How to Contact a Woman - divagal926's take

Posted by Leticia, 16 Mar 07

Our Connections Webzine is full of great articles and now it's even better because it's going to contain articles from YOU, our members. So if you want to give us a movie review, tell us about a get-together you might have on, have a beef you want to get off your chest then here's your chance. Just send your article to articles at chellaul dot com and we will review it and if accepted it will appear in our Connections Webzine....just like this one from divagal926.

You've just come across a profile that has caught your eye and you can't wait to send that first message. A few days go by and no response. Why didn't she reply? Well, it could have been what was written in your e-mail (or not, in many cases). You've only got one chance to make an impression across that two-dimensional screen, so make it count. Here are four tips on writing an e-mail that's sure to get you noticed —and more important, get you a response!

1. READ HER PROFILE We gals have put a lot of thought into what we've included in our profiles, and we like to know they are being read. By reading her profile, you have an opportunity in your initial e-mail to point out interests that you and the person you're writing to have in common. She loves backpacking? Mention how you just got back from a hiking trip in Bali. Her favorite food is Italian? Tell her you make a mean manicotti. Knowing you took the time out to find out a little more about the person you're writing to is destined to impress.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

2. TELL HER A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF That doesn't mean just writing down your number and saying, "Call me." A girl likes to get to know a guy a little before she hits reply. Hopefully, you've already filled out your profile so she has an idea of who you are and what you're about, but if you haven't, make sure you include a brief bio about yourself in your initial e-mail. This is especially important if you don't have a picture posted on the site. This is the only information the woman you're writing to will use to determine whether she's going to write you back.

And on the subject of pictures: Maybe you don't look like Brad Pitt, so you're waiting to win her over with words before you send a shot. But you should include a picture of yourself by the second e-mail. Most women will still correspond with you if they've been impressed by your words, but it does start to feel a little shady if you keep refusing to send your mug shot. (Are you a wanted man?) After all, you've probably seen ours, and turnabout is only fair play!

3. NO NEED TO POINT OUT THE OBVIOUS The site is a multicultural dating site, so it's pretty much implied that you're open to meeting people of different races. Pointing out in your initial e-mail that you "love black women" or "dig dating Asian chicks" is kind of redundant, and a little bit creepy. It makes a girl wonder if you're really interested in getting involved with someone outside of your race or just feeding a fetish. If you want to give a compliment, try making it specific to the person you're writing to, such as "I love your smile", or "You have really pretty eyes."

4. SPELL CHECK You wouldn't send out a cover letter with spelling and grammatical errors, right? That should also go for your initial e-mail. Remember, you're putting your best foot forward, so take a minute to reread your e-mail for mistakes. I often step away from my computer for a little bit, return and check over an e-mail one last time before sending it. It gives me a chance to see my note with fresh eyes.

Responses to "How to Contact a Woman - divagal926's take"

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  1.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 18 Apr 08

    Okay, okay! I know I'm on the late show with this one, but I didn't even know about this site when this article was launched. First, I think it is great that members have a chance to write articles for the site. We are the ones who use it the most and know what we want the most in, and from, the site. Secondly, I compliment Diva Gal on her courage and willingness to put herself out there. Finally, while all four of the points she touched on are valid on both sides of the sex divide, please pay attention to #4. While I know we all make mistakes on the grammatical and spelling tip, they are a peeve of mine. Even advertising signs and billboards have glaring errors. Wherever I see them my kneejerk is to wonder at least how much the author cares and even just how intelligent they are. If you're not sure, there's a good chance you're wrong. Take a second to check it out before you send it out!

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  2. Posted: 15 Jul 07

    Those are good tips, but pretty obvious don't you think? And...it works both ways. You ladies only see one side of the street. Us guys get messages from the ladies and it's quite obvious they didn't read our profile either.

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  3.   luckyone1 says:
    Posted: 03 Jun 07

    & i'll tell ya later ect. just run!!

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  4.   luckyone1 says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 07

    Excelent advice, I personaly like to read a profile after first glance ( men are visual creatures) but when i see, I'll tell ya later, I'll tell ya later',

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  5.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 02 May 07

    I also wish the guys would write an intro letter that is more than 10 words long...LOL!

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  6.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 07

    we look at the pictures too.

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  7.   Fala says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 07

    Just not enough of them Coco.

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  8.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 17 Apr 07

    i agree with you coco!!!

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  9. Posted: 17 Apr 07

    or we just skin through them....lol

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  10.   Coco says:
    Posted: 16 Apr 07

    Some of us are just happy to know that the guys are reading the profiles :)

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  11.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 16 Apr 07

    LOL! Pleasjure you are just confused.

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  12.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 16 Apr 07

    what about you women taking notes.

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  13.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 07

    Can't judge a book by it's cover.

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  14.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 13 Apr 07

    Now that I read every profile thoroughly I'm more confused..lol

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  15. Posted: 13 Apr 07

    i took my notes charlee

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  16.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 12 Apr 07

    lol@ pleasjure....

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  17.   charlee1 says:
    Posted: 09 Apr 07

    great article. guys take note!!

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  18.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 08 Apr 07

    Whutz wronge wit mi anglish?

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  19. Posted: 08 Apr 07

    good article..you have some good points!

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  20.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 08 Apr 07

    Intro..."Hi I'm pleasure marry me".....

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  21.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 05 Apr 07

    More rules!! Let them eat cake...

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  22.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 04 Apr 07

    Think I am going to sit back and see if an assertive woman will check me out...lol

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  23.   Fala says:
    Posted: 03 Apr 07

    Thanks for the article DivaGal. You offer great advice. Hopefully many will learn from it.

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  24.   SWEETNES20 says:
    Posted: 03 Apr 07

    OHHH I AM, AM I???

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  25. Posted: 03 Apr 07

    i might have to give it a try.

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  26.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 02 Apr 07

    your very welcome fala.

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  27.   SWEETNES20 says:
    Posted: 02 Apr 07

    OHHHHH IS THAT SOOO!!!!

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  28. Posted: 02 Apr 07

    does sweetnes20 know this pleajure? lol

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  29.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 07

    nothing taste better than sweetness20...yummie.

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  30.   Fala says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 07

    Thanks Unme! Thanks Sweetness!

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  31. Posted: 31 Mar 07

    lol @ pleasjure.........you go.

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  32.   sweetness20 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 07

    why, thank you!!

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  33.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 07

    take this sweetness...smooches

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  34.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 07

    k.i.s.s. keep it simple silly.

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  35.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 07

    Best way is to keep it simple.

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  36.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 07

    Great advice! This was a very good read and I think it will help a lot of us.

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  37.   pleasjure13 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 07

    The only time that I fail to comply with a womans preference as stated on their profile is when it comes to age and sometimes even race...This happens quite often because they are so damn fine and I can't help myself.If I happen to get a "notta" in which I often do...at least I don't have to regret not trying.I do not pursue the woman afterwards as I do not intend to be a pest.

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  38.   SWEETNES20 says:
    Posted: 27 Mar 07

    how true maz77, how true.

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  39.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 27 Mar 07

    great article....thanks

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  40. Posted: 26 Mar 07

    nice article....i got some good tips :-D

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  41.   maz77 says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 07

    Great article, hope more guys read this and put the hints into action.

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  42.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 07

    i agree with you fala.

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  43.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 07

    Great article. It's always important to read the profile because it also tells what type of person they're looking for, as well as their preferences.

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  44.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 07

    you betcha fala!!!

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  45.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 07

    i totaly agree with you fala.

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  46.   Fala says:
    Posted: 23 Mar 07

    I think articles by other members is a really good idea.

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  47. Posted: 22 Mar 07

    excatly jade, most. not all.

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  48.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 21 Mar 07

    i read the profiles, cause i know there is more to a person then there picture.

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  49.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 21 Mar 07

    Thank you for this article.Most men don't read profiles to find out about a women and what she is looking for and anything else about her.

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  50.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 07

    ahh, just be youeself and you will never lose.

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