He loves her but he is 'not in love' with her?!

Posted by Ria, 30 Jul 12

I was reading Your Tango the other day and I came across this story about a woman dating a man who has never been in a committed relationship for 6 years. Crazy thing is: This woman is soo in love with this dude but the dude rarely says he loves her. He once told her that he loves her but he is not in love with her… apparently the dude doesn’t know what being in love feels like!

These two spend most nights together… dude says he wants them to move in together in the future - not anytime soon though. The thing is, the dude doesn’t know what love feels like, doesn’t want to promise her heaven and disappoint her yet he wants and hopes that the future holds something for them. :roll:

I thought this was rather confusing. Its like this guy wants the woman to stay at the parking lot and wait; like he is hoping the next ride that will come along will be a better one. But in case he runs out of time, he’ll take her.

I must admit I admire the dudes honesty. That I gotta hand it to him. He has laid his cards on table and its high time this chick stops sitting crossing her fingers hoping that one day, in the unknown future, he will be that into her because if he aint that into her now(after one year of dating), is there really a future or is this just another case of a guy not seeing the need to commit just because he is already getting everything any man in a commitment is?

Help me understand this peeps!

4 responses to "He loves her but he is 'not in love' with her?!"

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  1.   Scandiblond says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 12

    WOW..some guys just know the game..play with her feelings..Had one guy on this site who is a surgeon but could not tell the truth..caught him on lies so many times and gave him hints that i knew but did he get the point?? Nooo he just continued ..dating others..going on holidays saying he was going with his parents..had enough so took matter in own hands and contacted his parents who was at home while they was supposed to be in Hawaii with the man who told me he loved me dearly..never would hurt me and bla bla bla.. what did i found out??? the guy is actually married!! erwindouyon..unbelievable..

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  2.   AliciaShaun says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 12

    I myself was in a relationship much like this one. It started off as real love but my womans intuition kicked in and I began to read in between the lines. I agree with leluseven: "Women need to start taking matters into their own hands, stop playing the self-loathing card and stop wasting time!" When a dude is ready to make the move don't be the one waiting. Life goes on and there will be others....know when your out is and take it! You just never know who might be out there waiting on you!

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  3.   leluseven says:
    Posted: 19 Aug 12

    There's nothing to understand. This man wants this woman to stand around and wait while he plays his emotionally unavailable games and this woman is so desperate and self-loathing or both that she isn't willing to walk away from the situation. This woman needs to read "He's Just Not that Into You" and dump the motherfucker already, in the words of my favorite sex and relationship columnist, Mr. Dan Savage. Or maybe just not call him. I'm sure he'd just fade away if she stopped trying so hard to be treated terribly.

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    • bigeyes34 says:
      Posted: 19 Aug 12

      Well said leluseven. I REFUSE to be treated like this. I speak a language that many women don't understand but I mean what say.

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