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The first date representative

Posted by Ria, 21 Mar

I've come to the sad realization that when you first meet someone, you are meeting not really that person but a representative. A rep who is careful, moderate, genteel, more or less continually self-monitoring. A sales rep is more like it.

After having met enough of these sales reps only to realize that the product is actually faulty after committing myself, I say a relationship should begin with a few of life's more terrifying moments before graduating to the more pleasant – and not the other way round. This is the only way to weed out a plethora of candidates to find those truly fit for the challenge of sharing life with another person over time.

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I present adversity dating!

What do you think the first date should be like? An evening of going through your taxes to a soundtrack of children squabbling in the bath? Or an outing where they receive a call in the middle of the night summoning them to calm a fretful child?

The thing is when it comes to dating, we have to ask ourselves if we are really going about it in the right way. Might there be another way of determining whether that ‘representative’ you are sharing that first, candlelight meal could also be the person who will hold the bowl for you when you are sick?

Should we continue having candlelit dinners and walks on the beach under the sunset knowing well that both of you are just putting on a show for the moment? I mean, who could be boorish in a walk on the beach?

May be we should try a walk under the scotching sun … may be this will be a test of character. And this is why we should bring to dating a ruthlessness of war: Nothing works like adversity to thin out the ranks. Forget to carry money on your first date then tell me if you got a second one. You need to know if in times of crushing boredom, he can cook up the right amount of mischief to keep you laughing. And as much as I am for the beach walks, for the sake of separating the sales rep from the real person, then I am for adversity dating.

Anyway what do you think the first, second and third dates of this adversity dating scheme should be like? And would it really work?

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17 responses to "The first date representative"

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  1.   aliekatt2 says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 09

    The guy in the add is hot, I'd definitely accept this rep. LOl j/k. I somewhat agree.

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  2.   Lovein30days says:
    Posted: 26 May 08

    Dating can be a frustrating process because you really never know who you are getting involved with until the person's TRUE nature comes out. I do not believe there is a way around this except to keep your options open while dating and to date at least 3 people at a time (with out the sex of coarse). That way, you do not place all of your eggs in one basket and are disappointed when they break after the person you are dating allows their true unacceptable personality, issues etc to show up. I suggest learning the clues that indicate this person is not for you (i.e. If they are rude to the waiter and do not tip appropriately, they are selfish and a big NO NO for a second date). That way you can cut your ties as early as possible and not waste the precious time that can be used finding the person of your dreams.

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  3.   Nadira says:
    Posted: 25 Apr 08

    first date must impress or there will not be a second

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  4.   HereIamBaby says:
    Posted: 21 Apr 08

    Maybe our friends... or parents should pick our dates??? LOL HOWEVER...I think that the first part of dating is GREAT! Always so romantic...maybe we should only date say 10 times and that is it...then it would always be excieting! Southern smiles and world peace, Sharon

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  5.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 08

    So how long before the real one comes out for a date? Second, third? Or when you're already married and its like holy schnikes Batman

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  6.   fala says:
    Posted: 13 Apr 08

    First date representative? Sounds like an interesting idea. I wonder if Halle Berry is free.

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  7.   Nadira says:
    Posted: 12 Apr 08

    I don't believe that first date should seal whether or not two people will fall in love with one another but rather shows an impression

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  8.   Mosche says:
    Posted: 02 Apr 08

    First of all, the ground work for the "First Date" should be done before you meet. You have some background (i.e. likes, dislikes, family status, etc) on this person prior to the meeting/date. When you finally meet them, you are just marrying the face and voice with actual person standing before you. If you liked this person on the phone, during IM chats, emails, etc...and now you see them and don't like them? Your name should be Shallow Al or Shallow Alice! Be truthful and honest from the start and you won't have to worry about the FDR (First Date Rep). Cheers!

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  9.   sean01 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 08

    Remember first impression are something like 500 times more powerful than subsequent ones, hoo hoo. (That's from a real study.)

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  10.   Lordraiser says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 08

    I just don't believe in wasting my time or others ...it's not worth it in the end ...if a person does not accept you with your faults as well as the good things about yourself ...then don't expect unconditional love from them ...and don't get mad when they fall in love with a fantasy ....and not the real you ....but then I am older and wiser now ....the most important person to me other than God and my children is me ...and I don't mean that in a selfish way ...but it is true...you can't love someone else until you love and appreciate yourself ...but this is just my opinion ...and that's all ...whatever works for the individual is what they should do ....so may God bless each and every one of us with the person that is right for us ...not what the world thinks shoud be right for us ...but the fit for us as individuals ...

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  11.   rissa62 says:
    Posted: 26 Mar 08

    This is a very interesting concept. I believe that if it works for you, then go for it. However, I'm sure most of us are guarded in the beginning because we have not invested a lot emotionally. For me to lay everything out on the table (screaming kids, etc.) shouldn't be part of the initial date. Don't get me wrong. I am "real" all the time; but maybe not as animated all the time. So, there's a time and place for the "drama" to come alive. I just go into the first date with minimal expectations. It's works well for me.

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  12.   Lordraiser says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 08

    I like this idea ...but I think you should find out the real person behind the representative before you go out on a date ....I think this could work for both men and for women ...I don't have the easiest time dating ....I am a very unique individual and I walk to the beat of my own drum ...I always have ....I tried being someone I wasn't once for love ...to make the person I was in love with happy and it did not work ...he still cheated ...so lesson learned be yourself ...I don't mind letting a guy know.... look ...I'm a real person ...with real problems ...obviously the ones who are only interested in me for well I'm sure I don't have to say it ....LOL ...leave ...but that just leaves my life open for the guy that I want to come along ...I must say ...this site is far superior than a lot of the other sites ...there are some really great men on this planet ...and as women ...we have to get beyond ...physical appearance and a guys job title ...my grandmother use to always say "beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes straight to the bone"

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  13.   bigfine1966 says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 08

    mmm I think for some there would be only first dates cause many would run after the first date but it would weed out the fakes and the i really love you baby but.............

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  14.   Sexycynamin says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 08

    Well, you don't want to be to harsh. You will scare the person away. I agree that the first date and probably many afterwards you get the representative (the "closet" effect). Meaning, a lot of people keep stuff in the closet. The true person is not displayed. Although you can go into the first date testing the water, it doesn't mean you will find anything out until date #6. Some people are good at acting and I hate to say, that is aweful. We all are here to meet someone genuine. Unfortunately, we have to go thru the "bad" and maintain that good spirit in hope of finding the "true" person. I challenge all of the "true" people, there is hope at the end of the tunnel. Stay true to yourself and believe the best is yet to come. Have a blessed day.

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  15.   traveler15 says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 08

    I like the idea as well. It all comes down to people being themselves and not putting on a "front".

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  16.   josehp200 says:
    Posted: 22 Mar 08

    hi babe are you you dowin are like your pic babe are like you to be my girls friend am black am from nigeria bort are live in spain babe ae like now you more

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  17.   Kagwiria says:
    Posted: 22 Mar 08

    like the idea, test the mettle so to speak! That is sth. I could go for cause I definitely don't digg the dating representative stuff. This could catch on because I know that a lot of other people are tired of facades, like jack johnson says, where'd all the good people go? I am going to wrest that and ask where'd all the real people go?

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