White man seeks Nubian Queen "baby mama" for his sons

Posted by Leticia, 13 Aug 07

Is the World Ready for another Reality TV Show?

There's a switch for you. A reality dating show where you already know that the white man will pick the black woman. I'm sure you've checked out "The Bachelor", "The Bachelorette", "Flavor of Love", or maybe the new one I stumbled upon with the singer from poison, "Rock of Love" on VH1. They all have their token person of "another" ethnicity in the crowd. They never get picked, but they are certainly there representing the possibilities of interracial love. Well, here we go with a new show, whose title says it all... "Interracial Love A Search for a Black Queen". Will you watch? Would you compete?

Now Leticia is not a big fan of reality television, I'm still trying to get used to the reality called "my life". However, every once in a while a really stupid show will catch my attention and I will need a quick laugh or total escape from the day to day episodic dull-drums of me...so I watch.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

The most recent show that I fell victim to was the Flava of Love Charm School. What was I thinking? Now, I've read that someone is working on a reality show called "Interracial Love a Search for a Black Queen". Besides a myspace page and a reference to it in a blog, I haven't seen anything "official" about this show. What I do know is that there is a white guy that lives somewhere in the Greensboro, NC area. He has two interracial sons that he is raising alone. He is looking for a "Black Queen".

So, now I'm already wondering if there will be any "non" black queens that apply for the position? I'm sure that he will not be without a good number of single sisters, ‘cause lord knows that there are enough out there. Watch out, I'm about to say something a little...controversial!!! Here's my problem...after looking at the pictures of him and his kids on the myspace page... I realize I've got a thing about 35 year old men that wear baggy shorts and their hat backwards. Immediately I got the impression that he was the male version of "buck wild" (for those that watched the Flava of Love or Charm School). For those that didn't, let's just say that "Becky" (her real name) was always being told that she was trying to "act" black.

There is also the problem that I have with people that look for relationships for their children and them. Call me crazy, but I don't want a lot of non-important people around my children. I love them to no-end, but they can't keep track of who their friends are from day to day, so why would I allow them to choose a mate for me? Yes, it's absolutely important that the person I select, loves my children as they are an extension of me. However, we have got to make sure that there will be a "we" before there will ever be an "US"!! We gotta do a better job of protecting our children from the "realities" of the world too. There are some things that they just don't need to be a part of...until it's time!

Now, I don't know the man, and all I'm going on is my first impressions. This being said, why would I date a white man that was black in every other way except his skin color? Since we're all family and I'm "keeping it real"... if I were a lesbian, I probably wouldn't date a woman that looked and acted like a man either.

This is Leticia, and I know it's a matter of preference...I just prefer whole milk to half & half.

61 responses to "White man seeks Nubian Queen "baby mama" for his sons"

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  1.   Fkoi says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 07

    Judging a book by its cover just doesn't seem like a good plan. I would be more hesitant to plan to make a life with someone who thought that meeting their soulmate on a reality TV show than based on what they wear. I'm guessing that when Rheah commented that she prefers "a person of Character", she didn't mean a character on a mindless TV show. Especially if he's gonna drag his kids into the mix. We know reality shows aren't real. They have script writers and editors and are created in a particular lurid style in order to sell more SUVs and McDonalds. And I know that every one who posts their profile on AfRom isn't telling the whole story or even the truth. Still I like my chances here rather than on a silly prime time quest for a Nubian Queen "baby mama". Now CSI on the other hand...

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  2.   alaru says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 07

    I won't judge the guy based primarily on his looks. I stopped being interested in his style of dress in my early twenties so I'd pass on him, but... I'd also pass because he has three children already and I not even sure I want one. I wish WOC had better reality shows than the Flavor of Love/I love New York messes.

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  3.   Jenny says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 07

    Doesnt this guy have a profile on the site???

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  4.   hoganfan says:
    Posted: 27 Oct 07

    Great article!

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  5.   rheah says:
    Posted: 20 Oct 07

    I'm a BW and my preference is for a person of Character..yes..who wouldn't want classy and well educated? Well That's a matter of opinion since there are prisoners who fit that catagory. I beleive everyone has a right to search out love as they see fit. It's not personal to me how this man seeks to find his love. I wish him the best. I'm a BW not bothered by stereo types or lables put upon by society. I'm an individualist and that's how I base my relationships. Individually. The proof is in the pudding whether it be chocolate or vanilla!

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  6.   Mike says:
    Posted: 24 Sep 07

    I think this is a retarded message and its the ssad part of interracial dating/ships....when people do it for the wrong reasons or because of there own ignorance.....this white dude comes off real lame and corny with this...and because of that he'll attract something corny in return....good !

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  7.   Anon123 says:
    Posted: 22 Sep 07

    To "Eljayes", Robert DeNiro is married to a Black woman...and dated many prior to her. So, he is not a closet chocolate lover. All I am saying is that BW should have high standards also when it comes to dating just like any other woman. I suppose no one else sees that this show (rejected) would be no different than any other show reducing women to back stabbing, ghetto antics just like the rest that are out there on VH1, BET and MTV! That is the purpose of reality TV -- so, why would producers select well balanced poised women of any race to appear on such a show? That's not what people are tuning in to. Not saying that this should not change, but it has not.

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  8.   Anon123 says:
    Posted: 21 Sep 07

    First of all, this man is doing no special or extraordinary feat...adults are supposed to take care of their children, especially minor children. So, can we please put that issue to rest. Also, why do we need representation from others that we are worthy? We need to find and do this from within! I keep reading "Lynn's" comments about how we should be glad that this WM is showing BW love and all this stuff. OK, has our collective self esteem and worth dropped this far into the toilet? This stuff sounds desperate and I am starting to wonder if Lynn is even a BW writing these posts. It's as if she is sounding desperate on purpose...frankly, it's embarrassing! To all you BW who are educated, smart, and childless, HAVE a desire to meet your intellectual equal please!! What are this man's credentials besides wanting a baby mamma? We seem to think that just because a WM wants to be with a BW, that he must be golden....What does he have going for him? What kind of relationship does he have with his baby mamma? Was he married to the Black mother of his children -- afterall, he has two with her? I am a BW all for IR dating, in fact, WM are my preference, but BW should have standards and per this board/topic, it appears that we do not!

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  9.   Eljayes says:
    Posted: 20 Sep 07

    They way I figure this is ... If there is a black women that does not have any children or cant have any and she has a pension for milk in her coffee and lets say she meets his specs and he meets hers.. why the hell not. Let face it some white men are cowards and cant even tell there closest family he has a black or darker skinned girlfriend. I personally, just by looking at the picture and dating since 1980 would take him in a minute. Well maybe but not if he's not to my specs. I still cant knock him for trying. Maybe he wants someone that does not already have 2 to 4 kids, and she can barely take care of herself let alone her kids. Maybe he thinks that his kids would be better off with a mom that resembels them. Maybe he's tired of meeting people on line that he cant background check and he knows the T.V studio will. Who Cares Im just glad that he not another Closet Chocolate Lover like Robert de Niro and others. I for one am proud that he has enough heart to put it on T.V. When was the last time you seen a white man acknowledge his love for any thing other then light skinned on a televised show. And I'm not talking about sit-coms/ soap operas day or night where the relationship does not last longer then Sweeps Week. I Thought Not. I applaude his efforts. I mean come on.. if it werent so hard to meet the people we want to meet then why would there even be this sight.

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  10.   Member says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 07

    A show about a bunch of black women drooling over a white dude? Count me out!

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  11.   LovingStar says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 07

    I will compete, watch and support. I just might be what this family is looking for.

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  12.   APRIL says:
    Posted: 16 Sep 07

    I THINK THAT IS A GREAT IDEA!

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  13.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 14 Sep 07

    One thing I will say about this man is at least he is taking care of his children. A lot of kids out there would love to have their Dads in their life. We won't even mention the myriad of kids that don't even know who their father is so these kids are lucky. At least this man cares enough to be there for them.

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  14.   Anon123 says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 07

    I get the feeling that if this man has custody of his kids, he was likely involved with a non-classy BW to begin with, but you never know. I must say it's awesome that he did not abandon his kids, but he deserves no great prize for that either...parents are supposed to be there for their children, that is the risk you take by having them. Your partner could up and leave you with the kids and it is your responsibility to do right by them. I think that most Blacks in the USA are see so much male desertion of their offspring that we are actually shocked to see a man stand up to the challenge of raising his children! OK...please don't think that this proposed and rejected reality TV show would have featured the cream of the crop of BW! Shows need good ratings and obviously trash sells. The "classy" women would have been subjected to the same guidelines as on any reality TV show...keep it interesting, volatile, and trashy. These shows in essence are competitive; so, the women would be reduced to and encouraged to participate in the same types of embarrassing behaviors that we see on the other VH1 reality shows white or black! I really don't want to see BW placed in a desperate looking situation on TV fighting over a seemingly thuggish White male. I suppose we don't see this show as racist? There are no reality TV shows out there which depict healthy functionings of family/relationship life...this would be no different. Producers (mostly White) would fill the show up with women of the same ilk as "New York" from Flava of Love. The poster who said that we should not be lining up to be "baby mamma" to anyone's kids is so right! This proposed show still shows a disturbing attitude that society shows toward BW; that we should be glad to get any piece of man. This man is no prize for a BW who has her stuff together (and everything that entails). Does anyone know whether or not this man was even married to his sons' mother?

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  15.   sweetnes20 says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 07

    i think the same soule. its entertainment.

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  16.   Legs34 says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 07

    First of all, who are we to judge? Reality TV is here to stay, why? because of public demand. People rather see others disfuntions on TV, I guess to make them feel better about their own lives. No one knows this man heart or mind except God...is there a better way that he can handle his search? I'm sure it is, in so many ways an interracial dating site is like that show, there are some on them that are geniune and then there are others who just wanna have notches added to their mental belts...I am sure that there are alot of people who turn up their noses at the mere thought of people joining a dating website...I wish the guy best of luck, I too agree that his kids should not be involved in this. Apparently shows like Flava of Love and I Love New York are doing well, if not, there wouldn't be a 2nd nor a 3rd season. Instead of judging that man, just pray for him and his family, and call it a day. Who's to say that the show will be tasteless anyway, it hasn't aired yet.

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  17.   soule says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 07

    Its just another form of entertainment... shouldnt be taken so seriosly. If people arent wise enough to know the reality in reality shows... that depictions are just depictions... too bad for them! Either you watch it or you dont.

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  18.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 07

    i would love to be on a reality show.

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  19.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 07

    Good point Heather, but we all know from watching shows like "I Love New York" and "Flavor of Love" that it brings out some off the wall people. Doing it for himself is one thing, but why drag those cute kids into something that will hurt them in the end??? Most of the women on these shows are merely publicity seekers. I suggest that he call on his friends and family to introduce him to a respectable woman. Can't get a better reference than from your family.

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  20.   Kym says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 07

    Firstly, whether or not one sees VH-1's opting to shelve this series as racist, the bottom line is that they're looking at the money; unfortunately that money comes from all the viewers--regardless of colour--who tune in to see black women at their worst. Not to mention, we have a mainstream hip-hop/rap culture that has chosen to build its wealth on the backs of black women and our communities, so we really shouldn't be all that surprised when some ignorant SOB decides that folks would rather see "hood rats" rather than Rutgers grads. Now, I'm no fan of reality television, but if this one was to feature articulate and intelligent black women in contrast to the negative stereotypes perpetuated by shows like Flava of Love and I Love New York, maybe we should be giving it a chance. However, I always find it interesting to me as a black woman how everyone seems to believe it's their right to tell us whom we should date. Suddenly the focus has shifted from VH-1's willingness to perpetuate stereotypes to whether or not black women should date interracially. Frankly, it's really no one's business what grown folks do, and if more people spent less time obsessing about other folks' sex lives, perhaps we wouldn't have a lying, conniving murderer sitting in the White House sending more of our best and brightest young people to fight for oil. Also if you check the numbers, black women on average are far less likely to date interracially than black men, and yet when we do, suddenly it's a big "problem". Suddenly we get the screams for "black unity" and for "keeping black families intact". And gawd forbid black women complain when they see black men dating outside the race--then we're the bad guys and it's "our" fault. Do we ever stop to think that the human heart/libido can't be legislated or forced into this fictional construct called "race"? Human beings have tried for eons and it has always failed.

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  21.   KindSpirit says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 07

    I'd compete on That one! But is the world ready for 50 something dating, let alone Interracial dating? Then again, to mix it up a bit they could have a cross-generational/interracial dating show and REALLY mix it up!! Older women/younger men vs. older men/younger women ... The possibilities become endless! ;o)

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  22.   Heather says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 07

    i think he must be a very responsible and dedicated man/dad to take responsiblity of his three boys. He could have been a dead beat. Ladies, he's not a model he's a regular guy. So his looks shouldnt be an issue. I think he is average looking. I wont comment on anything until the show, if any is aired.

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  23.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 07

    yes they are coco.

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  24.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 07

    You gotta admit though...his kids are pretty cute!

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  25.   phattkitty says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 07

    i think he must be a very responsible and dedicated man/dad to take responsiblity of his three boys. He could have been a dead beat. Ladies, he's not a model he's a regular guy. So his looks shouldnt be an issue. I think he is average looking. I wont comment on anything until the show, if any is aired.

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  26.   WHAZAAP says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 07

    I will watch, I will compete. I support anything interracial. It is a beautiful thing.

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  27.   Missy says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 07

    I couldn't help but post a comment here. I understand and agree with most of the stuff that has been raised. Please lets give the poor guy a break. Us black women complain all the time we don't get a look in from White guys, this may be the ice breaker which will make more white guys open to the idea that dating a black woman is ok. The likes of Brad Pitt don't go after black women (dating etc.), they just adopt Black children. That is a bigger issue than a man taking part in a reality show.

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  28.   Tania says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 07

    In a way I agree with Monique that he is cute, however, yes a 35 year old man still wearing his hat to the back and saggy jeans just doesn't cut it, no matter if he's white, black, latino, etc! C'mon now, he's showing his boys how the world will portray them as black men. If he's looking for his Nubian Queen, more power to him, but break out of that thuggish look. Is that his truck on his myspace page?! C'mon man, grow up from the 'toys'. Most black women like classy guys.

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  29.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 07

    remember its just entertainment.

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  30.   Andy says:
    Posted: 30 Aug 07

    Before i start i'll say hi to all you ladies... I'm a young black man of caribbean origin and i must say there is no other woman on this god green earth that i worship other than my black women especially with the dreadlox you make me weak!!! I was sent this web by a friend of mine and when ever i read these comments by black men and women they leave me speechless and i wonder how far we've come and more so where have we gone wrong? And we have gone a whole distance wrong! to all i say stop the bickering, get a grip of yourselves and take a long hard look at your lives and ask yourselves is this what we really want?

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  31.   Tracey says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 07

    Seems like it mightbe an interesting show.

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  32.   silvertop says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 07

    I think whether there is a reality show or not, the reality that there are blended families. In this time a white male raising his kids alone in and of itself speaks volumes to his character. Not to point fingers but have a man to be active in his children life is quality. I honestly believe that the search is for a Queen, not the same as seeking a "princess". The roles are far from being the same, think about it.

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  33.   Mello says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 07

    Great comments on the "Half and Half" point! I've been saying this for years. What's the point really???

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  34.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 07

    Great points Ladies. I don't think there is a thing I can add. Your comments have summed up my sentiments exactly.

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  35.   Monique says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 07

    Awesome where do I sign up!He's pretty cute and I would so love to be on that show!!!

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  36.   naptrlbti says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 07

    Im glad this show was shelved. The title alone was offensive in itself. Between Flava of Love and Charm School, the media has pretty much demolished any shred of dignity on showcasing a beautiful, classy, intelligent black woman.

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  37.   Fala says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 07

    I totally agree Diva. I'm just shocked to see there are women here reading the same thing I am and they're still attracted to this idiot. Being somebody's "Baby Mamma" should not be considered a compliment.

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  38.   Fala says:
    Posted: 25 Aug 07

    LMAO@Mossimo! You summed it up perfectly!

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  39.   JustMe says:
    Posted: 25 Aug 07

    Reality TV ill these days an also makin' PPL to illness... Society fcked up since not TV but Internet, Cellphones, microchip etc... So wht next??? Robots makin a REALity show during destroying the people...?? Realise the realism not the FAKE B$ pulled in Ur head, plZ!!!

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  40.   diva says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 07

    What a stupid idea for a show. As if black women don't already have to face the "video ho" stereotype now there's a TV show enforcing the "mammy" stereotype. I hope this show gets boycotted!!

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  41.   Nika79 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 07

    Kira23 I agree with your comment, I personally dont think the kids need that! I just think that he is putting himself in a position where the women on that show may not be genuine, are they competing for his love or to been seen on tv? maybe they feel he is rich and they may just want his money or just looking for their day view on tv hoping to get into the entertainment industry. I think that this guy maybe is a great guy, maybe not, but that is left to be seen. People ususlly put on an act on tv and these women are competing to win, so there will be a few genuine women and some will be pretenders, so I think he is setting himself up for whatever comes along with being a part of a reality show. He is not being fair to himself, his kids and these women, because this competition does not give him a chance to get to know each woman individually. His choice, I just dont think the boys deserve that, what kind of example is that for them? I have 2 sons myself, what happen to traditional dating and online dating? Couldnt he have met a wonderful woman here? HMMMMM!

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  42.   Nika79 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 07

    I personally think he could have looked on an interracial site like this one and found a great girl, but I guess this is his way of gaining a woman (that may leave him anyway, lol) and some fame. Maybe he wants to get noticed when he is walking down the street and maybe he wants his sons to be famous in school. I just think that his sons dont need that kind of exposure and publicity, but he is their dad and father's know best right? Uh Huh!

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  43.   whytb0y says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 07

    Why is it that when a white person wears his hat backwards or talks with some slang , he is suddnly trying to act black ,maybe he just likes the fashion , if a black man uses proper grammar does that mean he is trying to act white ?? i do personally dissagree with having all them folks around the kids you never know who is who .but they are his kids and its his life and choices so thats on him ,why sweat what he does none of us interact with him everyday.

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  44.   4evrblessed says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 07

    All I have to say is I totally agree with Leticia's comments about this proposed new reality show.

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  45.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 23 Aug 07

    Vanilla Flave!!! Yeah booooyyyy!!!!

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  46.   kira23 says:
    Posted: 23 Aug 07

    Comments like these are excatly the reason why this man is having a hard time finding a love to raise his familly with. im sure he is tired of being played for his kindness by gold digging tramps and wants something real. The way he dresses may have nothing to do with his personiality or his heart. As a young black women who perfers white men i can understand that its hard to find that one special person. all the justins, marky marks and brads just want to tap a chocolate honey leaving her heartbroken or worse with their fatherless child. All he is trying to do is get to his dimond in the ruff minus the brused knockles. I do agree that his children dont need to be apart of his choosing process until he has picked the right women with the children best intrests at heart. so i say give the man a break he just needs love..real love. I'll be watching and cheering for you my dude PEACE2

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  47.   Jennine says:
    Posted: 23 Aug 07

    as a mixed race woman (british)or as you americans say biracial, i am so sick of the hard done black woman thing, white woman takin all our men. Leticia. get a grip. maybe negativity. suspiciousness and conspiracy theory, (ha ha, that really did make me laugh)white mothers training their daughters to get black husbands.maybe if you cut this ranting you would find your mr right, as for interracial love. its a preference thing. i like who i like. call me a rainbow dater but so what.i enjoy it and when i settle down with mr right what ever colour he maybe.i will make sure my beautiful babies will be educated to the motto love who you love

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  48.   Mahogany says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 07

    I agree with everyone else. I want a man that is clean cut, educated, nice and fun to be around. I want the type of guy you're proud to be seen with and would take home to the family. However, this guy isn't the one. I've never in my life dated a thug. I wouldn't know what do with him. Sometimes I think that these producers have visions of Sheneneh, NewYork or RuPaul in their head and think that is what all black women are like. Therefore, you wouldn't want anyone clean or decent. But I believe that if you can't see Nia Long or Gabrielle Union with this guy then what makes them think that your average black woman would want to date him?

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  49.   unme23 says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 07

    you dont have to lie fala...........lol

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  50.   Siolav says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 07

    What ridiculous idea for another reality show!! Why not have a mix of people and have the preference picked? This white man looking for a black woman will continue to show how racist our society is. Sounds kind of low class to me.

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