Interracial dating and black men

Posted by James, 09 Dec 08

black man interracial datingWhat do people really think of the Black man? Low! The video below is such an inspiration. It shows us what we think of the Black man and what really is! I mean, even the Black men underrate themselves. I mean, do we really think Black men are soooo anti-education?

Well, truth be told, lets stop saying that there are no good Black men. According to the video they are there and the Black men make more money than the Black women. Let's stop saying that White women are stealing all the good Black men coz maybe, just maybe, there is something the White woman does that makes a Black man have a liking for her. And if you ask me, I think the White woman makes the Black man feel worthy and appreciated.

What do you think of the video? Over the years, the media has shown us negative images to get ratings and dollars. Don't you think its time we actually searched for the truth instead of buying into these myths and self destruct?

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

143 responses to "Interracial dating and black men"

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  1. Posted: 06 May 10

    Dear Mina, I was actually kinda hoping to be proved wrong for once here.....LOL.... You are STILL most welcomed here......this is a "blog" and personal feelings are obviously what keep it going.....PEACE.

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  2.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 04 May 10

    Dear Mina I am not making fun of you. You stated that you were a journalist. I just think you are biased in some of your commentary. No, I have no babies or "baby momma". I think you have been watching to much "BET". I do respect your education and the school you went too. However, some of the teachers tend to have liberal views. I merely pointed out that the Taliban is no different than European religions in respect to the way they treat women. They interpret their religion "rather strictly". You don't think Taliban "men have mothers, sisters, and nieces????? The criticisms shouldn't be exclusive to the Arab nations. If I was Muslim, I would have no problem with my daughter wearing a Burka. I would have a problem if my daughter wore tight jeans and a loose fitting top that makes her look "older" than she really is. It is not her "Freedom" if I am her FATHER. I do what is necessary to protect my DAUGHTER. Mina you want to be an advocate for Muslim women. You can't simply run away from an argument. You mentioned "freedom" is not just about sex. So, what is your definition of freedom that Muslim women are not getting? I respect you as a foreign woman. However, you let your personal "views" conflict with the "reality". Also, you mentioned you "understand" black men. It kind of reminds me of the liberal white woman that recently went to Haiti and got raped. She wrote in her blog entry "essentially" the white man's fault it happened. I forgot the blog and the woman's name. Google it about Haitian white woman advocate. As a black man, I felt "sorry" for her. Not only, does it make some of us "look bad". It makes her look naive and stupid. All I am saying to you is this, Don't let your "personal feelings" cloud your judgement. Especially, if you claim to be a journalist. You went to Harvard University. Get it together girl! Good day.

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  3.   MinaG says:
    Posted: 04 May 10

    Mr Laurelton Queens, You are the one of the man who left the woman alone with your babies in the shelters or should I call your "Baby mama". If you hate the woman this much in this country why don`t you date with men because obviously none of American woman good enough for you. I don`t even know what does "She is a journalist LOL" mean? Were you making fun of with me? If you were I can assure you there is nothing funny to being a female journalist.If you were making fun of with me because college graduated Black American man can? If you have a daughter why don`t you send her to one of Arabic country that she can wear a burka, marry somebody never know as his forth wife and can`t go out to buy food without a man present. I date with Black American men because I don`t feel sorry for them, I understand them. Do you know how many hate mail I`ve gotten saying that "Why do you like this smelly black men or why pretty woman like you spoils the n.....s? or I can make you happier that a "big" Black men",... I`m also college graduated woman and I found this kind reponses way too low. I have been trying to share my point as a foreigner woman not to prove anything to Muslim women expert like you. It`s so pity that you measure the hapiness with limit of freedom. And again "Freedom" means not just about sex, not just about sex, not just about sex.... P,S. I don`t date black American man like you because you can`t understand what you read... Dear Tatted2death, yes, you did warn me about this kind of response I guess you know him better than me. Peace and hapiness

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  4.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 04 May 10

    Dear Mina Well, as a female journalist you are letting your "personal feelings" affect your judgement. You should look at "both sides of the issue". Now, I am pretty sure you know their are arranged marriages that women 'willingly" go along with in the Muslim culture. Just because a couple "bad apples" are in a religion. That does not mean you taint the whole religion. I beg to ask you "who do you think you are" imposing your will on a culture that has been this way for centuries. Just because Europeans say it is "wrong". I never heard condemnation when polygamy was practiced in this country by "old white men". Who says, Muslim women are not "free". There are "free' American women here, you are correct. Now, does that equal happiness and success for all women. NO. I see women in homeless shelters, struggling with kids with no man around. I also see women barely making it in society with two jobs. They are "free"; so why are they struggling? Explain to me the concept of "free". If you regard the treatment of Muslim women is bad in "Arab countries". Why these feminists never show concern for the struggling women in this country? Freedom does not always equate to success for women. You date black men because "we have the same abusive background". See, that is where you went wrong. I date a woman because I like the "positive things about her" when we first start out in a relationship. I don't say "damn you was abused, me too, let's get together. Your whole concept of black people is kind of screwed up. I hate to tell you this but their are educated black people. In particular, black men like myself with a Bachelor's degree. It is this type of "low expectations" that make me sick of "non black women". Do not date black men because you feel sorry for them. We deserve the same respect like all men. In conclusion, I am glad you are going back to your homeland to help "Muslim women". Bear in mind, there are some Muslim women happy with arranged marriages. There are some Muslim women that find the "Burka" respectable. This is the mindset of a brainwashed liberal woman. She only "sees things one way". All Muslim women is being abused in arranged marriage so let me crusade against it. Unable to see the point of view of people that disagree with her. She is a journalist LOL. WOW I thought journalists were neutral. Good day.

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  5.   MinaG says:
    Posted: 04 May 10

    Mr Laurelton Queens, I just can`t believe you think that 70 years old Taliban has right to marry 11 years old girl, that is the arrange marriage. I`m not some Muslim woman I`m a female journalst who should know Muslim woman more than you do. (Because I came to America 10 years ago when I was 37 years old.) I just can`t believe you think barbaric life style is better for woman than American life style. We have an old saying "Don`t measure the wrong with mistake". Who do you think you are to tell woman how to live her life? I check out your profle, it doesn`t even exist. This kind of mind had the slavery for hundred of years in this country. You want to freedom for yourself but not for woman? When I attended to Harvard University I studied Black American History and I sometimes couldn`t hold my tears what happened to African people in this country. That`s why I like Black American People more than white Americans because I feel like I want to protect them. I date with black American men because we have the same abusive backround that I can understand them. That years are gone Mr Laurelton Queens, you can`t put the women under chain in this country because when you open the birds cage, she will never come back and live under the your tumb again, even you promise to "take care" of her. I`m planing to go back to my country next summer and keep fighting for woman. I might get killed over this battle but we want feedom my friend. We want our "Human" rights. When woman talks about her rights why men always but always think it`s just about sex? If would you like to talk about sex, we are tired of arrange marriage. We have right to choose who to marry. Mr Laurelton Queens and Ichibod, we are normal humanbeings not some exotic things!!! And don`t forget you are the other part of the American Life Style. You have half of the responsiblty that what is wrong or right in this country. Women didn`t create the fast food realtionship trend by herself. What about taking some responsiblity instead of the longing to live like you are not an American? Please leave the Muslim woman alone if you are not going to help her. Dear tatted2death, thank you for your support and understanding. Love and peace for everybody...

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  6. Posted: 04 May 10

    Amazing no one was "Listening" to Mina back in March....LOL. Wonders never cease on this crazy blog.

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  7. Posted: 04 May 10

    Yup...something told me out of all Mina said some were just going to latch on to the religious part of her statement. I think she is quite plainly speaking from her own experience when it comes to that particular part of the post. I think your overall message, Mina was quite the opposite, in telling American women to NOT be so arrogant and to NOT TAKE FOR GRANTED the freedoms that they have. HEY, I even looked at it in a broader scope and saw how it could apply to ALL AMERICANS. But GUESS WHAT SOUNDS EVEN BETTER???.....why not just say EVERYONE needs to find some happiness in their CURRENT situation.....because the grass USUALLY is NOT greener on the other side......ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE NOT WALKED THE WALK (in THOSE "shoes") Speaking of "walking in someone else's shoes", MINA, if you are going to post ANYTHING here you might as well get used to SOME MEN (NOT grouping ANYONE...if THIS "shoe" fits wear it and STFU!!) speaking for WOMEN and down to them as well.....THAT most definitely DOES happen on this site just about everyday. Some seem to have this automatic "understanding" of women that is VERY LIMITED AND NARROW. And trying to give your point of view is basically pointless because they "KNOW ALL" (lmao) and "SEE ALL". I understood where you were coming from, as I am sure many other men and women did and they did NOT feel the need to get all defensive. And then you have some people that feel the need to be contradictory no matter what is being discussed (like pre-teens trying to "assert" their "individuality" or something like that); they don't even really fully understand the topic and they just fly off into left field with an issue. They usually "grow up" to be extremists....never really ever recognizing the "middle ground" as a reality (they will always refer to this "mystical" place as "the fence"....LOL).....just a little advise for the "road" here, MINA....lol. Please don't let anyone make you feel like you can't speak from YOUR EXPERIENCE.....everyone else here does it.....AND IT IS A FREEDOM WE ALL CAN ENJOY....no matter the race, color, gender, etc. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  8.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 03 May 10

    Dear Mina and Ich She is making the statement that "overall" all Muslim women are not happy. That is not true. There are many Muslim women that love their culture. You are saying they 'don't know any better". Oh really, so "Western Culture" is the "right thing for women". Women have some control of their bodies in the United States. However, they still have laws that control a woman's body. Such as "abortion laws. prostitution laws and etc". It is hypocritical to say "Western Culture is the best for women". Also, I have talked to Muslim women and they can choose who they marry. They just have a different criteria than some women. Their "concept" of arranged marriage and what they "look for in a man" is different. Shit, judging from the high unmarried rate for women in the United States. An arranged marriage wouldn't be that bad for them at this point. I don't understand the dynamic but they look at "men differently'. The common theme for Muslim and American women is a man "that can take care of them" financially. Abusive men happen in all 'cultures". You make it seem like Muslim women get beat up everyday. This is the arrogance of Americanized women. Ich made the comment about the Taliban. I have to disagree about the Taliban. People have their "own" set of laws in their country. The Taliban's culture has been around longer than the United States existed. For them to point the "finger" at anybody is hilarious. People have lived their lives this way for centuries. Now the white man can come in and say "hey your women wear burkas". My reply would be "hey your women dress like whores". The Taliban might feel you treat your American women like "whores". The fundamental paternalism of the United States and their citizens. They feel like "you have to live like them". Good day.

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  9.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 02 May 10

    That's not all muslim women or all muslim countries. There ARE muslim women who look at other women like slutty scum because of their lifestyle. Those are the women in cultures who understand the Q'Ran (Koran) for what it is and what it truly teaches. There are muslim women who are raised in places ruled by folks like the Taliban, who have no understanding of the Koran and oppress and brutalize their women. There is definitely a difference. Both Mina and Laurelton are somewhat correct in my opinion. As far as our culture dictating what we are to do or become, since 1978, I have never seen or heard anything telling a person what to do. Advertisements, songs, movies, and TV shows present images that people, particularly young folks, find enticing and emulative, but nothing actually forcing a person to do anything. If a parent or elder relative felt a child needed to do something or accomplish something by a certain age or other point in life, that's on them. It's sad that many people have had such things imposed on them. Is that really much worse than what some other country's customs or culture imposes their people? For some (mature people), it's almost like being spanked. I know I didn't like it, but I understand why and am glad that it was done at times. I also question why it isn't done more in many cases for others, or if it is ever done.

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  10.   MinaG says:
    Posted: 02 May 10

    Mr Laurelton Queens, I must born and lived in the imaginery Muslim country becase there are no such a thing as a happy woman over there. If you are a woman your free mind doesn`t exist for sex because you don`t know anything about it. You get married as a virgin and only your body goes back to the your father`s home in a casket, There is an old Turkish saying "He is your husband he can swear at you and also he can beat you up"!!! How would you say Muslim women are happy, they just don`t know better. How would you like to have sex with a Muslim man if your place comes even after animals. If you are a Muslim woman only but only your viginty has value. They call the divorced woman or widows FLAT TIRE. You always have to fight for everything or accept it which is easier (not for me because I always feel like a normal human being no more, no less) You ask a Muslim woman if she would like to walk around with mini skirt she will automatically would say, "I can`t because I know I`m sexually get assaulted or somebody will teach me a lesson" Muslim women have not any choice at least not for a 100 years. Muslim women don`t have high pregnancy rate because she HAS to married to have a baby plus there is no such a thing as a welfare system (No offense). Please don`t tell me Muslim women are happy because I can assure you that they are not. There is some way we may have to find between two different world but it has to come with love. P.S. Dear tatted2death, thank you...

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  11.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 01 May 10

    (Listening to Mina) What is wrong with Muslim countries? That is the arrogance of the "American woman". Most Muslim women are happy with their lifestyle. Muslim women do not have the high pregnancy rate of American women. The high STD rate and drug addiction rates. The Muslim women may not catch up to American women financially but their lives are fulfilled. Ask a Muslim woman if she would like to walk around with a mini skirt and her breasts hanging out. She will automatically say no. I am tired of American women talking for "Muslim women". Then, you make sex seem like a "chore" for women. Last time I checked, women want sex as much as men do! The bottom line is black women do not want to end up alone like some "homely white women" with cats and working at the local Walmart. Good day.

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  12. Posted: 01 May 10

    Wow.....MinaG......Go "GROWN WOMAN"!!!PREACH....(lol). I am not a communist or anything but I agree wholeheartedly with you here. Americans, in general, do too much bitchin and moanin about certain things. The whole marriage thing is ridiculous here. You are taught from very early on that you are "worthless" if you are not married (or at least engaged) by a certain age. Yet at the same time you better "have that degree" and be built like a supermodel.....WTF?!?!?. Most people nowadays have over-blown self-importance issues....and there are no signs of that getting better. Just look at the popularity of the "social networking" sites. People, come on!!......updating about brushing your dayum teeth?!?!?!LMAO. (I have seen this shyte). People feel they are entitled to having the world on a effing silver platter and when they can't "have it their way" like at Burger King, they develop some "disorder" that warrants taking pharamaceuticals to "function".....SAD,SAD, SAD. People that want their "fifteen minutes" on reality TV need to all be put on an island....oh wait a minute; they have already done that. Thank you, Mina..for saying things I have been thinking for a LOOOOONG time now. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  13.   MinaG says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 10

    Why women so obssesed with men in this country even they think they are better than men(!!!)? Why do you need a men if you already hate them this much? Race is an issue only in America because we have bigger problems to focus on. These things are not even a problem to the other side of the world like, what kind of skin color people have? (Difference makes you more interesting) or how to find a man? We work our behinds off at our jobs and rush home to serve our men (!!!) If anything goes wrong on street in the house it`s only your fault (Who knows what you did to make the man assault you or beat you up) Where ever you go, there are men watching you even you look like a beast. We grow up with sexual discramination and we have to act like we deserve it. If you tried to speak up, nobody is going to pay attention. For once I spoke at female journalist conference and said we all got raped or sexually assaulted at work place and we have to stand up but nobody but nobody spoke up. If you are not virgin, you can`t get get married but men can have sex as much as he wants because it makes him a real man. Talking about how difficult to be an American woman, Please go and live (Not for vacation, actual living, like get a job, an apartment) in the one of muslim country when you come back here, you will kiss this freedom land because this country is blessing for women. Please get real and enjoy your life because life is too precious to be wasted. Get in shape, lighten up about men, love yourself and than love other people. If you don`t have a man so what? You won`t die. If you love yourself enough, you won`t need to another person to be happy. When you meet a man you can share your hapiness with him and find a balance between him and you because I believe, balance is the key of the hapiness... Only sex and food attracts the people in this country. They want everthing from drive-throu window, fast, easy and cheap. I`m tired of the listening spoiled people. You are so lucky and you don`t appreciate it.

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  14.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 10

    khoibito Homey I never saw it from your point of view. It is not what "white women are doing". It is what "black women" ARE NOT DOING. They love the fridge, negros telling them fat is thick! What the hell is "thick"? I date full figured black women. Yea they got more shape than a sloppy white woman that is fat. Nowadays white women are getting ass and hips. They must be eating that cornbread or popeyes chicken with hormones in it. However, if you let the weight creep up on you. You will be 250 to 275. Ask a white man if dated a black woman between 180 and 220 consistently like black men do. They are going to say no! You are lucky black men don't slap the twinkie out of your mouth for even saying white men want you more than black men do. Are you smoking that "Reggie Bush"?????????????? You recognize the beauty bestowed upon you by men. You wouldn't put on tight clothes and makeup if you ain't want attention from men. You are going to say "I do it to make myself feel good". That is bullshit. Men make you feel good, therefore you feel good about yourself. I don't know if white women are easy. I do think they have a tougher time with some black men. The aggression they are attracted to can backfire on them. Black women always say "white women put up with your shit". Oh yea, like black women don't do the same. If you have a black man with a house, car and a good job. You are just going to walk away over another woman! Not even Sara would do that to Scoff! Scoff already said he was with numerous women before he settled down with Sara. Tell the readers the truth on the board. Not feel good quotes that make no sense. Good day

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  15. Posted: 09 Feb 10

    Thanks to fenway and 12cuddlewith for "agreeing to disagree" in such a respectful, peaceful manner.....your vibe is appreciated here. Fenway.....you have that "balance" that calls to mind another fine man here....(yeah, Ich....I am talking about YOU....LOL) Cuddle......you are a sister after my own heart. You most definitely have the right to speak up for yourself here (and you don't even need others to tell you that.....LOL). I believe that the woman-hating on both sides of the spectrum must cease for any amount to TRUE love to be had by ANYONE. To sit and listen to a dude go on about his ex.....whatever color, race, creed, size, etc. she might have been is beyond dumb. So EVERY woman needs to recognize their OWN true beauty and NOT accept being told what they should embody.....PERIOD. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  16.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 10

    @ 12cuddle Girl you saved me from having you show me where I said you had a problem...lol I see what you are saying, even agree to a certain extent. So while it would be nice to have people see and practice what you are preaching, the reality is that they don't. People are judgmental, critical, haters, and are bitter about things they don't understand. So I just choose to seek understanding from all posts concerning relationships. You have to remember there is a reason people feel the way they do. It I believe it has merit, I ponder it and make it a part of me. It I believe it to be garbage, I leave it on the buffet.

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  17. Posted: 08 Feb 10

    let me clarify.......i know no one was talking about me so i was referring that comment about no one knowing me as a general statement.

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  18. Posted: 08 Feb 10

    @fenway oh i am open to anyone's opinions and comments no doubt.....but i refuse to sit back and listen about all these white women this and white women that....who made anyone the president of white women....if one don't know me then no one can comment on me....unless someone up in here has done a study or a poll on white women.....i don't take to heart what anyone has to say..........that would be like me saying black women are this and that....based off of what black men say about them..... Interracial relationship of course comes with criticism just like any other relationship even two black folks relationship especially when the one isn't good for the other. I mean we will always be looked at and have folks say comments behind their back or under their breathe, possbily have shyt said to them, and thats coming from all races not just black but i look at it like this...I"M NOT THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM.......if someone takes the time to call me out on MY relationship then they need to take the time to RE-EVALUATE their own life.

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  19.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 05 Feb 10

    @12cuddlewith The reason people are on here is simple. Being in an interracial relationship comes with ramifications, criticism and ridicule being part of it. You cannot change this aspect, but you can learn to deal with it. So talking and blogging helps to gain different insights and understanding. You just have to use this forum like a buffet. Talk what you want and leave the rest.

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  20. Posted: 24 Jan 10

    For all this nonsense talk up in here, why are folks even on a interracial dating site if all we are going to do is down the next person thats not of your race? That don't make no sense to me. I mean seriously why are folks here? Then for all the 'so called" white women theories are stupid....and i don't follow or go by any of them....i have seen women of other races just as easy at times. everything is based on the personal choice to get them some....if they want it they are going to get it......it's just we are too easy to pick on when it comes to white/black issues and alot of folks assume because of what folks here. For me when a black women says a white woman is easy, how they know, where ya there? and to be honest, i wouldnt be suprised them too have given it up easily also. Uh hello! Im not here to down anyone but i refuse to be put in a catergory because of my skin color.

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  21.   BlackCowboy says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 10

    OF COURSE Iprefer buxom blondes!!!!!What 100% red-blooded(and hot-blooded)lad doesn't?

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  22. Posted: 01 Jan 10

    Wow.....so once again it comes to putting someone else down to justify why you do what YOU do?!?!?! AMAZING.....how PEOPLE (in general) tend to think waaaaay to highly of themselves based on "accomplishment", material wealth, physical beauty, etc.....whether or not it was "the plan", can we delve below the surface here??? Maybe not...because maybe then all that superficial swag might not hold that much appeal after all. And "the plan" will have been all for naught... When attributes like honesty, integrity, loyalty and plain old respect become "in-thing" maybe we will stop having train-wreck relationships (*cough TIGERKOBE*) that were based on values thinner than the paper the marriage certificate was printed on... DISCLAMER: NOT SAYING THAT THERE AREN'T ANY BW/WM FAILED (public) RELATIONSHIPS (I AM SURE THERE ARE) BUT THESE MEN, IN PARTICULAR SHOULD HAVE EITHER KEPT IT IN THEIR PANTS OR BEEN SMARTER WITH THE "GAME"....PFFT....just calling it like I see it....plain and simple. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  23.   khoibito says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 09

    Let's face it, black men have done an excellent job of diminishing the image of black men. Living in Harlem, traveling to ATL, TX, Philly, DC, I regularly see the neanderthal with his pants below the waste, IN MY AGE GROUP and younger. That being said, white women do not necessarily do anything to attract me, it's more a matter of black women repelling me. The few black women that are successful, fit, childless, attractive and single, act as if they've accomplished something special, when all they did was what they were supposed to do. Whereas white women who are attractive, successful, etc., act as if that was the plan all along.

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  24.   Armando_G says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 09

    I've just read some of the post's here...and I have to say, if some of you hate people just because of they'r level of melanin (black or white) then go and ***** yourself. You are not needed in this world. Peace.

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  25.   justin says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 09

    if color was no issue in relationships, then why are you guys on this site seeking it out? just let it be.

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  26. Posted: 17 Oct 09

    Man, I have decided I am gonna take over the comic book game and come out with a character that lives in a little dark hole and skews everything that he just happens to hear from above.....and HEY, wouldn't it be absolutely hilarious if he happened to have INTERNET access......dayum.....someone's going to steal that one (LMAO).

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  27. Posted: 17 Oct 09

    LMAO....Hey Salassin.....we might as well admit we are "Mr. and Ms. Loose Booty" in Queens' sad little world....wher everythings get twisted like a bad weave. Hey where's my sash and crown, dayummit....this pageant sucks....LMAO.

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  28.   triccinicci says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    OMG! So much animosity here! Couldn't watch the vid as it's been removed due to copyright infringement, but I read the description beneath. The bottom line is Black men want to be thought of in a decent way. Well, that's outlandish some would say (as they reach to read another chapter on "How To Stereotype All of Humanity")! It's just a shame it has to be a thought. Don't ALL men want to be thought of in a positive way (warrantable until actions prove otherwise); heck that includes women also. The support statement to that had something to do with White women...interpreted, Men of Color have used Caucasian women to express the goodness they feel society in general does not perceives in them. Not every Man of Color is a badass. They are not Rambo or want to be associated with the Left...they just want an ordinary life to attain peace and happiness. What ordinary expresses is each man's justification of living standard and life expectation to be achieved. Since Black and White relations were conditionally a non-traditional caste system in this country, often African American men coyly subjugated their cultural sisterhood in internal (intra)racism against Women of Color. I believe this is what caused the rift initially with African American women and men. The outlook it was presented with was the same exactly as what Caucasian men presented in their false superiority of white women over black. Very much as if someone from the same caste "raised himself" and felt his right to break through the caste to enjoy the fruits of such labor. In white society it was a certain level of prized woman. Yet, that prize only existed if it retained it's value. So in my estimation, black men set out in their own culture to influence the perception of the overstimulated value of Caucasian women by denegrating their own women. Thus, provoking a terse reaction between the two cultural aspects of women born issues. Now in no means am I saying that people will not have their own issues and honestly it has its own natural occurance in the social conditioning as does all elements of economic desparities and changes in cultural demographics. I think it was simpler for African American males to make the switch because they were trying to effectuate a true nuclear family in society itself and not the numerous happen stance, sex based families generated by wm/bw, in part because the black woman could truly add no social or economic pressure to the decision. Since most Men of Color really didn't fear mother and sister and either didn't have fathers or saw them having a more blissful life than the father they had...well goes the rest of the story. Like one guy on the site said - and this is not a direct quote - he loves being white because they are better represented in the media. I think Men of Color, especially African American men, began to associate the things thought to "bring" that positive interaction between Caucasians and society itself. One of those tools was the woman they had, which happened to have wider appeal being she was their own kind (Other women may have been treated differently during the time. Certainly everything was compared to the standard of the w/w relationship as whites tended to believe no other society existed). When African American men in this country (based on a broad scope and not specific to each person's reasonings) begin to factor they wanted equal time in the wider appeal of society (not the segregated societies), they studied the organization of the American Caucasian. Like a television commercial or a film for the masses, I believe they selected a woman from the society they wanted to be recognized as having the same qualities as to bespeak the inclusion they sought. Even if just marginally, it was a beginning, a statement. I don't think all were turning their backs on their particular social mores in the African American community. Most wanted the right to choose, to have what they want and some had the balls to do it - regardless of the consequences (and there were some consequences to be sure). Yes, there was fallout, but I just think people at that time looked at ways for individual survival and the experience of what they were "shown" good was. When the Caucasians (who thought they had debased all contenders and threats to their society, not to their woman as is often propogated as she was just a symbol of what it stood for - untouchable society made for a few) saw a white woman would willing give up her status of a pedestaled untouchable for action and love he (Caucasian male), naturally, felt threatened. This is the same thing African American women deal with today in the Man of Color believing he has scrutinized and ESTABLISHED a place for the Woman of Color and she'd BETTER NOT MOVE from it or feel the wrath of being called a sell out (hahahahaha)! The two ideals are juxtaposed inversions of the other. I believe when people see they can hold the position in humanity that belies traditional roles and that can be achieved successfully with love, encouragement and gentle admonishion...I believe they'll lead in that general direction. Even if it means overcoming stereotypes rather good or bad. Here's another picture painted for those needing a visual: If someone could project a picture for you, sorta like the Ghost of Christmas Future, and show you a demoralized, turned down, negated, tuned out figure with no visible place in society and ask you your opinion of that miserable soul. What would you say? Then if the heart of that person could be revealed and it showed an earnest, loving, intelligent being just wanting to grasp and accomplish the ideals of the pinnacle of mankind. What would you think? Just then if the miserly ways of an unjust society could reveal to you how its devisive ways to purposefully withhold humanity, compassion, accessibility and mostly love as should be received in a WELL ROUNDED society. Especially one calling itself a Democracy. What would your perception be? Lastly, what if it could be proven the only effort placed forth to place a person in such a dehumanizing, unspiritual, physically and emotionally fragmenting state was the color of the skin. Period. Now, in all of this, if the person could be revealed as you, the intellect your soul and the society as being ours would you want to be that person? All humans have the instinct to survive. As humans we are granted a variety of tools through which we CHOOSE this mechanism's standard, capacity and action. I cannot and will not get into all the varied details on how we can simplistically stop these debates, but I will say this. Love conquers all. If all I had to do is voice the washing away of hatred, putridity and massive compelling to waste life to death through the action of Love; by so doing putting such evil asunder, I would do it. So I, for one, do not see people as selling out. What have all those deaths been for? Which is higher? Love or Hate? Now do all men select mates just for love? Ask those who marry equally for the reasons of money, power, just because 'she's a good cook'. Depends on the depth of the intellect or just the instinct to survive. Can any of us discern what is good or bad for another? Whoever does outside of the choices made for the children in this world, misspeak. How dare I tell another woman, "you'd better not be with him because he's not what I say he should be"! For the man too. If Black man has left his racial counterpart, there are plenty of other fish in the sea. If you are one who wants to contend for the "options" he now has, throw yourself at his feet or role play (I hear blond wigs are in and blue contacts can make you any woman, lol) if you care. What is the value you seek and what is the value you are getting? Why be with any man that loathes you because they yearn and burn for another? What if it's not another woman, but merely the color of her skin or what she represents? Love can truly be colorblind unless we place it beneath the bushel and prevent it from the light of day. My final encouragement to Black men, to myself and all those who care to examine these words rather you choose a mate from your culture (I'm American and refuse to represent a race, I do enough for my COUNTRY) - Clear your mind and heart of all animosities. Call to your brother and not to his skin, it's you wanting to reach him and he resides in spirit, within.

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  29.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    Still to obtuse to get it. If I say I would date an Australian aborigine or a Mapuche Indian. It doesn't mean I am dating them now. But I have no problem dating the spectrum. Until I am married, I am not tied down to dating one person. Your relationship must suck if you spend so much time on this website.

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  30.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    LOL Salsassin I am a misogynistic racist now? I am one of the bad apples. I beg to disagree with you sir. Now an intelligent man like yourself knows better than that. You said this "Your assumption that I have written off any women is highly amusing. I date women of all ethnicities. Womanizer? LOL. No sorry, I dont go out on a ton of dates, like you." You just admitted you are a womanizer by saying you date different women from all ethnicities . Sorry to burst your bubble but I have been in a steady four year relationship. I am not running around with different women like you "pendejo". You are so adept at deflecting the attention away from yourself. Again, if black women are so great, why you haven't settled down with one? Mr "I date all ethnicities". This is a Marquez and Floyd Mayweather fight and you are Marquez. You better drink Gorilla piss if you spar with me.

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  31.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    LOL. More stupidity. I don't judge Black men. That is your paranoia. I do judge morons like you who happen to be Black. You are one of the bad apples. My philosophy is tolerance. Yeah misogynistic racists like you don't fit in that scheme. Your assumption that I have written off any women is highly amusing. I date women of all ethnicities. Womanizer? LOL. No sorry, I don't go out on a ton of dates, like you. You are just a pendejo with a self confidence problem, and you try to compensate by scapegoating everyone else for your issues. Intimidated by Black men. LOL Not quite.

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  32.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    Dear Salsassin That's funny coming from a person that judges black men from a few bad apples. You damn hypocrite. Black women who date outside of the race are sellouts. That is why I call them "sellout black women". Clearly, you have written off white women you pathetic coward. So don't preach to me you coward. I already know you don't like black men unless they 'agree with your philosophy" "massa" Salsassin. Maybe you suffer from your "own from of entitlement and paranoia". Why don't you just admit you are intimidated by black men? I could respect you more. You don't have a steady relationship with a black woman. But you want to preach to me about how I treat black women. Tell the people on this board how you are a womanizer. You got several black women you are sexually degrading and they don't know about each other.

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  33.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    Usual stupidity from dumb ass. His antimiscegenation rants and over all assholishness are indication enough of his stunted mental processes. Why do any people get judged by the bad apples? Visibility. Look at how you judger all Black women who date outside their group as sell outs. The only hypocrite here is you. Dating outside one's group is not writing off those who are inside the group. So long as they are all put into the dating pool. Try again.

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  34.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    Dear Salsassin Why should all black men be judged by a few bad apples like that is acceptable? I can say every white person is racist if they don't believe in Barak Obama's policies. I am offended you called me bitter and paranoid. Since everything I say is backed up by facts. Why do white women date inter racially more than black women? Black women can barely get white men to enter a serious relationship with them. You are implying I am not a good man because I don't agree with the motives for interracial dating. You are a coward because you try to play that divide game between black men. I never hear people say "well that is a bad white man" because he does not agree with dating black women. You need to stop kissing 85k guy ass to make yourself seem like "you like black men". 85k guy philosophy is not that far off from mine. I rather just come out and call you a coward. You keep romanticizing white men and you get nothing in return on it. If anybody is paranoid and stupid, it is you. Then you said writing off men by looks is stupid. Isn't dating outside of race is writing men off because of their looks. If he is black, you will not date him. You sound like you are contradicting yourself. You stupid hypocrite! Have a nice day.

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  35.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    To 85kguy Some are obsessing over White guys; others are just expanding their horizons. I think the first is unhealthy, the second is healthy. It is true that you see more White men in this country in interethnic relations. But that is also because there are more White men in the country. The question would be, what percentage of each population dates outside their ethnic group. I would disagree that Black men dont go for paleness. They just usually stick in their comfort zone. Because of admixture, Many African American women are born with light skin. And I dont mean light mahogany or wheat colored. I am speaking European skin tone, ala the Fords. They still get men quite quickly. But they are ethnically Black women. When Black men date outside their group, they date across the board. From the palest Asian or European to the darkest Indian. And some do go for fetish type specifics. Same with White men. Many who get bored with White women still end up dating pale Asians. Beauty is about exposure to cultural norms of what is beautiful since childhood. As the parameters have expanded in the media, our beauty standards have grown. It is true that many Black men get judged by the bad apples in their basket. This is unfortunate. Unfortunately, crime is disproportionately represented by the African American community both by actual criminals, but also the media. Tony Walsh wrote a good book, on how the oppression of African Americans led to this situation. It has created many paranoiac, bitter, entitled haters like Laurelton Queens, by which good men like you are misjudged. To Tyrant Its Kumbaya. That is Gullah-Geechee speech from Georgia, South Carolina. It means Come by here. Kum bay ya, my Lord, kum bay ya; I agree that women should judge ALL men by the content of their character. Writing off men because of looks is stupid. To romnomor Skin color genetics is not like mixing paint. Light skin and dark skin will still manifest no matter how much we mix.

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  36.   Laurelton says:
    Posted: 02 Oct 09

    I know "loose booty" is not preaching. She actually said this "I must say I like how you think.yet I hope a day also comes when ALL women can relax and stop looking at each other as competition of any sort" Like my nephew says "C'MON SON" You was hating on Big eyes. You still haven't talked to her all that much after she stole your man. I am bit disgusted by this self righteous talk. "Tatt" that on your forehead. romnomor girl you look good. You can tell the truth. Sellout black women will always dislike white women because they feel they are "in the way". When all else fails for a sellout black women try to bully white women out of "the dating scene". White women nearly double lap black women when it comes to "interracial dating". There will always be that resentment by black women. They need to be the center of attention. What sellout black women need to do is observe what white women are doing and stop failing. LooK for that "INTERRACIAL DATING" WHITE WOMEN THE NEW FACE OF BLACK MOTHERHOOD. I think that will be controversial. Actually, I reversed that title from a sellout black woman author. She wrote "White men the new face of black fatherhood". I was like ho did you fall on your head? I decided to do my own title. Man look for it. I plan to work on it this weekend on my blog. http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/

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  37. Posted: 02 Oct 09

    thank you, romnomor.... ...I must say I like how you think....yet I hope a day also comes when ALL women can relax and stop looking at each other as competition of any sort... ....And don't you dare put yourself down for being "pale" or "pasty". Trust and believe there are people out there who would kill for your skin tone. Love being you as I love being me. You seem like a beautiful soul and you have an "sister-in-combat" in me (against the "purists"...lol). Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  38.   romnomor says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Thank you 85kguy. We white women do compete with ALL other races, not just black and I love that you pointed this out. You were right that american men of all races do NOT LIKE us pasty white chicks or as you said "Pale" women. We compete with ALL of the other more exotic looking women which seems to be the flavor of choice now. The days of the pale white girl being considered attractive has passed. Echo in a new century of blended colors. Maybe that means we as a society are making more progress toward unity than we thought we were. :-)

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  39.   romnomor says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    The day will come when we will discontinue judging by the color of skin because, hallelujah, if we keep pro-creating outside of our races like all of us on this site....we will conquer the purists and will all be shades of beige anyway :-)

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  40.   romnomor says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 09

    Thank you kid47 and tatted2death for being voices of reason. This entire conversation could and should have ended with your remarks. I am a strong, white woman, (not easy), sometimes possessing the "good" and "bad" stereotypical traits of both black and white women (as well as possibly asian? who knows). It is difficult to assess why people of any race are attracted to people of their own or other races. I am not sure a tangible answer exists but I do know that, on one hand, I believe stereotypes became as such for a reason, yet stereotypes are but a sample of the population. I dislike the negative comments about both black and white women in this thread, because, in my experience neither is accurate. This conversation could apply to interracial friendships as well as romantic ones and still the same debate would occur, albeit less passionately, I presume.

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  41.   TYRANT says:
    Posted: 11 Sep 09

    @bigeyes31 I havent read all of the responses but I think itll be a fine day when regardless of the hue of our skin, we all start dating people who happen to be black, white or whatever rather than black, white or whatever men and women. Personally, its about time that we start putting Dr Martin Luther King Jrs dreams into action in the smaller circled of our own lives by judging each other not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character. TYRANT: I think its great that there are people who want to put Dr. Martin Luther Kings dream into action, but before we start holding hands, singing kumara, and swaying, I cant help but wonder why is it that black people are so willing to judge EVERYONE but each other by the content of their character instead of the color of their skin? Arent black men and women suppose to judge each other by the CONTENT of their CHARACTER? In theory, one would think so but in actual practice this just isnt the case. Black people are quicker to judge each other-and quite HARSHLY, I add-even more than white people. This is apparent in the number of black women who swear off black men and vice versa. I find these factsdisturbing. As a black man, I LOVE women-especially black women-and I judge each and every single woman I come across by the way they treat me. Ive had good experiences with black women as well as bad ones, but I would NEVER use the bad experiences Ive had as an excuse to NOT date black women. If I did, then I wouldnt be the strong, aggressive, dominant, passionate, educated, intelligent, mature, and yes-oh-yes, handsome black man I pride myself on being. I admit, Im LEERY of IR couples of the BW/WM and BM/WW type because either the black woman hates black men or the black man hates black women. I know, Im wrong to assume, but when youve seen the constant bashing that goes on between black men and women on the message boards, and the horrible things each says about the other, you cant help but get that impression. Hey, Im not perfect, but Im pretty damn close. Any who, the point Im making is that its HYPOCRITICAL for black women and men to endorse JUDGING others by the CONTENT of their CHARACTER and not the COLOR of their SKIN when we refuse to do the same to each other.

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  42.   Renee says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 09

    At least it's over. No more fighting guys.

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  43.   85kguy says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 09

    Wow, Still needing white people after all this time. They freed us over a century ago. Well, not really need, but obsess over. A good white woman may face more competition with Asians, blacks, and latinos all looking for white men. Where I live there are three major cultures and the black one is the third. Hispanics make the second culture to what the government calls white. They seem to never obsess over who is dating or marrying who. However, on the other end of the spectrum Native americans feel pain and have real startling problems due to what happened to them hundreds of years ago. I have never dated a white woman in my life. Too busy dodging those black men who were gay and especially those bullies who were on their way to prison. A gunslinger eventually gets taken down. Can't get caught up in the madness of black on black when you are young. Black men really don't go for paleness, and a lot of white men don't either. Beauty is no longer about being white and may never have been in the first place. I guess it is where you live. Hispanics make up a large segment of the population in the southwestern US. Here can look out our proverbial window and see more than just white people and black people. Because of this website I went to a white church for the first time. It was very nice and they visited my home (by suprise actually). The ladies-only group brought baked cookies of various types. I had filled out the visitor card and so they came visiting. Not that would expect that in New York or Milwaukee but that happens in the southwest in a lot of major metro areas nowadays. Because so many black men are in trouble most women do not look at black men. Look at singles ads. Black men are the least likely to be picked by women of other races based on the bad in their community of men. The same ones that I avoided are taking me down with them sometimes and in some avenues. I can imagine it feels good to be treated like the good man you try to be no matter which woman does it. I was glad that the church people treated me nice on my visit. I'm a veteran. I am educated (now, night school grad). Yet, I am trapped in a situation I can do nothing about any more than the Native american can about the high percentage of meth heads and alchoholics on the reservations nowadays. I can see what the white woman says about her black husband. Black Sisters: those white ladies seem to compete with more women (black, asian, hispanic)for a good white man than you seem to have to for a good black man. I think that you can look in a singles ad in the paper and see white women predominately looking for caucasian, hispanic or asian males. When you feel like obsessing over them, just look at the singles ads. Very few want or love black men. Maybe that great stat guy with the inspirational story can work on that or James can put a blog on that. What white women compete with compared to black women.

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  44.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    julietsiera I agree with you wholeheartedly. We have to learn to look at people for their character and not skin. Does that person treat you well? Does that person make you want to be a better YOU? Just like any other dream, you can't just dream it. You have to take steps to make it a realization. Until then, it is just a dream. You are right it begins with the individual. Great comments.

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  45.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 09

    To prettybrowneyes Its your prerogative to date white men only but dont justify your choice by saying black men dont respect black woman. Quality is in the person not in the colour and you are to hateful to see that

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  46.   julietsiera says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 09

    I haven't read all of the responses but I think it'll be a fine day when regardless of the hue of our skin, we all start dating people who happen to be black, white or whatever rather than black, white or whatever men and women. Personally, it's about time that we start putting Dr Martin Luther King Jr's dreams into action in the smaller circled of our own lives by judging each other not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character. juliet

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  47.   Salsassin says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 09

    Oh wow. Thanks for the compliments. Its the military lawyer anthropologist in me. LOL

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  48. Posted: 15 Jul 09

    I must agree with BAMF here.....he most definitely provided an interesting read.....AND he stepped up when some others tried to dominate the board with mostly negative B.S....went toe-to-toe..(GOTTA LUV THAT).....muchas gracias. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  49. Posted: 29 Jun 09

    Salsassin I think you are a very interesting man. I was intrigued by your posts and your tendancy to try and educate, instead of control, others. You kept me reading... Thanks for the insight, B : )

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  50.   KC says:
    Posted: 13 Jun 09

    I don't see why there's this argument. I mean being a lowly "third-worlder" from little old Barbados, I think I still have enough sense to know any woman, whether white, black, blue or purple will go with who makes her feel good, emotionally, spiritually and physically and who treats her to what she wants and needs. So what about our gay sisters, who would rather cuss a man than say "hi" to him? Get it? You can't decide what a person is looking for in a relationship or who they will decide to get it from. I mean it's the same way with us guys. I like big assed girls with tits to match. I like them brazen and kinky(and I mean kinky!). I like them bold and outspoken and strong, because I find that women who have those traits tend to be alot more dependable. And let me tell you: nothing gets my blood up than a good old argument. I like girls who can cook and clean, not that I need them to because I can do both but hell, I love when my woman cooks for me, pampers me and then fucks me silly, just like anybody else. Does that make me a pig? Or a victim of a white-imposed mindset that I will never be free of? Does that make spice and negresse sellouts because they decide to give it up only to white men? Give me a break. Am I to believe that every black guy that dates a white woman and loves her and wants to share his life with her is secretly heeding to the slave mentality instilled by the whip and chain? As a black man with a degree and nearing completion of another one, am I so stupid that I will NEVER break this supposed mindset and do what I want simply because I want to. Give me a break! People fuck who they like to fuck! People are free to love who they want and that is one thing that slavery or lynching or poverty or whatever couldn't take from us. I would never say we had it easy as black people but if we want to realise our true potential we have to show the love that wasn't shown to us, first among ourselves and help each other and respect each other. Instead of throwing historical tidbits around like stones trying to prove how academic we are we should be focussing on more important stuff: like loving all our brothers and sisters, showing mercy where others have shown us hatred, respect where we received none. Otherwise how can we say that we were wronged when we perpetuate the same, how then can we condemn those who have wronged us before? I fully appreciate my past but I know enough to see that history is for us to learn where our forebears went wrong so that we wouldn't follow in the same mistakes. Look, there are many white girls I know who come from strict families here on this island whose tiny asses have been put on the curb because they just can't get enough black dick. But reading some of these commments I suppose that's ok. After all that would fit into some neat revenge-role-reversal paradigm or something. I personally think that some black men are just as offended when they see a black sister confident and independent enough to do as they please with who they please. You can always tell. It starts with the snide remarks, progresses to insults, then the peurile diatribes about how much of a whore they are or will be and then you hear the stories of what mama said back in the day. Sad but true. No accomplished, progressive black man is going to look for an uneducated, unmotivated, skanky woman white, black, indian, hispanic or asian as a first choice for a wife and mother of his children.He'll look for someone that is at least intelligent enough to talk reasonably with and sensible enough to know that if she fools around, chances are she'll lose a good thing( as we flatter ourselves sometimes) If he says otherwise, update: he's a FUCKING LIAR! We also have to realise that women don't have to explain themselves whenever they voice their opinions or state a preference. Spice likes white guys, so? Good for her! I wish her every happiness and moreso I hope she gives him so much nookie that he tastes it in his dreams. Here in Barbados I know lots of guys who only date white girls for the same reasons that spice claims to prefer white men for and some do it for alot worse, does that make them sellouts because they find their happiness in their own way with the people they want to be with? Some people make it with animals for Christ's sake! Go where your happiness calls and live for you! Only God can judge.

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