The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.
Question of the Week: Black Girl Asks, "Why Am I Always the Wing Woman?"
By Christelyn Russell-Karazin
Co-author of , "Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed" and the editor-in-chief of BeyondBlackWhite.com
Your perfect partner could be online right now...
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I received this note from a young, 20-year-old black American college girl who is spending a semester abroad in Paris. Here's her problem:
I've always been attracted to non-black men, usually white since I was in elementary school. My first crush was on an all-american blond boy name Johnny. Chalk it up to growing up in a rural, all-white town in Connecticut, but I like what I like. However, as I got older and began to seriously enter the dating scene, I would go out with girlfriends to clubs and such. My friends all happen to be white. I guess the situation that I'm struggling with is, why is it whenever I go out, whether it be in France or the US... it is my friends who are constantly hit on while I lay by the wayside? I always end up as the wingman, the leftovers, the "oh that's just my best friend" girl. I know that I'm at least passably pretty, cause in the black community, some guy is always trying to get with me. However, I feel as if I'm going down some deep dark whole questioning, what do I have to do? Am I not thin enough? White enough? My lips too big? What is it?! I feel as if I'm invisible, bordering on sexless and the frustration is slowly mounting.
Take a listen to the advise I give him...
So, Fyooz folks, what advice would you give her?
Have a question you'd like our resident "Swirling" expert to answer? Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org
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