Interracial dating - Choice or social conditioning?

Posted by James, 08 Jul 08

Do you think that there is a group of parents out there that "train" their children to date interracially?

15 responses to "Interracial dating - Choice or social conditioning?"

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  1. Posted: 29 May 10

    Hey Scimi, when I read what you had to say, I had to use that old 1970's saying of RIGHT ON! When God's hand is in the mix,that's what counts. Doesn't matter what race that person is, what matters is how they treat you. To the question at hand, I think it's both a choice and social conditioning. I've been into white men since I was a child. I think a lot of that had to do with where I was raised. I was raised around mostly white and mixed neighborhoods so for a lot of my life, I saw mostly white faces, therefore that's whom I was mostly attracted to. As I got older, I made the choice to date white men exclusively. Not because I hated my brothas, but that's whom I was most attracted to and felt more comfortable with.

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  2.   dannyco56 says:
    Posted: 29 May 10

    Scimi, Congratulations! Love is no respector of skin color, race, or religion. Your story is a great one and I wish you a life of love and happiness for you and your family. God Bless! Danny

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  3.   Scimi says:
    Posted: 27 May 10

    Okay guys bare with me. I never set out looking for a woman not of my pigmentation. But in the Summer of 04, one year after i had broke up with my fiancee of 2 years. I met this girl, who had initially been my friend. We met through my job and worked in the same department. Now i never thought anything of getting close to her. But the fact that she was Caucasian never even donned on me before it was to late. And instead of shooting me in the back, Cupid shot me in the eye. I had dated beautiful sistas all my life, from hot chocolate to carmel with green eyes. But never had i ever been attracted to vanilla. Until then lmao...But i didn't trully realize just how attracted i was to her until i fell in love with her. And the entire experience was a blur. At first i was bit taken aback at how quickly our relationship flourished, but then i was like lol, she plays tennis, perfect teeth, beautiful smile, goofy when she wanna be, and then it hit me. Dude this is alright...This is love, an my momma told me that there ain't enough love in this world to be fussing over color. Then another funny thing happened, that same girl, that i thought was just a friend, ended up becoming my best friend and confidant. She is my wife. And we now have 3 beautiful children together. When God takes two individuals and proceeds to make them one, he don't mess around. Guess what im saying is, sometimes it's just LOVE, sometimes that's all there is...sometimes color ain't got nothin to do with it. An when it ain't people should be with who ever they wanna be with, and if some one hate they just jealous. Jealous of what they can't have, and jealous of what they can't get. Not even on they best day. An being an attractive interracial couple, oh yeah, mofo's goin hate. Great post every body, God Bless.

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  4.   santos says:
    Posted: 11 May 10

    i hereby would like to be with a white male.

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  5.   triciaxoxox says:
    Posted: 21 Oct 09

    It has everything to do with personal experiences and personal preferences- what a person finds physically attractive.

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  6.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Jul 08

    patrickjf1, Of course there is. Just don't stop believing, that special some one will come along. It would be hard to resist that beautiful smile. Continue to be bless, in the lord.

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  7.   patrickjf1 says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 08

    Thanks Big Mama for your kind words. I have had the wonderful opportunity to know several beautiful Black women on this site. I do believe there is light at the end of the dark tunnel.

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  8.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 08

    mimisue22, I read your blog. I found it to be really sad and unfortunate. But i have a question for you. Did you ever ask your mother why she feel this way towards the man you love? Surely she can't see him, and think in her mind. "You see one street thug. You've seen them all." If so. Then who was she telling you to treat the same? That's like telling you to pat the dog, then shoot the cat. Congratulation on your engagement. LOL

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  9.   Quanta says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 08

    Yes I do! And I am for it all the way... It's time to do away with the color lines and the perception that because a person chooses to marry person from another race he or she has in someway betrayed their own race of people! People are influenced by their environment and it is within these environments certain beliefs systems are developed and practiced concerning interracial dating or marriage. Thank God I am from a multicultural background. I can not help that I am attracted to men of all races. Heavens Glory,God did a Great job giving the world so much variety. I deal with the mind and spirit always.

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  10.   mimisue22 says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 08

    I grew up in very rural Minnesota in an all-white community with the exception of a few latinos; I didn't even meet my first black person until I was in my teens. My mother always taught me to treat everyone the same, regardless of skin color, however now that I am engaged to a black man, she has all but disowned me. Apparently, she needs to learn to practice what she preaches.

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  11.   marvelocity says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 08

    I certainly think it's social conditioning. I grew up in a black neighbourhood, but went to predominately white schools, so I got the best of both worlds. For all of my life, I've embraced multiculturalism, and not to be cliche, but my three best friends are French-Irish, Filipino, and Mexican-Nigerian, respectively. My parents are children of the Civil rights era and have their own views on race relations, but they always taught me that people are people, no matter the colour of skin. With that said, I don't discriminate when dating and find that I have more interests in common with people not only of a different race, but of a certain socioeconomic background and a certain education level. Boiling everything down to race is fairly naive; while all these social constructs go hand in hand, I make my dating choices on a broad panel of characteristics which sometimes excludes certain groups of people, often because they don't share my same multicultural view to life. I'm a statistician, so why diminish your odds for love by wholly discounting a group solely based on skin color? That's just bad science! Good luck to finding your right fit, no matter the shade of milk, peach, yellow, or brown!

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  12.   Member says:
    Posted: 16 Jul 08

    patrickjf1, I read your blog, It touch me deeply. I hope you'll find love again. A good man like you, is hard to find. You have a beauitful smile.

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  13.   patrickjf1 says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 08

    I grew up in a neighborhood that was mostly black. The schools I have attended were mostly Black. Keeping that in mind my parents always taught me to never treat anyone different because of their skin color. I have had relationships with both Black and White females. I have found that my experiences with Black women have been much more rewarding both on an intellectual level and on a physical level. So with me it is not conditioning but by choice that I prefer to date Black females. My first wife of 22 years was Black had she not dies tragically I would not be looking again. It is my desire to have a Black female as my 2nd wife. I have two very beautiful daughters and have never interfered in their pick of men that they have chosen. It is their life to live and I always keep hope in my heart that the will never be hurt. I have one White son in law and one Black son in law. I treat them equally the same as part of the family.

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  14.   Mo says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 08

    My experience has been social conditioning but I was always taught with that to treat everyone equally. Don;t let a good person pass you by b/c they are not a certain race...and thats how I live.

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  15.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 08

    I think it all depends on the family history and personal experience. What I'm saying is that, you'll find some families that have been very successful in dating outside of their race with no problems from family or friends......They have what you call a strong support bond or connection. And there you have those people who can't keep their opinions to themselves. They feel that it's their duty to enlighten you on the down falls of interracial relationships. Be as it may. No parent. Wants to see their children hurt. Especially with matters of the heart. I believe it has alot more to do with advice than "training" them. Keep in mind. A parent can only teach so much, then the rest is up to him or her to make the right choices in life. A parent can only hope that valuable wisdom sinks in. The best advice any parent can give their children...Wait. Keep your mind on getting a good education, be something powerful in this world. And when the time is right. You'll know it. And parents. You'll won't have to worry, because you did your part. You led them in the right direction.

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