The place where people are accepting of black and white dating

Posted by James, 10 Aug 11

acceptance black and white datingWe always talk about how some people are against interracial dating; especially black and white dating. And people have cited slavery to be the reason why some African Americans feel obliged to date “their own” and why some of them find it quite hard to be accepting of these relationships, seeing it as a betrayal of sorts. Things have gotten better though. But even with the growing acceptance of black and white dating, we still see hate crime stories on the news, we still have people who would rather die lonely than date out, we still have families who forbid their kids from marrying out and friends dissing the person within their clique who does.

My friend who lives in Kenya, East Africa told me how people in Africa seem not to have any issues with accepting black and white dating. In fact he was telling me how most families might be more accepting of someone from a different race than a Kenyan from a different tribal community (that is a story for another day). Initially when he was taking his girlfriend – who is white - to meet his family, she was so afraid that they might not accept her. But much to her surprise, she was treated better and with uttermost love and respect.

The thing is, black and white dating in most African countries isn’t seen as taboo. See, these people were colonized by the white. So just like in the U.S., slavery is something these people experienced. But for some reason, they have managed to forget or put aside the past and move on with their lives. For some reason, the Black people living in Africa have chosen not to let the past affect their future. They are more accepting and are living with the reality on the ground – its our forefathers who had issues with one another and NOT US!!! So acceptance of black and white dating isn’t the issue. The only issue could be people judging and making assumptions about why a Black person is with a White person. And in most cases, people assume the reasons are monetary.

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We are the melting point. So why don’t we act that way when it comes to black and white dating? These are some of the things we need to borrow from Africans living in Africa : We should let the past be what it is – THE PAST. We are all Americans and should live, date and marry freely as Americans.

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  1.   SugahRush says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 11

    Its impossible to compare American Race Relations with those of African Countries, (or any other country) for MANY reasons. First, in most of these countries, the Melanin-Rich people are the Rule and the Rulers. In Human Development, it bolsters ones confidence & hope to see people of power and influence who look like me. This hasnt been the case in the United States. (Obamas election is a drop in our cultural ocean, significant only to Americans). Second, not ALL Africans/Blacks were brought here as slaves. Most were indentured servantsat first. Slavery was an economic institution born in the voids of corrupt mindson multiple continents and on both sides of slavery. Thirdly, and most importantly, when both Slave & Master look alike, there is tangible representation that one can occupy either positionstudent or teacher; patient or doctor; customer or merchant; White House chef or White House CHIEF =wink, wink=. Slavery in America is differentiated by the fact that, again, those with the impervious power to enslave were decidedly a Caucasoid majority and the majority of those enslaved were not. This is definitely NOT the case in MOST other countries. The legacy is a tragic and long lasting one, too. You see, in countries where a particular race is the majority, there is also a cultural precedence of solidarity. This negates the fear that immigrants in my country, neighborhood, house, and/or family, will come to divide and conquer. When our leaders and followers look alike, its easier to draw strength from our past in order to chart our futures. This precedence isnt as readily available in African American culture. Theres a history of being snatched from homelands, then, being systematically torn from the social units formed in the new lands. Hundreds of years later, African Americans are still largely untrusting and unsupportive of our look alikes. We writhe against the concept of cultural cohesion. We still enslave ourselves to negative stereotypes of our own kind. The last bastions of racism can be found in churches and our liaissons. African Americans are the most critical of our look alikes in interracial relationships. African Americans are also more likely to dismiss the opportunity to make deep commitments outside our race. No matter your racial preference, there is NEVER justification devalue a man or woman who looks like you. Its self-loathing and a remnant of atrocities which should be buried as the dead. History cannot be changed. It is what it isa story. It is where it is--behind us. Its often gut-wrenchingly painful, but, beautiful diamonds are harvested from the darkest mines. Again, history cant be changed, but, so what!! We are to learn from our pasts so that were not condemned to repeat it. Were on track and must keep moving forward! Were to change lives and minds, one at a timestarting with our own. About African American Race Relations theres plenty through which we must trudge and trash! There are negative voices in which must be silenced. We must work harder to understand ourselves or we will NEVER truly understand others. I always say, Its not the relationships we choose, but how we choose to relate. Loving All Brothers & Sisters in Brotherly Love, ~SugahRush

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