How to turn that predictable date into an unforgettable escapade

Posted by James, 03 Dec 08

“Why am I on this boring date?” Yawn! “What next? A movie?” Well, no matter how creative, talented or fun you might be, sometimes you just find yourself trapped in one boring and predictable date.

Well, if you are taking a woman out and want to impress her, show her something new. Be adventurous. Try an experience she has never had before and if you do it right, trust me, the favor will be return later in the evening, best way she knows how. ;-)

Author of 'How to Make Someone Love You Forever in 90 Minutes or Less' Nicholas Boothman says, “A great date is about ‘me too’ moments … Its also about self-disclosure, where you grow closer by exchanging ideas, feelings, hopes, and vulnerabilities. ” The best thing is to find a place that can ignite intimacy-building conversation.

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Here are some of the dates you can elevate to a new level of unforgettable adventure:

Dinner and a movie … we are so used to doing it in that order. Why not see the movie first and instead of popcorn and soda, why not sneak in some plastic wine glasses and have that. Yeah it’s against the rules – My exact point. The forbidden has always been tantalizing. Doing the movie first puts you on a common ground. You will have the movie to talk about over dinner no matter how different your day was. Plus the vino will have relaxed the both of you enough.

Much as dates can be filled with romantic moments, most of them are doomed to fail coz they are clichés – New Year’s Eve kiss, sunset on the beach … you know them. Instead of watching the sunset, why not paint it? When you both paint it, it definitely won’t come out the same. Talking about why her sun is blue will be a more revealing conversation that the usual tell-me-about-yourself fare.

The thing is, when both of you get creative together, it reveals stuff like values and dreams without anyone feeling interrogated, threatened or exposed.

If you were planning on a Sunday drive, try invading some for-sale homes. Such adventures are perfect for setting up scores for of insightful exchanges. Here you will learn a great deal about the person – their taste – plus it will also spark up interesting things to discuss seeing as it’s a home you are checking out. Author of 'What Men Still Don’t Know About Women, Relationships and Love', Herb Goldberg, Ph.D. says, “Looking at homes is a great way to encourage a natural, organic conversation about what you want from the future – how you see your lives unfolding.”

Much as smacking golf balls may be fun, most women probably have done this a million times before … on first dates. So instead of hitting the driving range, why not try shooting clay birds for a change? Exploding a bunch of clay disks with a shot gun? I bet you, this is something she may not have had ever on her date plate. Most women have never gone shooting before and they get fascinated once they do. And according to Paula d’ Autremont, manager, Angeles Shooting Ranges in CA, 90% of the women who go there have better shots than men.

Trust me, one round of competitive trapshooting will be a perfect first date. I mean, aren’t you tired of sitting across your date in a restaurant with nothing to talk about? After all, intimacy is about revealing the ‘self’; but the ‘self’ isn’t revealed on command. Why not put your anxiety into focusing on the target you plan on shooting at and see how freely the conversation flows.

It don’t have to be the same ol’ dinner and a movie or a walk on the beach. Get your heart into it and make date No. 1 comfortable and memorable.

What out-of-this-world first date ideas have you ever put to test that blew both you and your date away? Care to share?

12 responses to "How to turn that predictable date into an unforgettable escapade"

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  1.   fire321 says:
    Posted: 29 Jul 09

    I'm all for being creative and not cliche' on a first date but really...it's a first date. I'm assuming there's been some sort of exchange between both parties prior to setting up the first date. It would be different if it was a blind date and you really don't know what the person is like.

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  2.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 08 May 09

    To Timbo649, You mentioned that lunch and dinner is not a good first date, is breakfast a bad first date as well? Has all your dates made you feel like you were on an interview? I think dates that don't involve a meal is applicable. You can just have fun and laugh while you're bowling or at a baseball game or at an amusement park. However, I do believe that a date involving a meal can be nice as well. I guess it all comes down to what you are really expecting from a date. I'm curious about something that you said, which was "eating a meal with a stranger is weird", but you also said that "going out to dinner is something you do after sex". Isn't she still a stranger after sex? If you just want sex, just say so. You never know she just might want only sex herself. I don't think women are on this site or any site solely to look for a husband. Having said that, I don't think that women sit around and focus solely on being single, and feeling sorry for themselves, being single is not a bad thing. I would think ending up with the wrong person would be much, much worse! Again I think it's what each of us want on a individual basis. What she's looking for might not be what you are looking for, no big deal or at least it shouldn't be. I wonder why some men are still single? I guess because for all different reasons. For what it's worth not all women are ready or want to be married and most women can go out to eat without having an escort or needing a man to pay for a meal. I make great money, so do my friends, single and married. My best friend makes more money than I do, she's single, straight, almost forty but don't talk to her about settling down and especially having kids. She wants no part in that, but that's her choice. That's what it's all about, an individual choices. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with you, you best believe it has nothing to do with your wining and dining her. Ususally when women first meet you within a few minutes she knows if she is going to sleep with you or not. It may not be that same day, or even in the same week, but trust me she knows!! If for some reason she does change her mind about not sleeping with you, it will have absolutely nothing to do with the physical and masculinity that turned her on from the first moment, it's usually has something to do with something that came out of your mouth. In other word's, sometime men need to just be quiet!! Maybe you should just stick with what you know, which seems to be just a booty call. I'm not judging you, just do what's best and easiest for you! Peace and Love

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  3.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 08 May 09

    To italian_6969, How did the two of you meet? How long had you known her prior to the date? Where did you go? Was this place a mutual agreement, prior to the date? What were your expectations, or did you have any? Was it a really bad date and/or was there not a physical attraction for you? How long did the date last? The one and only bad date that I ever had was when some of the above questions were not discussed prior to the date. He was very attrctive and we both were very pleased in that aspect, but there was no chemistry. He was more country, I was more rock n-roll. I love sports, he didn't. Very nice man, but no chemistry! My idea of a good date is when the man is a gentlemen and you can have a decent, intelligent conversation about anything. He can be gorgeous but if he has little to no communication skills, then I would be bored and his good looks wouldn't matter. You can tell a lot about a man by the way he speaks, especially to women and not just the woman that he happens to be on a date with, but all women. Of course you have to have something in common. Maturity and a Gentlemen is a plus for me!!

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  4. Posted: 07 May 09

    i was on one like this like a month ago man you know its bad when your counting the tiles on the floor and you keep checking your cell to see what time it is:(

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  5.   Barbeeee says:
    Posted: 27 Apr 09

    I have to appreciate some of your honesty Timbo; however your last statements don't ring true at all. Making love to a woman doesn't erase her personality flaws. The moment you get over the fantasy of being with a woman sexually, all of a sudden, her flaws reappear and the reason why you don't want to commit is because of those flaws. Then, that woman walks away feeling used.

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  6.   Timbo649 says:
    Posted: 09 Apr 09

    Well Barbeee, the reason why I say that is because, adimit it, it is a woman's mission in life to get married. And it is a man's mission in life to stay single... and still be able to get laid haha! No seriously, I do not think it is a good idea to make big plans to spend alot of money on a first date off the internet, even if it's dutch, just because you should not invest time and money with someone you dont know yet. She might end up being wierd or a phony bitch or whatever. Worse, she may not ever want to have sex with you. Let's be honest, what a waste of time and money that would be. But if a woman is cool, liberated, nonpretentious, and doesn't resist her natural urge in doing what a man and woman are designed to do together (making love), then all her personality flaws are forgiven, and she actually gains respect in the eyes of the man. When a woman is willing to make love to you without you having to buy her soemthing first, that is the coolest thing. But if she coerces you to buy her dinners and stuff, and she makes you wait for sex just so she can look "respectable", that only earns her disrespect in the long term.

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  7.   Barbeeee says:
    Posted: 09 Apr 09

    I'm adventurous so an activity date sounds like a lot of fun to me. Things like bowling, amusement parks, rock climbing, Dave and Busters, target practice, paintball, skiing, etc would be an ideal first date for me. However, it's very difficult to talk to someone or get to know someone if you're busy doing these things. Timbo649, I would have to disagree with your statements. Dinner after sex sounds a bit fishy to me. Of course, this suits YOUR sexual needs but does little for a woman who wants to get to know you on a deeper level. In order for a woman to determine whether or not she should have sex with a man, she has to talk to him and see if they share a connection and the same interests. It's impossible to do that when you're in the middle of a nonstop activity. Honestly Timbo, it sounds like you want to just hookup for sex for as cheap as possible. You should just be upfront about it and stop trying to pretend you want more. As far as women on here being single because they refuse to go on activity date with you, I think that was an unnecessary low blow. Last time I checked, you are almost 40, single with no children. Obviously, you're in the same boat as the women you are criticizing!! Maybe your attitude is why you are still single. BTW, most people are single for two specific reasons: 1) They haven't met the right person YET!! 2) They are considered "undesirable" in society.

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  8.   Timbo649 says:
    Posted: 08 Apr 09

    Dinner or lunch is the worst first date in the world. Going out to dinner is something you do AFTER sex. This way, the both of you can actually relax and enjoy your meal. Also, a meal with a total stranger right off the bat is not a good bonding experience and typically devolves into a stifled interview rather than a bonding experience. In fact, eating with a stranger is plain wierd. Whoever got to know their best friend by eating with them first and asking them interview questions and trying to impress them with jokes? Nobody. It doesnt work that way. Why would anyone eat dinner or lunch with a total stranger? I think going for a walk or some other cheap activity is the best first date and the best way to get to know anybody. Yet... I've met alot of women on here who REFUSE to go on an activity date, and feel that the best way to get to know a total stranger is over DINNER or LUNCH. And then they wonder why they are still single. haha!

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  9.   Member says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 09

    I agree with the topic here, you convinced me of a few things I was on the fence about.

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  10.   jaden24 says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 08

    well, i guess i am a bit oldschool myself then because i would never even suggest trapshooting for a first date and i grew up with guns looking at a future home? you are still getting to know them... there are other activities to bring out a person's traits and personality

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  11.   mzfishnetz says:
    Posted: 22 Dec 08

    My response is to Solarian. Your response is very honest and sincere and thats cool, but your response is very generational as well. The younger generation is very spontaneous and they don't think the same way. Sometimes it's about fun and the here and now moment. Don't be so serious relax and try and add some spice to it....

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  12.   solarian says:
    Posted: 21 Dec 08

    Some of these suggestions are o.k., it would seem to me. But, really, ne round of competitive trapshooting..." would definitely "turn ne off: it is 100% aggresivity and destroyng". Your (American)idea of a good time and a perfect date? Well, not mine and not MY woman's either. But you're wellcome to it... Secondly, looking at homes for sale. One remark: premature and therefore misleading/cheating - unless you two already have better (more intimate, more personal) things to talk about. And then you don't need any homes, yet. Moreover, quite arrogant and disturbing if such homes are lived in. WHAT a proposal! You need to learnm some manners, I'd say. MY first dates might be about DREAMS, telling each other private dreams. For instance, of course. Or it might be about my own shortcomings (which she does not know but maybe might guess...). No problem to me. It is only the stupid who are unaware of their own failings.

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