A Lie is a Lie... Unless...

Posted by Leticia, 01 Mar 06

A Lie is a Lie... Unless it's a Misrepresentation of the Truth?! Last week, my best friend came up to visit for the weekend. Somewhere between the sushi and the sweet tea he informed me that he'd been talking to someone on-line and was thinking about hooking up with them for the first time that night. They had exchanged pictures and had only been chatting for a couple of weeks. Besides the fact that I wasn't really in the mood to share my visiting friend, I was a little apprehensive about him "hooking" up with someone after only a few on-line chats and it was already going on midnight. But, he was a "big" boy and what's the worse thing that could happen? They decided to meet in a parking lot and talk and take it from there.

It was around 8am when I realized that I forgot to ask the important questions like; what is your on-line friend's name, phone number and if you don't come back what story do I tell your mom. Before worry could set in, my friend appeared at my door with that look on his face. You know "that" look. The one that say's...why did I do that?! It appears that his new friend wasn't exactly honest about a few things, like height, weight, age. You know; the things that you ask about first. So, if someone lies about the obvious things, what are the chances that you'll get the truth about other issues, like beliefs, marital status, sexual preferences and history?

Now, my friend wasn't really upset, just disappointed. The truth of the matter is he couldn't get too upset...he lied too. He gave a fake name, created a new career and keep in mind, he's my best friend, he's the good guy! I had to ask the question, "What is the point"? The true blessing and best part of internet dating is that you can be YOU. My friend informed me that that he has several "on-line" personalities. On websites and chat rooms that he can just go in and do whatever and be whoever, he does. He says that it's for his own protection, because you just don't know who's out there and what their motives are. And if you are willing to meet someone at 1 o/clock in the morning for the first time, chances are they aren't who they say they are either and neither one of you are really looking for something long term or substantial. On the other hand, for the sites that he's a "paid" member or subscriber, he says that is when he makes the choice to be real. He takes it more seriously, because he's paying for it. Now, this really made sense to him, so I left it alone.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

My point is...a misrepresentation of the truth is a lie. There are people that tell a lie when it's easier to tell the truth...and the internet makes it's easier to tell more people more lies at one time. Be aware and be cautious...and just be you. The only thing that you have to lose in being yourself is people that aren't interested and don't deserve your time anyway.

Responses to "A Lie is a Lie... Unless..."

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  1.   Honey says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 08

    I enjoyed reading the story. Unfortunately, there is so much deception out here. Unfortunately, many guys and gals are looking a quickie for free. Best thing is slow down, disappointment you can get over but a quickie w/ a sticky you can't.

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  2.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 07

    Can everyone handle the truth? I hope so. Coz I will bring it

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  3.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 07

    i lie is a lie no matter how you sugur coat it.

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  4.   Bohica says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 07

    I agree 100%

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  5.   meluran says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 06

    There's a tale in tale in my tribe: Lie will run for one year but the day Truth will catch it only in one second So better tell the truth.

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  6.   turbogirl says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 06

    I hate liars, just cant stand them. No matter how small the lie is , it doesn't really matter, it's still a lie. A lie is a lie, even lying about ones age, it's a still lying.

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  7.   Galf says:
    Posted: 07 Dec 06

    There are lies and there is stretching the truth or omitting the truth. I think most evryone on the net has strecth the truth at one point or another. For those who don't think they have, you may not know the truth about yourself.

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  8.   nehuskerfan says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 06

    I am real and I am looking for someone real!!! I lie is a lie no matter how it is told.

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  9.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 06

    if they lie once, twice is right around the corner.

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  10.   Ann says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 06

    Oh!! I talked to your friend a few months, met him and then found that he was married. He actually did not lie in writing. He just deceived himself because he got busted!!!

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  11.   Kara says:
    Posted: 27 Nov 06

    Right. I believe it's important to be totally up front and honest about who I am and what I'm looking for, and I expect the same in return. Lying to try to manipulate someone into liking you is ultimately both self-destructive and disrespectful.

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  12.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 24 Nov 06

    a lie is a lie, no matter how you cut it.

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  13.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 06

    great article, very interesting!!

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  14.   gms77 says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 06

    Honesty is paramount-without it there is no relationship~

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  15.   embraceme says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 06

    This is very important men and women.. I would not want to be with someone that can tell a lie.. especially if it is a lil lie.. lil lies turn into big lies.. and we all know what the bible says about liars.. If you ever meet me please tellt eh truth i can tell a lie a mile away..

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  16.   arbw4you says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 06

    When you lie about anything. you are saying to the person you lie to that you are not happy with youself and that you think they are stupid. Not happy with yourself: you should feel good enough about yourself that people will accept you for you and not for someone you try to mode yourself after. when you lie you think theyy are stupid: lies always come back around and people always find out the truth later. So do you think they won't think about the lies you told? Keep it simple! tell teh truth and move on if it's not what they want to hear.

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  17.   Natural72 says:
    Posted: 09 Oct 06

    I agree a lie is a lie. Trust is the most important part of any relationship. Lying is NEVER acceptable. However I must say that we all need to be careful about how much info we disclose early on. "Find out later" may be a good alternative--that way you are not misrepresenting yourself.

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  18.   Fala says:
    Posted: 29 Sep 06

    Oh yeah, and failing to tell somebody something that they really should know - also another way of lying. "You never asked" should not be used as an excuse to hide the truth.

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  19.   sweetest1 says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 06

    I don't understand the 'misrepresentation' thing... you are who you are and if you like yourself why lie?? If you don't like yourself change into a person who you DO like!! I'm me... not perfect... just ME... love me or leave me alone!! :-)

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  20.   Mystify24 says:
    Posted: 23 Sep 06

    When someone lies to you even about things they consider to be "little" and you catch them in the lie, it's very difficult to ever trust them again. There is always that little voice in the back of your head that examines every word they say and wonders what they're lying about now. I have two people in my life that lied allot to me and I find it very difficult to trust them now. Fortunately, one I have known for over 20 years and although she has grown up and quit most of her lying I can still tell when she is lying. The other one ... well I still don't know.

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  21.   charlee1 says:
    Posted: 15 Sep 06

    a lie is a lie, no matter what. if someone is prepared to lie to you from the outset, then you can guarantee that the relationship will lead to nothing good. what's the point of joining a dating site if you are only going to deceive the people you come into contact with? and once the lie or lies are discovered, are you really going to trust that person again?

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  22.   whytb0y says:
    Posted: 13 Sep 06

    you must call a lie for what it is a lie , people label it big lie small lie , in the end a lie is a lie ,it's like if you steal a ferrarri or you steal a pencil off your co-workers desk ,it's still stealing either way .point being after its all boiled down lies are not the truth and only conceal what has been done and usually lead to more lies to cover the original lie.

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  23.   JADE74 says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    A lie is still a lie. The truth is always best no matter what. Be honest and true to self and others.

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  24. Posted: 02 May 06

    You should always be yourself because when you lie, even a little, someone always gets hurt in the long run and then you are cheating yourself for not telling the truth

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  25.   910 says:
    Posted: 21 Apr 06

    I can't trust a man who lies , because they're not to be trusted.

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  26.   Blackadder says:
    Posted: 04 Apr 06

    "Does my butt look big in this?" can just as easily be answered with "you do look good in that" or "the colour suits you" etc etc, which is avoiding the question rather than lying. And why lie on a dating site? It may get people to message you, but it won't get you more than a date or two, it MIGHT get you laid, and it sure as Hell won't get you a real relationship.

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  27.   OReilly says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 06

    Honesty is so important. Its respectful. It tells the other person and yourself most of all that you have intrgrity. Honesty builds trust which is vital for a loving relationship to work. The guy talking about getting into a womans pants by lying dosen't have much to offer anyone. And using people turns one into a slug. Being honest is brave.

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  28.   crispy1 says:
    Posted: 22 Mar 06

    A lie is a lie yes, but in some cases a small white lie is better than the truth. An example would be, a woman with a great personality asks "Do these pants make my butt look big?" How do you tell her that her butt looks big no matter what she wears without hurting her feelings? But to purposely lie to someone for their effections is messing with emotions and emotional destruction can be dangerous grounds to tread on. But some people just don't care for one reason or another. Case in point, Shawn's post, dude if it's REALLY that big you wouldn't need to lie to get the kind of women you seem to be after.

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  29.   PoshBird says:
    Posted: 21 Mar 06

    Honesty is the best policy! You only get found out in the end!

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  30.   Patricia says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 06

    A white lie is when you lie to make someone feel better. Like complimenting someone on their great haircut when in fact they look like Dudley Moore. A lie is usually told to protect your own butt.

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  31.   Pammie says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 06

    A lie is a lie regardless if it is a little lie or a big lie. Just better to say the truth up front- no pretenses and no false fronts.

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  32.   tretha says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 06

    A lie is a lie no matter what. Just tell the truth or say nothing at all.

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  33.   Studman says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 06

    I think it is important to be honest with a person before you even meet them whether it is on-line or in person. Then when you meet them they will be smart enough to know if you are lying or not.

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  34.   Gina says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 06

    The line was drawn when you decided to get "on line." What's the purpose if all you had in mind was to lie. Light brown hair is just that, nothing more or less. The best example of truth I have seen on this service was written by BO1974, check out his profile...now there's a dose of exactly who he is and what he wants.

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  35.   Angie says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 06

    If someone lies to you about minor things then there is no doubt they will lie about more important things. Not everyone on the net is out to get you. The people who are out to get you on the net are the same ones who will do it to your face, not to say people are not more inclined to tell the truth when they have to look you in the eye.Wherever you go there you are.A liar is a liar wherever he goes and honest people stay tgrue to themselves and others.

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