Can you stand the... Weight?
Being a size 18 in a size 8 world.
First...happy New Year to all. Leticia is back and I have a few things to get off my chest, stomach, thighs and where...back there too! Let me be very honest with you, I did not realize that this was as big a problem until I started to write about it. The truth is I was always this chunky cute little kid, (that is after I got back from Philadelphia for the summer...another long emotional story from my childhood, and an entirely different article). Now when I say chunky I wore a size 11, 12, 13 for as long as I remember. By no means was I the original Star Jones but I certainly was not her new bobble head skinny post-surgery twin either.
That brings us to now, today, 2008. I'm searching around the internet for dating overweight and damn!! It is rough for the big folks out there. Which strikes me funny because according to the CDC (Center for Disease Control), over 39.8 million American adults are overweight. Let me break it down ever further, over 57%, and in some studies, as much as 67% of U.S. adults are either overweight or obese. No wonder every time I turn on the TV there's an ad for Jenny Craig or some miracle "fat be gone" pill.
Your perfect partner could be online right now...
What are you looking for?
There seems to be yet another double standard when it comes to the sexes. Men can have "love handles", "extra cushion for the pushin", or a "spare tire". But, on a woman it's just plain "FAT". We see far more guys with "beer bellies" in a pair of swim trunks than we ever see a big girl in a bikini.
Right now, I want to talk about attitudes towards dating someone that is overweight. There isn't a person on this site or any other that understands as I do; the importance of personal preference. I get it!! What I don't get is how people can use their personal preference as an explanation or excuse for being mean, vain, stereotypical, or shallow when attempting to date on line.
Example; the other night I'm checking my email minding my own business and up pops the little message box...do you want to chat? Sure, why not? After no more than two lines of hey, you woman me man...he asks "so what are your measurements? Really, are you kidding me? Do you want to know my sign too? I get that my pic on my profile is very enigmatic, and it's done on purpose. However, if you READ my profile you'll see that I'm in a relationship and only here for friendships and (research).
Why then if you have READ my profile is it important to know what my measurements are. Or as MrSexyPerfectman with a fake model picture on his profile asked..."I mean are you big, fat, what?" I send him my picture. After another couple of minutes of him telling me how "hot" I am. I've already decided that this guy is a complete jerk and worthy of me "wasting a little quality time on. What then happens is that I allow him to get all "hot and bothered" because he didn't take the time to READ my profile. I abruptly end the chat with... ‘Good luck finding what you're looking for, bye!"
I really get that there are people that are looking for a physical relationship ONLY. Then there are those that want more than that, however, attraction is a major factor in every relationship. It's even harder on the internet because initially you can't be sure who or what you're really getting. What disturbs me is the attitude. The "I dare you big fat person for trying to find someone; you're wasting your and my time. No one cares that you're smart, financially secure, well educated, committed and true...you are FAT!" Uggggghhh!
Now dare I step out and take a shot at being called sexist, but it's mostly guys that do it. WHY is that? What, women don't care who they date? Someone tell me please, how do you get your point across and explain your preference without demeaning someone in the process. Not that there hasn't been times when I thought about changing my profile to read...ALL short, balding guys with a small penis and hasn't read a book since high school...need not apply!
Oscar Wilde said, "No object is so beautiful that, under certain conditions, it will not look ugly". Leticia says, "Ugly is as ugly does...don't do ugly you are far too beautiful for that".
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