Live your legend - Create real friendships with people you admire

Posted by Jordan, 19 Nov 14

"If you want to stand out just do what you say you will and kick a** at it." -Scott Dinsmore

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You've probably heard the idea that you become the sum of your five closest friends, it's something we've talked about on the show before. So what do you do if you want to change those five closest friends and you want to create new friends to become the sum of?

Scott Dinsmore of Live Your Legend is here to answer those questions and more. Today we talk about how to reach out and connect with the greatest influencers in your life, and how to set the stage for potential friendships and real connection. Join us for the 342nd edition of The Art of Charm.

More About This Show:

As the founder of Live Your Legend (LYL) and Ted Talk presenter, Scott knows a few things about helping people find and express who they really are in the world. One of the keys to doing that, he's found, is connecting with the right people and surrounding yourself with your greatest allies.

Originally LYL started out as career/business tools-type company but as Scott says in this episode, all the best tools in the world aren't going to do a thing for you if your friends are telling you're an idiot for using those tools. So he shifted gears and changed the focus of his organization.

On today's show he shares the best practices for connecting and creating friendships with people you admire and people who are going to bring out the best in you. If you don't have those kinds of people in your life right now and you want to expand your social circle, Scott has advice for you. His first suggestion may seem counter-intuitive, he says to not go to a networking event.

Instead, take a look at the people in your life right now and see who you admire and inspires you, and then find someone who brings you down. This next week choice to trade out time with the energy vampire for the person you admire. If that person you admire is someone you know personally invite them to get together.

Find some way to add value to them, obviously it's easier if they are already your friend you can simply ask them. But if you don't know them yet, do your research and find out what they may need help with right now. Always remember you do have something to offer to other people, even those who seem to have everything, you simply may have to find a creative way to help. It may be as simple as sharing with them what you're good at and then asking how you can apply your talents to help them.

If you feel nervous about talking with them or initiating contact simply imagine they are your best friend, and you just haven't chatted yet. Scott gives us a great example of how he did this when a well-known blogger moved to his area. The blogger invited about 50 people to meet up and chat when he settled in. Scott knew he'd only have a minute or two to chat with the blogger, who had been very influential for him, so he wanted to make it count.

Scott knew the blogger and his wife were vegans and he also knew the blogger was an avid runner. So he compiled a list of vegan restaurants in the area and a list of the best local running trails. He chatted with the blogger, thanked the man for being such an influence in his life and then handed him the suggestions he'd gathered. The blogger was so touched he invited Scott out for a run, that run led to the two becoming friends and running an ultra-marathon together.

Whether or not you meet your new BFF this way, you can still apply the same principles. Find someone you admire and want to connect with, find out a need they have and find a way to fill it. They'll remember you, and will be very willing to interact with you in the future.

Naturally there's plenty more in this episode with Scott so check it out to get the full scoop! Then join me in thanking him for being here and sharing his tremendous knowledge. He was an awesome guest and you're awesome for listening. Thanks and we'll see you next time!

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you're interested in The Art of Charm residential programs, apply for a strategy call with a coach. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook or Twitter.

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