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Traffic lights of falling in love

Posted by Ria, 11 Jul

traffic lights of loveFalling in love is one very trivial issue. For some it’s smooth sailing… for others, stormy. One thing most of you will agree with me is that you can never be too sure when to dive in. So when is the right time to give your all?

Well someone very creative came up with the traffic lights of falling in love as a way to assist most of us when we get to that junction.

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Green: Move in together, plan a big wedding and lots of babies

Amber: Almost ready but exercise caution

Red: Don’t you dare go there! Just thinking about it is dangerous enough

Problem is, in some relationships, the red light doesn’t change. You never seem to move from where both of you began… usually the bed. And in other cases, you are so engrossed in someone’s body… you don’t even realize that the light around them has always had a red hue.

After having dated a dude for like 5 months, it struck a pal of mine… :!: they only saw each other when they were on their own. They were having an affair and neither of them was married. The red light had always been there in disguise… pink maybe? Well pink is too cool a color.

So when can one be sure about these lights when that sexy, irresistible body is always there to lure and blind you like the devil himself?

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  1.   Kara says:
    Posted: 11 Aug 07

    I have a friend who was feeling a yearning to find a man to settle down with and have children. For a few months she was making dates with several men in a row (after several emails) in an effort to find the right one. She developed a two-choice way of reading their readiness to settle down: "Taxi light on" or "taxi light off." Either they're ready for you or they're not. I'm not sure it's that simple. For me, there are more traffic light colors in there between red and green. Maybe stick orange and blue in there to ease the transitions to green. Sometimes it seems like a relationship jumps around on the readiness for love scale. I'd rather have that and know that it's true and genuine, though, than to have an insta-love set up. Those never work out for me. Real love develops over time, in my experience. So, I suppose I stay on yellow ("proceed with caution") most of the time, but reserve the right to move ahead or backward depending on how the information or our relationship change.

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  2.   laugh_sailor says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 07

    Thanks Fala and Coco - I'm a cabinetmaker and shipwright, though and don't have an ounce of formal psychological training - I do try to listen well and live a good, happy and considered life, though. i appreciate the compliments and gain insights from both of your many wise observations. Well, when they aren's wisecracks, anyway! I hope you have a wonderful slow ride in your yellow submarine, Coco. Saundra, I couldn't agree more with you. That's a big problem I have with those who use the politics of hate, in any arena: They simply can't be trusted.

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  3.   SAUNDRA says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 07

    America Is so full of hate, how can they say anything about love? Like, how can a KKK member get married or even smile and mean it? Are'nt they too exhausted from the constant hating on black people meetings they have all day, every day to have normal human feelings? That' odd. I know if a man wanted me, i would love for him to want me because he wants ME. not because somebody told him the only woman he could be with had to look the same as he did. Would'nt that be funny if you found out the guy that "loves" you only says that because you are white and he is too? Its like, well in other words, If my pigment changed one day the marriage is over with.... HOW ROMANTIC!

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  4.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 07

    God bless all of you who are in green mode. I am stuck on yellow. I have a wonderful man in my life, and I want to take it slow and enjoy the ride. Perhaps one day I will go green, but for now, its mellow yellow for me :)

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  5.   Madmaxx says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 07

    Red lights are everywhere! So are three-timing women out for gold-digging escapades. Watch out for women seeing only GREEN when they see a sober man! Amber is exciting cos you always on the edge!

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  6.   fala says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 07

    You're right Silky. Seinfeld did do an episode about this and it was a very funny one too.

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  7.   Thomas says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 07

    We are neither traffic lights nor cookies and I think each of us will know when we are ready for a serious relationship. Does'nt matter inside or outside our own race. "Green light for vanilla-chocolate cookies"

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  8.   silky1 says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 07

    Didn't Jerry Seinfeld do some episodes on this.... He found fault with every woman he dated for sometimes very obscure reasons.... I think I would rather give it my all, and regret it later. But as always it would probalby depend on the situation.

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  9.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 07

    I think Laugh Sailor is a Psychologist...LOL!

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  10.   fala says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 07

    That's an astute observation Laugh.

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  11.   laugh_sailor says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 07

    I think Ria is a visual person. I have a friend who is in love with a selfish, two-timing jerk. When I brought up the things she told me he had done, she was very, very upset with me. She just doesn't want to see the red lights and drives right through them. I've ignored those red lights, myself and am sure I've seen red lights where there were none, as well. It's hard to be level-headed about the person you're in love with - Especially at the beginning. Maybe this is an evolutionarily-developed trait to quickly gain cohesion in the family unit. Does anyone here know anything about this?

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  12.   fala says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 07

    Black and white cookies? red and green traffic signals? Is it all about color? Can't we just see things for what they are?

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