallowed hard.

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I told my daughter I would no longer prohibit their dating. I explained that I would never be able to fully accept it, but I would not forbid it."

This mom wasn’t the only one with a problem. Apparently, even the boy’s mom wasn’t comfortable. When asked by the White mom how she felt about their kids’ interracial relationship, she said she is wonderful and a real treasure but she aint Black. “I am sorry, I am old-fashioned I guess, but I am not happy with my son dating a white girl.” They both laughed knowing they felt the same.

"The problem is not with…my daughter or her boyfriend; it is with a generation of us still holding on with all we have to what we were raised to believe. I hope they can forgive us," she says.

The thing is, when the two went off to college, they drifted apart and now, both of them are dating people from their own race. Clearly, the lesson the moms learned from their parents has been passed on to their son and daughter. Were they pushed into dating their own race by their parents?

3 responses to "Were they pushed into intra-racial dating?"

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  1.   AngelfromLA says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 13

    I do not believe that the two individuals in the story were forced into intra-racial dating. I am a BW who has always been attracted to WM. I have people say so many crazy things to me about my preference over the years but I could never give in. I am not attracted to BM. And no matter what anybody said, I have kept right on with WM. People have accused me of being ashamed of being Black, prejudiced against Black men, only wanting a man with power. I have been told that the type of white man I'm looking for only wants white women. So many stupid things! But nothing has stopped me or changed my attraction to white men. So maybe those 16 year old kids were just trying something new but at the end of the day, their preferences may not have been interracial.

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  2.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 26 Apr 13

    Oh man, this story can't be real because when I was 16 , I was pretty rebellious. If for example my parents told me I couldn't date an Asian girl, I would have brought home a geisha girl just to spite them.

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  3.   Coey8 says:
    Posted: 24 Apr 13

    For shame, and the prejudice will keep repeating as long as some of us keep reacting this way! People need to get out of their comfort zones; there's a whole world out here to discover! But #sigh# its like pulling teeth for some!

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