You can’t help who you fall in love right? I believe this popular adage. But why do we hear the same people who believe in that statement, saying things like: “I can NEVER date a woman or man from my own race”?
I remember some time in October 2011, on the talk show LifeChangers, when Dr Drew took a rather controversial approach of looking at interracial dating by calling upon Black men who “REFUSE” to date Black women on his show. And they showed up! But as much as critics claimed it was all stage managed for the purpose of entertainment (seeing as Black women also had their chance to confront these Black men), it gave me something to think about: Do we in interracial relationships “REFUSE” to date our own?
On the same note, the other day I came across a comment by our one, darkknight_7 on the article “Why do you like a white girl”?. This guy was expressing his disgust at some dude who doesn’t date Black women because they are idiots and unworthy. I loved the way darkknight_7 stands up for Black women, telling this guy, even women from other races have similar flaws he hates; its not a Black woman’s thing. But that is besides the point. It’s something he said that actually inspired this article:
“If you just have a preference for white women that isn’t influenced by your “hatred” for black women, that’s cool. I admire the yin and yang, how opposites attract, the beautiful contrast of black and white skin together but if my only reason for being with white women was to escape the hostility of “American” black women, you may eventually run into an “American” white woman that will surprise you.”
I date interracially… no idea why. I have dated white women too. For me, my dating interracially doesn’t mean swearing off or a refusal to date white women. But to be honest, I know other white men and women with the I-can-NEVER-date-White attitude. And as much as I am all for interracial dating, the drive behind some people’s choice to date interracially feels wrong.
Hatred! Refusal! NEVER! These are words that shouldn’t be anywhere on the answer to Why we date interracially. Coz as darkknight_7 puts it, whatever you are running away from or hate within men or women of your race might be the same thing you bump into in someone from a different race because race doesn’t define one’s personality! Let personality be the drive and the magnet that pulls you towards who you date. That’s just what I feel.
What do you think?