Find Out Later
I was sitting around with some girlfriends the other day talking about guys as we do ;)
We got around to talking about dating sites and the kinds of things guys put in their profiles. One thing we ALL hate is a whole lot of "find out laters" Guys, seriously! If you want to gain our interest then you need to put in a little effort, I mean you are competing with a whole heap of other guys and you need to stand out! So, based on mutual agreement between me and my gal pals here's some advice for you
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Do not upload a photo that is more than 2 years old, we don't need to know what you looked like when you HAD hair
Do not have "find out later" in your profile anywhere. Hey, if you want us to find out later whether you smoke or not then you go on our later list! Our much, much later list!
Do be honest about yourself. Surely you know we women have a 6th sense for that?
Do send us a personalized message telling us exactly WHY you are interested! We can spot a cut and paste email a mile away LOL
Oh and another thing! One of my favourite comments I've seen on a profile was "I am looking for someone just like me" hmmm....Ok so you're looking for a middle aged, balding guy????? ;)
Now guys to be fair, let's hear what you would like to see on our profiles and why! I mean what's good for the goose......
Tags: Online Dating, creating profiles
Responses to "Find Out Later"
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Bellara says:Posted: 01 Dec 09
its ok to put "find out later" in sections such as are u willing to relocate (because those are decisions that could change depending on the connection you have with the person u are talking to). sections like do you have/want children, do you drink/smoke, religion/height should be filled out. i love surprises only when they come as gifts, not as a shock. in general, find out later is quite annoying especially if it has to do with a personal question. am sure nobody wants to find out later that you have one-leg, heavy, have a child(ren) or things like that.
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BrownB09 says:Posted: 07 Apr 09Well said fkoi,If I see find out later more than two or three times depending on the subject, I just keep going, especially Iif there's no picture!
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fkoi says:Posted: 07 Apr 09My reaction to "Find Out Later" is not that the author is hiding something. But then I may be naive. When there are only one or two, I know that the choices are limited and selecting the one that most closely describes me can be less than satisfying and assume that is true for others as well. When all but one or two choices are not defined, there is nothing there to work with. I make any kind of a decision about possible compatibility when nothing is revealed. If I have to base my interest in a woman based strictly on how she looks, that just isn't enough info. I can understand that some, especially women, are a little timid about revealing too much about themselves and even hesitant to post revealing pictures. It can be uncomfortable and even dangerous, sad to say. On the other hand, this is ostensibly a dating site. It involves taking chances and putting myself out there, at least in my case, in pursuit of a long term relationship. Anything less than that is unfair to both parties, unless one or the other is not being honest in their reason for being here. I have plenty more to say about this topic, but for the rest you'll just have to Find Out Later
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girlsixdiva says:Posted: 03 Sep 08To me, there are certain categories that should not have a "find out later" next to them because that is giving me the impression that you are hiding something. Important info such as your marital status, if you have children, and if you smoke should not have a "find out later" next to them. Just tell the truth up front to avoid disappointment later.
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j_castaway says:Posted: 09 Oct 07At first, a response to fala: Indeed, I’m not a true fan of those “Find out Later᾿’s myself. However, you state “Do not have "find out later" in your profile anywhere.᾿ (do you smell the copy and paste?). I put a little effort into the composure of my profile, yet still, I do have a couple of “Find out Later᾿’s employed (and they will remain there, unless you would be so kind to advise me how to select another one of limited choices, without compromising the truth.) I’m performing job activities (I really do work), that require variations with regards to time attendance, depending on a particular development stage of an ongoing project. At sometimes, “I keep a standard 40-hour work᾿, at other times, “I always put in overtime᾿, and yet at another time, “I should have a bed in my office᾿. And at even other times, I might work less then 40 hours a week. Now, shell I confine myself to a particular, preprogrammed answer that’s maybe true at the time, yet situations can change sooner or later significantly? Would I be willing to relocate? Currently, I’m not interested in doing so. Does that mean I can’t change my mind in this regard because particular (enticing) circumstances create a desire to relocate? If I choose one of the predefined answers, such as “I am not prepared to relocate᾿, I will perhaps eliminate some potential opportunities. If I mark “I would relocate anywhere in the world᾿ and I’m getting approached with a real request to come true with this, but circumstances of what so ever kind do not support such a move at a given time, shell I say “it’s just to bad Honey, I was just a little bit careless with my answers. So, deal with it!᾿? I do most certainly prefer not do nail my self down with regards to particular issues. Rather, I discuss possible options or constrains at a personal level. Thus, no lie is employed, and no unnecessary disappointment is caused. Anyway, I’m open towards some useful and/or meaningful suggestions. In a second aspect, my compliments to laugh sailor. He seems to be a cool guy. A real Pro. Maybe a little hint, if permitted. To the best of my knowledge, the WEB does provide Strip and/or Porn sides. Perhaps he feels more entertained there. Otherwise, good luck and plenty of fun with your searches!
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mossimo says:Posted: 08 Oct 07I have encountered a few of those things myself sailor. Sad to see a find out later from anyone in any way shape or form.
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laugh_sailor says:Posted: 07 Oct 07
Thanks for the sound advice, all - Here's some in return: I have found that women's pictures are generally quite carefully chosen. There is a type of woman that hides her physical attributes on her profile. As a guy, this is really obvious and I'm left wondering about what the rest of her looks like - Usually not in an intrigued way but in a "What's so bad that she doesn't want it in the picture?" way. I'm almost always right about my guess and I'd say most guys are fairly good at seeing through this, as well. This becomes more of a problem when the woman refuses to let me see how she looks and still wants to meet me because she is trying to prevent me from making a decision on her looks. (Face up to it: Chemistry really does matter.) That does two things: It damages her ego and forces the decision to be made (1) By me, negatively, before I see her (When there's a chance I would like her), because she's not being forthright. Or (2) By me, negatively, in person, when that decision could have been made originally on viewing her profile. This personal rejection can be completely avoided. Not showing how you really look is the same as the "Find Out Laters." It's best to make sorting decisions as early as possible, to avoid wasting each others' time on a fruitless search. I also get in touch with women I am interested in as friends and am happy I have found some on this site. If someone's going to like you as you look, seeing that in your pictures is a good thing. If they don't like how you look, use your pictures to sort them away from you, so the quality of man contacting you is that much higher. I try to be generous in looking at profiles with concealing pictures but often am not and I suspect many guys aren't as forgiving as I. Here are some common photographic tricks women use that don't fool me and I suspect, many guys: (1) Wearing concealing, black or baggy clothes. (2) Hiding whatever you don't want seen behind something or someone. (3) Cropping whatever you don't want seen out of the shot. (4) Teeny tiny, grainy or blurred pictures. (5) Big picture but you're too small to see what you look like. Lastly, I can't stress enough the importance of having a professional photographer take your shots - And not in a drab setting but doing things you love! My new shots are from taking a photographer sailing and the results are truly amazing! Best wishes, everyone!
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TriChique says:Posted: 06 Oct 07I agree with you. With being online the idea to hopefully eliminate a lot of the junk. If i see a list of Find out Later's on a profile I move on to the next one.
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kana1003 says:Posted: 01 Oct 07
It was so funny to read just what I was thinking. But I have to be honest because when I first signed up I had "Find Out Later"'s on my profile also. As time went on, I made it more specific. Particularly because of the responses I was getting. Now my latest pet peeve is why a person would not include a public photo with their profile. There's so much creativity with nicknames....
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cocokisses says:Posted: 28 Sep 07Find out later to me means that they don't care enough to tell anything about themselves. Those profiles are easy. You simply say NEXT!
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mossimo says:Posted: 27 Sep 07
U silly Fala....I notice you have none of those on your profile!! ;)
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CleverChaos says:Posted: 27 Sep 07
hmmm.."find out later" to me means they're hiding something, or just plain lazy.
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mossimo says:Posted: 26 Sep 07
Find out later what I have to say about this topic. I am looking for a comment just like mine.
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I find the folx here pretty honest about what they want. I appreciate your honesty even when u boyz r disgusted w/ my situation:) (yeh I'm still married, I know booo!!) My "find out later" is education, because on paper w/out the insane bkstory which is personal it wouldn't make sense in comparison to my salary :) UNLESS listed my full resume and experience which I wouldn't do here LOL. maybe linkedin :)