Well, that is the story as per a recent research by group of U.S. psychology professors explaining why there is no substitute for face-to-face encounters. One of the psychologists Eli Finkel, an associate professor at Northwestern University feels “There’s no better way to figure out whether you’re compatible with somebody than talking to them over a cup of coffee or a pint of beer.”
As much as he thinks that is true, I believe, a relationship that is meant to work will work regardless of how the initial encounter was. See, even if the first encounter was over coffee as opposed to a reply to some email or chat, daters will always be under the pressure to give a good first impression. And if you ask me, a first encounter over beer isn’t enough to judge compatibility because more than half the time, both parties are trying too hard to impress.
Most people who say online dating encounters are limited are mis-guided by distorted perceptions they have read and formed over years. People who have been open about online dating, have had success. And success is relative to an individual. Just because I met someone over coffee and we clicked doesn’t necessarily mean we are compatible life partners. Just because I have been dating someone online over a year without a face to face meeting doesn’t mean it will all go south the day we meet.
Finkel is even calling dating sites “supermarkets of love” … that dating sites provide too many choices which can make people make lazy and poor decisions. Kinda like buying something in a rush just because you didn’t have the time to scrutinize everything that was on display only to realize Nah! This wasn’t what I really wanted. He says dating sites “overload people and they end up shutting down”
The way I see it, online or offline, the search for love is essentially shopping for love. My choice to buy something online doesn’t out-rightly make it an imperfect fit. Just because someone else tried his suit on at the shopping mall doesn’t mean he wont feel ridiculous in it when he hits the streets or get tired of it immediately.
The thing is, relationships take more effort than a couple of beers or a dating profile. And if you ask me, online dating is a substitute for face to face encounters. Online love has proven to be just as good as the conventional kind where a couple bumped into each other some place. Lets cut online dating some slack. I look around me and my friends have had online dating success… marriage success!
This particular research, I am gonna have to disagree with.