Posted by Ria, September 23rd 2009

post photo

“I don’t know about chat-up lines but a man once bought me a car. He got a whole lot of thanks for that.”

“I would rather cry in a Crystler than laugh on a bicycle.”

These are the words of two women who have no shame and make no apology for having sexual relations or marrying purely for money. Clearly in their world, love features nowhere in their plans.

We call them gold-diggers, opportunists… I mean why else would some young hottie who could have any young hunk wrapped around her finger choose to become the second wife of some man old enough to be her dad; right?

Many people shy away from speaking truthfully about their intentions for marriage; especially when the real motivation is money. But marrying for money isn’t something new. Look at animals; the females are attracted to males who can protect and provide for them. And when we come to humans, even marriages founded on love are based on the theory of rational choice where parties involved weigh the benefits of their union and make decisions based on what they stand to gain from the marriage.

Fact is; even the rich people in these equations get something in exchange of the luxurious life they offer… great sex, ego boost… Either way, it’s a win-win situation. So why are we so quick to call those marrying for love manipulative?

Due to glaring disparities in society in terms of wealth, how can we expect not to have a considerable number of relationships cemented on money? Let’s face it; we have become a society of impressions and we are ready to do anything to portray a certain image. Men too go for older women so long as it buys them a meal ticket or the kind of lifestyle they can only dream to have.

If you look at it objectively with a mind devoid of emotion and ethics, marrying for money makes a lot of sense. And if both parties benefit from the relationship – which in most cases they do – then to put it bluntly, both are taking advantage of each other – NO LOSERS!

So what is so wrong with ensuring that your marriage gives you financial security? Are those of us doing the finger-pointing, being hypocritical?

Tags: ,

85 Responses to “Gold-diggers or downright realistic?”

  1. homesteader says:

    People tend to date because of Attracton / Timing and how serious the Mood is at that time .

    Together is a Clean shirt , polished shoes and a Friendly Smile .

    I smelled of Diesel fuel because of my job / yet Cleaned up well and dated many who I met along the way of my journeys . Because I asked Nicely ” Would you care to Dine or Dance with me Pretty Ladie ” With a Smile .

    From one Grease monkey to another Noplayer , we men all Clean up good . It may be how we present ourselves in Public as to whether or knot Ladies accept us for who we really are .

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  2. WHURR says:

    PBW and PBM? I got the black male and black female part…what the hell is ‘P’… protestant…philanthropic…philandering….psychopathic…..someone help me!!

    I know the following:
    PBJ..love em
    BMW… drive em
    BPD… My philosophy…. (50% just said HUH?)
    EPMD… read directly above comment
    JFK… if only he lived

    What the hell is PBW and PBM .. I know I am now officially humiliating myself, which I do already everytime I post, but I need to know!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  3. SnazzyBella says:

    PBW= Pretty Black Woman. DUH!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  4. homesteader says:

    Professional / as in ” Truckdriver ” the trade I Retired from – Whurr .

    I will say tho that short forms are B.S. FROM A K.O.T.R.R. [ King of the Road Retired ] to stop confusion .

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  5. SnazzyBella says:

    okay for real mr. slow @whurr

    PBW= professional black woman
    PBM- professional black man

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  6. takinitall says:

    @ Whurr, you are such a big spender! I have never had a man spend less than $5.00 on a date with me. I wouldn’t want you to think I’m a gold digger or anything like that. But the .99cent store is my favorite hang out spot. To answer your question the “P” in PBW and PBM stands for professional. Ok either you’re a 80′s hip hop head and BPD is boogie down productions or you’re super special and BPD is borderline personality disorder. I’ll take boogie down productions for $1. Let’s see how I score on the internet acronym game.

    @ No Player
    OK! Help me understand then. As a PBW, what should one modify to seem less threatening to a man? I apparently can’t get the crap right, but I damn sure can’t play games. Ego is a mother, I tell you. As a woman and a mother, I am forced to rise to any challenge. I can’t sit back and wait for someone else to feed, clothe and house us. The reality is I work hard because I have to. If I found a partner who did not want me to work and he could hold down the fort, I would gladly quit work and stay home.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  7. pumpkin22 says:

    There, there, WHURR,

    They mean “professional black woman” and “professional black man”.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  8. WHURR says:

    @Takintall
    Boogie Down most definitley as I said ‘My Philosophy”. Hence, my EPMD refernce as well.

    As I stated to all the smart-azzes, especially those of you that have been waiting for me to make a blunder, I get it ….ok….I get it…professional…..!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  9. oldschool56 says:

    @Whurr..I guess there has to be one to ruin good blogs. Your responses are good for a laugh I cant see any woman taking you seriously on or offline.

    @takinitall…I like what you have to say. Its true about men thinking their worth is measured by their wallets and then they meet a woman who would enhance their potential (PBW) instead of dragging it down (the sexy,happy-hour, admin assit,intern lol)and want to just pass her by. In todays world where it takes two incomes to stay above water, PBW should be just what he needs.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  10. lizzy2005 says:

    As mentioned by other members women can be higher wage earners than the guy.
    In the past when I used to go out on a date often the conversation would turn to occupation and salary. If the guy was earning less than me he would make some idiotic comment such as that I must feel really lucky to be in my position. Why lucky? I have worked hard to get where I am in my life.
    Anyway to the case in point. There are male gold diggers too. I was married to one. Alas it took me a long time to realise that my trust in my husband was misplaced. He was secrectly withdawing money from my bank account which I thought we were saving for the birth of our daughter. After splitting up I found myself to be thousands of pounds in debt due to loans etc he had taken out in my name.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  11. takinitall says:

    @ oldschool
    Thanks for your respinse. Your screen name says it all. We need to get back to basics and family centered like our grtandparents. Those old school values we have gotten away from has caused so much conflict.

    @ lizzy2005
    Girl I want to hug you. I’m so sorry that you had to go through such crap with your ex. Just make sure the next guy you choose values are in line with yours. After all your baby girl is watching and the man you choose is going to be her model of a man. Stay positive and focused as you have and God will send him to you. I swear some guys are so damn selfish.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  12. NOPLAYER says:

    @ takinitall

    Now don’t get mad at me!

    You asked what could you modify to seem less threating to a man, for starters, how about your login name.

    The name “takingitall” was I’m a gold-digger written all over it! Would you contact a guy whose name was “out2getyours”?

    From many conversation with men about this topic, they say that too many PBW come off as arrogant and they give off the, “who needs a man” vibe.

    Could they be mistaking self-confidence for arrogance, possibly?

    Issues of confidence and self-esteem are issues that men will have to work out for themselves and there’s nothing you can do for them.

    You would be surprised how direct eye contact and a sexy smile will break the ice but it all falls back on him and his level of self-confidence.

    I trully believe when you’re a humble man and you can appreciate God’s gifts in a women, you’re not intimidated by those gifts and you can appreciate them as she can appreciate yours.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 1 (-1)

  13. oldschool56 says:

    @Noplayer
    So I guess we are supposed to think you arent a player just because of your screen name? LOLOL. Maybe you read “gold digger” in Takingitall’s screen name but I think you are wrong. Online a screen name does not represent who you are. The bottom line is men have issues with women who are capable of being aggressive in the workplace. A PBW is not arrogant. Men would not say that about a another man who is professional. But a woman is supposed to be demure and gentle and shy, all that things that kept us in the background for centuries. Look its 2009, get over it. I agree with you that some humility is needed to appreciate one another. God gave women gifts for man to apprciate as well as gifts to men for women to appreciate. Is the fact that you are on a dating site with no pic and probably no information about yourself called being humble?

    There is nothing wrong with you Takin..stay just like you are. There are men out there who have not got issues with professional women. Unfortunately they are few and far between but they are out there. Do not settle for less than what you want in a man and if he cant handle it because of his self esteem and confidence issues oh well!!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  14. takinitall says:

    @oldschool56
    Thanks! I will continue to strive for excellence like yourself.

    @ Noplayer
    I’m not hardly mad at you. I allways respect your opinion even if we don’t agree. My screen name may send the message of gold digger to some and I’m ok with that. Those who view it as gold diggerish may not feel that way if I was unattractive or if they actually corresponded with me. To be honest I am rather cocky and aware of it. I feel that I want a man who is strong enough to tame me and secure enough to step to me. My pride is often mis interpreted as arrogance, but I can’t change how other people view me. I am tankful for everything I have in life and refuse to take less from a potential mate. My screen name simply means I am taking all (100%)from my partner and nothing less. I’m actually glad you said gold digger, cause most of the guys here have thought sexual!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  15. takinitall says:

    @ Noplayer
    I forgot to answer your question. Yes I would communicate with a guy whose screen name is out to get yours to find out what it means. In fact take Whurr for example, looking at his screen name and pics you would not know how educated and accomplished he is unless you correspond with him. I remember when I was new to this site and he and I chatted. Turns out we are both educational consultants. So my point is, besides being a cute smart ass, he’s actually very smart. Plus his swagger is vicious! Even you, we both enjoy blogging on various topics and you are like the long distance big brother I never had.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  16. NOPLAYER says:

    @ oldschool56 – it’s true that alot of men (not all)have issues with professional women. To be on top of our game and confident is a positive thing, while arrogance and aggressiveness is not.

    I cant say what other men will or wont say about another professional man but I’ll call a spade, a spade. If your an arrogant and cocky asshole, I’ll call you just that!

    You said, “look its 2009, get over it!” What’s there to get over? I’ve never had an issue with women excelling in the work place or bringing home more money for that matter!

    If my wife bringing in more bread allows me to go and buy more bacon, not a problem I’ll be more than glad to fry it up!

    As far as my humility and my picture not being posted. I had my picture and profile removed after being contacted by one too many either crazy women or scammers. It didn’t seem to matter that my profile stated I was married and that I wasn’t looking for nothing, so I requested that it be removed.

    And your point is?????????????

    Those who’ve been here for a while know I’m married and I’m not looking for anybody to hook up with. I just enjoy blogging about IR dating/marriage topics because I can relate to most of the topics.

    My screen name comes from my lack of “GAME”, my inability to smooth talk women or to be a “PLAYER”, the guys gave my that name years ago. LOL

    Being that I’m 38, married w/children, got bills to pay and things to make happen, I aint got the time nor the desire to “PLAY”. My screen name desrcibes me correctly at this age and stage in my life!

    oldschool56, I’m with cha, no arguement here!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  17. lizzy2005 says:

    @takinitall
    Thanks for your kind words:)
    I split with my ex a number of years ago. When our daughter was a baby. I did learn my lesson. He didn’t break me lol. He ended up paying up a good deal of the money back after I had sought legal advice.
    As for dating. Its cool. Yes I would like to meet someone nice, but not at the risk of my children.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  18. oldschool56 says:

    @takinitall
    LOL unless you have actually seen Whurr’s accomplishments or some kind of degree…you still have no idea how educated and accomplished he really is. Its an intelligent one that can con others into believing something that isnt fact. Thats one of the things about being online, you never know..THE TRUTH! Sadly those of us (you included)who are real, even online become casualties of the idiots who arent. See Im an educational consultant myself…(See how easy that is?). Anyway it is fun to blog about things and you do hope you find at least one or two people who actually type with some intelligence.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  19. whurr says:

    @OldSchool56

    You my official cyberstalker!

    I have noticed that you post comments to me now that are not connected to you whatsoever!

    This blog isn’t reality baby… get over it when someone says something negative about you!

    I find it amazing that you make a comment on any blog where I commented. The comments have nothing do with you, except for the one where I made statements about you.

    You are now my official ‘cyber-stalker’.

    I think its cute! Keep it up!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  20. deewhizz says:

    **WARNING LONG POST MAY REQUIRE COFFEE 2 FINISH**

    I considered marrying 4 money in my 20′s to a millionaire(which was a lot bk then in the olden days haha)who was 10yrs older and whose biological clock was going off like crazy.

    I knew I wasn’t in love w/ him, but he was wild about me and hadn’t even considered maybe a pre-nup to protect his assets.
    I was kind of dealing w/ it at first because his emotions almost made up 4 the lack of mine and it was soooo tempting.
    I lived in NY and he was flying me bk and forth to his place in SF CA at a moments notice.

    As cynical NY’ers, ridiculing Californians was a hobby of ours especially since they would always fly out and provide fresh material:) We had more respect for the Northern Cali folx but he was originally from Venice Beach so boy was he fair game.
    So my friends and I had already had a gooood laugh about there was no way he would be stupid enough to fall headlong into a long distance relationship and b tlking marriage when the courier showed up with the itinerary and tix. Things got quiet then:)

    My more cynical friends scoffed at my whining about not being “in love”.
    “So what? Just deal w/ it, you don’t have 2 work anymore and when it goes bad u get half.”

    In the end I couldn’t do it.
    I had moved to CA and was actually getting physically ill from my ambivalence and broke it off.

    He did not take it well at all because we were engaged, which in retrospect I regret agreeing to.
    He wouldn’t speak to me and had someone else drive me to the airport.

    But I’m soooo glad I didn’t do it. I never want to depend on a man 4 money even if its my spouse.
    My spouse and I who are both from working class families were in an earnings competition(the winner gets to further their career and the loser does EVERYTHING else LOL)
    and we were neck and neck working crazy OT and both going 2 school when he sucker punched me w/ an MBA which frankly I didn’t think much of until he doubled his salary.

    But he is fully aware of the six figures I agreed to give up and career on hold until our children are in school and mentions it.

    I had a talk w/ a teen neighbor about thinking she was going to get by on her looks. She does.
    She told me as much and then explained she wanted to live “an exciting life like mine.”

    Which is a great plan except looks are fleeting and if you have nothing behind that facade you are easily replaced.

    I then went on to explain how the manufacturing base disappeared a while bk so if she doesn’t have a sugar daddy she’ll be, I don’t know working the midnight drive-thru at Wendy’s. I’m not even sure, she might even need a HS diploma to even do that.

    I was quite the geek as a kid I got shipped 2 a prep school on scholarship(the good academic kind where if your grades slip so do you right out the door) and graduated at 16 so I have zero patience for that attitude.
    I had soooo much pressure on me at her age (classical piano competitions 2,why not I wasn’t doing anything I can knock out a hour a day of practice and lessons from a taskmaster on Saturdays suuuure!)
    and this girl thinks it’s ok to drop out of HS!!

    Her cute face was very pale when she left but her dad is a single parent, I had 2 give her some straight girl talk.
    “Now get yourself an education and a life! bye sweetie!” :)

    On the plus side her last report card was all A’s and a B instead of her usual pathetic D’s.
    I knew she was just being lazy:)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  21. homesteader says:

    takinitall – means the Good as well as the bad in my thoughts .

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  22. zzz says:

    PBW’s it as nothing to do with inferiority or money JEEEZUZ! The law of the universe plays true in dating/relationships opposites attract. Reason – As a PBM, or I’d like to say PM (cuz race really doesn’t matter it’s just a crutch to validate ones point of view in life.) When I’ve worked all week and I go out on a date with a lady, which I’m a southern gent – so I pay, that’s how I was raised. I want to be with someone who will stroke my ego a little bit, seduces me with her eyes, and tells me I’m sexy or likes some quality about me, and I compliment her and make her laugh, and why shouldn’t I want that? I worked hard, pay my dues; so why wouldn’t I want to be with somone that captures my attention – stirs my passions. I feel in that respect she getting to know me, not my title, or my salary, basically she’s taking the stress away. Most men especially PM fall for women like that. I hate to say this, but most PW can’t do this, when I go out on a date I leave the “P” at work and become a guy. PW never take “P” off and just be a lady or a fun loving gal. Why? cuz PW and PM are the same. At the end of the week a PW wants to go out on date with somone that stokes their ego, just like a PM. And why not? She’s worked as hard as I have; so she too should get what she wants. The friction when a PM and PW go on a date is this – He wants to chill, cut loose, and enjoy the present, she looking for the right mate; so she’s constantly trying to see what his values are, never or rarely compliments the guy about him, and is always asking him questions about career/work – goals, and to the PM It feels like their at a job interview, not a date. And like I said earlier, PW like their egos stroked too. They don’t want to be complimented so much about their beauty, but they like to be complimented as “professional” women – their wit, knowledge. If you want to make’em happy just let take charge. For PM, this equals no “fun”. If I were to marry a PW, I would see it as a job, not an adventure in growing together. That’s both parties date and marry people of less (This could be income, intellect, social status). Because men and women who are “professional”, feel like we have a degree of power and control. We just wield it in different ways.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  23. NOPLAYER says:

    @zzz – Great incite! Some of the things that you mention about leaving the Professional at work and just being a person on a date does cause alot of problems in relationships between PM and PW.

    I think it comes down to balance and today alot of people lack that, I tell people all the time, ” you should work to live and not live to work!”

    I’ve dated a few PW and it didn’t work out too well because they always acted as if they had something to prove. I don’t know if this behavior came from working in a highly competetive invironment were they always had to prove their compentency to someone, it’s like they didn’t know how to turn “The Professional” and turn on “The Woman” once we were together.

    It didn’t feel like romatic one on one, it felt like a game of basketball, hell men play ball to releive stress and exercise that competetive edge and that kind of activity just has no place in a romatic relationship.

    zzz I feel ya!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  24. WHURR says:

    If I only I had the $$$, so I could have my own gold-digger.

    SIGHHHHH

    Let me go back to cutting out the Buy1Get1Free Filet-O-Fish coupon!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  25. takinitall says:

    @ zzz
    First off I would like to welcome you. Now your post has some validity, but I would have to disagree with most of it. I personally do not know one PW who wouldn’t trade her career for a stable family life. The problem is there are very few men who a woman is willing to trust her life with. Women are very emotional, unfortunately we get so into our work to compensate for not having a partner to direct our attention to. Every woman wants to be complimented on her beauty and have her ego stroked regardless of her level. However, PW are more into substance rather than looks. At what point do you set your ego on the shelf, and dig deeper. You can chill with your boys, I hate to break it to you, but women date looking for compatibility. Even women who try to appeal to men who want to chill and say they don’t want something serious, eventually catches feelings. Ones financial status does not make them superior, no one should worship any one except God.

    @ Deewhiz
    Great post. You are the perfect example of a PBW. Many of us are willing to put our careers on hold to have our family life. Your mentorship to that young lady apparently opened her eyes before it was too late. Thank God she had you, before she ended in destruction.

    @ Homesteader :)

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  26. deewhizz says:

    @takinitall;

    U strike me as a beautiful and intelligent woman(of color too but shh folx r getting sensitive about race lately LOL)

    Thanks for, oh I don’t know just existing? :)

    Sometimes I feel as though its a dying breed and that’s why some men behave as they do towards women, they simply haven’t dealt with a reaaalll woman b4!

    I think that was why I was SO frustrated with my teen neighbor’s outlook. I mean I really dropped the sugar coating w/ her.
    She’s caucasian but it doesn’t matter, I couldn’t let her go on this way w/out speaking my mind it seems no one else in her life has taken the time :(

    It became clear right away that she simply does not have a model of a confident woman in her life who is attractive but does not rely on that. She had not been exposed (enough at least!)to a woman such as you or I and as a result her world view was sooo limited she sent me into panic mode as she was talking.
    (I only have toddlers but I’ve found the secret of connecting w/ teens. Be available, make small talk and let them broach real convo. Then drop the knowledge on ‘em strike while the iron is hot! BUT u have stick 2 the facts and don’t moralize or lecture. If u do the eyes glaze over and they go to a better place even though they appear to be looking right at u but I’m very observant haha)

    And these yrs are soo crucial 4 her(OMG she’s sexually active now but that’s another story girl!)

    Guys, How is “your” money ever going to be worth as much as “our” money or best of all “my” money?

    Speaking personally I was never a gold-digger, because I have a lot of my pride and self-esteem wrapped up in my earning ability amongst other more feminine pursuits LOL
    I’m just made that way.

    HOWEVER, there is a terrible irony to this. From afar, I’m sure someone could have observed me on a number of occasions and thought “gold-digger” to themselves because;

    People give me things.

    They always have.

    I try to give to others w/out being asked and I believe these continuous acts of unprompted kindness magnify and come back to me. I can’t prove this but since I believe it, I open doors 4 folx, thank vets, donate to charity help elderly people etc because its the right thing 2 do and also I don’t my good fortune to stop!

    My spouse noticed this upon entering what I call my “interior” life. You know, someone who you are so close with they r there when you get your car serviced, pick up dry cleaning, order a drink at a bar etc.

    He says I constantly get preferential treatment(that was not offered to him in the same situations when alone) and by extension so does he. Strangely this applies to both genders.
    He refers to this phenomenon as the “PGD” (pretty girl discount)

    Romantically I don’t ask, but suitors even male friends have always spent a lot of money on me, being with me, etc. It was reciprocated but for some reason I think always initiated by them I don’t know why I’ve nver taken the time to think about it..

    I believe they do it because when they encounter me its clear that I live a certain lifestyle and in order to meet me at my level or even better impress me, dollars must be spent.

    So they do so without complaint.
    Its unspoken but I guess expected as part of the courtship and standing out as a suitor when you know a woman has her choice of partners.

    What’s not fair about life is, while I was usually treated this way it was never reallly necessary because I had my own. When u don’t need it, people want to offer it! :)

    Once there is a relationship, I have no problems spending on my honey but I must say I usually get the type who seem to need little more than me as a partner because they have already met their material needs.
    So when I have tried to reciprocate financially in a tit-for-tat way they never really seemed impressed by it so I gave up.

    I think it would have 2 be something SERIOUS like a Porsche. And until I get my Cayenne Turbo I won’t be handing those out:)

    So I guess my point is $$$ isn’t everything? I’m not even sure, just reflecting LOL…

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  27. homesteader says:

    U.P.S.
    delivered my new Harley-Davidson catalog while sitting on the Deck talking to neighbors the other day .

    They got this Pretty FLHTCUTG Tri Glide Ultra Classic 2010 model / Mirage Orange Pearl for Maximum Visability and Vanessa says she will be Proud to ride behind me .

    One good Dream deserves another , Hehe / see y’all in-the-Wind

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  28. NOPLAYER says:

    takinitall – I agree with you whole heartedly! I understand the fustration of women, I really do. I know many women who would love to be homemakers instead of dealing with these crazy folks on a job and all the B.S. that comes with it.

    I’m sure most men would love for their wives to be able to stay at home but in today’s economy you need two incomes to have a comfortable standard of living.

    @ Deewhizz – as a man that’s always worked a job and kept money, I’ve never been stingy. When I would meet a nice lady with a good heart and a loving soul, money was never an issue when it came time to go out.

    It’s something about a confident woman with a loving spirit that attracts the kindness of men. I can pick up on a woman’s vibes and if the vibes are positive, I have no problem being gracious and giving.

    I think you understand the principle of GIVING more of the thing that you WANT and it’s seems to be working for you.

    Deewhizz go and teach what you know to as many people as you can!

    Peace!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  29. takinitall says:

    @ Deewhiz
    Thank you as well for the kind words. I would kill for the opportunity to stay home with my little ones. I swear I feel horrible when I have to tell my 5 year old, I can’t go on her field trip or sit in her class because I have to work. Even when we go on vacations it’s work. I even put them to work (of course that’s quality time for us), I swear my son is going to be typing 75wpm, before he turns 10. But I assure them that I love them and I have to work to take care of us. I also want them to have a strong work ethic so they don’t think anyone owes them anything. Being a PBW has it’s pros and cons, financially I got this, but emotionally I’m dying inside.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  30. RAYNEDELAY says:

    Both sexes use each other. That’s why it’s important to vet someone. Take your time and get to know them. I want someone who is financially stable yes but I have to love that person too.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  31. canadiangc says:

    So from the article I get that the men took care of the females financially in return for sex.

    Nothing wrong with that, it seems they both are getting what they are looking for.

    From my own experience most females eventually prefer men who are financially stable. No sense having financial stress ruin a good relationship.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  32. Hoyt Tyra says:

    I am new to blogging, so I feel like I am in the “just taking notes” phase. But when I do find a blog topic I like, I do comment because I genuinely like what has been said or the information was helpful to me. I am officially linked to your blog now, so I will be checking in often! Thanks for all the great advice.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  33. maxhb says:

    I definitely would prefer a woman who is financically secure and generous. I wouldnt base my choice on her bank account but if I were attracted it would be nice. So when a woman makes money part of criteria I dont criticize. Give me a rich woman over a poor one any day.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  34. Jenna says:

    @ Whurr
    I am not gonna deny, reading your posts cracks me up lol! You are so right! Life is to be enjoyed, live love and laugh!
    May the blessings be!

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

  35. Datalley says:

    I am a professional man that makes a good living. I have no problem with a professional black woman. Arrogance or bad attitude can come from a PBW, PWW or a BBW(Broke), WBW(BROKE). What I do not like is a woman who is out to see how much money she can get from a man or how much stuff he can buy for her. My opinion is that it is another form of prostitution. Prostitution: “is the act or practice of providing sexual services to another person in return for payment.” It can be manipulated how you want but it is what it is.

    I am not cheap by a long shot. I will do more for a woman who I believe is caring, there for me, warm and is a true friend. This is the type of woman you can trust and depend on. Someone who is there for the money will typically be gone when the money is gone. If a guy or a woman chooses to stay with someone or be with someone who treats them a particular way…..it is no ones fault but your own. Therefore, don’t complain when you already know how is and will be.

    I prefer a woman who comes to the table with something equal. We are not talking about sex because that is not hard to get. I am talking substance, goals, intelligence and true independence. We compliment each other. We don’t suck the life out each other.

    If one chooses to be in a certain relationship where someone totally takes advantage of them than that is their life. It is just not for me. I have a little more respect for myself than that.

    Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0 (0)

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.