Is interracial dating in Minnesota really one-sided?

Posted by James, 12 Feb 08

"A black woman wonders: What's up with the Minnesota dating game?"

This was a headline for an article written 3 years ago. And the woman is still wondering...

This woman is concerned about couples comprising black men and white women being so predominant. Many black men in Minnesota are not dating or marrying black women. And according to her, men of other races don't seem interested in black women, either.

Here is some census data involving blacks:

Among married black men in Minnesota, 44 percent have wives who are not black; among married black women in the state, 14 percent have husbands who are not black. Nationally, the figures are 7 percent for men and 3 percent for women.

So this lady asks, "what's up with this? If 44 percent of married black men in Minnesota are going over to the white side, compared with only 14 percent of married black women, what does this mean?"

This lady has nothing against interracial relationships if they are for the right reasons - compatibility, attraction, similar interests. But she wonders why some black men and white women only date outside their race. So she asks again: "What's that about? Does it mean a kind of self-hatred, a discomfort around people who look like you?"

To her, these census figures raises some questions: Why is the interracial marriage scenario in Minnesota so one-sided?

88 responses to "Is interracial dating in Minnesota really one-sided?"

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  1.   cleshean says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 12

    I just came across this article. I know it's old. It's all bull. I have dated all nationallaties. For the most part I'm more attracted to black women and have sense I was 8 years old. This article is crap and it's another example how people who never leave there house have no clue as to what there talking about. This lady also probably has so called white guilt. As far as I'm concerned if black guys don't want to date black women then that gives me more to choose from. Have at it blacks dudes to all the white women you want. Just hook me up with your sister:0 Amen.

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  2.   kenazman says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 12

    I liven in Minnesota in my younger days while attending college.I dated women of many races and it was fun. I just see nothing wrong with interracial dating. There was a thing about Minnesota Nice. I must agree that women were kinder and gentler to non-white men at the time and am sure they still are.One reason why immigrants are very comfortable there. One thing I like about the state,at the time,women could actually ask me for a date.I loved that and miss it now!

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  3. Posted: 17 Feb 11

    Firstly, I am a black male. Through and through. I love my beautiful black sisters. So let me chime in, being as though I also love woman of other ethnic groups equally. What can I say, I am an equal opporunist woman pleaser lol.. Anyway.. the choice of some brothers to dat outside color lines is not SELF HATRED. It is just a preference. Now, the "why" of it is actually none of your, mine, TMZ, hellobeautiful, urbandaily, blackplanet, twitter, facebook or any other WEBSITE or PERSON or COMPANIES business. Its actually a very juvenile argument to ask "why" someone likes something. It is like asking a tween (a pre-teenage child) why he/she likes watching GLEE instead of HOUSE OF PAYNE. Now, this tween may be black and should be able to relate to House of Payne more than GLEE, but it is Her/His choice! Again, it is his/her choice. Their choice should be none of anyone's business. I think sometimes, we need to just mind our own business. Who other people date is none of anyone else's business. If a stranger's choice of life partner fucks up your mental that bad, then perhaps there are deeper issues at hand.

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  4.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 10

    It is just as bad in DALLAS Texas where I moved. It seems white men want to have sex with me but date now that is a whole other issue. They so want to date me if they are 1)morbidly obese, 2) appear to as old as Mose 3) homeless 4)sexually repugnant 5)perverts. Now if I were into any of above things I could have as many white men as I can handle. So guess who I do end up dating.

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  5.   sam says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 10

    Well, I was in Minnesota years ago and tried to get involved with black women but no chance. Nice talk to them but that was it. Same thing in NYC. Nothing rude but no luck. Not that I'm complaining or anything... :-D

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  6.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    Oh I forgot to mention I recommended the thread Black men, Black women, best frenemies! That is where the discussion should take place. Not in this thread or any other thread discussing relationships with White men. He will Not poste to you here as I have explained the reason why. C ya!

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  7.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    First of all Laurelton, I will not be an information toter between you and my brother. He said he wrote to you under his own screen name and they said waiting for moderation. I told him why this could happen I also told him not to move the "fight" if you want to call it that to the other thread because it don't belong there. Nice try you had going there though. I also told him it doesn't belong here, but you stepped in to cause a ruckus. Told him you are angry that I like Tatted. I don't want to tell you what we did after that. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha As to your reasonings why and how he said what he said he'll hit you up when he gets up and I'm sure he'll seek you out when he gets back home. Teeheeeeeee

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  8.   Member says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    Tell Eddie It's all good to talk about black and white hos. I guess that is what he meant. He just says don't mention his sister. Just the other "hos and white tricks". LOL I respect that though. I ain't falling for that phone number trick. Then, my number will get out there. Good night

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  9.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    Good nite Board!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  10.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    @ Eddie You will see this is about one of the most phucked up individuals on this board. Sis....

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  11.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    @Eddie Love you bro, but this dude is a punk. Why you give this punk your number? You do you, though! LOL. Enjoy!

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  12.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    @Laurelton I didn't tell him to come at you. I walked away from the computer. I was cussing at the computer reading you and he stood over me to see what I was writing. Hey, he's my brother. You and I both know I can take care of myself when it comes to YOU. You're ain't nobody who WANTS to be somebody. I don't give a shit about you. Teeheee. You know that though.

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  13.   Member says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    Hold up Petite Brother Eddie Griffin??????????????? What Eddie Griffin doing in New York? No wonder she wants to change hairstyles so they don't mistaken her for her 'brother". Why do they make it so easy for me? Petite Brother said this, and it made me say "WTF" Comment by PetiteChick on 6 June 2010: To the dude who calls himself Laurelton, "Let me check you on something right now bro, you can talk any kind of way you want to about women, Black or white - itís all good." It's all good to talk about "other women" black and white. But your sister is the exception. Man, where was you at when the white man was trying to hump her like a "humpy dog". She ain't tell you about it. Tell your sister she too old to be wearing "fishnet" stockings. Rose from the TV show "227" never wore fishnet stockings. You know, you want to say Laurelton right about these damn hos and sellout black women. (Heading out the door)

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  14.   Member says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    (Listening to Petite) Comment by PetiteChick on 6 June 2010: To the dude who calls himself Laurelton, Let me check you on something right now bro, you can talk any kind of way you want to about women, Black or white - itís all good. You will stop disrespecting my sister though. You gone need to dat soon bro. I donít know nothing about your issues, but check yourself when you talking to my sister. If you donít care for her comments, keep it moving. Youíre a young punk who hides his face behind a keyboard an talk shit. You donít know anything about my sister. Keep it that way. Eddie (PetiteChickís Brother) You can hit me up here if you want to get real with it 718.815.6241. Man to man! Anytime. (Laughing) Are you going to check me? "Bro". Fly down to Orlando Florida. I am waiting. Oh yea, you should be mad your sister asking for hair tips. Where is that tough talk when one of the white men she was seeing was "humping her". LOL This board is hilarious.

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  15.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    To the dude who calls himself Laurelton, Let me check you on something right now bro, you can talk any kind of way you want to about women, Black or white - it's all good. You will stop disrespecting my sister though. You gone need to dat soon bro. I don't know nothing about your issues, but check yourself when you talking to my sister. If you don't care for her comments, keep it moving. You're a young punk who hides his face behind a keyboard an talk shit. You don't know anything about my sister. Keep it that way. Eddie (PetiteChick's Brother) You can hit me up here if you want to get real with it 718.815.6241. Man to man! Anytime.

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  16.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    @Tatted I'm tired of the stereotypes about Black women, much as the Black men claim. I ain't having it. That comment about Black women not wanting White men cause their nerdy clearly shows people who have not come to the realization that we are a race of people who just as different in their thinking, behavior and achievements as any other group. It wouldn't be nice if one said "the Irish men who drink a lot" don't like Italian women because they are associated with the mob. Time for the stereotypes to be checked. I'm the checker!!!

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  17.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 10

    @Laurelton: I don't know who you think you're talking to, and quite frankly I don't give a fly'n shit anymore. Nothing you say makes any sense to me so it goes in one ear and right out the other. Step off dude. I'll write, post, holler, cuss, question where and when I feel like it. DIG IT?

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  18.   Member says:
    Posted: 05 Jun 10

    We are the epitome of manhood. What are you rambling about Tatt that on your forehead? I got more than 1 degree. I lift weight and stay in shape. My job financially satisfies my needs. There is no myths. That sex myth is true. Stop all your bullshit. You are just mad black men pulled down your pantie, spanked you, and left you. I can understand the frustration. But I am no longer going to let you emasculate men anymore. The more successful you are as a black woman. They call you arrogant, bitter and mean. Why should we "temper" our talents to make insecure black women happy. Fuck that, we are the alpha males and you will bow down and kiss the ring. You can always be with a white man (If they want you). ALL ROADS STILL LEAD THROUGH BLACK MEN. Get used to it! (Pointing at Petite) Watch your step! When you starting riding with Tatt. You will get it next! Respect Aquariansun's opinion. He said black women are the ones fucking up. Their bad attitudes and prickly personalities turn off white men. Stop trying to make excuses. Take the information and use it. Like I said, WATCH YOUR STEP! NEW ALBUM " I AM SOMEBODY YOU SHOULD KNOW" The Chad Ochocino story. (Currently) Look for the follow up "single" Tatt's top slipped off like Janet's at the SUPERBOWL. (Wink)

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  19. Posted: 05 Jun 10

    "The big draw for interracial relationships back in the 70ís and 80ís was the club made famous in Princeís PURPLE RAIN movie. It used to be Uncle Samís, then 1st Avenue by the time Prince was around, and that was a proverbial breeding ground for white girls looking for black men and occasionally the vengeful black woman looking for a white guy." Why did the woman just HAVE to be "vengeful"???? This is some more B.S. that gets me to seeing red!!! Why can't a woman of color just recognize and be a attracted to a man that just so happens to be white??? Some black men need to just stop....that's all....just bleeding stop. Some think they are the epitome of "manliness" simply because of "myths" and who knows what. Some can't shut up about what they do and don't have because of someone else yet they are the "strong" ones...ANOTHER PHAT "PFFFTT" on that mess. Good day, Good People tatted2death

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  20. Posted: 05 Jun 10

    Wassup PetiteChick....LOL Glad to see you handling business over in this thread as well. This is a pet-peeve of mine as well....when certain women jump on the dayum bandwagon about cliche nonsense. Besides, if it was what was happening 9+ years ago AND now you see things HAVE changed......why the hail are you bringing it up now???? PFFFTT. You ask some very important questions that no doubt will be misconstrued some how.....but just know that I HEAR YA on each and every one of them. Hey, I even have a few of my own..... 1)Why is it automatically assumed that the woman was "turned off"??? Maybe, just maybe it had a little something to do with the double-standard going around with men of color dating whomever they choose but women getting the stink-eye (AND worse) from dayum near anyone if she even glanced at a white dude. Although I can't fully relate to people's "peer-pressure" issues when it comes to most things, I am sure that in at least some of these cases it had something to do with it. 2)(to add a little bit to Petite's 1st query) What exactly would that woman of color have to do to "charm" a white man (as if looking dayum good were not enough......seems to be for every other woman, right??)??? Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. Man, Petite-sis.....something in me just turns a little when recognize B.S. (I sense you are the same way....lol)

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  21.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 05 Jun 10

    @ Aquariunsun Thanks for your comments. I don't know a doggone thing about MN but let me ask you the following with regard to this statement: Aquariansun: When I talked with them about dating a white man a common respose was that white men were sort nerdy Ē had no soulĒ, and they were not open to dating them. I saw it more of a problem of black women making the choice. There were many very beautiful black women there that could have charmed that white man, but more than likely they were turned off. Things may have changed now. I also see the younger college age of all races more receptive to dating outside their race." PetiteChick: 1. Did these White men make attempts to APPROACH Black women? From what I'm reading here that doesn't appear to be the case. I coud be wrong of course..... 2. Do you think all Black women (whether living in MN or otherwise are "monolithic" as though we all want a non-intelligent gentleman regardless of race? This to your point that "White men are nerdy?" So are some Black men! 3. So you say it was "our approach?" Please elaborate, because a woman can't get any further with a man than he will allow. The same holds true for the man with woman. Thanks.

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  22.   Aquariunsun says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 10

    I presently live in AZ (9yrs) moved from MN. I have to say that back when I lived in MN I knew many black women that felt white women were taking away their men. When I talked with them about dating a white man a common respose was that white men were sort nerdy " had no soul", and they were not open to dating them. I saw it more of a problem of black women making the choice. There were many very beautiful black women there that could have charmed that white man, but more than likely they were turned off. Things may have changed now. I also see the younger college age of all races more receptive to dating outside their race. In AZ I see people of all colors together, and it is not at all oncommon to see a white man with a black women. I dated black men in MN, but also white and hispanic and if things have not changed there it is maybe because that mold that was from the 80`s and 90`s has not yet been broken. If someone is attracted to someone regardless of race give a few hints and flirtations; you may be very surprised at the results.

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  23.   danalove says:
    Posted: 27 Mar 10

    I don't live in Minesota but I do have cousins who live there and say the same thing about how black men pass her up for white women. So in light of everything spoken on here, I'm not surprised one bit. Alot of black men are very colour-struck and self-hating. They don't like for their dirty laundry to be aired out, but oh well if it was clean in the first place, then there would be nothing to air out. These men are the only race of man in the world who will treat a white/other woman first class while treating and viewing their own black female counterparts as detestable. Thats why in this society as a whole, although it's 2010 they are still considered ignorant and only good for entertainment and sexing. Needless to say I do not feel sorry for such black men. However, I'm happy to have a very self-loving black man whom I can treat like a king while he treats me like his black Nubian queen.

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  24.   bamababe2k9 says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 10

    Jessica I have to ask, if this is ALL a bunch of hype then why are you worried about it? You have a white husband and most of your friends do, then you shouldn't be worried right? Just asking...

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  25.   Jessica says:
    Posted: 25 Mar 10

    I am a white woman and really have never been attracted to black guys, I do think it seems like in black culture men and women are fighting a lot. White women have same problem losing a lot of good white men to other cultures. I lived in California and in a lot of areas asian and latin women and many are very pretty are taking the white men in big numbers. I think the IR thing been going on for years in secret just like how gays been sleeping with each other for years, only difference is now its out in the open instead of hidden. I work with many white women and majority are dating or married to white men so this is not as widespread as made out. I think this hype is just that and a lot of frustrated people blowin smoke.

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  26.   alikar says:
    Posted: 14 Nov 09

    This topic peaked my interest, because even though my first girlfriend (at age 6) was jewish, and we always lived in integrated, (or my family integrated) neighborhoods in Philadelphia, she and I hooked up again in college 20 years later in St Paul, MN. After that relationship, I had 2 more there in the twin cities over a number of years, and never regretted a minute of the time there. The ironic thing was that when I decided to attend college there, my parents asked me why, and EBONY Magazine had just recently reported that MINN had the highest rate of successful interracial marriages in the US. (THIS WAS 1976, mind you!) The big draw for interracial relationships back in the 70's and 80's was the club made famous in Prince's PURPLE RAIN movie. It used to be Uncle Sam's, then 1st Avenue by the time Prince was around, and that was a proverbial breeding ground for white girls looking for black men and occasionally the vengeful black woman looking for a white guy. Is it still there? The 2 relationships I had after college there were both with white girls from Minneapolis suburbs who had never been exposed to black men except media reports on TV. I treated them both well and they both ended up marrying black men. Back then, blacks were 2% of the state population and 99% of the 2 were in the twin cities. I see not a lot is different if you guys are still talking about it 30 years later.......

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  27.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 09

    Let me say engaging in a relationsdhip because of a trend is freakin' rediculous. Black men are with attractive white women everywhere. I've seen white women who look worse than the white women who are with black men, with WHITE MEN. You will find black women who you know YOU would never date with black men. What are you talking about? Your name says it all, pal. George W doesn't care about black people. Especially black women if you choose to date them as some sort of trend rather than genuine love and effection. Bob, I see where you're coming from, but let me remind you. What you're talking about is learned behavior. Some people say things such as what you are saying as though it's something genetic within black females or people in general. And with TV, the radio, and the internet, we cannot seem to escape the negative stigmas that are place on us by society. Many people understand this, some don't and decide to wage some outlandish campaign to snuff black men out; much like it was planned back in th 1800's. It's like a overweight woman who decides to start working out. She may give up if she isn't encourage or is constantly being told she's still fat despite the fact that she IS trying. When someone hates a certain gender, race, or gender of race, they'll say anything about them. Spread the love!

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  28.   georgeW1000 says:
    Posted: 27 Jul 09

    Respectfully disagreeing with Timbo649. I have never witnessed black women playing "REALLY' hard to get as you put it. Could it be that white women are just EASY and black women are NOT! That's been my observation. I've lived everywhere and the statistic is just plain false and holds no validity. Dating black guys is a trend for white girls. It's what they do best. They roll around with EVERY race of men, and it's not referred to as being "sexually liberated" but more so ho-ish & less selective. From what I've witnessed, black men go after white girls/women and they could look like the bottom of my f----g boot!! I've seen this trend everywhere. Two of my white female acquaintances only date black men now because no white will have them, one of which specifically stated this when we were at lunch once. Black Female and White Males will become the NEW TREND!! georgeW1000!!

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  29.   Timbo649 says:
    Posted: 06 Jul 09

    If even beautiful black women are getting passed up for plain jane white girls, something is wrong with the the black women in Minnesota and everywhere else. My personal experience (as a white man) is that black women play REALLY hard to get. So maybe it's not just a white guy experience, maybe black dudes are frustrated with these REALLY hard to get black females. White females are more sexually liberated, and are less paranoid that you will still respect them in the morning after a romp in the hay.

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  30.   Bob says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    I have dated many white women because they will at least speak when spoken to, as opposed to the silence or negative facial guesture received from black women when attempting to start a conversation. White women tend to be more receptive to conversation, kinder, more thoughtful, and sexually uninhibited, which is the opposite of a sister's general attitude. Sister's tend to be argumentative, as opposed to black women who'll express an opion and "let it go." If black women are ever going to catch a black man, she must learn how to court and maintain such courtship throughout her relationship with a black man.

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  31.   Member says:
    Posted: 27 Mar 09

    My woman is in PA too. Reggie you hit it right on the nail. Yet these pasty white men want black women so bad. I tell them let get them. My mother always use to say in her Caribbean accent it is "better to let them feel it than talk to dem". By the way, you left out professional black women are controlling. I don't blame you for liking Latin women and white women. By the way, the PA white women are nice. I have a black fiancee she half puertorican. These black women have multiple children and have the nerve to make threats of a white man taking them on with their "tribe" of children. I laugh in their face are you serious? Let Billy take care of those kids like one black woman said on my blog. She said her white man grease their scalp and some other shit. I said did you teach your white man to bark and roll over too. I am out.

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  32.   Ace says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 09

    I'm currently in the process of relocating to MN, the Minneapolis area. My family( husband and kids) and I are looking for social groups for interracial families,can anyone give me any help or resources available in the area or online? It would be highly appreciated. Thank you.

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  33.   reggie135 says:
    Posted: 16 Feb 09

    Guys come on Im going to keep it real i grew up in the interracial boom in the late 90's and early 2k's. I'm 26 and most of the black women i went for were 10 to 15 years older then me have their shit together emotionally the one's I date tend to be workaholics and have no kids it's a growing trend in most professional black women I call it the oprah effect . I dated them but for some reason younger black women turn me off if a black girl is under 30 I can tell by her actions she is still stuck in a little girl mode . Most of the girls that yes i have been interested in are latina and white women in my age range . What I have learned about me is I like black women still but not of my age group or my generation. The black cougar women I have dated have guided me treated me well and most importantly showed me respect as a male counterpart. But only downside is they push to early for marriage , i was proposed to by a lover of mine when I was 22 but thank god i had the awareness to realize in my twenties I dont want marriage . She understood after a back and forth debate for a couple of weeks I let her go for her own wellbeing because she would of stayed with me till i was ready and she would probably be out of childbearing stage by then so better to look for some one who is ready. I have also dated white women in their 20's but most have been long distant relationships . Now seeing a girl in PA i live in nyc it seems to be working . If anything Im not a self hating black man im just a agist lol . I like older black women with more going for them and wisdom to spare . I just wish i was at a point in my life where I want marriage then it would be all gravy. The older sistas are more confident yes they do have more baggage but I always ask 21 questions to see if their still carrying their baggage or have put them in storage and moved on with their lives. Personally I am just looking for well mannered women ,well spoken women turn me on,educated ,takes care of herself and don't have kids with several different men . I like women who can engage me and allow me to engage them in various ways . I will say this alot of the black girls not all but again alotin my age group are out of their minds . Ladies if you do have a black daughter pull in the reigns on their braids their not understanding what life is about . Their stubborn, immature , looking for something flashy and like what some of the guys said I know the type of women their talking about in black women . Yes ladies their alot of them i have tried to talk to them on black planet and I have engaged them in discussion it's really bad out their right now for black women . But your fellow sistas who act out of their minds are not doing black women justice . This is my ratio for every 4 black women only 1 has their head on straight . That is scarey what i mean by that their healthy, mentally strong , emotionally stable and have beautiful vocab (no ebonics.). I would take 1 michelle obama over 100 beyonce's for real .

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  34.   MixieNHappy says:
    Posted: 05 Feb 09

    Some of you need to just get a life like Agape Reign and Flirt1, if you wouldnt have dated any of the guys she dated anyway than whats the problem. And even if you did want to and he didnt move it along, seriously. Black woman always want to talk about black men dating white woman, who cares thats there perfernce. Why does it matter so much to you. And I also noticed the woman that seem to have such a big problem with it cant seem to keep a man so they blame anything and everything for it instead of looking at themselves. If you cant find a black man, why not be a little more openminded then you may also see happiness comes in all shapes, sizes and colors.

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  35.   JAJMA says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 09

    oh my gosh!!! ppl are makin such a huge deal from one white womans false statistics!!!!NOTHING is wrong with interacial dating... To each thier own. love comes in all shapes sizes and colors. Preference is tottally up to the individual. It is not easy to find love and for some they may feel like race can become an issue..Exspecially when someone feels discriminated against by some1 within their race for stereotypical, false judgemental facts from being manipulated or brainwashed. No one is better than any1 else god has created us all equally. I encourage ppl to be more openminded in 2009. What matters is someones connection they feel. as long as the person is ginuine sincere, uplifting encouraging and respectful. i wouldnt give a flyin **** if the person was blue purple green or turquoise....

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  36.   SmartOne2 says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 08

    Sounds like I need to get the next Southwest Airlines flight to MN! Actually, I have heard this about MN and also about Seattle Washington. Personally, I like beautiful women - whether they are black, white, of Asian descent or from the Caribbean is not a concern. First and foremost, they should have a strong relationship with God! As a man of faith, I could not imagine being in any relationship, especially an interracial one and not have God as the driving force!! God bless!

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  37.   arylicious says:
    Posted: 18 Dec 08

    I am an Laotian (Asian) woman dating a black man and am currently reside in in Minnespolis, MN. Being I was raise in CA where its very diverse out West and moved up here during my high school I did find alot of black men dating white women. But, now as I am older and the population has changed you find more different races dating outside there race. The majority of MN is mostly white but if you live in the urban ares you will find that interracial isn't just based on black and whites relationship anymore.

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  38. Posted: 17 Dec 08

    I don't mean to be blunt or disrespectful to anyone reading this blog but I felt compelled to offer my explanation to the question at hand. 1. I do believe that that statistic includes the West African Population in MN and 2. I am a Minnesota native who just returned home from a predominantly African American area of Ohio after 9 years, I am also a white female I have to say that this is not a Minnesota isolated epidemic. And my thoughts are that...again please excuse my forwardness...we live in a time and day where Genuine Love and Nobility is rare and a individual makes choices based on personal gain weather-financial security, responsibility, personal insecurity or the basic missing requirement of respect that some white women obtain. Black women or any strong minded self respecting independent female is getting streamlined because they are not what the individual is seeking-As far as I can tell...Ladies you don not want them anyway. Thank them for saving you the time and headache!! Seriously the problem is that there just aren't many good men left and us women are allowing the bad ones to strive. And we do live in a material world sometimes we may overlook a great opportunity based on appearances. I remember in the 1960 and 70's women married for money all the time the roles are just reversing just like everything else does. Just a way of the times I guess.

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  39. Posted: 28 Nov 08

    I am a black man living in New York City and i can definitely say that it goes both ways here. People date who they find attractive. When it comes to black women, i am definitely seeing many black women dating white men and of course the obvious, black men dating white women. However, in my circle of ivy league "educated" men, most if not all, are currently in search of a black woman or simply have already settled down and married a black woman. These stories i am hearing about Minnesota sounds surreal, try coming to New york ladies, you would get so much love from black men and men in general, i doubt you would want to go back to Minnesota. I guess its simply due to the rich diversity of NYC i guess.

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  40.   gina says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 08

    Black men who feel they deserve "something" for their accomplishment will continue to date across racial lines, as this is their validation that they have made it. This is where the pro atlethes fall, the slightly educated brotha, and the brotha that has a little residual income. The brotha that realizes he should strive for great heights ALWAYS, doesn't need validation, that brotha will date and love a black female, unfortunaltely the hip hop generation has all but nullify this group. Welcome to the reality of the black woman in the US today, very educated, very well spoken, reaching new heights, abandoned by the brotha who needs validation.

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  41.   JohnLove says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 08

    Ooooooooooops, I meant ( characteristics }. the larger women are attractive atleast most of the ones I have met.soo attractive in a dress. {pletted dresses} when they walk.any color.

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  42.   JohnLove says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 08

    Hi, I agree to some of miss Lil MaMa says. a lot of the younger generation ,young men and womaen I believe that they date some of it is to retaliate againest the norm, not for love.but to show every one they can do what ever they want. but there is a small hand full that really get togather for love and to marry for life. I love all colors as long as we are compatible with each other,and to me color don't matter , it is what type of chariteritic she has in her heart,and if we have enough simalarity with each other ,that's what make the difference and she must be save as I am .

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  43.   laureleaves says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    I lived in MN (Mankato, a rural area) for 4 years and did not really date for 4 years. The white guys approached me in a way I found disrespectful, like I was easy, and the black dudes were dating the whites chicks. Thats how it was. Also, I saw lots of white guys dating asian girls, but never a black girl.

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  44.   laureleaves says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    I lived in MN (Mankato, a rural area) for 4 years and did not really date for 4 years. The white approached in a way I found disrespectful, like I was easy, and the black dudes were dating the whites chicks. Thats how it was. Also, I saw lots of whote guys ating asian girls, but never a black girl.

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  45.   laureleaves says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 08

    I lived in MN (Mankato, a rural area) for 4 years and did not really date for 4 years. The white approached in a way I found disrespectful, like I was easy, and the black dudes were dating te whites chicks. Thats how it was.

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  46.   Flirty1 says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 08

    I'm a friendly woman. The women that I know are friendly too. I'm sorry that the women you've come across have been so unkind to you openminded.

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  47.   openminded says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 08

    I posted a comment a month ago, wondering if anyone can give me feedback. Are black women in Minnesota only interested in black men or are they open? They seem unfriendly toward white men. Have reposted my previous comment below: It seems to me that black women in Minnesota are very unfriendly toward white men. Iíve been to New York and Los Angeles, and the attitude toward white men in both places among black women is far more friendly( In LA I saw more white male-black female IR couples than the reverse.) Any reflections on why this is?

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  48.   Flirty1 says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 08

    Agape Reign & Laureleaves: That's a shame, isn't it? I've sometimes felt that way. Most of the people I've dated have been non-Minnesotans. It breaks my heart to see how black women get treated. I've heard that things are different in places like Chicago and LA though. Is it true? Has anyone had any experiences there?

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  49.   laureleaves says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 08

    Hi, I lived in MN for 4 years and noticed exactly what this post says, that black women get no love in MN. I was born and raised in S. FL and never had any problem dating inside or outside my race, though I am bi-racial(white and black) and race is relative, my point is when I went to grad school in MN, it became a very lonely and sad time for me. I was not able to find anyone, white, black, or mixed, who seemed interested in me. I had the feeling that black women were considered lower class or not respectable, and when approached, it was not for love, it definitely on a purely sexual level. I had never experienced treatment like this before and it left me feeling quite differently about my relationship with white men, in that I do not feel as confident now that there will be mutual interest.

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  50.   AgapeReign says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 08

    I meant she dated guys I wouldn't date. That was a typo. Seriously. - dictated, not read.

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