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Want to lose weight? Think again!

Posted by Ria, 09 Nov

weight_loss.jpgEver thought that losing weight may make you lose your life? I am not talking about your visits to Mickey D's for some fries and king-size burger; or the beer binges you will be missing just coz you have to go to some aerobics class. No! No!

When Marie had a stomach surgery and lost almost half her weight in less than a year, she didn’t think losing 100lbs would mean losing half her life too. After an accident that injured her back, Marie had to spend most of the months on a couch or bed drinking cola and eating. Being a large woman, this made her pack on so much weight that her hubby practically had to do everything for her.

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One day, while crawling on her hands and knees in order to get upstairs, she heard that voice from above we all wait for. Funnily enough her call came in the form of an advert for stomach surgery. Having figured out that this was the only way she’d lose her weight and with the support of her husband, she went for the surgery that changed her life forever.

Then came the drastic shedding of weight. Marie’s clothes size changed so fast that it was hard to keep up financially. Of course, she did what most women who finally get that flat stomach they have been dying for do… she bought belly rings and low-rise trousers.

But one surprising thing that happened is that as she got thinner, her relationship with her husband got more strained. He was more the kind of guy that liked to do dinner on special occasions but with this new lease of life, Marie wanted to socialize more and show off her new great figure at anyone who wanted to look! Obviously, not impressiving hubby!

Now that Marie no longer needed a husband who practically did everything for her – from helping her off the floor to physical work around the house – John (the husband that is) changed towards her.

“I thought he’d find me more sexually attractive but he didn’t.᾿ Apparently he felt left behind. It’s like he could only identify with the old helpless Marie and not this hot, thin chick.

Eventually, he left her claiming it wasn’t working out anymore. Not only did Marie lose her husband but she also lost most of her girlfriends and the slimmer she got, the more distant they got. It seems like she sacrificed a lot to lose weight: her friends, her husband and eating large amounts of food.

Someone explain to me: what really happened? Did she feel she didn't need them any more? Did they enjoy doing stuff for her and enjoyed her company only when she was helpless? Did she lose her personality with her weight? I always thought that love is about personality! And I thought men liked slim women!

Tags: weight loss, relationship issues

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  1.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 15 Jun 10

    ehhhh, If she was healthier and is going to live longer, who cares? Being "a rather larger than i like" chick myself, i could care less what pleases a man as far as my body. My concern is what pleases me and keeps me healthy.

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  2.   Billy_C says:
    Posted: 10 Apr 10

    BTW, i agree with Rissa. There is such a thing as too thin. Some of these models should be force fed burgers for about a week straight, because they look sickly and very unhealthy.

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  3.   Billy_C says:
    Posted: 10 Apr 10

    "The problem was with him not her. As soon as she got some self-confidence and independence from him -she no longer suited his needs. Alot of men are threatened by strong women. Let him go out and find another door mat. Marie needs to go out and celebrate the fact that she’s finally free of that ball and chain." Let me get this straight. She's so fat that he has to do everything for her- and does....and that earns him your disdain? Wow, thank god all women don't think like you do. Amazing.

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  4.   Member says:
    Posted: 08 Dec 09

    I've been doing the Master Cleanse off and on for over 7 years and love it! Additionally, I have a copy of Stanley Burroughs' book. However, when I heard about Peter Glickman's book I felt I should have it on my shelf as well. It's very easy to read; I finished it in only 2 hours. The back-and-forth dialogue that he includes from his website's bulletin board is very nice. It's helpful to read accounts of other folks doing the cleanse. Another great aspect to the book is the numerous helpful websites and books that Glickman makes mention of. I'm so eager to do the Master Cleanse again (very soon)! This time I want to go past 10 days for the first time. I want to see a pink tongue!

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  5.   blackstorm69 says:
    Posted: 16 Jun 09

    I An considered a big girl in my teenage and early adulthood my weigh stayed at 130pds, due to a medical problem my weight increased and the strangest thing was that men especially those a liitle older became very interested in me. I dont have an issue with my weightand because I have alot os self confidence people find it easy to approach me. I have had experience with large people who have lost a lot of weight some remain really nice but others their attitude worsen they actually begin to treat people worse than they ever had, they have an air about them its like they are better this can be a real turn off and be very destructive to any type of relationship.

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  6.   raytorayto says:
    Posted: 15 May 09

    Rissa I know what your ex meant as I like some thickness. I was glad when Tyra should her thicker self. One of the sexiest women I have a crush on is Queen Latifah. I believe a person can be health and heavy (what is considered heavy. My ex felt insult when I tried to lose weight because to her she felt others would think she is not taking care of her man. A bit old fashioned but that was how she was raised. Now the attitude could be slight or in your face on either side. Slight changes on both sides multiply more then a one side. Math fact in realtionships 1+1=3 (You, me, we). I have seen women flaunt their new (so called) bodies and react differently to others. Other times the still saw the "fat girl" in the mirror. I have seen friends rejected because they feel inadiquite yet others more supportive. If we have learned nothing on this sight it is we all have different tastes, likes and dislikes. But maybe one thing to consider before anything radical is all involved get therapy to cope with the changes. If it we slim down slowly we all adapt. But when things happen quickly mainy can not without help. Another thing to look at is body chemistry. With such dramatic lose wouldn't the bodies chemistry be altered. I don't want to sound like I am taking sides or sound sexist but women after giving birth have chemical changes. Could this also be the case with this surgery? Well rambled long enough and hope I made some sense somewhere. In the end we need to be happy with who we are, love ourselves and love others. We must remember why we feel in love with that special person. Oh god do I sound sappy or what?

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  7.   VA_SongBird says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 09

    Kudos to Michelle... You are an inspiration to us all.

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  8.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 08

    Nice site! Myself, I, more and more sympathetic to the people want to go and take them

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  9.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 10 May 08

    Congratulations Michelle.Keep us updated.....Much success in your weight loss and dating.

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  10.   rissa62 says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    Well, this is such an interesting topic. As a former model, I can tell you that being thin wasn't my sexiest moment. My ex-husband told me that I was sexier when I was pregnant because I had "meat on my bones." I thought he was being silly. However, I now am a much healthier size; and loving it. I have always been athletic; but when I lost so much weight in order to satisfy my agency, I didn't realize how unhealthy I was then. Beauty in more than skin deep. If it does not live within ones soul, it is useless and vain. It takes every woman of all colors, shapes, and sizes to keep this world alive. So, you men out there who love these types of women, I hold great respect for you.

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  11.   fala says:
    Posted: 18 Nov 07

    LMAO@Coco and the gay husband!

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  12.   Starthai says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 07

    Mai you pretty much summed it up. I love your comment it's so true. :)

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  13.   Mai says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 07

    I am neither a big woman nor a thin woman, but a healthy woman of average height, weight and looks. The real culprit here is what we as women think about ourselves. Do we believe that men (or society) define who we are? Then if we do and are obese and sit on the couch all day, we will see what society wants us to see and/or become -- slaves to fads! If we are thin, then we think that we are the epitemy of sexy and healthy (but remember sexy is cultural). Some cultures believe that sexy is a big beautiful woman who have the right amount of what they need to "hold on to". Then some believe that what society dictates is what they want in a girlfriend or spouse and we believe that we should conform to what the men want us to look like (barbie dolls -- by the way those are made of plastic - silicon (sic). But what happens when gravity and reality sets in -- we run to the knife and become slaves to a fad (a man's eye candy). Focus on being a "big, average, thin" healthy you! There is someone who will love what you stand for (your character, morals, values, etc) as opposed to what gravity and reality has not yet touched, but will ultimately do to your face (and other body parts) after a certain age.... Instead of believing that diatribe, we need to focus on healthful living and what makes us comfortable in our own skin. Love the skin and shape you are in my sisters!

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  14.   cocoadream says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 07

    I don't understand the part about fat and ugly women having to be nicer. Has always been my experience that they are the ones who are the most rude and out of line with thin women. They holler loud enough when people call them names, but think it is perfectly ok to call thin women names, even go so far as crack whore and anorexic! In general, I think fat people are meaner and more defensive than thin people. They sure don't have any regard for the feelings or personal space of thin people, that's for SURE. And after all the good looking men that I have seen with these huge women, sure doesn't look like they need any help getting dates. I think a lot of men go for them because, as it was explained to me, they don't have to worry as much about another guy stealing them.

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  15.   dub2ya says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 07

    I think this article was written from the woman's perspective. If it were just her husband that would have left I would have been like, "he's insecure". But, she lost a lot of her friends too. This tells me that she changed in some way that was, to them, negative. She said she flaunted her body. I had a girlfriend that lost a lot of weight (I did too). She changed a lot. It's one thing to let confidence shine. But, to me my ex just let the bitch out that was always there. Fat and ugly women have to be nicer. I know this sounds harsh. But, a woman's looks are her commerce. Money and confidence are a man's commerce. I was confident even then. So, I still have the same friends and I still get the girl.

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  16.   cocoadream says:
    Posted: 14 Nov 07

    This article is what I would call ridiculous because it discourages people from losing weight, and that is wrong with how obese this country is getting. Sounds more to me like this woman just got so full of herself and flaunting her new bod that she alienated her friends and husband with her BS. Would you want your wife overtly flaunting herself at other men? Would you want to be friends with someone who was consumed with their appearance? I sure wouldn't think so, on either count. I don't beleive for one second it was because she got thinner. I think it was because she became such a self centered, shallow bitch.

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  17.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 07

    I guess it's a matter of choice. A lot of women who lose a lot of weight lose their husbands because they are insecure about the attention their spouses are getting. Wait...unless you are Star Jones. Maybe there is a benefit to having a gay husband...LOL

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  18.   ali says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 07

    losing the weight have to have a limitation, most men wants you to continue losing, and once you have nothing left to lost, they leave you, but i really would lose a lot of weight for a man, if i take you as is, you should do the same for me too...

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  19.   fala says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 07

    Congratulations Michelle! That's a great accomplishment. Great points from everyone on this one.

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  20.   MsBigSexy says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 07

    Congrats to her for losing the weight. Hopefully she did it for health reasons and not to please other people. That never works. While most people are assuming the people around her (husband and friends) changed after she lost the weight, we must remember there is a common denominator in all of this.......her. Some people who lose that much weight can't handle the new image and become obnoxious to the point that they no longer are the person they use to be and forget how to treat the people around them. I know of a woman who lost a lot of weight and she would flirt with men in front of her husband to the point of totally being rude to her husband. She would dress inappropriately to social functions. (There is a time and a place for everything). She also became obnoxious to her friends, coming on to their men and being disrestful to them (her friends) when they would call her on her behavior. After losing that much weight, some people change for the worse and not for the better.

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  21.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 07

    Congratulations Michelle and continued success to you and your accomplisment. I'm reading some of the responses, and find somethings, mean and absolute rubbish. The society we live in is cruel, people are very unforgiving. Truth of the matter, people who are morbidily obese, have a hard time living in our society. The majority, will stare, snicker, and say things like "fat" to make a obese person feel uncomfortable. Even in the gyms across America, fit people, won't even help out with a suggestion or get on a treadmill next to them, while these people are trying to get in shape. A lot of no moral support, just abusive behavior, typical yet shameful! In Maries case, it seems her personality blossomed once she felt good about herself. Yet it puts the question out, do we need to have surgery, on our bodies, to make our personalities blossom? It seems that is what it is coming too. Maries, husband fell in love with the person, not the body, and Marie felt her body was not lovable. Perhaps that is the reason for her behavior. I am a firm believer that the media plays a roll in why people hate themselves, and sterotyping. While Marie was large, and watching tv all she saw was these slim sexy women, how men fell for them and loved them so. Perhaps in her mind she wanted her mate to feel that way about her, when she didn't realize he already had. Loosing extreme amounts of weight can mess with a womans mind, lets be real, guys that wouldn't say , two words to you,come on to you, it is a great ego booster. Ria to answer your question, men like women period, it doesn't matter the shape or size. It matters within the man himself. Real men aren't afraid of large women, it's men who are weak who can't handle large women, they fear the outside world. Sure we can say, what turns me on is blah..blah blah. A gentlemen told me this a few hours ago, "some men know quality when they see it". It takes a real man to love a woman unconditionally and love her for the person she is. It don't take much to fall for a image( keep in mind the definition of "image"). Over did it again..jeez! Till the next epidose! eat cheesecake!

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  22.   Michelle says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 07

    I myself was a SSbbw (supersize big beautiful woman). I was morbidly obese and had considered the Gastric Bypass, however I started paying attention to what I was eating and changed my eating habits to high protein, high fruits and vegetables, no carbs, and once a week ate what I wanted for one meal with no guilt. Since Dec 05 I have lost 160 pounds. I feel better and look better than before. However I have to be honest, that I have noticed I recieved more date, REAL DATE, invitations when I was heavier, men seemed to notice me more when I was heavier. Now, thinner, I get more invitations for hot encounters, I prefer it more when men wanted to take me on real dates. I,like the woman in the story always surmised that being thinner men would notice me more, but that is not true. I am still a bbw, the lower end, but I have realized that not all people are meant to be small, or thin, that there is beauty in full figure curvy women. Also my ex husband, who likes thinner woman has recently mentioned that he is angry because I never lost the weight when we were married, and because I am thinner now than the whole time he has known me. And some men love bbws, some men dont, its all matter of taste.

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  23.   deeann says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 07

    The best part is she lost that extra weight that could have taken her life. Her friends and husband were probably jealous of the happy and confident person before them...maybe the people in her life was not used to her being so secure with herself. On the other hand, she should have been more mindful about the bragging she may be done and she probably could have been more attentive towards her husband. As most females know...A truly good man is hard to find.

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  24.   laugh_sailor says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 07

    I have a close friend who has lost over a hundred pounds, this summer (And still has eighty to lose.). His wife is also fat. She didn't have the guts to keep with the medically-supervised weight loss program they started on and is resentful with him for being successful with it. He told me there is a comfort in other overweight people's company and that's why a lot of fat people have fat families: The fat ones push the people they care for to be more like them and those people cave in. In losing weight, he has been saying "No" to that behavior. In essence, it's rejecting them in a second way (In saying "no" to their socialization), as well as their lifestyle. The underlying problem is, of course, the destructive behavior of those fat people who, rather than change themselves for good, change others for worse - Behavior that's often being willfully ignored on both sides, for the sake of peace. In his case, also, it's put a terrible strain on their relationship. I thought this an interesting insight, from one who has been through this problem.

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  25.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 07

    Great comment Fala. It's too bad it ended that way. I think her husband liked being needed. When she didn't need him anymore, he left. Funny that you hear this story over and over again when people have that surgery. Seems you may have to sacrifice more than weight to find the new you.

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  26.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 07

    Interesting article, Ria. This one should get the sparks flying on the blog

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  27.   Jabali says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 07

    If Marie is happy, her hubby SHOULD be happy.

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  28.   fala says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 07

    The problem was with him not her. As soon as she got some self-confidence and independence from him -she no longer suited his needs. Alot of men are threatened by strong women. Let him go out and find another door mat. Marie needs to go out and celebrate the fact that she's finally free of that ball and chain.

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  29.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 07

    Sad tale...perhaps the showing off the body hurt the relationship, but the husband was not interested in the new Marie. Guess he loved a BBW.

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