Merry Christ - Chanukah-Kwanzaa - mas

Posted by Leticia, 16 Dec 07

When what you believe comes between you and the one you love...

You love the way they look, act, walk, talk and dream. They love all the things that the kids use to tease you about in grade school. His friends are your friends and your friends are her friends and your families couldn't have ordered a better partner from any catalog. So, why is it that around the holidays "you just can't be together"?

Happy...whatever you celebrate to you!!! Is it just me or does anyone else out there miss the good ole' days when people said Merry Christmas? Happy Holidays just doesn't cut it for me. I know, I know, not everyone celebrates Christmas. There are those that celebrate Chanukah or Kwanzaa and those that don't celebrate anything at all. What happens when you and your mate celebrate differently? Well, you know me; I like to step out on a limb every now and again, so with that I'd like to guess that the biggest conflict comes from the "other" members of the family right?

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

It would be a lot easier if we were all one universal color, one religion, and one big bore. I fell asleep just thinking about this one. Of course this is not how we think or feel and the reality is that even if everyone in the entire universe were to date interracially, we would still never be all the same anything. So, how do you get through the holidays, that are suppose to be about love, sharing and family, when the in-laws or the "other family" (cause it's never us right?), is hating, being selfish and only thinking about themselves?

Education and inclusion is my solution. It's been my experience that a lot of fear and rejection of people and their faith stem from lack of understanding. First, we must understand the difference in what our partner's beliefs are. Then we alone, attempt to have a discussion with our family to explain how important it is that we make our mate feel welcome and included in family traditions and celebrations. This is not an easy thing to do nor is it one that will be pulled off at 100% the first time around. It requires research, patience and lots of effort on all sides.

It helps if you can rotate family visits. I realize that this becomes difficult when friends and families living miles and some times even time zones apart. As with anything, proper planning goes a long way in a successful get-together. It's really you and your mate's responsibility to make each other feel a part of the extended family. Then there is always the choice to create your own gathering that reflects what you as a couple believe and cherish.

I'd like to think that there are many other families out there, besides my own that would love the opportunity to learn something new about different cultures, traditions and beliefs. It doesn't mean that you're trying to convert your family or even yourself. It simply means that you love someone else completely and enough to try to understand where their beliefs and faith come from.

The best part of having a relationship is the getting to know and growing stage. No matter if you're the same race or religion we all come to the table with differences that need to be understood (not necessarily agreed with), in order to go to the next step in that relationship. How many of us have totally different opinions than our parents? We still love and respect them. I think that is all anyone really wants.

So, what do you think, this year how about putting up seven candles for Kwanzaa over the fireplace, a Chanukah menorah by the window and the nativity scene on the front lawn? Don't forget that including someone else doesn't exclude you. There is something to love in everyone, if you are willing and open to find it.

27 responses to "Merry Christ - Chanukah-Kwanzaa - mas"

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  1.   SnehaSeeli says:
    Posted: 05 Mar 08

    I have a few months before I have to face this particular crossroad. I think it will come under the difficulty meter range of when my son's father and I had to share him for the holiday's. It wasn't difficult for a kid to do (two sets of presents!), but it was heck on me! I wanted him to experience the joys of santa claus, christmas trees, holiday decorations and the anticipation that comes on christmas eve. His father was about getting the holiday over with, with as little thought as possible (wow, that was a bit bitter...but pretty accurate). And through it all, there were the relatives from both sides, with opinions of their own. My point...instead of experiencing the holiday's, it became a battleground for the one person it should have been making happy memories for. Remember that when crossing our cultures, we have children involved.

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  2.   Fala says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 08

    I hope everyone is enjoying the first 2 weeks of the post-holiday season.

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  3.   anne says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 08

    i thought to myself,arwen't we really living in a pluralistic society anyway, so w/ this in mind , it shouldn't be that hard....

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  4.   Fala says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 08

    Yeah right Mossimo! I reply to you all the time and you know it!!!!

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  5.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 08

    I can't believe I have a reply from Fala the Great! hehe

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  6.   Fala says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    Right back at ya Mossimo!!!

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  7.   javan says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 08

    It was very interesting and has some nice teaching. The audio part of it made the whole thing nice and attractive.

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  8.   Fala says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 08

    The holidays are over and it's back to work tomorrow. Oh, woe is me!!!

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  9.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Happy New Year everyone! Its time for the airing of grievances. I have to say how much you have disappointed me

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  10.   Jabali says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Happy holidays.

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  11.   Sharon says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    Happy Holidays everyone... My Rabbi always told me that there were many roads to the top of the mountain...a very simple statement but very true. I don't discuss religion with friends or loved ones...who am I to say what is right or wrong... Have a great New Year everyone...and find your soul mate! Southern smiles and world peae, Sharon

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  12.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 07

    Happy Holidays Fala!

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  13. Posted: 28 Dec 07

    hope everybody had a great christmas!!

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  14.   SWEETNES20 says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 07

    HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!

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  15.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    Have a safe and Happy New Year to you all! I hope you all find love and happiness this year!

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  16.   Fala says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    lmao@Mossimo. Leave it to you to add a new twist to the holidays! Have a good one!

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  17.   Member says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Hi and hope that the most off you did have some great days! I realy like this side and for me like a german was the text very good to understand ! Here in Berlin most lost the believe on GOD and that is what make me sad! But all a better peacefull happy new year !!

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  18.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Another Festivus miracle! Time for the feats of strength!

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  19.   Fala says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Merry Christmas Everyone!

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  20.   dark1ande says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Separate vacations make more sense to me than separate holidays. Once you are bonded isn't it a family thing? All included and respected?

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  21.   Fala says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Merry Chrismahaunakwanzaaka to Everyone! and Happy Holidays to all my Afro chat mates out there! Let's all be good to each other!

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  22.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Dec 07

    Funny you are wishing greetins for all when for some of us the holiday has passed,(ck the calender next time). Life is not that simple,and holidays are not always merry. Each faith have meanings behind the holiday.Some are not joyful.this comes with understanding of the religion. Race is one thing and religion is another.the races can mix the religion bepending on how important it is too you is how you will relate to it. If Your faith has no meaning then find another who feels the sme and no problem. If it holds a great deal of meaning for you then do the same. More than likely your families are the same way. the only time you will have problems is hwen you turn your back on family and faith. then you have to find a way to show resepct for then and their belifes.Working that out takes time and a lot of love. I hope your eight days of Chanuaka was great! A marry Christman /Kawanas to the rest!

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  23.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 20 Dec 07

    That sounds like a good idea but there are a lot of religious nuts out there that would be highly offended by that.

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  24.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 07

    Happy Holidays to all my fellow browsers!!

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  25.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 19 Dec 07

    No matter what your religious affiliation, I wish you all a Happy Holiday season!

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  26.   kcfreshdef says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 07

    it would be nice not to offend anyone but it is not always possible. happy holidays is all inclusive

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  27.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 07

    happy holidays to everyone!!!!

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