Sorry about the earlier mix up in this post.
Many people react negatively when they see a member of their culture/ethnic group with a member of another ethnic group. “What are our men/women doing with outsiders?᾿ This is a reaction that is almost the expected reaction.
Well am not against interracial unions so before you start with the cursing, hold them horses. However you will agree with me (those who will) that I am merely stating something that is not inconceivable… most people might feel that they should stick with their own kind.
According to an article I read the other say, strange as it may look, for some whites, this negative reaction to interracial unions goes way past white/non-white couples. There have been a few incidents I may have encountered that made this register with me. For example one day, a black man walked by holding an Asian woman. Then a white dude next to me said “It is strange to see a black man with an Asian woman”. So why is it not weird when a white man is with an Asian woman?
I may be overreacting and if so, then let me know. But has anyone ever noticed this? So what is the difference between white men dating Asians and black men who date Asians? Both are interracial unions.
My pal was telling me black-Asian couples encounter more explicit forms of white disapproval. This, I am trying to swallow. If we go by the normal excuse of disapproval – “purity being at stake᾿ – then what does a black-Asian couple got to do with the white community’s purity being threatened? Clearly, that cannot apply to this case. So what is the reasoning behind it then?
In an article The Art of War the author tried explaining this reaction. “the yellow woman is considered the white man’s exclusive toy, and he is not willing to share this toy with other men of any color”. Does this mean that whites only approve of interracial unions they are involved in? Do they feel the same resentment when it’s a white women dating Asian men or are they ok with it.
[tags]asian women white men,asian women black men[/tags]
In the last 6 years that our daughter has desired a man of color, we’ve dealt with many common rejections. My husband’s (her father) is not ‘up for it’, and I can’t get through since he’s not physically well.
On the other hand, I see that there is a mind-set that he can depend on her, but there is no need for a Christian counsel in order to make this a true committment.
I’ve learned that being prejuduced is not a horrifying state of mind. It is a person whose personal lives has been inexperienced with acceptance. Fear, more or less. And unless it’s someone who is out to get the system to fall for their victimizing, it needs to be elevated by none other than the one who has started this thread.:)
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I believe in what vt is saying, black women are not shown for their true value, and the strength, they have shown, in this country and places around the world. I work in research education, I noticed when it comes, to the black female, when something is bad, negative or unseemly, black woman, always fall in the highest percentage. Society likes to place black women at the bottom of the respect scale.
Society do not like to see black women with anyone, I do not think they like to see them have a positive force in their life. We are always the single parent, manless, or perceived as uneducated, unfaithful and deceitful. Black women are strong, they have shown strength, they have survived and are always survivors, this is the reality of a black woman. Society know this is true, give us our props, acknowledge the black woman regardless of what background or country she comes from.
There are black people all over the world, however, the black woman is always, devalued, she can be African American, Afro-Latina, Afro-European and Afro-Asian, we are a part of all cultures, and ethnicities, when there is color involved, it matters, and it should not matter. We need to be acknowledged, for our accomplishments, and our contribution to mankind. Every woman, should be cerebrated with the same merit, we have a strong position in life!!!
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I think in our current culture it is the image of Black women in association with rap videos and welfare mothers that are the two images that most determine how people see Black women. The Republican media machine that seeks to split off poor whites from poor blacks so that policies benefiting poor people don’t get political support is what causes the perpetuation of the welfare mother imagery. For example, if you want middle class and poor whites to ignore a candidates voting against national healthcare, just convince him that the average beneficiary will be some lazy, black woman who wants you to work so your tax dollars will pay for all her out of wedlock babies. These stereotypes are kept alive because they serve an agenda.
Similarly, look at how much money rappers and BET are making off the sex hungry/money hungry image of black women in videos. These videos are sent around the world and many are viewed by people who have never actually met a black woman in person. All they know of black women is what they see in the media. Yet who profits from these videos? Primarily black men, that’s who. Then those same black men turn around and tell a black woman she should remain single for life if she can’t find a black man that wants her, even though she has been so devalued that increasingly even black men hold racist attitudes towards black women and won’t consider dating a black woman.
Black women need to take control of some small slice of the media and they need to use it to present positive images of black women. I love Oprah, but with her power I would love to see her focus more on presenting shows that present a new cultural image of who the black woman is. I would love to see young black women who get their MBAs use them to start media businesses that also promote a positive image of black women. We cannot wait for white male republicans and black male entertainers to stop doing what they are doing to promote ugliness. We have to step forward and present an alternate message that breaks through and reaches the people who need to see it.
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I’ve never had to worry being raised in a multicultural family and society. I do worry now, because i spend more time in the south; Texas and Louisiana. Up North and in So. California we mix well. My hometown of residency in calif. is a mix of mostly interracial couples, white and hispanics. If you are black, nine times out of ten you are paired with another race. (I think it is gravitational) I’m blessed with that there and when i head north.
We, as stated previously, as humans need to leave, but not forget, the past. forgive! If it is not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. You can judge kindly, in america you are free to your opinion.
My biggest worry about a relationship, and have only been looking for about a year and a half, is that it is an experiment for him. I want the man in my life to love me for me and not just a color or features. I don’t necessarily need him to do things that are ethnicly inclined to my race. Heck, I don’t often do things that are prone to my ethnicity! I admit, I love the lighter or more tan skin colors, a few features; but, i feel more attracted to the things we have in common and his ultimate respect for me.
If he respects me, then he is honest about what atracts him. Then I can know where ultimately his most important concerns in a relationship lies. And, if I can fulfill them!
I’m still hopeful! Would welcome a little help here,
Meron
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how can u blame an entire race cuz how a couple people feel????? stupid post
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how can you blame/say an entire race feels this way because a couple do????? stupid post !!lots of my white boys in canada date black girls only.does this mean all canadian white men go after black women……ummmm nope everybody have there own sexual attraction. just cuz some do it dont blame an entire race!!!
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Correct joeboy519! I agree! We can not help who we are attracted to. Outer or inner, we eventually fall in love with the one who keeps us happy and growing. After a few years, I stopped noticing those stare and comments. It’s so much more prevalent now that hardly anyone stares, if at all, for long anymore.
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Dang, this thread is still running..Hot Damn!
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I think that it is true that lots of people have their stereotypes of black woman, which is not fair nor right. I have so many woman friends who are black and they do not fit the stereotype that white people have given them. White people have this way of measuring everyone to their own standards and if someone is different from that, they “aren’t as good”. I don’t think it should really be anyone elses’ business who I date or who I marry or have kids with, but apparently other people think they should have the right to make judgements of me for this.
I dated this black man once who really was prejudice against black people. I asked him once if he was a black man or an african american and his response: “I am a white man trapped in a black man’s body” I felt and told him that is sad and disrespectful to his parents. I no longer dated him
I do not want a black man who is not proud of who he is and where he is from. I also do not understand the mind of a black man who will only date white women no matter what. They will date a 300 lb white woman who does not have good hygiene, or a job, who does not care if what she is wearing is clean never mind whether it matches or not rather than a well groomed attractive black woman who has class and pride in herself, and works and takes care of her business. Now, you tell me, what is that about?? A white woman who is dirty, fat and low life is better than a clean, pretty, fit black woman??? I think not. I also don’t want to date that black man either.
However, I do prefer black men to white men. And I really don’t think it is anyone elses’s business who I date but, apparently many people do. White men think that black men are taking “their women” and that is insane because I were someone elses’ woman, I would not be dating at all, because I would be faithful. some black women say we (white women) are taking their men. I have never dated, or tried to date any man married or man in a relationship. So, I am not seeing “their men” because the men I date are their own man, single and available and he has decided to date me. I just feel that there is so much more to a person than the color of their skin or hair or eyes or whatever.
I would like for everyone to know that if you pass me on the street with a man I am dating and he is black, I will not react to your prejudices or looks or comments. I have never been ashamed of my choice in men, and all of you out there with problems with it can say what you want, but, I will always be proud of myself, and you will not cause me to be ashamed or ruffle me in any way.
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well said
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hey prncess63 …some white people do have a stereotype of black people……okay…that’s true…yet why don’t you mention how some black people have a stereotype of white people…such as yourself???
Let me explain to you…prejudice exist in all people of ALL RACES including you apparently.
Who are you to question if a black man who wants to date only white women?? I have a lot of male black friends who have a preference for white women for whatever their reason.
Some black, asian, white, hispanic, indian etc have a prefernce for women who are in shape and will not date an overweight woman..
what about that? There was a black woman from a few decades back that I really liked and she wouldn’t date outside her race which hurt my feelings…but that was her prefence….yeah…I could have told her she was being racist bla-bla-bla….but in the end…its what makes her happy.
The article above is about how whites react to interracial couples…what about the other way around??? You think black men don’t get annoyed or say something when they see a beautiful black woman with a white guy? Do you lack wisdom?
Yes it bothers them because it happened to me quite a bit. Usually these days I get some stares…but not once did a white guy look at us. I have no idea what it was like in the fifties..but I know for a fact that since the nineties…not one white guy gave a stare or said something. As for black men…yes they had some ..things to say. But for the last 3 years ..some black men just stare me down…which I can deal with.
I bet you think you’re not a racist…but technically you are…you have some prejudices…maybe they are small..but they are there…and those comments about fat dirt white women…you are a really ignorant.
You realize how hard it is for overweight women to find men who aren’t shallow? Are you saying they don’t deserve someone? That’s prejudice. It’s disgusting. You know what’s sad…you sound like you probably are attractive…and you have no problem getting men…but its sad how women whether they are black, white, asian, indian, etc…are really hot treat women or aren’t as pretty. It’s a shame that you were given the gift of beauty but not a good heart.
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To Ria, I’m going to ignore everyone else who jotted down an ignorant response and just answer your ignorant question.
First, I don’t understand how you can be so one-sided with your own racist views. I lived in Korea….and I can tell you that asian men beat up some white male soldiers that lived there who dated their asian women on at least 2 occasions that I personally know of.
There was also a lot of black male soldiers who dated asian girls. Not one white guy ever said anything.
Also one of my closet friends who is black only likes foreign asian women. He doesn’t like american women. And he’s never encountered any problems that I know of. Maybe he was just lucky or maybe you like to exagerate.
I don’t like hypocrysy in anyone. It’s the one trait that most people have and don’t think its a big deal.
If you were not prejudiced in anyway..you would have wrote the title of your blog…
“any and to all interacial couples …have you found problems with other races not accepting you?”
See..this is an open minded question…not limited to …hey white people have a problem not accepting…blah-blah..
White women by the way have proven to be the MOST open to interacial dating…its pretty obvious. I’m sure you can agree to that. So…”common sense” here is that they will have less of a problem accepting interacial dating then women who aren’t as open minded about interacial dating.
Asian women do date outside their race but not as much as it seems with white women. Then at the very bottom of open-mindedness are black women who I remember in college nearly 2 decades ago absolutely had no interest in dating outside their race.
No one left them out…they CHOSE this.
The last few years it seems some black women don’t have a problem with it. It seems more common these days. I’m actually very happy about that.
Although lets be clear…the only men that I have seen have a problem with this is black men..not white men. Thats common sense.
If you can’t see that..thats because you have your biased views and only want to see what you see, regardless of common sense or facts.
Also if a black man chooses to date nothing but a white or asian woman….thats his choice. He doesn’t have to explain his reasons to you or to anyone. If this is what makes him happy…then leave it be.
I met many white girls who date nothing but black men. I remember some just found black men physically attractive…which by the way, I found as an acceptable reason. But I also heard from other white women who claim that they felt ALL black men would treat them better and ALL white guys would mistreat them.
That was pretty retarded of these white girls. It also lacked common sense on their part. And I was offended.
Skin color doesn’t make you a good or bad boyfriend…it also doesn’t make you racist either. Meaning just because you are white..you don’t automatically have a racist gene…and just because you’re black, asian or whatever doesn’t mean you are innocent victims of racism who are not racists themselves.
This mentality is what I mean by hypocrysy. Apparently its okay for princess63 to ridicule overweight women but not black women. Its okay to make fun of white people but not black people. Its okay to be sexist of men but not of women.
Its funny how its okay to look down on anyone that has nothing in common with you.
I’ve heard overweight women ridicule skinny women. I also heard it the other way around.
I’ve heard jewish, christian, muslim, hindu, budhist, and etc talk down about other religions…but whine when someone looks down on their own religion.
I’ve heard every possible prejudice you can think of…and then I hear how its upsetting when someone they encountered mistreated them based on who they were.
Look..I agree there are white jerks out there…but they are also good white people out there who don’t deserve your ignorant biased views.
But if you want to be enlightened and truly open-minded then you need to start by addressing your own prejudices.
I saw a white female dwarf run out of a club some years back because some college white and black guys were making fun of her when she walked by. It was very cruel.
I also seen how white, asian, black, hispanic, indian, and every other race, ethnic group of males treated an unattractive woman (regardless of race) compared to an attractive one (regardless of race).
And believe me..they can be very demeaning. Especially when they are young men (regardless of their own race).
My point is…you’re only concentrating on a small portion of prejudice involving just the white people and ignoring your own prejudice and the prejudices of other black, asian, middle eastern and etc.
I know that I’m truly open minded because I have the wisdom to see my own mistakes and have the nobility to admit them.
You ever noticed how men in general… and must I say this again..”regardless of their race”… whine how women are gold diggers and they can’t stand that about them?? They claim its shallow.
Yet these same men who constantly whine about that trait in women…they always FAIL to see how they ALWAYS run after the most beautiful women they can find and ignore those women who aren’t as…cute.
These guys can’t see how shallow they are themselves. And I actually mention to several men over the years and their response was…”its not the same.”
But in reality it was the same…both ways of thinking were shallow…one dealt with money…the other in a young-nice body. Yet I have never been able to make them see that.
That show.,,,beauty and geek?? Cute girls with goofy guys? But have you ever seen Cute guys with goofy unattractive girls for a show??
Anyway, you can think whatever you like. Spread your one-sided biased views. I’ve said what I needed to say. And I like to believe it didn’t fall on deaf ears.
I hope one day…we as the human race will grow up. But until then…take care.
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Vt, You are so correct. I even enjoy the freudian slip. Somehow I can’t compare a dwarf being run out of a club with the fact that I wouldn’t go into a club as a black woman for fear of someone offering me money for sex because I was alone single and black.
However, we are striking back and in ways it is working. I lived on campus. And to the horror of my sista hatin brothers and their white friends I heard the comment about a white gentleman whose hygiene had improved:” That Boy got a Black lady for a girlfriend. You know they keep dey men up.”
This was from a White girl. It startled the black men who were runnin Black women down to hear such a truth being spoken aloud. I loudly agreed and added that the abscence of those dreaded muttonchops made him edible.( I think the phrase was “gooe enough to eat”).
Sure enough, his girlfriend arrived. She was darker than most. She was an Education major. She was a longtime defender of Black womanhood. Nuff said. Keep up the fight!
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Man this was a hot topic. The fire has died down a bit since September. I think I’ll throw another log on the fire and see what happens!
This country was founded on prejudice. It is the American way and the way of most other peoples as well. One group considers itself superior to another and uses that notion as a rationalization for all sorts of atrocities.
Long before Dutch settlers tried to take advantage of natives by “buying” Manhattan for a pittance (while the natives ran their game on the Dutch by charging them an exorbitant $27 to pass through in peace), Algonkian fought Iroquois, brutalizing, enslaving and raping each other.
The cotton and tobacco trades base on enslavement of Africans built commerce in the colonies. Factories owners of one religion felt no qualms in wage-slaving those who belonged to another in order to build industry. It goes on and on.
Fast forward to today. A Black man and his family get to move into the White House; and through the front door. At the same time people are screaming to “close the borders” to protect what was stolen fair and square.
Sadly, this is sort of human nature. Folks look at the differences instead of identifying with the similarities. Perhaps the most maligned people in the history of the world, at least the Western world, are the Jews. Even so, for some the notion of marrying a “Goy” is unacceptable.
It is no wonder that some on all sides of the racial/cultural divide rebel against intermingling. Perhaps the real wonder is that so many of us see the ignorance of that way and open our eyes and our hearts to people regardless of their shells.
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Fkoi you are very refreshing!
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In the State of Texas , where We live it was Mexico that ruled up until 1835 when Stephen F. Austin and a bunch of regulars finally caught their troops sleeping and Established Rule . This in no way changed the Fact that Our State was populated Largely by People of Mexican Heritage . They only beat the ruling class / they did not eliminate the people who had lived here long before that victory . Amounting to the Fact that most of the other Nationalities of people here are immigrants from other places . We live here and really could careless about peoples Heritage / Life in Reality is how one acts toward another , not where you come from . I moved to Texas about 40 years ago and have heard people complain that Mexicans will work for nothing – Alas they will work while others just complain that they would not do the same jobs for the Lower wages . People are no different / some are just Lazy and Like to Bitch .
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“Alas they will work while others just complain that they would not do the same jobs for the Lower wages . People are no different / some are just Lazy and Like to Bitch .”
Bull.
THEY will work because americans that are NOT mexicans are being kept out of jobs because the companies would rather hire mexicans who work for cheap pay rather then americans who want a living wage.
People are “bitching” because mexicans are being chosen for jobs over other people because mexicans will work for low pay.
That is not something to brag about.
EVERYONE should be given a job, not just mexicans that will work for cheaper pay.
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A big problem is the people that DELIBERATELY keep racism and stereotypes alive.
Many people stupidly say, “Oh, It’s human nature”
as if we are all born hating everyone that does not look like us.
Hatred is not human nature, it is taught and conditioned.
You don’t see 2 month old babies talking about how they hate black women and interracial couples.
You see people who are taught when they are very young to hate other people.
In America, the white supremacist society that rules over the country uses black women as a punching bag and play toy.
That is why black women are always viewed as sub-human or “not good enough,” because the ruling society hates our guts and they want to ALWAYS make it known.
This is not something that comes from the sky or grows on a tree, It Is kept up by people and they do It on purpose.
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REDRAIN ; I told only of the Words that , I had personally heard over the Past 40 years [ the people who said these Words - Said " Mexican " ] to me . Look in society ; check out the ones who gather with friends on the corner , drinking , smoking and laughing and complaining about Lack of employment opportunities . While when I was hungary , I would be seen Limping door-to-door making out applications all day after day after day on Foot [ Make sure to leave your phone number as we shall call you if a job becomes available - I was on the street looking for a job and could not be home awaiting a call at the same time ] . Reading two newspapers every evening / Seeking a job in the Employment sections . Check out the people similiar to Me . I live in Texas , after months of looking for a job within a hundred miles of my Homestead – with no success . I took a Greyhound bus to Utah seaking employment after a week there with no job in site . I Finally took the same busline to Arkansas / I cleaned offices and moved boxes in the storage rooms for the secretarys at Harold Ives Trucking for weeks waiting on the chance to Run the highways with a Trainer Driver . I had driven other trucks / Safely , Honestly and with Punctuality for my Deliverys [ which I unloaded by hand ] over 20 years and due to fuel shortages – my company that I had worked went under and was no longer in business . Qualifications in all fields of Employment regardless of heritage . Alas : I PERSONALLY has worked beside Spanish Heritage people from Mexico as they shared their roll up flour tacos with grond up beans , rice sausage and scrambled eggs with me because I worked side -by-side with them in over 100 degree heat and I was hungry . I am sorry for ruffling your feathers – I also speak of History [ IN THE LAST 40 YEARS ] History being as full of Hard times for Me as any other person . These are facts ; as I have PERSONALLY seen it Happen . In Texas where We live . Please do not Blame Me / for companies not being able to pay decent wages or like WalMart – only starting people part-time at a lower wage which after transportation costs to be able to get to work / makes it hard for families to purchase a gallon of milk for their children . Prisoners incarseration cost $80,000.00 per prisoner or more to support criminals eating habits . Politicians who wether they win re-election or not still draw a quarter million dollars a year for making laws and spending money we as a government don’t have . I have totally no control over ” What Should be ” , I am just an observer of Life as I have seen it . ” Sitting here smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo – don’t tell me I got nothing to do ” . Being Disabled at the age of 18 made my life hard / I did not however , sit and complain about it nor did I Quit looking . Thank you .
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“Homesteader” I don’t care. The companies need to stop hiring ONLY MEXICANS and start giving EVERYONE a job.
There is a new trend where people are only being hired just because they are mexican and will take a cheap wage and only being hired if they speak spanish.
That is nothing but descrimination and it is the same as saying “whites only” on job applications and places of business.
EVERYONE deserves a job not just mexicans or spanish speaking people.
Because EVERYONE works hard we all have bills to pay.
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Is that an Asian woman with a Black man in the pic? I wish I saw that combination more often. Sadly, a number of Filipinas (not all, of course) have told me they don’t like Black-American men, they said they want White-American men. Ironically, I’ve heard some of them complain about racism against White-Filipino relationships. Is that not a fine example of racist hypocrisy?
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The bigger question is why is it important to so many black women that white men except them – seems like some emotional issues are at play here. Are black women implying they have no worth as a woman until a white man expresses a desire in them – kinda of sad.
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I think Blkprinc raises a few points in one. Do black women have an unhealthy obsession with being excepted by white men? Maybe it’s because white men by virtue of their influence on society, determine who and what is beautiful. Also because black male female relationships have seemingly reached an all time low, many black women are wanting to establish a viable alternative.
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This is so SAD, reading these threads make my heart tremble ever so often, I feel like there’s so much self hate and need for acceptance and more-so revenge on SOME black men for their mistakes of the past and some of the present!!! I am a black man born of my father and mother and I don’t ever see any other woman if she’s not black, the thing however that throws me off is attitude and I’m not saying this is a black woman thing at all… I’ve met and have had some beautiful relationships with some lovely sistas and I will never ever forget any of them and I know I WILL have long life with a beautiful SISTA! But reading some of these crap on here makes me wonder what’s going on with our community and the mind set of our people very very sad… This feeling of acceptance from the white man will land you people somewhere you wished you never asked for period and I know its looking all rose and beautiful right now but hmmmmmm I do feel sorry for you all…You black men and women are working on destroying an entire existence and in doing so you’re working against the creator whom have created US FIRST!!! Blkprinc and brownclown you both opened up my eyes to something that I was thinking about a long time ago but never had the nerve to say out loud, so I said I don’t see any other race of woman other than black for any other purpose other than friendship, does that make me RACIST? I think not!!! I treat everyone as they treat me and I show respect to all but something always nags me when ever I read things like this it often shows itself. This is not about attraction at all, Its pure and simple revenge and self hatred in you people… To disrespect each other in the way I’m seeing calls into question the mind set of you all and god judge me if I’m wrong this has nothing to do with attraction, nothing to do with LOVE, nothing to do with preference just down right hatred, disrespect for self, history, parents, and everything that is responsible for you all very existence on this earth!!! There are millions of beautiful men and women around this world you mean none of you can’t find each other? This has nothing to do with white people just our community…
Respect
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I can’t get passed “unions between colored people”. I agree with “Smile” on everything. Thanks for your common sense brotha. Peace.
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people should not worry about who someone is dating
need to tend to their on affairs. nothing is wrong with dating outside of your race.love sees no color
Jesus said marry who you love. this race thing needs to stop doesn,t make any sense.
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