“Imagine being at your favorite ice cream shop and sampling each irresistible flavor – not just chocolate, vanilla or strawberry, but Mexican fried ice cream, Japanese green tea, a French glacé, or an Italian gelato. Now imagine your dating life being that same kind of scrumptious smorgasbord with someone of a different race, religion, or culture. Sound delicious? Then Swirling: How to Date, Mate & Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed is your must-read book!”
Did that grab your attention? It sure did mine! And the book only gets better from there. See, most people think when entering the interracial zone a “walking on eggshells” approach must be employed at all times. It’s true that such relationships are sometimes hard terrain to navigate. Until now…
Providing a compass are authors Christelyn D. Karazin, known for her popular blog Beyond Black & White, and Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn, a veteran journalist who has written about her own interracial dating saga and why black women should not limit themselves to finding mates within their race. They figured, “Why not write a handbook sharing insights on how to smooth out the road through this exhilarating but sometimes treacherous territory?” Hence, “Swirling!”
The book was recently featured in Essence magazine and reviews have been positive. Many readers identify with the experiences discussed in these pages. It’s a great mix of solid expert advice backed by real-life testimonies from people with successful (and not-so-successful) interracial relationships. Written in a conversational style, it tells the hilarious tales interracial romances can produce.
According to Karazin, “The shortage of black men is real” and black women “… are in jeopardy of never experiencing that kind of love, especially within [their] own race… Is it hating yourself to seek out love with someone who has similar goals, education, and interests?” she asks. Littlejohn adds that black women shouldn’t be “…stuck in lives filled with made-for-soap-opera drama” or settle “for less than they deserve. It is telling when a woman with her master’s degree and making a decent amount of money decides to steal a car with her man just to prove she loves him… all because black women fear cultural isolation from their own community when they mix date and marry.”
Don’t get me wrong – the book isn’t trying to convince people to date outside their race. It just tries to help those who want to do it, do it smoothly. Karazin and Littlejohn have had varied experiences with “swirling” both in dating and marriage. They tell it like it is: Dating out doesn’t mean perfection! Challenges should be expected. But if you know how to handle them, they aren’t a huge deal. The weird stares from passersby, meeting the family, dismissing myths about interracial attraction and sex… It’s all covered here.
Get your copy of “Swirling” at Amazon.com and learn how to smoothen that sometimes-rocky interracial ride.
And for 10 lucky readers of this blog, the book can be yours FREE! Answer the question at the link below for a shot at winning your own copy of “Swirling,” delivered to your door (or inbox). Entries must be received by Sunday 24th June 2012.
Update: Thanks to the masses of readers who entered the draw, we can now announce the 10 winners.
Congratulations to the following readers, your copy of Swirling is in the mail!
Tiffany Peat, Shereece Dodson, Aureliano Rodriguez, Carolyn Perkins, Ralph Greeley, Krisha Arnold, Michael M. Ennis, Debra Moore, Marcia Ware, Raul Echevarria
For all those who missed out on winning a copy, don’t let that stop you, pick up your own copy at Amazon.com – you will NOT regret it!
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My first interracial experience was fine, got some stares, but interracial dating is my preference
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I read the first chapter free on Amazon, its really funny and down to earth. I love Christelyn’s Jumping the broom with a white boy story lol…can’t wait to read the rest!
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My first experience was when I was 14. I lived in a small town and it was highly frowned upon. Now I’m 35 with two biracial children and when I visit my hometown, all you see are “swirled” babies. Times sure have changed.
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I loved this book as it was a fantastic step-by-step guide to the pain, pleasures and pitfalls of interracial relationships. Written in an accessible style, the authors weave in their own life experiences to add the human element to its pages, as they demonstrate that love can conquer all. Make no mistake; this is not a dry, academic self-help book. No, this is a warm, witty and positive book that shows black women how to look elsewhere to find lovers, partners and husbands – whatever society or the propagandists might say. Crucially it stresses that other races do desire black women as wives and long-term partners, rather than just `exotic’ experiments – a point of view that I agree with one hundred per cent. Of course, at this point I should confess to being one of the `converted’ to the nature of `swirling’, as I am a white Englishman happily married to a black Nigerian woman, but I am genuinely pleased that a book of this nature has been published. Women of all races deserve equality and freedom of choice, when it comes to finding personal happiness, and for those wishing to step outside the `norm’ this book is a perfect guide. Doubtless the usual suspects will form an orderly queue to denigrate the authors for `selling-out’, but they are wrong, for this book is about empowering black women to make decisions over their own lives, rather than have them dictated to by others. Essential reading for those men and women who prefer power and joy over oppression
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My interracial dating experiences have been great. I’ve been dating black men exclusively since I was about 17y/o. I have some good experiences and some bad but I don’t regret the choices that I’ve made along the way. I don’t know if I can date within my race..there’s just something about the contrast of the skin colors that just sends me over the edge…
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I am glad bw are finally exploring other options. It increases the likelihood of you getting married. I live in Washington state where bw are marrying all kinds of men Asians, Natives, Indians, whites, middle eastern and everything else. It is about time bw got into this game with everyone else. Don’t let people tell you that other men don’t find you attractive or will not marry you because it happens everyday.
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Love does not discriminate u just go in for the one that u like most wheither he or she is black or white we are all the same human being created by one GOD so lets love our selves as the bible says or talk about love
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CHARRHIM88′s statement is so true! We are all made the same and by the one and only God!
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@ Reese I am hopeful and happy as well, not just for bw but all women…We have all inherently had the same otions as our male counterparts..but somehow we have neglected to move forward with our interest or desires. As bw we often sought to support our bm, no matter how foul his attitude has been toward us in the past…I remember getting so angry when I would see a bm with a woman of another race.(especially if he was an accompolished male) to me at that particular time, it was as if to say he has arrvied, but we weren’t good enough for him in his triumphs..ultimately, he would then choose a wf or any other female, but not us..honestly, that bothered me, .but then I realized that I had the same options that were given bm, it was also applicable to me..We have always had the choice to be with whom ever we wanted to be with…We just never asserted ourselves in fulfilling those needs. My first interracial experience lasted almost 7 years, and although it did end..I will always look for that type of relationship again and again…It truly works for me…I’m not saying that I wouldn’t date a bm….but when I think about…why limit myself when there are so many options…My opinion, you’ll never know how happy or fulfilled you can be if you limit yourself to what’s in your own back yard….the old saying “variety is the spice of life” holds very true. You simply have to be open to it…it will happen, and when it does…take it as far as you both can…it will be worth it!
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Girl, you are right you just have to have to let them find you. Best of luck to you in your search.
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I really have no preference as far as dating men as a black woman i prefer 2 be more available because I feel being happy n comfortable with who ur involved with matters more than anything. I am more interested in getting to know a Guy as a individual but since sex became so so easy finding Mr Right is like looking for a needle in a haystack..
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I feel that if you are just opened to dating anyone regardless of their color and you are about how the person is,then I am all for it,BUT if you are someone who just prefer to date a particular race and have something against dating your own,then you are a sellout and you should be ashamed of yourself.
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5 (-1)
I would like to read the book. I am separated for 11 years and is looking for a new loved one. would like to read this book
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@713mandingo I completely disagree if you’re not attracted to the same race then don’t date them. I never date within my race I prefer a woman of color! Not just because of physical attributes but because I love a strong educated woman, and they tend to be black not saying other races aren’t. But for the sake of my opinion it’s just how I feel I need a woman who can challenge me intelligently and sexually… We should build a life together.
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I can’t wait to read this book. I also agree that love has no color. I’ve dated out of my race as well..I want someone who is good for me and to me. don’t care what color he is.
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Some comments one can keep to themselves. Really.
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Reading this now!! It’s a good read, a lot of publishing errors but other than that, it has a lot of useful information in it!
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I purchased the book through my kindle when it came out. Wish I had it 27 years ago. Maybe then I would have been able to handle my marriage better. If you are in a mixed culture relationship this book is a MUST read.
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What a helpful and humurous book for those who are looking to swirl.
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Sounds good and interesting hoping to get the experince soon
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It’s really encouraging… mmmmh
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Where can we go to read the winning submissions?
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