Robin Thicke's take on Black women being urged to date White

Posted by Ria, 10 Jan 12

Coming from a White man who has been married for six years to a Black woman, actress Paula Patton, the same Black woman he has known and been with since high school for 18 years, the advice I expected from soul singer Robin Thicke on the media telling Black women that they will be better off dating White, was a definite "YES!". Well much to my surprise, he thinks it’s ridiculous and doesn’t believe White men are the ideal 'plan B'!

In his interview with Essence, Thicke had a lot of good things to say about Black men:

"… There are so many good Black men out there that are hardworking, decent, and handsome, you know? … There are great Black men out there. There are only a few good White men -- trust me. (Laughs) Good luck finding a good White man who understands your journey. I only have three White friends. I’ve got 20 Black male friends, who are all good men who take good care of their wives, and good care of their children. I know amazing Black men. Maybe the women have to take better care of their men. Maybe you’re being too stubborn. Maybe you’re not saying you’re sorry. You have to take good care of him, too. You have to give love to get love."

But having said all that, Thicke acknowledges that Black people … especially Black women go through a different experience in life. Having been with a black woman for such a long time one would think he knows everything about Black women. But even so, Paula still told him in the middle of an argument: "… no matter how hard you try, or how compassionate you are, you’ll never know what it’s like to be a Black woman." So he got up and wrote a song "I Don’t Know How It Feels to Be You," which is on his new album "Love and War," with the lyrics:

"I don’t know how it feels to be you, though I try my best to understand what you’re going through, I don’t know how it feels to be you. I can’t walk in your shoes. But, I’m trying baby. You know how much I love you."

Well, to be in an interracial relationship for this long and still have lots of good things to say about your woman… Now this is a white man who knows how to love and understands Black women! He is one of the few White men every Black woman looking to date interracially deserves!

250 responses to "Robin Thicke's take on Black women being urged to date White "

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  1.   Pamalamb says:
    Posted: 21 Mar 13

    i have always prefered the company of white men and an article like this just makes me wonder am i supposed to feel less black because of a personal preference

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  2.   UlLuvDis says:
    Posted: 24 Nov 12

    Thicke is my dude but I don't see how him having 10 times as many black friends assists in substantiating his point. Furthermore, I don't feel that attacking an opposing spectrum (in this case, white men) to praise the other is the right way and commendable way to go about making a point. I'm disappointed that he portrayed himself to be a self-loathing individual.

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  3.   sasejoe says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 12

    I am not particularly sure if I gained anything from this article. The articles shining moment was when it attacked the stereotype of black men. Though horrible premise for the attack on white men. Please do better than "trust me". Overall though, I am not really sure what this article sought to accomplish. Black men are great husbands? White men are bad husbands? White men cannot understand Black women? If you get up and write a cheesy song in the middle of an interview on interracial relationships you're a savant?

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  4. Posted: 06 Jul 12

    When you think about, it is ridiculous to draw arbitrary lines between the many shades and mixtures of beautiful in our race. All of that is just pure, unadulterated, tomfoolery. Somewhere down the line, we are all most likely made up of any number of ethnicities. Who decides when a person can or cannot choose to self identify with a particular ethnicity that she chooses to? To all of you who do not consider Paula "Black" then what percent of African heritage does one have to have to be black enough to be considered "Black" in your opinion? 60%, 80%, 100%...? Do you even know someone of 100% African heritage? Hell, quiet as kept, maybe you're not black enough to be considered "Black" either!

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  5.   traceym77 says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 12

    Paula self identifies as Black.. lots of mixed light women do. and Robin is most black in his cultural identification himself.. So she would fit right into his life and he would fit into hers..

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  6.   ljohnson12 says:
    Posted: 04 Jul 12

    Great!!!! I Love the dialogue. This is how we start dealing with these type of issues.

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  7.   Nylia says:
    Posted: 02 Jul 12

    You know I read the article and a lot of the comments. I grew up in the 1960's: A radical time. I was on the tail end of the Black movement. However, my father taught us not to think that because we were black we were below anyone nor were we above anyone. My siblings and I took that different ways. Although I am dark, a lot of my friends were mixed with skin tones ranging from extreme high yellow to dark brown. What I learned was that all of us went through hard time because of our skin color. I so wanted to be light skinned when I was younger because in school, at that time, all the brothers only talked to light skinned girls first. Indeed some of my girlfriends used to say you either had to be light skinned, had long hair and/or light colored eyes. If you were neither of these then you better have a fine body. Being honest, I started dating non black men(I have dated different cultural men) because I received no play from my own black brothers. However, when I was with my non black man, my black brothers would make rude comments or in some cases want to fight my non black man. Long story short I have a son who is bi-racial. He is having a hard time because he was called a "white boy" by his black peers and a "n****r" by some non black peers. I have to say either way, it is hateful. My chosen sister is black and mexican, but she is my sister and I love her and I hate it when she is mistreated. What I believe is there is no blanket to fit all. What Robin and his wife are going through is real to them; enough so that his wife has identified with who she is in heart. I have since learned that I date non black men because that is who I am attracted to. I love my dark skin, but I equally love others because of who they are and not the color of their skin. Believe me, some people carry a lot of baggage and have a lot of hang-ups. I choose to be as real as I can be and love me in all my glory. Now I believe I can love my man (whoever my future man is) with a purity of heart.

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  8. Posted: 11 Jun 12

    I am a black woman with West Indian/Caribbean heritage. Caribbean people are all types of mixed up. I have african, indian and white running through my veins. However, I look like a black woman. Fact of the matter is, lighter skinned people are more accepted. even in 2012. Black women get shitted on. Sad but true. A large number of black men dont even want to be with brown/dark skinned black woman. "The closer to Kim Kardashian or Beyonce, the close to God" smh...I've always said that Black women are on the bottom of the totem pole when it comes to what men (majority) really want. So the white folks can attempt to understand, its like blondes vs brunettes in the white community. Blonde hair and blue eyes always wins. In the black community, light skinned always wins. No matter how ugly she is. It's just those "attractive attributes" that turns people's heads. Black women are loved for our curvy bodies and full lips along with our soulful swag. But mostly our physical attributes. Its sad but true. But black women are not in high demand in the USA. point blank, period. But people who appear mixed get to play the game. Use the black title to get "cool" points. Cuz we all know that being "black, urban-esque" is "cool" and explains her curvy body and full lips. As people say, "Its the best of both world" HA! Dont get me started on that. In closing, I am a black woman and love being black. I love my chocolate skin, my hair, my shape and everything else about my blackness. But the American media, past history and ignorance keeps ppl confused and insecure. For the mixed ppl out there, keep it real and say ur mixed. Denying ur other half for whatever reason is LAME, WACK and sad. How stupid would I look tellin folks that I'm native indian cuz my grandparents were 3/4 indian, not black?!?!!! I look black and have black parents. WTF!?!? Love yourself. Anyone who knows me can tell u i LOOOOOOOVE me and will tell the world that I love being black. Despite what the majority favors.

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    • sylviakhalan says:
      Posted: 05 Aug 13

      What is oddly strange is that.... Caucasians aren't seeing that they are Nazi lovers...Blonde Hair/Blue Eyes....a total Hitler "Aryan" thing.... Why it's still alive and the MEDIA makes it so angelic/popular is beyond me. Humans ALL know that tanning beds and tanning wouldn't be so popular if it weren't for the beauty of us brown, dark skinned honeys! Darker skin is seen in competitions (weight lifting, etc.) as healthy! Only the extreme wealthy, and extreme poor Caucasians are told alabaster skin, blonde hair, and light colored eyes are they way to more wealth and the perfect mate! too bad the middle class are listening to that crap now a days also.

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  9.   oneguy814 says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 12

    @TIM1975 You can't move into the future clinging to the past. I AGREE! Time to grow up, and take the blinders off and see that we are the nightmare that caused Walter Plecker to institute this "one-drop" rule to "stop" us from passing for "white". This sounds like 1920's America: White Anglo-Saxon Society, Neo-Nazis, the "one drop" people who are afraid that some "tainted" person will get into their "club". And the so-called "Black" community has played their game because it sometimes suited their aims-that is sad-they have played into the "divide and conquer" routine against people who just want to love as in Loving vs.the State of Virginia 1967. I would like to point out that Mrs. Loving was also a Rappahanock Indian, as well as possessing black and white ancestry. I believe the lines will blur even more as people are TRUTHFUL about who they are attracted to. That is called "spiritual evolution". Why not abandon "Plecker-ism" and move forward into the future? The discussion of Mrs. Thicke's features and biracialness is so "then". It shouldn't be applied to "now".

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  10.   Bebe says:
    Posted: 03 Jun 12

    So, not trying to be mean. I was like ohhhh yeah he is married to a Black woman , and I scrolled over to her picture and was like ohhhh? This article all out confused me. How can someone claim to understand the "Black Experience" from being with someone that is half White? I see her as Biracial and to me how they both seem to dismiss the other part of herself is strange and sad. I am not knocking the Black Experiences she think she has had, but still believe they are different from someone who has two Black parents. People can identify with what race they want, but in the end you have to look in the mirror and love you, the whole ypu

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  11.   Oddz says:
    Posted: 03 Jun 12

    (about issues stemming from understanding one another's culture and way of being)

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  12.   Oddz says:
    Posted: 03 Jun 12

    Personally, I would be like Brian from 'Something New' - easygoing but kind of tired with talking about the issue. If a man supports his woman no matter what then what's the problem? It seems like there'd only be a problem in the relationship if someone had a continued insecurity about a feature of their self or their lover.

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  13.   BlackLady41 says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 12

    The multiracial or mixed race category is likely the most correct label for Patton although identity is formed by both external and internal forces. The 2000 census was the first opportunity that mixed race people were allowed to select more than one category or write in a racial category. Race is a social construction (the Hispanic category is no longer deployed as a racial category in the 2010 U.S. census though it was once deployed as such for decades). Genomic science has long declared that humans share 99% of their DNA and that within group variability is far higher than the genetic variability between groups. This is old news. See www.understandingrace.org to understand the race question better is my suggestion.

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  14.   jamie303 says:
    Posted: 28 May 12

    She identifies as black thats all tjat matters ppl are down grading this just because she is mixed? Why argue about what ethnicity she.is when she CLEARLY states she is a black woman.. my mother is half and half and my father is black.. my mother identifies herself as a black woman not because she had black features but because that was whatshe felt she was. Some ppl say now adays the one drop of blood rule doesn't apply but lets remember it wasn't much long ago when iit did...

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  15.   goddessa says:
    Posted: 27 May 12

    to all the people proclaiming that paula patton is black. she is not black! she is biracial.the one drop rule is just an old racist rule used to keep larger numbers of people in slavery.Ultimately i am fine with paula Iding with whatever race she wants to. but she is no more BLACK than she is WHITE. I am only stateing that she does not share the genotype of a west african person.She looks bi racial or mediterranean. Her features match more closely with her white ancestry.she can call herself asian,purple or alien it doesnt change the dominant gene expression that shows in her face,hair,nose and skin.

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  16.   jamie303 says:
    Posted: 27 May 12

    Wow I find it very ignorant for all of these people trying to say she isn't black.. she is black and it has nothing to do with her body or how she doesn't look black..just ignorance....

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  17.   cherry011 says:
    Posted: 26 May 12

    Paula is Biracial ! In an interview she said she finds being called biracial to be offensive to her; so she claims herself to be black!

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  18.   jesrprataim says:
    Posted: 19 May 12

    I disagree with Robin Thicke's opinion that there are few good (single?) White men out there. I believe there are good White men, infinitum, desiring by their side a good Black woman. Those men are doing what they can to meet a Black woman who is compatible and open-minded. Furthermore, personal journeys are unique to all men and women. So through communication and patience a man and a woman will be enlightened as to each other's journey or "know what it's like for me."

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    • caramelnsyd says:
      Posted: 24 May 12

      I disagree with him too. I think he was negatively speaking about his race because he has so many black friends and didn't want to offend them by making a comment that could be misconstrued as saying "yeah I take care of your (black) women better than you do".

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  19.   Bird_S.A says:
    Posted: 13 May 12

    All I know is, I thank God for Nelson Mandela's freedom, coz he freed a whole lot of other blacks. We still have a lot of racism, but I will not let that stand in my way or blind me in any way. We are all equal in my eyes, mind and heart. The day I decided to really let go of this whole thing was when I started dating this handsome(bites lower lip), white guys, who I love, very much and he loves me(well, atleast he says he does and acts it too). He got really offended when I raised the 'skin color' issue and tht's when I decided it was time to stop dwelling on the negetive issues, especially if they don't build, bt break me. The only negetivity we get, if u r a mixed couple, is from em white people(I guess they r still bitter), but I don't give a rat's ass, cuase my man is not bothered by the color of my skin, besides, he fights that batlle for me. The one thing that I have come to realize am practise, a lot is ignoring any1 who passes a racist comment or acts so. Do what I came to do and bounce. Aint got no time for nonsenses and the next time I see u, I tell u calmly tht I did not keep quiet and walk away because I was scared, but because I know we r bound to bump into each other again and God knows u'll need help from me, or worse, I'll need help from u, but had I reacted to ur comment when u passed, I or u would be doomed. The nice thing about white people hear(dnt know about other countries or continents) is that they don't hold grudges and can easily see when they r fighting a battle alone and dnt even have a reason for tht battle. They come around.

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  20.   Asani82 says:
    Posted: 13 May 12

    how about it shouldn't even be an issue. how about that. who cares what you are only in america people label and judge like its cool if she is mixed and considers herself black thats her right as a human being. no one in america is one thing people are mixed wether your black or white people and been mixing for years. WHOOOO CARESSS! as long as they long each other thats all that matters. they are human beings who love and accept one another now that i know is a beautiful courtship. thank you and good bye.

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  21.   Lovely2see says:
    Posted: 12 May 12

    I am shocked by how much people don't recognize their own heritage. During slavery and the civil rights era, if you had one drop of black blood, you were considered black. My mom was forsaken by her family because of my grandmother was with a light skinned black man in the 50s, although there is not a visible part of her that would suggest that she is African-American, she was thrown into foster care when her german great grandmother died because her white familly didn't want any black boods (visible or not) in their lives. I've been harrassed by own people that I'm not black to them because of my education, skin tone, and it is the height of ignorance. It gets tiring to being looked down upon by both blacks and whites because your too light or too dark and therefore you're ancestry doesn't mean a thing. Everyone's opinion should count but it would be nice if it was backed up with a little "knowledge" instead of false assumptions.

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  22. Posted: 11 May 12

    Goodness! Why care who's black, white, mixed or whatever. Fact is we all came from the same gene pool in what is now Africa. Biological changes--both internal and external--were due to environmental conditions, nutrition, die out and intermarriage over the centuries. Basically, WE ARE ALL COUSINS no matter how many times removed. I know I won't see it in my lifetime but race just should not matter. The person should matter. How they treat others should matter. How you feel about the person you are attracted to is what's important, not what other people think--myself included. For a so-called higher-level species we can be so petty at times. Hope the coming generations can get it right.

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  23.   niceguy00 says:
    Posted: 02 May 12

    Let me say this also ,no matter what race you or I are ,we are still brothers and sisters in the lords eyes ,to him all races matter ,none of us are no different from the other to him ,so why cant we be the same way ,instead of trying to figure out whos who ,she and he are our sisters and brothers no matter what color they are ,or raised by

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  24.   niceguy00 says:
    Posted: 02 May 12

    Hi,first of all ,when your mixed ,your not either black or white ,your just mixed thats it ,to be 100 percent black like me you will afto to be born and raised in a black family ,meaning no white woman and black man ,all black family ,black father and mother ,What you choose to be is really up to you ,Wheather you want to be white or you want to be black ,but you know deep down that your neither black nor white , Your mixed accept who you are and dont worry about what other people think you are And never be ashamed of who you are,cause no matter what your still an American and thats all that matters right?

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  25.   Tdrom says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 12

    Let's be correct...this man does not love and understand Black women. He loves and understands a Black woman, his wife. There is a difference, and rightly so. Rightly so, because he commits to the work involved to love and understand his woman. That is what makes the difference, not whether he is white or not; its a universal message. Although people want to see things in 'black and white', literally, they choose to see gray... like the blackness of his wife. Do you truly think that her being mixed gives a different experience? Not so much when it comes to having colored children and trying to having a successful job in a color-dominant field. Just be happy that they found one another in a complex and difficult world, congratulated them on being together for so long, and wish them the best. Being married under constant 'spotlight' is not easy; especially with people who want to read more than what there is in their relationship.

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    • Summersnite says:
      Posted: 19 May 12

      Most people in America, if your not the 1st or 2nd generation here IS mixed with something. Its rare to find 100% of one dna

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  26.   AzureHoney says:
    Posted: 21 Apr 12

    I think its really sad that some folks here are denying this woman's (blackness) based on her skin tone... She is half black, half white.. and here in AMERICA and in MANY other places on earth... she is a BLACK WOMAN and will NEVER be identified as a WHITE woman... That's just the TRUTH... Who are ANY of you to say she cant call herself "black"? I'm sorry.. but during the civil rights movement would Paula Patton have gotten any less degraded, or discriminated against than the next Afro-American? I don't think so.. Yes we all have different individual experiences.. Yes the one drop rule is bullshit... But the descendants of freed west African slaves...mixed from 1% to 100% and the latter (which is what SHE is) have ALL been blanketed with the SAME scrutiny, injustice, labeling, trials and tribulations in THIS country... So how dare you say this woman cant identify with being "black"..? ALL of you should be ashamed... smh #Ignorance

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    • tim1975 says:
      Posted: 06 May 12

      It is just as shameful and ignorant that Paula Patton denies and disrespects her white heritage. She is going to create major mental problems for her child. Don't even get me started on her lame ass husband. He's a great singer, but he is "white guilt" personified. The entire situation is a shame.

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      • Summersnite says:
        Posted: 19 May 12

        So to acknowledge one is to deny the other....are you sure your 1 +1 = 2?

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  27.   UnicornUK says:
    Posted: 21 Apr 12

    Wish i could find a nice black lady here in the UK. Maybe i should move to America. Find me a sista who will make me wanna write songz and stuff lol

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  28. Posted: 19 Apr 12

    I am from the south, I have in my life seen white grandmothers disown their children, and not acknowledge their grandchildren because of this issue. It still happens today. There's always a history behind today's issues.

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  29. Posted: 19 Apr 12

    I am from the south, I have in my life seen white grandmother disown their children, and not acknowledge their grandchildren because of this issue. It still happens today. There always a history behind today's issues.

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  30. Posted: 18 Apr 12

    Everyone goes through different experiences in life. The Existentialists would say that you can never truly know the person standing next to you even if you have lived a basically identical life. Forget black or white, a man will never know what it is like to be a woman and the inverse is true as well. Isn't that part of the point of a relationship? You open yourself to the experience of the person you love. If the point you posit is of compatibility based on similarity then you would also have to say that relationships within the same gender are the best.

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  31.   urbanisqe says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 12

    If Paula identifies as BLACK, then who's place is it to say otherwise? Ya'll need to quit. As soon as Obama denounces his blackness, ya'll be the first throwing rocks at the damn White House. Light-skinned black ppl are always being called out by dark blacks about how black they are (not). Don't get mad at them because you darkies don't feel comfy in your skin. Open up a history book and find out what it actually means to be black in America. Maybe then you'll stop your whining about who is black enough to be black. Check your own insecurities!

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    • Summersnite says:
      Posted: 19 May 12

      I agree with everything you said until the word DARKIES...your use of that words reflects your self hate. Why are some of us (humans...not just black people) so willing to stay bound...tightly wrapped in hate?? Most of the people on this board have so much hate...they have enough to pass around. As if they are making certain no one is deficient!

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  32. Posted: 15 Apr 12

    Ultimately you identify as black because you'll never identify as white. In America there is not middle ground, and we all know the history behind that. Also as much as it is an issue in the black community it is only the black community that embraces the mulatto. Who ever made the comment about Paula not being black is very judgmental. I to get from a lot of black people that I do not look completely black, however I have no white parent or know of any white ancestry in my past. Both my parents are black and my son who also looks very much like me, and has a very dark father gets the same thing. No one has the right to tell him he is not black, yet they do.

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    • Demetrilo says:
      Posted: 24 Apr 12

      To ubanisqe:You are very much right on everything,except for the "darkies' part,lol,which apart of me want to laugh and the other part pretty much shakes my head, because that is the part that causes the black race to become divided in the first place.I am dark-skinned and at first,growing up,I was beaten to the point of death because of my dark skin.By kids at school, and some of my family members.When I got older,I had so much hate in me that I wanted to seek revenge on the ones,including whites for causing my life to be a living hell everyday,from first grade to the eleventh grade.Hell,some of my teachers gave me a hard time about being dark skinned and they were black!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Do I have control over my skin color??????????? Well, the answer is evident,No!!!!!!! The teachers were not supposed to be there to judge anyway,their job is to teach!!!!!!! And they were not all that good at teaching any one anything,anyway,lol,:).I had to go and get some serious counseling and ask The Good Lord up above to soften my heart and rid of the hate and evil in my heart. I changed that mentality and I turned negative into positive.I am proud to be Dark-Skinned,I am proud to be what God made me.And looking at your picture,I don't see a light-skinned woman, I see a "Queen" who is about to sit on her throne of confidence because she is and knows who she is and what she wants out of her life. As African-Americans,we should see ourselves as "Kings "and "Queens",just as our African descendents were before they were forced into slavery. We do suffer alot of insecurities and adversities and even ignorance,but that should not be the end all and be all of our existance here on this earth.Paula is a sister,no doubt.The bondage of slavery is in the mind,but, with every type of bondage that is known to mankind,it can be broken.And then the physical yoke can be broken :).

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  33.   lisha1979 says:
    Posted: 12 Apr 12

    I am sorry I would have to disagree just because "BLACK" women like Paula Patron have distinct features from various nationalities doesn't mean we aren't considered black women. I am also a biracial women and what irritates me the most is my own race stating that because my complexion is lighter my nose is pointer i'm less black than u are if you claim to love being a black women then don't discredit the black women who happen to have multiple ethnicity truth be told who really is 100% of any nationality?

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  34. Posted: 11 Apr 12

    Growing up in a different country, Whether you were Chinese, white, Hispanic, or black, we were all classified as BAHAMIANS!!! NOT black Bahamian or white Bahamian.... I never heard such bull Shit until I moved here. It's sad we are so hang up on labels. I've loved, black, white and Italian men... It shouldn't matter the color of his skin, he is just a man and he needs love!!!!

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  35.   miyaadolf says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 12

    first of all why the hell are u guys arguing about it, its really doesn't matter if she look like black or mix. and second she is not full black nor she's not even Brazilian, her mother is European american and her father is full African american.

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    • Happy_Girl says:
      Posted: 08 Apr 12

      What exactly is full African American?? Does that mean he was an African who lived in America or a black person who was descendants of slaves?

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  36.   NenaJ17 says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 12

    We talk about racism, specifically whites hating blacks, but what about how blacks treat their own? My brother and I are mixed, I took more after my mom who is black, and my brother looks almost like a splitting image of my dad, who is half Japanese and half black with white ancestory (his great grandmother I was told). Not only does my brother have a light complexion, but he has "mixed hair" too. Growing up people used to call him "white boy" all the time and we grew up around blacks after our parents divorced, which was at a very young age. I know this hurt him and he struggled so hard to fit in growing up because he "looked different." His son looks just like him (STRONG genes lol) and the same ignorant stuff is going on with him, except it's coming from his own aunts! (on his mother's side) This boy ACTUALLY thought he was white! And black folks who do this, do this to intentionally hurt people who they are intimidated by, probably because of society telling them that one color is better than another. Mixed kids get racism from both sides, and depending on the environment in which they are raised, they are even alienated by some. It's Evil! We don't choose our parents or to be born, although I am grateful to God that I was, I am just sick of seeing this type of ignorance, evilness, and stupidity.

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    • tim1975 says:
      Posted: 06 May 12

      @ NenaJ17 Excellent point! When I was married to a black woman, I was surprised to discover just how pervasive racism is in the black American community. The vitriole spewed at biracial people, particularly women, was a real eye-opener. Don't even get me started on how a black woman is ofter treated by other black people, including family members and so-called friends, if she dares date (or even marry, gasp!) a white man. You'd be amazed at what these brave and beautiful women have to put up with while looking for love, if they "dare" look outside thier "black brothas" for a husband. In my experience and opinion, racism in America won't die because there are an aweful lot of black folks (and some white) who won't let it. You can't move into the future while clinging to the past. Just my 2 cents.

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      • reese says:
        Posted: 13 May 12

        It is odd that you say the black community is spews the racism. But there is a reason why she is in the black community and it is because she is more accepted than in the white community I am betting. But it isn't all one sided. Maybe this is just the side you see because of who you were dating because it is alot of time the light skinned are also against darks. And whites are also just a prejudice.

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 13 May 12

      You get it from both sides, but are also more accepted by both. I tell you Paula would be treated better than a regular black girl by white people and more accepted than another black person.

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  37.   26bunny26 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 12

    Where's the human evolution?

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  38.   Maheva says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 12

    Guys ! Don't you get tired of talking or discussing about the same thing!! It is been centuries since it is all about " black" and "white". If people are identified as mixed race , it does mean they coming from different races! Meaning they are white and they are black or Chinese or Indian ! Now if you decide to identify yourself as one race due to the environment in which you grow up , it is your problem it does not change the fact that biologically you are mixed. Don't even think mixed race people can allow themselves to be racist , cause hat will be stupidity ! But " au contraire' they should themselves as " the race of hope" " second chance" race of peace" , as they are the proof that everything can change despite the sad background shared by black people ( slavery), they are thereof that we moving forward and that we have forgiven the people than offend us in the past and even learn how to love them despite I all. Mixed race kids are the outcome of all that. Hope you got my point, sorry I am a French speaker Muahhh

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    • cyrilg says:
      Posted: 29 Mar 12

      Votre esprit at philosophie est admirable. On a besoin aux etats unis de votre perspective.

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  39.   shaeluv says:
    Posted: 21 Mar 12

    There are so many opinions out there on this subject. It's honestly good to see white men stand up for the black race, finally. I do find that complexion definitely plays a HUGE role on how people judge your race, not every black person in the U.S. is of an all black family pool as LUCY101 has voiced and she is correct. My desendents are European and American Indian but looking at me you would assume I'm black cause of my skin tone or hair texture. When people look at my kids people assume I'm babysitting and thats is whats wrong with the world, Assuming and Guessing. Love sees no color neither do God so just leave it alone ignorant people and worry about your own business. Love is beautiful so do that instead of judging.

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  40.   2bigworld says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 12

    I like Robin Thicke, and he gave his opinion because he was asked, so that's how it should be treated, as his opinion. However, I DID feel my womanist skin prickle when he said, "Perhaps black women need to take better care of their men." That's a line that men, esp. black men, have been throwing around since the ages. That's not the reality in contemporary society. Many black men carry an enormous amount of baggage, and a lot of the baggage gathered rightfully, from dealing with the bs that American culture thrusts upon people of color. But every tub has to stand on it's own bottom, so every person who claims he/she is seeking authentic love must learn to sort and unpack that baggage so as to render oneself truly ready and able to participate in a loving relationship. If anyone has yet to figure out how to love her/himself, no matter how much "love" is given to her/him, it will be impossible to love someone else.

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    • cyrilg says:
      Posted: 29 Mar 12

      Actually, the the history of male-female relations in America in the last half century or so is like one big explosion inside a munitions factory. With a 50% divorce rate in some places, fatherless families for people of all different backgrounds and divorce a painful, expensive and child-damaging event for millions of couples each year, it might be a good idea to look at male-female relations in general every once in a while. Nationality determines culture to a large degree. No white man who isn't an ignoramus or redneck, for instance, would group many African American women with African women on the basis of skin color.

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  41.   LUCY101 says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 12

    Historically, in North America and Europe, one drop of African blood classified you as Black. Its extremely rare to be all Black in the U.S. unless you are from a 2nd or 3rd generation African immigrant family. Just as Caucasian looking people are a mix of ancestral origins. Black / White is more these days about your life experience and cultural identity. You have no idea of what Paula Patton is like as a person to make the blanket statement that she isnt Black because of how she looks simply shows more racist issues.?I am 1/2 German ancestry and the other half more Caucasian mix. A few weeks ago I had an acquaintance someone who those of you on here who are most vehemently against Paula Patton being called Black would definitely call Black asked me in all sincerity if I was Black it had to do with my knowledge, cultural awareness, etc., NOT my appearance. This person is aware enough to know that any mix of any ethnicity can turn out looking like well almost anything. Who we are is a matter of spirit, essence and experience in these times There were American, African slaves back in the day who were products of African/White unions who looked white like me. And some who looked black as any pure blooded African. That is still the way it works Who we are much more complicated. How we treat one another is something we can decide everyday.

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    • Demetrilo says:
      Posted: 24 Apr 12

      Amen,sister,AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree with you on that!!!!!!!! First and formost of all,if you don't love yourself,how in the world do you expect to love others reguardless of what race,creed,religion,tribe,etc. There are a lot of African,Black or African American males and females who hate themselves for many reasons.Adversities are one of many.But I can not speak for many,just myself.I have turned adversities into many positive outcomes.It is not what you are called,but what you respond to.I am a young African-American woman with Native American anscestory and I am sure some European bits and pieces,lol,.I am a "Mutt" and proud of it. People think that I am from another country,but I am from here.I am also a millionaire businesswoman who did not have to rap,turn tricks or sell drugs to have a huge bank account neither.It is the company that you keep(TAKE THAT BOTH WAYS) ,that helps you become a success or a failure in life ,not what color or race people think that you are.It is what you think of yourself,that is what matters.God doesn't make trash!!!!!!!!!! He knew what He was doing when He used his paintbrush and His canvass.Thank you 2bigworld!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  42.   LUCY101 says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 12

    Historically, in North America and Europe, one drop of African blood classified you as "Black". It's extremely rare to be "all Black" in the U.S. unless unless you are from a 2nd or 3rd generation African immagrant family. - Just as caucasian looking people are a mix of ancestoral origins. - "Black" / "White" is more these days about your life experience and cultural identity. You have no idea of what Paula Patton is like as a person - to make the blanket statement that she isn't "Black" because of how she looks simply shows more racist issues. I am 1/2 German ancestory and the other half more caucasian mix. A few weeks ago I had an aquiantance - someone who those of you on here who are most vehemently against Paula Patton being called "Black" - would definitely call "Black" - asked me in all sincerity if I was Black... it had to do with my knowledge, cultural awareness, etc., NOT my appearance. -- This person is aware enough to know that any mix of any ethnicity can turn out looking like - well almost anything. Who we are is a matter of spirit, essence and experience in these times... There were American, African slaves back in the day who were products of African/White unions who looked "white" like me. And some who looked "black" as any pure blooded African. -- That is still the way it works..... "who" we are is much more complicated. How we treat one another is something we can decide everyday.

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    • Happy_Girl says:
      Posted: 08 Apr 12

      Lucy this is true but to a point. IF you watch who do you think you are on PBS not NBC they did genetic test on all the people who were a part of the show. The black were of mixed raced meaning they were a mix of African Asian and European. While the Asian and the European were pure blood for lack of a better term. It is a excellent show you should watch it. The reason for the one drop rule was because masters had children with slaves so to ensure those children could not late turn and say they were the race of the father it was established that one drop of black blood no matter how far back it went.

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  43.   artymarty says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 12

    His wife passes for a black woman she looks latino. Anyway he sounds like he should be with a black male. LoL He reminds me of Tammy Bruce, a white far right lesbian feminist arthur who likes telling black men how to live their lives. That's what black people need, white people telling them how to live LoL As the Hodgetwins say "do what the F*** you wanna do" LoL

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  44.   Thinker54 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 12

    Unfortuneately, there's STILL racism towards African Americans.....and, within THAT bit of racism, you see even MORE racism---that is, light-skin vs dark skin---or rather, the old "High Yeller" insult that the Black community uses for those of lighter skin.....and, if THAT isn't enough for you, then try this on.....there are places where even if you have a small percent that is Black in you, the American public has you as Black, and nothing else.....true, it is changing, albeit slowly---but there is SO much racism about this issue, that the only thing one needs to do is to fight it in their own way, and the best that they can!

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  45.   brad2020 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 12

    Some people say black because they don't know there is any other blood or just don't know better. It's not a knock on the black race. Just because someone says she is black is not derogatory. A fact is a fact and not always are all the facts disclosed. Just because the media says black doesn't mean 100% so we get used to it a can know better. Just remember there is not a knock when they say someone is black. Geez!

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    • KreamyLuv says:
      Posted: 15 Jun 12

      I agree people take something so small and make it into something that it is not..who cares really....??

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  46.   carmendmv says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 12

    Most of these comments are off-base. The article was about Robin's experience with interracial love. Not about his wife identifies herself, her skin or her nose. GROW UP PEOPLE. The point is - you shouldn't give a --- about how you look. It's about you love.

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  47. Posted: 13 Mar 12

    If yall remember Plessy vs Ferguson in 1892, he was considered an octoroon (he was 7/8 white). Fair skin, yes. Looked like a whit man, yes. If u see any features of a person that resemble black features, then they are considered tainted. Dont take this literally, its factual. Just cuz ur here for love and all the goodies doesnt mean u can hide from the truth. Obama is mixed but he's black. Period. Im cuban but I look like a regular ol black girl. We are all mixed up a little. Some of us lean towards one side aesthetically more than the other but it does not obscure the facts. Virginia passed the first statute against miscegenation between blacks and whites. The goal was to prevent that abominable mixture and spurious issue which hereafter may increase in this dominion, as well by negroes, mulattoes, and Indians intermarrying with English, or other white women, as by their unlawful accompanying with one another. There are alot of black women who dont wanna look black. They wish their natural hair was hawaiian silky no.5 lol and their complexion matched beyonce's. Cant all get what we wish, but one thing is for sure. U play with the uniform ur issued. Get in the gym, cook, clean, love hard. Thats how u get any man, any race, anytime.....Trust that. I agree with Robin.

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    • cyrilg says:
      Posted: 29 Mar 12

      I'm sorry. My post is a reply to Candicanelix, not Myangel37

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  48.   Myangel37 says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 12

    I have a bi-racial nephew who just looks a little light skinned, you would never know his father was white. When he's in stores and on the street people only see a black child, not a bi-racial child. He identifies with both races and he has a close relationship with both sides of his family, but in reality the world see's him as black. Just because you choose to identify more with one side of your culture doesn't mean you are not admitting the existance of the other.

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    • cyrilg says:
      Posted: 29 Mar 12

      Good on you for quoting historical fact and bothering to look to American history as the foundation of your argument. This is the only way that white Americans can understand the white racism in America and do something about it.

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    • SXYBRWNSUGA says:
      Posted: 02 Jul 12

      It's really funny to see darker skin black people think they are 1000% black. It's even more funny that black people or white people think they can define who is black and who is not black. If Paula Patton, Obama, Mariah Carey, or Halle Berry are proud enough to say they consider themselves black who are any of you to say otherwise. Black people who are saying this garbage should be ashamed of themselves. With our history here in America none of us is 100% black.

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  49.   MichaelMN says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 12

    Let me get his straight..Black is now defined as pure black...unless you are Obama? Critizing her nose? Are you serious? So then Halle is WHITE! I knew it! Have you ever met a woman from Somalia, Ethipia or Eritrea? Get real people!. These are REAL African woman. And get this.........Their noses are whiter than most white women. Get over yourselves. A great number of American blacks have ...(pause for effect here.....) CAUCASION BLOOD AND GENETICS IN THEM. OMG! We're all doomed! These comments to this post are beyond racist. Shame on all of you. This site is about love. I am beyond disgusted. Peace out.

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    • reese says:
      Posted: 13 May 12

      How is it racist to state a fact. He is a quater black. Is her son with blond hair and white skin considered black too. Halle Berry is biracial, but looks black atleast and couldn't pass for anything else as does Obama. Oh and Halle had a nose job.

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    • Summersnite says:
      Posted: 19 May 12

      Well said Michael, you took the words right out of my mouth! As a black women its insane for another person esp black person to try to define my blackness. Who in this country is 100% anything??? Point blank....we all share DNA.....WE are all related. Its such a waste of energy trying to exclude or define people. Just let them be!

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    • LovelyErin88 says:
      Posted: 05 Jun 12

      I agree with you MichaelMN, you guys are being racist. I am a black woman, blended with white European and American Indians(two tribes). Don't you all sit up here, and tell me who and what I am. I am proud of who I am, and blood that pumps through my veins. I am very proud of all of the ethnic backgrounds and I wouldn't change not one thing. I am black, so don't call me black. I am white, so don't call me white. I am native American, so don't call me that either. My name is Erin,so use it. My ancestors were the ones the stole my ancestors from their lands, and brought them to this land. My ancestors were also the ones that stole this land from my ancestors. And I have no hate for them. I love who I am, and what is in me. I honor my past, present and future. I know who am.

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      • skygal34 says:
        Posted: 09 Aug 12

        Interesting discussion here. I can confidently say I'm 100% black, African, no non- black family as far back as our history goes. And yet I don't think I look significantly different to other black people with mixed lineages. First of all, I dont have the black 'body' that's for sure, I'm naturally slim. My hair is softer than a lot of other black people's hair (which means I've been asked if I was Indian before lol). But I'm probably as black as it gets in terms of 'purity', Let's appreciate blackness for what it is, wonderful and comes in a wide variety- just like all the other races

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    • rico260 says:
      Posted: 15 Jun 12

      Michael, you are on point 100%. If the woman wants to ID herself as a black woman, so be it. All this energy spent worrying if she(Patton) is black. One thing I do know is that Thicke has a very fine women.

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  50.   goddessa says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 12

    I totally agree w you guys. Its amusing that paula patton is considered BLACK? look at her hair,nose and skin???????? She looks Mediterranean,or brazilian (she would not be considered blk in brazil but a mixed person) Why is the one drop rule only applied in one direction????? Its sop silly its insane.

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