I once asked you guys in an earlier post: “Do dating sites encourage racial prejudice?” Well, a UC Irvine study claims that online daters have a tendency of observing racial stereotypes while seeking potential mates.
The researchers analyzed Yahoo personals and found that White men prefer Asian and Hispanic women to African American women as dating partners. White women on the other hand have a preference for African American and Hispanic men as opposed to Asian men. Asians, Blacks and Latinos were more inclined to include White people as possible mates than White people were to include them. White people seem to be the most preferred race when it comes to interracial dating.
Cynthia Feliciano, one of the researchers and UCI assistant professor of sociology and Chicano/Latino studies, pegs the above preference findings on negative portrayals of Black women and Asian men by the media – on TV, in movies and music. “Stereotypical images of masculinity and femininity shape dating choices and continue to be perpetuated in the mass media,” said Feliciano, “The hyper-feminine image of Asian American women contrasts greatly with the image of Asian men, who are often portrayed as asexual.”
At the same time, the image of the strong Black woman, portrayed negatively by media as bossiness, is pegged against the idealized notions of submissive and frail women; which kinda explains why they were the least preferred choice of mate. This study on internet dating shows how race still plays into the selection of a partner.
Having been dubbed the ‘dominant race’ and being the most preferred racial group (according to the study), do you think White people influence the composition of interracial dating in the U.S.? Do racial stereotypes as portrayed by the media influence racial preference and choice in the internet dating scene? What other factors could be making Black women and Asian men the least preferred groups?
FearlessCrusader, I can only speak of MY experiences. And that is what I spoke. If that is prejudice and one-sided so be it. But I don’t believe that is the case. I am one of the rare black women who WANTS marriage (at my age it’s now too late for children) and would actually prefer a white man. Having said that, I will not marry just any white man just for the sake of marrying. All the same I would not want a man, any man, who just marries me for the sake of marrying. That would be settling. No one should settle. EVER. It would make for some miserable people.
Regarding your other statements–unfortunately it is commonplace for people to have sex without marriage and not just black women. I have actually found that even Christian men (or those claiming to be) expect sex when just dating. How can they expect God’s blessings on a relationship steeped in sin? I know this may offend some people but truth is truth whether you believe it or practice it.
No, those statistics you mention do not signify any amount of progress. My observation is that everyone needs “to stop playing games and get serious about your relationships.”
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panda ; Enjoy life as you see fit / We do as it is Our lives We have to live .
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Panda, enjoy your love and your life. Unfortunately there will always be ignorant people opening their mouths and just blowing hot air. Think about the many bi-racial people who have gone far in life–President Obama, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Alicia Keyes, Derek Jeter, Gloria Reuben, Grant Hill, Lenny Kravitz, Lisa Bonet, Soledad O’Brian, Tiger Woods. Gosh, I could go on and on, but these are bi-racial people that had to have an identity in order to do something extraordinary with their lives.
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Panda, life is way too short to worry about what others will think. True love is one of those things that doesn’t come by too often so when it does, you’d better buckle up and enjoy the ride.
It’s all about loving and being loved that makes life worth while.
Peace
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Geez where do I even begin. I have to say I have noticed a great deal of racial stereotypes in general, not only online. My most recent encounters have been online and the mostly came from black men. Oddly enough I have had just as many black men if not more contact me then white men. I am open to all races of men to date so I welcome that whole heatedly.
I have been contaced on this site by black men who exclude black from their choices (which is fine, in fact I would rather them do so, that way I don’t waste my efforts)Anyways I am amazed at some of the conversations that I have with black men many of the black males on this site who’s profiles I have read and have had email or phone contact with are nothing less than ANTI-BLACK. One black guy contacted me (his box for black women was actually checked) and we had a few conversations, I cut off communication because I got tired of the stereotypes. He sounded like a very ignorant person who sits on a porch and says “gee look it must be true it was on TV” (spit)Our last conversation was pivotal he couldn’t understand if I was so intelligent and so nice why I didn’t have someone in my life. I must have a chip on my shoulder and be very hard to get along with. He also said here is an example of the difference between a black woman and a white woman; “if we are sitting down watching TV and I say honey can you get me a glass of water the white woman will say okay sweetheart I will be back, but the black woman will say get it yourself and will roll her eyes and neck”. IS HE SERIOUS???
I read a profile of a very attractive black man who lives in Richmond VA where I live. I always check to look at profiles in my area I don’t single out race. His profile was very stereotypical. Here is what he is looking for………..Hmm lets see a little about me hard working honest down to earth loyal and easy to please. I’m a simple guy who just wants one white woman who is down to earth looking for more than a booty call and oh this is very important who is not ghetto if I wanted a thug chick id get a blk girl if every other word out of ur mouth is cursing and swearing just hit the x. Dont care how hot u think u are we wont click other than that I’m not real picky. Oh not really in to skinny chicks no offense ladies but I’m 6’5 250 and I like a woman with some size to her not saying that its impossible for me to date someone small framed but just my preference bigger is better lol. I’m tall so if u not into tall guys I’m not ur man oh another thing if u got like a crazy baby dad or kids that dont respect u nor will they respect me I’m not ur guy. I love kids but not bad ones very big turn off lol wow guess I’m starting to sound picky guess I better end this on a lighter note I’m funloving faithful and very affectionate. I’m looking for someone I can fall in love with and cant live without not really trying to settle for someone who is ms right now but ms right P. S the less drama the better I’m laid back and not into arguing or drama I’m big on communication so I think its the key to a great relationship so thats enough rambling black women are just not my preference so if u are blk dont hit me up thanks………………………………………..
BLACK MEN is OKAY if you prefer or exclusively date out of your race. I am very confident and when I see you in public I speak to you and your mate I don’t do evil stares.
IT IS NOT OKAY to categorize myself and the myriad of other black women who cant identify with the ridiculous stereotypes that you apply to all of us unfairly.
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oh boy :S
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Ok, I know I am way late jumping in on this one and truthfully I lost patience and zoomed through many of the above posts but I think this is the most hilarious interracial dating site I have ever come across. Initially when I came here I was interested in dating a white guy, still am if he’s a good fit, but since I have been on here I have gotten more flirts from black men than anyone else!
This wouldn’t be strange if this site was specifically for interracial dating. However, like many of the users on here I am open to different types and there is no one I would disqualify simply because of ethnicity which is why I leave it open.
Another thing is I no longer flirt with White men or any other unless they either initiate and include Black/African descent in their preference or they have solely Black Women for preference and have given specific shout out to Black Women. Why? Because I believe there are many White guys on here who are interested only in Black Women that fall more into the Beyonce’/Halle Berry category than they are open to one that falls into the Gabrielle Union/Garcelle Beauvais category.
Just my thoughts.
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Ooops I meant to summarize that what I think this all boils down to is fear of rejection. White men who are interested in Black women don’t approach us because of that fear and I now have my own fear of rejection from the White guys that don’t consider me their “type.” I’m just not willing to put myself out there like that anymore. A wise person once said “go where you are loved” and I want to expand on that by saying “go where you are shown love.” Whether a man is White, Black, Asian, or Latino – if he can’t SHOW me love then he can’t have me. Period.
One.
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comment to Panda,
Sorry you and your gentleman friend have to put up with so much foolishness. Follow your heart and enjoy your life.
Comment to loves2laugh,
RIGHT ON!!! I agree with a lot of your statements.
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O.k So I’m gonna do a NoPlaya and post this enourmaously long fricken (Stevie Wonder Type) Response here. (Yall no Stevie cain’t ever shut up! tee-hee)
There are some good comments on here, as well as some bad comments. Hence preference. I think this issue goes both ways.
Example one; The other day I was in Starbucks ( I live in Los Angeles and we can’t make it a day w/o it) getting my Green Tea Frapachino, and the girl at the counter asked my name and I said Alie and then stood to the side to wait for my drink.
As it was I happened to see a HOTTT! lol young man waiting for his drink as well. He had to at least be 6’4, gorgeously tanned, with big beautiful blue eyes. He checked me out, I checked him out( you know the lil eye games that men and women play).
Anyway, the girl called my name and his at the same time, but being polite I waited till he got his drink first. He left and I figured that was my lil flirtation for the day. When I got my drink, I saw that he had scribbled his name and number on my cup! (Very suave I might add lol).
Unfortunately he was only 25 years old lol. (Not a cougar yet lol, might be soon though if they keep looking like that!)
That’s usually my problem, no one believes that I’m almost 41 years old, and it seems to be only the young ones that are interested in me. However, this shows that white men are interested in light skinned women.
Albeit, there is both and upside to interracial dating as well. Second example;
Week before last on another site)
I was messaged by a guy, and he seemed nice enough and I added him as a friend (38 yrs). We did the message thing back and forth for a while, then he asked if I wanted to meet ( wasn’t really sure on that part).
Well I asked him if he read that I was mixed. Unfortunately when one is Latin, or part Latin, America seems to only think of Hispanic. But for Cubanita, Bocuia’s, Dominicanas, Costa Ricanos and the like, we consider ourselves Island people (like Jamaicans) not Hispanic.
Well this is what he wrote back to me;
IT SAYS LATINO SO, I HAVE NO PROBLEM THERE. IF YOU HAVE BLACK IN YOU I CAN’T DO IT. BE BACK THA WAY WHEN I HOOK UP WITH A DECENT JOB. SO IF YOUR BLACK PLEASE DROP ME OF YOUR FRIENDS. IF NOT KEEeP IN CONTACT AND WE WILL SEE ANY THING ISPOSSIBLE WITH
RESPECTS
This was the first time that I had ever experienced this as far as dating goes.
I was shocked, to say the least.I nearly fell off my chair. Not only could he not spell, nor did he have a job, but I have never received a message like this in my life. I grew up in the Hollywood hills, and have never experienced anything like this. Sh*t, the first real boyfriend I ever had was white!
This makes me more sad than angry, because it simply states that America is still very ingrained in its archaic beliefs, and I thank GOD that my parents didn’t believe this way, or I wouldn’t be here.
Maybe this is why I’m having such a hard time of getting my book published, because there are people like this person still out there.
So I was talking with a colleague( him white, me mixed) from work a few days ago,and we were discussing the blog I left in the wee hours of the marnin, on my website and thinking on a logical intellectual perspective. I’m still clueless as to why someone would be that blatant about race.
So my fellow teacher says that, everyone should be entitled to their preference, w/o someone seeing them as racist. And the very fact that I took it this way says that I am judging him unfairly, because it is his preference to date who he chooses.
O.k. granted, it is his preference,but to send someone a message like that still boggles my mind. Wouldn’t it have been more polite, to just simply say something like, “since we live so far away,I think it wouldn’t work?” or ” I’m never in one place for long periods of time so the long distance thing doesn’t work for me?”
There are millions of excuses that someone could use, to blow someone off without a direct reference to their race. Not to mention he asked me if I would be interested in meeting him? I never once took it outside of just an online friend.
My colleague’s answer to this was; “So you automatically assumed that he’s a racist because he has a preference?”
My answer to this; OMG! Of course not. But my Profile states clearly in the bio what I am mixed with, and unless he couldn’t read, didn’t read it, or took it on face value that because I am of a light complexion that I was full blood Mexican, because this is what Hispanic is, he’s just an idiot.
Not to mention there are several ways that one can extradite themselves from a situation like this w/o referring to race. And the simple fact that not only did he say that he couldn’t date me because I have black blood, but he told me to remove him from my friends page.
How else could one explain this? (scratches head here)
If anyone out there has a clue, please clue me in, because I can not fathom an explanation for this.
My friend had no explanation for this part either (tee-hee).
However my Alternative friend said that this is a total Hetero problem, because in the rainbow world, heart, mind and soul make all the difference, and if the person is hot that’s just a plus. He said that this is a commonly found Hetro problem, because they would never think about the person’s skin color before they dated them.
And they’re the ones who get bashed sheesh!; maybe if the Hetro world had this attitude, we’d all get along ahellva lot better.
So here is an example for both sides, and once again preference rules out. If you’re attracted to a person truly ( guy with the cup) then skin color doesn’t matter.
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@aliekatt2
I promise to try and make my point with as few words as posible in the future!
Peace!
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Well stated Olypian!!
Shotgun007
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Those that were wondering if I was joking about the Yahoo Personals comment back in June….its quite obvious it was ajoke.
The funny thing about blogs is that people tend to get emotionally trapped in someone’s comment and take every word literal.
I love when people post a huge rebuttal or comment. It allows me to use my scroll key that is built into my touchpad. I never get to use it otherwise.
For those that take my comments verbatim and don’t understand sophomoric and facetious comments, I mean every word so …
… Yes I was paying $25 to look at 12 year olds claiming to be 18. I am massively into Asian women, ages 12-99. I use my EBT card to pay for it all. My profile is a hoax. I am actually a Nigerian scammer sitting in a cybercafe in Lagos.
Thanks. Go ahead and comment.
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WHURR, I often wonder if I have too much time on my hands if I’m spending it reading and commenting on blogs like this one. I just might.
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@Alie – I love your long post – it was fun to read
The ‘remove me from your friends’ part seems a bit much… but, you know, some people on dating sites don’t like writing to people if they’ve absolutely made up their minds that it’s a ‘no go’… So, giving him the benefit of the doubt, it may just be that he’s not looking to accumulate casual friends here…
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M.Eliot kudos to you! You make an excellent point when using Keanu Reeves as an example.
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Using “Yahoo” as a tool to measure dating preferences is like utilizing “Wikipedia” as a source on a Doctoral Thesis Paper!! Totally unreliable!!
If we want to find out which are THE most or least preferred derived solely from the perspective of dating/courtship, then why not poll Caucasian Men from various backgrounds and from many countries. Or better yet, set up Blind Focus Groups.
Makes no sense…Another dumb survey.
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Great posts! Very enlightening! Thank you all!
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i know might be a bit off topic but mmh it won’t stop me from chipping in my 2cents
i guarantee that acting white or acting black is a term created by african americans because they are pretty much the only people that i hear using those term. its unfortunate that when you are loud
HOW SOME AFRICAN AMERICANS DEFINE ACTIING BLK/WHT
Acting black: Loud, obnoxious, ignorant and uncultured.
Acting white: polished, uses proper grammar, poised and speaks gently.
Isn’t this quite unfortunate? African Americans tend to sideline themselves because many find it ok to refer to a white male socializing w/them as “white boy or whitie” but it is not ok to do the same to them. it is ok for a “brotha” or a “sista” or any one that acts quite ghetto to use the N-word ending w/an A but not a white person. one of the major reasons for this sideline might be because a lot of african american women feel the urge to possess a good hair, lighter skin, and things of that nature. Am sure a white man that wants to date a black woman wants a black woman. not a black woman that wants to look white. i know many african americans that refer to black ppl w/really dark skin tone as purple, night or some other nonsense like that.
HOW DO YOU EXPECT OTHERS TO SEE YOU IN POSITIVE LIGHT WHEN YOU AS A RACE CAN’T EVEN SEE ONE ANOTHER IN A A POSITIVE LIGHT??
ps: the statistics in this article is once again nonsensical with 1 or 2 points that actually makes sense.
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Congratulations, you found love!
However, I am trying to understand why it appears that when Brothers ‘achieve,’ they leave…
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