Online dating: Men's strategy

Posted by James, 10 Apr 10

Are you wondering why this guy you met online suddenly stops corresponding with you? Dating coach Evan Marc Katz tells women how men date online. Is this the strategy men employ?

79 responses to "Online dating: Men's strategy"

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  1.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 09 Aug 10

    LMAO!!!

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  2.   hmontaq says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Thanks and you too. I am looking forward to being abducted. At least I will be smiling on my milk carton. lol

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  3.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Emotions or being horny!!;-) I have met some women in their late 30's and in their 40's and man, they make men pale when it comes to their sex drive!! They are animals!! Of course that depends if they found out how to enjoy sex properly or they stuck in the stone ages where intercourse is the only type of sex they know.;-) Don't get raped my friend because you are a handsome guy and if they were aggressive and tried to attack me in the past, then they would be 10 times worse with you because you are good looking!!;-) But I hear what you are saying and wonder how some relationships work as well. Don't be too available or else your face might end up on a milk box carton and be missing because you were abducted by some women!!:-) I will be like, "Hey wait, I know that guy on the box!!":-) Anyway, great talking to you and good luck as well with your relationships.:-) You deserve a good woman.:-) Regards, Joseph Moyer

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  4.   hmontaq says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Oppps I thought you said you were married. Sorry about that. I would disagree with this subject. Men make those commercials and Twilight is for kids and very young women. Ladies in my age range are driven by emotion. Either way I still wonder how relationships work at all... lol I will make myself available and see where it takes me. Good Luck H

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  5.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    No, they worked out for my older brother, not me.;-) And also for my younger brother as well who also married a nurse. No, I still have terrible luck with women and probably always will but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt.;-) And studies show that women are more looks conscious now then men are. One of the studies was very interesting. They had women list the five greatest turn-offs in the order of what they hated the most first. 1.Overweight men(me, not my brothers);-) 2.Short men 3.Bald men 4.Ugly men that aren't covered under the first three categories. 5.Stupid men. So you could be stupid but if you are talk and good looking and not overweight or bald, you can still snag women pretty well.;-) This is a recent trend though within the last ten years. But pretty women need to have even more criteria to weed out men they aren't interested in because they get bombarded by handsome men. So that is where the players come into play. The handsome man with the best game playing skills gets the woman over the handsome men who aren't good players. And women have now become more visual as equality has caused them to pick up the bad habits of men unfortunately. That is influenced by the media and movies. Remember that coke commercial when all the women would take a break to watch out the construction worker take his shirt off and drink coke. And look at all the old spice commercials and various other ones. Plus the movies promote it as well. Why do you think the twilight trilogy was so incredibly popular? Because every vampire and werewolf were totally muscular and hot and used every excuse to take and keep their shirts off to show off their muscular hot bodies. There is even a satire movie coming out that I am dying to see that points this very fact out called "Vampires suck" that totally rips on the Twilight trilogy. So women have been trained to me as visual as men. Men on the other hand have been turning less looks conscious as they start to go for fat women that treat them well over hot women who treat them like crap. Why? One, they always get sex whenever they want it most of the time. Two, they are treated and mothered and many men, especially men that were raised by single mothers seek a mother figure and these overweight women have a strong maternal air about them that the men love. So many men are becoming less visual and more emotional as our society becomes more equal. Fascinating change of events. But this a Westernized phenomena. Asian women in Asian countries are becoming Westernized so they suffer from the same symptoms. But men and women in Muslim countries are exactly how you say. Men are visual and women are emotional. Times are changing my friend and not for the best. We have the highest divorce rate and single parent rate in the world and studies show that as other countries start sharing our values, their relationships start sharing our same problems. That's at least what the statistics and studies say that I have been taught in college and graduate school have said. That's the way the cookie crumbles.;-) And both my brothers are happy despite only being married to average looking women because their wives personalities are so great even though they dated many hot women when they were younger.:-) Take it easy.:-) Joseph Moyer

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  6.   hmontaq says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Ah... so things did work out for you!!! Fantastic! I do at least know one thing about women and its that they are emotional creatures and that its not looks that are their first interest its what you say. Thats why we have players. They know what to say and have that game playing skill. Again its the "How did she marry that guy"? You see it all the time. Men on the other hand are the visual ones. We look first and ask questions later lol.

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  7.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Oh, by the way, he is now happily married to an average looking female with a wonderful personality who is a nurse at a cardiac ward and is also very smart. So he made out all right in the end.:-)

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  8.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Thanks for you kind words, hmontaq but I just honestly call it as I see it.:-) And I know EXACTLY what you mean as far as the whole bad boy thing attraction. I have worked at two halfway houses for excons, worked in prison ministries with cons, and abused children's home, a delinquent, children's home, two mental hospitals, a head trauma unit, two homeless shelters, a rape shelter, and done short term missionary work in an all black part of Richmond that was extreme dangerous. And I have seen TONS of women that go for the bad boy type so I have seen the drama all the time. I have to try and figure women out at least a little bit because I do counseling that marital and premarital in nature and I have to at least attempt to understand their perspective. But when I see so many clients when I was at the rape shelter and when I am doing counseling, that love these bad boys that treat them like crap and leave them with kids, etc., I just shake my head in wonder what it is that keeps them coming back to those guys. My older brother has been a counselor for years and he got so discouraged with women he counseled and well as his personal experiences, that he gave up and is now a kindergarten teacher and loves it. And many of the women are very pretty and could do much better but they still go for the bad boys. His theory is that most bad boys are good looking and the women are very looks conscious and just go by looks and these pretty women deep down have low self-esteem because they know that their looks are the only thing they have going for them since they never really had to develop a good personality and just skated by on their looks. He also said as far as his personal dating, he would meet a pretty girl and treat her like crap and she would be crazy for him but when he started to fall in love with them and treat them well, they dumped him!! I think their low self-esteem combined with their looks consciousness makes them go for these bad boys that treat them badly because deep down, that is the way they feel that they should be treated and then they reject anyone who is nice to them because they feel that they don't deserve to be treated well because they are shallow themselves and not very good people themselves, and if you are treating them nicely, then you must be even a worse person than they are as far as your personality. That's what I have come up with based on both of our experiences and studies of women with bad boys. Thanks for wishing me good luck because I will need it.;-) I honestly don' think you will need it though but I wish you well.:-) Nice talking to you.:-) Joseph Moyer

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  9.   hmontaq says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    We all have our downsides it seems to women. Like the whole bad boy thing. Then they wonder why they get abused, treated like crap, left with kids, ect... He's a bad boy remember? That drama is what you like. Thanks for the complement on my profile. I stopped trying to figure women out and leave it to chance. I have been off and on here for a year. Whatever happens happens... Good luck to you Joseph.

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  10.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Thanks for the comment.:-) I'm on another site too and have been there for two years and have had over 2,500 rejections although to be fair, some are too lazy to respond and say they aren't interested so I have to close the match myself. Also it doesn't help that I am bad looking, partially disabled and don't make lots of money.;-) And true, being nice does not come easy to people. That's why people like you and I have to make up for the slack and be nice despite how poorly we are treated. I am just grateful you aren't treated as poorly as I am. You are a good looking guy who is athletic and not overweight like I am and women like guys they can do activities with other than talk like you have down. You have an excellent profile.:-) Age may be your only enemy as it has been mine.;-) A lot of women want younger guys and the rest are often damaged goods with children out of wedlock or divorces and that leaves them kind of messed up. I know, I counseled enough of them.;-) I hope you do better on this site. Women don't like me on here especially since most of them have kids and I don't want anyone with kids and I am too old for the rest of them who haven't been spoiled by bad relationships yet.;-) But like you said in your profile, I too wish that they would at least respond back and say they weren't interested. Countless females are too lazy to write back and the anonymity and lack of accountability of the internet makes it all the more easy for them to be rude and not answer back. You might want to try naomiaw. She is a smokin hot Filipino woman who also lives in Florida who I have talked to and loves activities and is a nice person. I think she is online now if you want to check. Just a suggestion. Take care.:-) Joseph Moyer

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  11.   hmontaq says:
    Posted: 08 Aug 10

    Interesting read Joseph. I agree that mens rejection rate is far higher. Im on another well known site and I may get a message once a week and I consistantly send messages over 50 times a week. On this site there arent many women from my state. Being nice seems to not come easy to most people...

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  12.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 10

    Well done guys!! I read all the messages and most of them I thought were right on, well thought out and articulate. I agree that women should be polite enough to email a guy back to say they are not interested and that guys that are rude in that process are in the wrong and should be thanking the woman for their honesty. Then the male has closure and can move on. And women do have the ultimate power when it comes to dating which I mentioned in other blogs was a way that they developed over the centuries to level the playing field between men and women because the entire world has generally been a male dominated world with male dominated societies. Muslims still dominate their women massively and I hear horror stories about women burning themselves and scalding themselves to get out of arranged marriages where they are the 3rd or 4th wife and not the alpha wife. Traditionally they are allowed up to four women as wives but as many as they can support for consorts and fidelity is almost unheard for men while women are sentenced to death for little infractions. Even in America who probably has the most equality for women in the world, this is only a recent development and America traditionally did not acknowledge women rights like the right to vote. So all over the world, women have developed as a strategy to manipulate men in marriage and romance to try and gain the power they needed to become equal. Cleopatra was one of the most well known people in the world to use that power to manipulate powerful men. Esther in the Bible did the same thing. Napoleon had his woman that motivated him thus the saying behind every good man is a good woman which is a nice way of saying it.;-) When it comes to online dating, women still have the power over men and can reject them or be lazy and not respond back to them at all. This does force men to send out numerous messages to women because of the high rejection rate, some higher than others. I don't agree that all men will have as high as a 1 in 5 ratio like the video stated of success. Some of us that aren't as marketable due to lack of good looks and/or money will get a low return rate not to mention individuals who are intimidating to women because their understanding of the games women play being evident in their profiles tend to scare women off for they know they won't be able to use traditional manipulation techniques and it is too hard to accurately figure a man that is more complex and multifaceted and has a deeper agenda than they are used to from men and especially themselves. These types of men really scare women away as the women know that no power will be able to be gotten over these males by most women. It is easier to stick with men that can be easily manipulated through traditional mechanisms and are easier to control so the women still feel that they have an at least equal amount of power over the man like they have been doing before in centuries. I love Ichibod's reference to only dealing with women he has a personal contact with or at least one on facebook. He can then hold them accountable since they have less anonymity. Skype is an excellent way to hold both sides accountable and remove lots of anonymity which is why I have a Skype account and enjoy using it so people will know more about me and that I am who I say I am. There are scammers of all kinds out there especially trying to get money or citizenship into this country and I have heard many accounts of men and women who have been scammed on these kind of sites. But I think the rules of interaction should be equal. Both sides should reply back to individuals they are not interested in in a polite and civil manner. Neither side should be lazy in that capacity. Both sides should thank those who are kind enough to be honest and reply that they are not interested and should not respond in a hostile manner when they are rejected like someone above pointed out. I personally thank every female that takes the time to write back and turn me down and I never bother them again. Also, both sides should be honest if they have a list of other people and tell the others in that ten that are left that they are not ruling them out but have others that they feel they would want to pursue first and if the person is mature enough, they will go by who has the most common interests and see how that works and then work their way down the list. They shouldn't go by shallow motivations like looks or money and both men and women are guilty of that mistake. Studies show that commonality of interests and goals is what makes a relationship last over sexual attraction and that sexual attraction can be built up through the process of association while commonality of interests and goals is much more difficult to fake. A guy can fake that he really likes chick flicks only so long and women can only fake that they like horror movies so long if both sides are just doing it for the sake of sex or to keep the relationship going. That's why it is most important to put the most emphasis on the one's on your list that have the most common interests and goals and explain incompatibilities to the one's lower on the list so they won't feel like they are being lower on the looks for shallow reasons like looks as was mentioned in the video. And even mentioning to those who have insurmountable differences in interests why you rejected them in the first place so they know it wasn't because of looks. For example, I won't date anyone who doesn't love cats, which is one of my deepest passions in life or isn't a Christian because of being unequally yoked. Plus I won't date someone who I think is shallow and into looks consciousness, money, shopping, traveling or partying. And I state this clearly in my profile. Which brings me to segway into profiles. I think everyone should write longer profiles explaining more about themselves and should not be ashamed of who they are and what they are into. Laziness is not an excuse and shallow profiles often are either scammers, mentally lazy people, or just plain shallow people that have nothing deeper to write about and are trying to conceal their shallowness. That is why I have the longest profile on here and I expect anyone interested in me to read the entire thing as I have read the entire profile of anyone I have ever contacted. That way you can know the person better and see your common interests better and your compatibility better. Finally, don't be afraid to make new friends that are different than you unless you are myopically focused on just finding someone for a relationship. I myself am having a wonderful time with a young lady who states she isn't looking for a relationship, wants someone younger than me, and is Mormon which is really not close to my type of Christianity. But after I made it clear that I knew what she was looking for and that I wasn't it but was curious about her religion(because I went to Seminary and am a Pastoral Counselor and interested in all religions especially less well known Christian ones) she told me much about the Mormons that I never knew that I was wrong about and she was worried that I thought she was attacking me. I thanked her profusely for my knowledge was straightened out. She is a delight to talk to and more mature than the vast majority of the women on this website especially many twice to three times her age(she is 20) and extremely intelligent and gifted. We both were honest and know where we stand with each other and no games are being played and their is not dating tension since that was set straight at the beginning and she hasn't let the fact that she is one of the prettiest women on the website go to her head. I am honored to know her and to correspond with her. If more people were as honest with her, then pensiveness on both sides of the genders can be reduced and she isn't lazy either or myopic like a person just seeking a relationship is. But hey, if that is all you are interested in especially those women who are getting older and worried about finding someone, just be honest about it and politely reject guys that don't fit what you want in a relationship and be honest. If it is mostly about his looks or lack of money, tell him so. And men, if you are shallow enough to just be going by looks and aren't reading their profiles, admit it to them if you turn them down or they are lower on your list. Tell them honestly that there are nine other women better looking and younger than them that you are pursuing first before you get to them. If you are going to be shallow, at least be honest about your shallowness so the female knows where she stands and what kind of guy you are and vice versa, women should be honest about their shallowness and simply state that that particular man isn't good looking enough for them. Honesty on dating websites will eliminate much wondering and stress that is caused by not knowing and increase accountability which will increase civility on online dating sites. The man in the video is talking about the average shallow man. It is time for humankind to evolve past that and prove him wrong. Joseph

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  13.   Jenna says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 10

    I hope you see me now in your list! I see you in mine!

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  14.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 10

    Nope, go check yours cause I just viewed YOU. And when I look at who I viewed, there you are. I want to know all the tricks. I know about the remove from your who's viewed me button though.

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  15.   Jenna says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 10

    I wonder if I did not show up because I am female like you,it probably does not show same sex visitors?! I don't know!

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  16.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 10

    Hi Jenna how did you do that? It shows nothing that you viewed me. I wanna know the tricks, c'mon! I didn't even know there was a filtered flirts folder until 4 or 5 days ago. C'mon spill it.

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  17.   Jenna says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 10

    Hey PetiteChick glad they sorted that sh*t out with your account! Just visited your pro,nice pics of you and the family! Keep it up sis!

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  18.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 10

    Comment by Shelly on 5 July 2010: Interesting discussion. I have been on a lot of different dating sites in my day and you can count on fake profiles, fake people anywhere you go. If you haven’t noticed nowadays lots of people are not honest. The same here as anywhere. Brush it off, be who you are and don’t change anything to suit someone else’s needs. You mentioned trying to reconcile your feelings a couple of times. Why? They are yours to have. You will find the same things in the real world as you would in cybercity. ------------------ Comment by S.ShellyL on 10 July 2010: Hello all, new handle. FORMERLY PetiteChick! -------------------- You dumb ass biy--ch! I got something for you!!!

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  19.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 10

    MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN COMPROMISED. I AM NOT S.SHELLYL. THIS HAS BEEN REPORTED.

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  20.   S.ShellyL says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 10

    Hello all, new handle. FORMERLY PetiteChick!

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  21.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    You should take you own advice Alexander. The first post to me regarding Men hurt more, I asked you not to bother me. Yet you kept at it with the comments. YOU DID. Say you didn't? I asked you not to admonish me and to mind your business. What did Matthew do? Teacher, teach thyself! You kept at me. NOW YOU WANT TO THINK I HAVE A THING FOR SOMEONE WHO COULD VERY WELL CONSIDER ME A PIECE OF MEAT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I think you like the attention I'm giving you here as you don't seem to be ashamed, when in fact you should be. I guess that's because you didn't get it otherwise. I can dig that. Know what? You're right! So as not to give you any false hope I CEASE AND DESIST!

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  22. Posted: 09 Jul 10

    petite with all the attention you are putting into me, i might start to think you really have a thing for me. Did you learn in High School to ignore the boys that bothered you. Most wanted the attention. I tell my students to ingore the boys and they will stop bothering you.

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  23. Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Tom, thankyou for your comments. First point, you are assumeing because Petite said that I have an issue with rejection. There is no basis of fact there only her hypothsis or her want to pass on her anger. Yes I did sent a flirt after reading some of her earlier blogs. Not to date her, but as a way of making conntact because i liked what she wrote. Yes this starts as a date site, and I could have just stated so in a blogg. I am new to the bloggs and am finding my way. Second, I started reading another blogg just this past evening or perhapps early this morning on mens feelings. I noticed that Petite had and angry tone towards icobod and based on what he wrote i could not see the reason for her anger. Apparently she does have some past dealings with him, I did not know. Petite when off on me calling me names making attacks, and assuming many things that are false. I did kick back,only again tried to get back to the issue. She took offence that i could disagree with her and as a tactic switched back to this blogg. Tome go back the original blog and read. See if I started anything other than unexpectedly stepping on her land mine. Also, be careful about promoting rummers without checking out the entire topic. See what happened to me afer reading some of the bloggs and making a comment-Im trying to avoid character assination for feeling anger in anothers voice.

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  24.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Comment by alexander121 on 14 June 2010: Hmmm, look at the issue in a different way. The one who feels hurt by the “cheating” may feel too posessive. The feeling of “I own YOU” leads to the feeling of ” you broke my trust”. Too much ownership has been put upon us by relegious dogma. I have been through this in my life more than once. I know the hurt, humilliation (sp?)and anger of a spouse “cheating” both in an emotional and physical way. I had to change my way of looking at the situation to overcome the hurt. I grew up in a very relegious community and believe me when I say “following the rules” does not lead to a fair, good, or even a “godly” life. Our emotions are very much linked to how we look at a situation, and often linked to the dogma we grew up with. Our happiness related to “owning” or “possessing” is not as great as in being able to “share” with others. Sex is very personal. Perhapps we would have less hurt if we learned to be less possessive and share in the glory around us. I’m not suggesting free orgies, we must be careful about disease, but lets stop controlling each others biological urges and talk about what each person needs to feel loved and whole. Good communication goes long way. Biologicly men and women have different goals; as humans we can overcome our biology only to a degree. Be opened to each others feelings and make a decision as to what you be comfortalble with. I just don’t like to see people blindly follow what another group or person says is the only why for Humans to be. you see, Matthew, we would have never worked out. You don't particularly have what I want in a man. 1. I'm not seeking dating experiences at this time with Caucasian men 2. I have certain spiritual ideologies that you don't. 3. You saw the not so agreeable comment I made about cyber communicating - yet you still decided to write to me and ask me to participate. Who looks desperate again? Did I respond to either of your emails? If so post it here. So again, I ask you who looks silly?

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  25.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    From Emotional or Sexual Infedility, Which is the greatest sin? Comment by PetiteChick on 16 June 2010: Comment by icfny.com on 23 March 2010: In the early days of online dating sites were filled-with online profiles of people who are thieves, con artists and fraudsters ———————————————– LOL. So, what’s changed? If anything it has gotten worse with technological advancements. Skype anyone?

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  26.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    From Alexander121 - Click here to view profile Received Jun 18 (21 days ago) Subject hello From Alexander121 you are a beautiful woman. i like your comments on the blogs. My name is Matthew Received Message From Alexander121 - Click here to view profile Received Jun 19 (19 days ago) Subject You are invited to video chat From Alexander121 Im inviting to to video chat http://www.tokbox.com/Matthew8270 click on the link about to chat and video conf YOU DO LOOK SILLY TO be arguing with a woman who rejected you. Sorry it's just how I see it!

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  27. Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Really petite, and your name calling is a stroke of intellegence and charm. You say Im desperate!!! Take a look in the mirror.

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  28.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Whatever Alexander. Keep talking, while I keep rejecting you. And who do you think will look the silliest? Talk it up, admonish me, stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Let your source help you. Have at it.

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  29.   Tom4Blaq says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Dear Alexander: Why are you speaking to this lady this way? It appears that she did not take too kindly to your advances and now you want to punish her for it. Why may I ask? You have no idea about this lady nor the other many wonderful Black women I've come to know and admire have endured here. Where do you get your information?

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  30. Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Petite if this is what you must do to feel good about yourself go at it. I can see that gender communication is going to be a long issuse to solve. Please feel free to flig you emotions. The source tells me what i need to know.

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  31.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    You are either extremely supid or just desperate.

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  32.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    I got it right babe. This is where it began. Where YOU flirted with me after discussing some points on the subject matter. Above where I stated I didn't particuarly care for cyber type communication and what DID YOU DO? Flirted, ASSUMED I WANTED YOU, I IGNORED YOU AND BLOCKED YOU. THIS IS WHERE IT BEGINS BABE. THIS IS THE BEGINNING. THE OTHER THREAD IS WHERE IT ENDED.

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  33.   Tom4Blaq says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Dear PetiteChick: I must say I see your original point further. I am ashamed to see some men behave like this. I must say, that I hope you will not forget that someone such as the person you are referring to, is in a league of his own. I have no doubt that you did not offend this man and I am astounded by his behavior. I will be heading out again this evening and wanted to drop in and wish you the best. Warm regards, Tom

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  34. Posted: 09 Jul 10

    PetiteChick, you are so angry you can't even post on the corret blogg. You may need to look into your anger issues. transposing your anger and issues onto me will not solve your issues. Also, you will have better results with blogging specific issues if you stick to the topic and not into a slew of assumtions to "try and Win". This is not about winning, its about stating or debating ideas and concepts. When I first started reading your bloggs I was impressed, but now I am saddened by your loss of control. Please return to your previous thinking ability. stop attacking people and attack issues. Gender differences will be better served if people can discuss emoitons and not flig emotions at each other.

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  35.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Comment by PetiteChick on 9 July 2010: I don’t want your wishes of peace and happiness because they are not genuine. You are not genuine. You are angry because I rejected you and then you came in here to tell me how to talk to someone I’ve been talking to and having disagreements with for months about how he and other Black men have behaved toward Black women. Rejection shouldn’t make a man behave this way Alexdander

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  36.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    More bruised arrogance Comment by PetiteChick on 9 July 2010: You immediately came to the blog to attack ME. Meanwhile there was a BLACK GENTLEMAN who saw eye to eye with me. Further there were some women who commented. Guess you didn’t see that I apologized to Ichibod. But I’m not sure now whether he deserves it. A tone, yes with Ichibod because of a past with Ichibod, NOT YOU. What’s it got to do with YOU. If two people argue and you have no clue what it’s about why are you jumping in? You are probably having bruises about now. You can respond wherever, however, you please but I have never seen you enter a blog with “WOW.” I have issues with men who badger Black women. I have issues with men who don’t want to accept their responsibility in the struggles we face as a race. YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST MINDED YOUR OWN BUSINESS. It wasn’t about YOU. It was between Ichibod and I that goes a long way back. You could have responded, but since you don’t have a clue about WHY I talked to Ichibod in th fashion that I did I suggest you mind your business. Maybe if you had asked. Maybe if you had just made general statements instead of moving directly toward me. There was a Black man there also he insulted, this because the Black man agreed with me. I dare you to get into Rene06’s business as he agreed with every word I stated, so did some other women. The other women don’t have the differences and arguing that Ichibod and I have had. You still flapping your gums cause you’re an almighty knowledgable one. I asked you not to admonish me. I asked you to leave me alone with your disrespectful self. I am asking you for the last time. What’s wrong are you mad that you can’t curse me via email? You were blocked the minute you flirted with me. Go away for the last time go away. Stay out of my business. Otherwise approach a Black man the way you have approached me! The same Black man that agreed with me throughout. You pompous idiot! Post where you want, leave my name out of your mouth. What a strategy!

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  37.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Comment by PetiteChick on 8 July 2010: Alexander honey, Ichibod and I have a history that you might not know much about. Maybe you do. Whether it was uncalled for is none of your business. I’d hope you wouldn’t enter a thread I was in so that I did not have to tell you that you were RUDE and really not gentlemanly by flirting with me without reading my profile to see that I was not interested in Caucasian men. And further, inviting me to Skype with you when clearly in a thread I discussed my dislike for such avenues of communication. I tell you what though, when one is responding in a thread ONE SHOULD CLEARLY be able to make it known who it is they are referring to rather than bunching comments together much like Ichibod did with me and has done to me in the past, so as to try to “imply” things. Don’t you ever in your life again admonish me about anything. People have disagreements all the time. What I stated isn’t foreign. There is validity. Finally it is common sense. Step away from the computaaaaa!

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  38.   Tom4Blaq says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 10

    Dear Petite: Not a problem at all - you are very welcome. Thank you for the compliments as well. Warm regards, Tom

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  39.   Tom4Blaq says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 10

    Dear Godiva61: Thank you for your concern. I'm ok, and I thank you for asking. I just updated my profile a little bit so we'll see what happens. The great Frank Sinatra! No one can sing New York's Alma Mater better than Frank! Rat pack, smooth and cool New York, New York; Fly me to the Moon, ahh! You have good taste Godiva61. Warm regards, Tom

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  40.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 10

    @nawlunzguy: I forgot to mention that a lot of it is simply arrogance on the part of some of these men. Some simply don't read and the other portion do it out of sheer arrogance. I will NOT BELIEVE under any circumstances that every single one of these men simply choose not to read, as evidenced by some of the positive feedback I've received. The arrogance is what bothers me as well.

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  41.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 10

    Nawlunzguy: My sincerest and heartfelt thanks to you for the time it took you undertake the task you said you were willing to do. Know that it is greatly appreciated by me. I must now add you to the list of other gentlemen "who get it." Photos = Change them often *many people speak of generate profiles (and they do exist here). 18-99 = the default setting for age range. I have in the past included minimum and maximum age ranges but it does not matter. Just like my preferences don't. So the last time I update the profile it was just set to default. Putting the age range in there is still like the men who contact me w/o reading my profile. They don't care about that, or as you put it "wishful" thinking. *good one* LOL Body type classification = it differs. Honestly. So I let the viewer decide. I've seen men who say they are athletic and that is hardly the case. There are some times when I appear heavier than I would normally be (woman thang, Nawlunzguy *wink-wink*) and then there are times when I'm normal. It is one of the reasons I change the photos so often. I also include photos that are spontaneous and not just "posed for." The spontaneous photos are my attempts at showing my true self (on the good days and bad days). Hahaha! When I mentioned "show up again after a disappearing act" is just that. I may have begun conversations with somene early on in my membership. Chat, IM, etc., and unknown reasons...poooof their gone. Only to come back months later to say hello and try to pick up where we left off (as though I waited for his return). Now c'mon! LOL. I won't do skype or anything relating to a webcam. These are for personal reasons of my own. Knowing myself and what I need. If I met someone from another state and we were to begin to talk (which has happened earlier on) and I actually begin to like you, trust me skyping will NOT be enough for me. Then I find that in a lot of cases that it is all it will ever be. An online love affair. I don't want an online love affair. I want REAL LIFE LOVE AFFAIR with someone I see more often than not. I have set my parameters for the Northeast region. But again, it does not stop others from viewing, flirting and "interested in." They are only filtered. The men with no photos who come back to view me DO contact me and flirt as well. Many do have paid memberships and view me multiple times. So sometimes that's true and sometimes it isn't. Those that can do very little can not email. Once upon a time my profile heading or somewhere within the very first portion of the body of my profile stated I would not talk to men who don't take the time to post a photo. Doesn't matter. I have many filtered flirts right now from men with no photo all Caucasian (so they say). I'm kind of "want to get my money's worth." I will chalk this up to the quality of the site, which is not the best. Anyone in the world can post on these forums and say awful awful things. These sites can't demand that someone provide a photo so... Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you again! Do I have to pay you? I can't cause MzBrownsugar owes me some money! LOL. Have a splendid day, Mr. Nawlunzguy!

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  42.   Nawlunzguy says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 10

    @PetiteChick - My apologies. I did indeed frequent the post, “Online dating: Men’s strategy” posted by James. I also viewed the “Ask Your Tango” Video, and read the majority of comments. Last I visited your profile in the hopes I would be clear on how best to comply with your request. It was a bit more of an undertaking than I planned and frankly, I became confused as to how to respond or comment. It got late and ultimately I put the promised reply aside until I could better gather my thoughts in order to provide you with an informed, intelligent response. So here goes… My initial reaction to the “Ask Your Tango” Video was mixed. I neither support nor deny the views expressed. What I feel it lacks is an unbiased and non-stereotype response. Do some men view online meeting sites as “sport”? No doubt they do. Does the opposite gender use these same internet platforms for personal gain or for reasons other than they’re intended. Of course they do. Each person is an individual with their own unique perspective and motivations. Having had posts on social sites for the purpose of meeting someone, I considered that a lengthy, all-telling bio would indicate sincerity. It would lead one to think so, or so I thought. But I actually received comments that it was “too much to read”. This was confusing to me. Here I was pouring my very heart and soul into an internet site divulging my interests, likes and preferences, with marvelous detail and inclusive of my style of humor. I felt that if you have but one chance to make a good first impression, I was going to tackle the task with honesty, sincerity and completeness. It was my hope the viewer would be able to gain some insight about the “real me” from such effort. My reasoning was that if I could at least capture but a small bit of interest, I could then “fill in the gaps” with additional email texting and perhaps at some point, meet on Skype or Yahoo Messenger using a headset to “meet” and experience a ‘live’ conversation and exchange. To answer the questions you pose in the post, “Online dating: Men’s strategy”, I cannot understand why Caucasian men contact you. You clearly indicate you are seeking only “Latino, Multi-ethnic or Islander ethnic origin” clearly indicating that WM or BM are excluded from your interests. As for the non-existing photo, in this day and age of digital cameras and scanners, it is hard to ‘believe’ someone is unable to provide a headshot of themselves. I do not personally subscribe to the notion that one must remain “anonymous”, or is incapable FOR ANY REASON. That’s just me. Continued viewing would seem to indicate an interest; a reason for not contacting you might merely be the person is a non-subscriber to the site or service and are therefore, unable to send anything except a free ‘flirt’ or “interested”. Again, for me, if there’s ANY indication of mistruth, including areas where they live, I brand the person as someone who is capable of fabricating other details and write them off. I wasn’t clear on what you meant by (they) “Disappear and then return the same way they left as though no conversations ever took place?” so I have no comment. Those that indicate an interest but don’t “qualify” based on your profile criteria either cannot read or are simply “wishful thinkers”. Insulting replies reveal a juvenile mindset which is why they don’t ‘get the hint’. I am unable to offer further thought as to motivation or ‘strategies’ as you classify it; I believe I have covered this in some respect. I cannot vouch for the reason there is a preponderance of WM who seem to perform the aforementioned tasks. I don't think WM have the market cornered on this notion, but cannot explain the abundance of interests you experience from this group. As for your profile, I see nothing unusual about it. It offers a seemingly clear picture of what you seek, provides details about your personality, and is accompanied by a generous amount of photos. I will make one observation, are you truly interested in a LTR with an 18 y/o or someone 99 years of age? I realize age is merely a number. But you might consider narrowing the field some to indicate a more sincere preference range. You also don’t classify your body type which seems obvious from the full body shots you’ve posted; I wasn’t sure why you might not select from the range of descriptions offered. OK, well that was a mouthful and I hope my reply provided some answers to your query. I would be happy to clarify or provide additional insight; you need merely ask m'lady. G'night all. Hugs and warm wishes to one and all.

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  43.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 10

    Anyways, I just said that to say IF there were more like these gentlemen here that would have crossed my path perhaps I wouldn't be so uncomfortable. These are gentlemen like Tom4Blaq I give props to!

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  44.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 10

    Ooops hit the send button too quick hereforu99 - Click here to view profile Jun 29 (7 days ago) Hi PetiteChick Hey PC...your profile kinda' isn't and why I like it. How are you...and you're right about my species...neanderthal or knucklehead...some both. You seem pretty cool. Best ----------------------- From SillyNSweet - Click here to view profile Received Jul 5 (40 hours ago) Subject Hi Petite chick! Silly N Sweet Dear petite chick, I am responding because it sucks when you put a lot into your profile and people don't read it. I can tell you are more than a sexy, cerebral and romantic woman. Passion should be your middle name. I know I am not what you are looking for, but I wanted to let you know some men will read your profile and be totally consumed with the woman behind the photos. ----------- Jun 23 (13 days ago) Subject i read your profile..... From royal9551 This section is supposed to tell you what I want in a man. THAT WOULD BE THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF ALL OF THE ABOVE. Looking for ethnicity: Islander, Latino / Hispanic, Mixed / Multi what no white chocolate.. i am so disappointed.. i love the i am not moving n neither are you line royal.. the pain lol

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  45.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 10

    Shelly: Thank you for adding your two cents. I agree with you about reconciling my feelings. As a matter of fact I did get a couple of emails from some gentlemen who agree with me (my profile). Hereforu99 said:

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  46.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 10

    Hi Godiva, I appreciate your thoughts on it. I agree that there are knuckleheads anywhere you go, perhaps there just seems to be a lot of them here. This site to me, just seems like a "paid membership pick up place." Or an unpaid membership pickup place. Still, since it is a thread about "strategy" I thought that I could gain some insights from the MEN. It's ok.

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  47.   Shelly says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 10

    Interesting discussion. I have been on a lot of different dating sites in my day and you can count on fake profiles, fake people anywhere you go. If you haven't noticed nowadays lots of people are not honest. The same here as anywhere. Brush it off, be who you are and don't change anything to suit someone else's needs. You mentioned trying to reconcile your feelings a couple of times. Why? They are yours to have. You will find the same things in the real world as you would in cybercity.

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  48.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    @Ms. Petite, My brother always remind me, "that jerks come in a all colors"! I'm assuming that they are in cyberworld as well. I agree with Tom, pure rubbish, with a dash of idiocy! love godiva

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  49.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    @Tom4blaq, Sorry to hear to hear that the young lady in question, did not work out as planned, are you okay? I know it's a old cliche, "but everything happens for a reason"! Btw, I know it's a very late answer, but I am a big fan of Frank Sinatra and trust me, I have been ridiculed, labeled for being a fan of the COB, but guess what, still a big fan just the same. Frank said it best, That's Life! Hang in there, the best is yet to come!!! love godiva

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  50.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    Hi Tom! I am sorry to hear about what transpired with you and your lady friend. I do appreciate your attempts to help me delve a little further into this questions I posed. Much of what you've stated makes sense. However, I feel like if is this is what many only want there are sites specifically for this. Yepper! Why not go there? Wow, I know I can't tell folks what to do with their $$$$ or where to go but I'm just say'n. And I appreciate the fact that you know where I'm coming from. Much like if you were talking to a Caucasian woman and she didn't like your approach and admonished you - it would not feel prejudicial or could it? I doubt it. I do know there are some self-loathing individuals who do not like their own race (there is a blog topic on this very subject) and wonders never cease to amaze. Tom stated: "...I would not classify the above rubbish as a strategy at all. There are those who are apt to use others if they can with no regard for the others’ feelings. There are individuals who are very small minded and hide with shrowd of contempt. Ms.Petite you must understand that there will always exist those amongst us who are not like you and I or many others here who don’t quite see the world this way. Racism does live, but it does not reside in everyone." Petite: Thank you...........

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