Sexual Abuse and behavior problems don't just happen to someone else!
Have you noticed behavior from a loved one or friend that confuses you? Perhaps their actions are inappropriate and you're not sure what to do or if you are just over reacting. Sometimes people's actions are a cry for help. Are you really listening or are you subscribing to the "somebody else's problem" way of thinking?
We often joke about people coming out of relationships with some extra "baggage". In some cases, that baggage that we're talking about is childhood wounds and secrets that were barely mentioned; let alone treated. I'm referring to sexual abuse. It's the thing that a lot of families don't talk about, or maybe don't even know about because the victims are sworn or threatened into secrecy.
Let's first dispel the myths. Sexual abuse doesn't just happen to children, women or one race or religion. However, when it happens during your childhood and is not detected or addressed, then it could led to a lifetime of "baggage" and emotional trauma. It affects us all because we are all connected. That abused little girl grows up to believe that she has to use her body to get what she wants in this world. So, she does, with your brother, son, father, husband.
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That little abused boy grows up not trusting, because the people he thought should have saved him didn't and now he's not only confused about his own sexuality he has to prove to himself that he is a man by being with as many women as he can.
I'm always stunned when I hear people put down getting professional help. Usually it's people that have never spoken with a psychologist or therapist of any sort that have the strongest opinions about why they don't work. The truth is that we need to talk to someone. There are more and more people walking around this earth that have had some form of physical, mental or emotional abuse than not. Chances are if you were not a victim as a child or young adult, someone you know was.
This affects the way they communicate with others. It affects their ability to trust and be trusted. The saddest part is that there are some of us that don't realize that there was abuse in our past and that it is not Normal and it certainly was NOT your fault!
Have you ever seen an adult play with a child or talk about a child in a way that made you feel uncomfortable? Don't ignore the behavior or your gut. Ask questions. We often hear the horror stories after the fact. Then people close to the situation say there were signs, they just didn't want to believe it.
Here's just a few:
- Talks again and again about the sexual activities of children or teens
- Talks about sexual fantasies with children
- Was abused as a child and won't deal with it
- Encourages silence and secrets in children
- Collects or enjoys looking at child pornography
- Asks adult partners to dress or act like a child or teen during sexual activity
- Spends most spare time on activities involving children or teens, not adults
If you know someone or suspect that perhaps you may have a problem talk with someone right away. Get help. There are a ton of agencies listed on the internet that you can contact to get the information and assistance that you need to address your individual situation.
No one can turn back the hands of time and undo any wrong that has been done to you or someone you love. What we can do is stop this from happening to anyone else that we love.
I'll help you get started now...here's a toll free number for help 1 888 PREVENT.