Is it necessary to categorize interracial daters just to justify why they make that choice?

Posted by James, 20 May 13

categories of interracial daters"A percentage of those people who embrace interracial dating do so out of vanity and not out of love." This I lifted from a post: "Harsh Reasons Some People Date Interracially"

As repulsive as it is, such comments no longer come as a surprise to me because people who are against interracial coupling never want to admit that most interracial couples exist simply because they are in love; such people just don’t see love as a good enough reason for an interracial couple to get married.

In the said article, showing off is listed as one of the reasons people date interracially. [Seriously, do people really think some of us date interracially because we want to have a sense of pride and ownership in being with someone from a particular race?] Well besides self hatred and ostracizing ourselves from the community, the other annoying assumption is that we date interracially because we want to "exploit the other person... use the other person's genes to create "more appealing," exotic children with lighter skin, lighter eyes, and finer hair." [For someone to come up with "exploiting someone's genes" - cuckoo!!! I mean, who thinks like that?]

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Anyway, a similar article that covers interracial marriage comes up with categories of the type of people who marry interracially in a bid to answer the big ol' "WHY" question. And as you expected, nothing about love is mentioned there. Here they are:

The outcasts are those people who do not feel comfortable with their race because they don’t agree with the norms. They are often questioning why they have to do certain things, and are not happy because they don’t fit in with the social groups of their race. The outcast will usually find a culture within another race that appeals to their needs. This provides the outcasts with the opportunity to marry interracially and begin a family within a different racial context.

The rebels are those people who disagree with the basic values, beliefs, and politics of their race. For them marrying outside of their race is not only a form of a long-life commitment to another person, but it is also a long life commitment to a form of protest. They disagree with one or more aspects of their race and they don’t care what anyone around them might think if they marry outside of their race.

The maverick may be seen as the non-conformist. People in this group are usually independent. Although the people within their race usually accept them, they would rather not belong to the “in group.” For the majority of the time these people are sufficiently detached to the different aspects of their race that they are happier not belonging to it, much less belonging to the “in group.” Marrying interracially allows the maverick to feel freed of the pressures to join and conform to the values, beliefs, politics, etc. of a race that they do not accept.

The compensator is the person who is always looking for their “other half.” These are the people who feel incomplete by themselves, who do not want to be alone, and long for a loving relationship. This may not sound exclusively for people who marry interracially, but it is because this type of compensator is under the belief that they can only find what they need with a partner from a different race. The compensator attributes the deficiencies in their life to their race. Many times the compensator belongs to a broken family where neither of the parents is present, physically nor emotionally. The compensator is not negative about their own race they are just under the impression that someone from a different race can provide what they feel they are missing.

The adventurer is the person who is always daring to be different. Adventurers marry interracially because they need the excitement from those who are different to them. They are risking their life with a race that is unknown to them, they don’t want a predictable relationship instead they want a marriage that will stimulate their life and make them feel special. Many adventurers cross all boundaries: race, class, religion, age, etc. Each additional difference makes the marriage and their life more exciting.

The escapist is the person who marries outside of their race in order to improve the quality of their life. The escapist may be marrying a different race to move up the social or economic ladder, they marry for the benefits. The majority of interracial marriages include some type of trade off between the parties involved.

Unstables can be described by deviance. They marry outside of their race to defy authority. The authority they are usually trying to defy is their parents. Once they marry outside of their race the family will consider them to be abnormal and unstable people. Not many people marry under this type of circumstance, but it does happen.

Do you think you fall in any of the above categories? Luckily, the article says that these categories aren't conclusive so we might as well add: "Those who marry for love" to it. ;-)

4 responses to "Is it necessary to categorize interracial daters just to justify why they make that choice?"

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  1.   dave_74 says:
    Posted: 25 Jul 13

    While there might be small bits of truth in some of the reasons, I find it unfortunate that it is heavily highlighted in such a negative way. I prefer to consider myself just open minded as the main reason for considering dating out of my race vs. all those categories. Sure I find black women attractive which no doubt is part of the reason I as a white man married a black woman. However I acknowledge that there's beauty all over the world, and this is just my taste and most important is the inner beauty. I don't judge nor categorize those that choose to date only within their skin tone, but if I did I could include similar negative categories such as 1) The Coward 2) The mamas boy 3)The yes man 4) The loser 5) The racist The list goes on and while some may actually fall into those categories, it would be unfair of me to judge an entire group of people (those that date/marry only within their skin tone) just because I choose not to. So in short it isn't necessary to categorize anyone regardless of who they might select as their partner.

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  2.   lgsterz says:
    Posted: 29 May 13

    I would agree that some of these things would be true to an extent for some people. But most people that actually end up marrying or being in a serious relationship with a person of a different race actually love the person! Interracial relationships and non interracial relationships both can start out because of superficial reasons that are attractive to some such as physical attraction, money, and social class (only some examples) but the good healthy relationships despite race end up lasting because of the love they share. As a white woman I am attracted to black men for different reasons. But I'm not attracted to black men that don't have the qualities I'm looking for such as being loyal, caring, and other inner qualities. This article tries to psychoanalize interracial relationships too much. All relationships may start out because of some superficial reasons that are attractive to some and not attractive to others. But good relationships last because of love. And if some other things are still attractive to those people are present that is just a bonus. Example: I think mixed children are beautiful and I would love to have some someday. But I'm not just going to start a relationship with a black man just because I want mixed babies! Haha. If I started a relationship with a black man then it would be because I liked him. And if I ended up having beautiful mixed babies someday that would be a bonus! :)

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  3.   leeboknam says:
    Posted: 25 May 13

    w-w-WHAT, WOW. Um, I'm actually surprised that people really think this way (especially regarding the unstable, outcast, rebel, etc labeling.) I have met one Black man who said he was with one White woman because he was curious as to how his children would turn out. I have met White men who seem to want the "exotic" experience. However, trifling, superficial types exist in all types of relationships. There are plenty of people who date their "own" with the hope of creating their preferred look, because it is easier to get up the ladder with someone who shares something in common, and because it's easier to find a spouse from their own background.

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