To wince or not at black and white dating?

Posted by James, 10 Jul 11

Soul sista and Grammy Award winner Jill Scott once openly declared on Essence magazine that she “felt a wince” on hearing her black pal – male – was married to a white woman. Well, I believe Jill Scott isn’t the first person to openly declare her negative feelings towards black and white dating. Neither will she be the last. And as many people do, she claimed the wince stems from the effects of interracial dating during slavery era. She spoke openly about it. Should she be admired or hailed for being open about how black and white dating doesn’t sit well with her?

To wince or not to wince at black and white dating became the debate of the year 2010. In defense, Jill went ahead to say that people should not take the wince to be “racist or separatist” but just a reaction to years of oppression endured by the black woman in the U.S. See, it seems to be the common reaction of black women whenever they see one of their men dating white; its either a head shake, bad stares, or an open declaration of disgust, mostly at the white woman.

Funny thing is, a similar reaction is expressed when a black woman dates a white man – “You mean she could not find a Black man?” “Black women need to stand by their own men”. With black and white dating, people will always have something to say no matter the gender composition of the interracial couple. Such reactions make people wonder whether we should be relying on the statistics that people are accepting of interracial dating because when looking at matters on the ground, much as we have become more accepting, it somehow feels like its not by the percentages reported by such race studies.

Even with the wincing and all, more Black women are now pursuing black and white dating at some considerable rate. And the reasons cited for this always seem to tramp the image of the black man; its like the average Black man isn’t sufficient enough for the educated Black woman. Question is: Do Black men experience that wince when one of their own fine and successful woman walks in the arms of a white man? If yes, what is the wince influenced by? Slavery? Jealousy?

Everyone may be entitled to their own opinions and winces but when it comes to personal stuff as who someone dates, please don’t fault me when I say “BUTT OUT”!!!

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