Surviving divorce … Sleeping alone

Posted by James, 04 Jun 08

The best time of my day is just before I sleep … The time when I get to cuddle my one and only so tight and kiss her goodnight. That is the highlight of my day. And when she is not around, I barely sleep – that of course is after having enough shots of tequila to knock me right to sleep.

Now imagine sleeping alone in that king size bed you are used to sharing with your wife or husband for years on end. I am taking about sleeping alone after divorce. How does one get used to the moved piece of cheese?

Theo Pauline Nestor Writing professor and mother of two wrote a moving memoir about separation and renewal (How to Sleep Alone in a King-Size Bed) after watching her marriage come to screeching halt in like a split of a second. Here, she discusses how she battled with shock, denial, adjustment and acceptance attached to the process of divorce. And you know what she was adjusting to? Discovering her husband’s gambling habit, which wiped out the family’s finances.

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Nester’s story is more than that warm blanket you need to beat those cold nights sleeping alone … it provides relatability. And what she does is take her reader through the transition to her new roles as single mother, woman and breadwinner, with humor, honesty and insight.

Well after her long struggle, she conquers her partner-less no-one-to-cuddle life and she concludes with some advice: “I don’t know if I feel happier, but I feel real-er.᾿

Anyways, who said divorce is easy. Surviving it is a work in progress. Read it and let me know what you think.

7 responses to "Surviving divorce … Sleeping alone"

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  1.   wildcat1976 says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 09

    I am going through it now. I have been divourced for two years and I am now just getting comfortable with dating again. The sleeping alone thing is the hardest for me because thats when your alone and all your fears and doubts surface when your alone. But at same time almost afraid to take the steps to have that someone else there because afraid it will be gone again. So help where do I go from here.

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  2.   Member says:
    Posted: 14 Aug 08

    kabonfootprint great thanks, i love it... busby seo challenge

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  3. Posted: 11 Aug 08

    Although divorce itself was horrible and extremely painful, it didn't take long to adjust to sleeping alone again. Having a dog did help make the house seem less empty. She could listen and comfort me and was always happy to see me come home. (And she didn't turn the electric bed warmer up to "stun" either! lol) There IS life after divorce. :-)

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  4.   Daniel says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 08

    I read similar article also named iving divorce Sleeping alone : Interracial Dating Blog, and it was completely different. Personally, I agree with you more, because this article makes a little bit more sense for me

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  5.   Member says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 08

    Hi there! I am thoroughly impressed with your knowledge of Separation And Divorce. Your insights into this article about Separation And Divorce was well worth the the time to read it. I thank you for posting such awsome information. Signed James Kryten on this Day Friday.

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  6.   Dy41 says:
    Posted: 29 Jun 08

    Well, surviving divorce isn't as easy for some. I had a friend who was going through it at the same time and she recommended that I too see a "head shrinker". And it did help in the healing process too. After 12 years of marriage and add another to the mix, it was quite the adjustment sleeping alone again especially since my other half like to toss his leg across me. I missed the warmth and the protection and then I realized that I had another dog too! And this trusty friend was womans best friend! He was loyal, protecting, warm and all he needed was to be let out! And gave me his unconditional love until he departed this earth. And I could sleep with him and not have a leg over me! Life does go on and the sleeping alone does get easier and a new guy always helps! :)

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  7.   gmmonica says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 08

    Being older and dating unfortunately doesn't make you all the wiser. Some people just aren't paying attention while on their journey in life. They just live life plugging away, sometimes struggling plugging away and not really looking or paying attention to their life, period.. sort of like being in a Robotic mode. If we would just take the time to take a good look at ourselves and failed relationships and look as to why WE failed and stop playing the blame game because in a relationship it really takes two to tango. Not forgetting our failures but learning from them then setting them free.. will in urn set us free and will help our learning curb in life. Walk with your eyes wide open. In a relationship there are many factors involved that make-up a successful relationship and when me allow ourselves to believe that a piece of paper will keep our relationships together, we are highly mistaken.. Then we sit back and cry as to not knowing why we are looking down that lonely road again and always blaming the other person and never looking in the mirror at our-selves, big mistake. Learning in life that life is sort of like a dance and learning how to dance without too many stumbles is the trick to a successful life and in turn our relationships. Paying attention to the little and big lessons in life, are essential to living a long and happy life. Building good memories now, so that when we grow old and immobile, where all we can do is only sit around and reflect on the "good old days", we want to remember that "today" we are working on those "good old days of tomorrow". Not allowing anyone to get in the way of you building on those good old days, (meaning getting ride of negative people, factors ect.) will ensure true happiness in our golden and silver years even if it means building them on our own, and not being afraid of being on our own. Trying to live your life to the fullest, is the key. Looking at your mistakes and move on, never looking at them again except to know you'll never go back there again. Not blaming you or your partner but definitely move on because holding on to a bitter memory only means cheating yourself. Grace (smile)

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