“We’ve created this site to publicly reflect the changing face of the American family. According to the 2008 census, 15% of new marriages are interracial. And yet, it still feels rare to see something like the Cheerios ad represented in mainstream culture.

If you’re in an interracial marriage, or family, please feel free to email us your photo for the site. Please include first names, from left to right, and the city in which you live.”

Are you the 15 percent! Kindly join Murphy and other interracial families in this campaign. Visit the site and let the world see the true face of American families. Thanks y’all!

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You have a slightly higher chance of marital satisfaction and of staying together. This is according to a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science.

The study found that between the year 2005 and 2012, 1/3 (35%) of married couples met online. This great percentage of online hookups that translate into marriage were astonishing even to Neil Clark Warren, the CEO and Founder of eHarmony; the company that commissioned the survey. Warren’s aim was “…to see generally how much people were using the Internet to explore the possibility of their getting married and getting matched to someone.”

Since people have been wondering whether marriages of couples who meet online work, we are pleased to announce that YES!!! They do!! As per the survey, the divorce and separation rates for those that met online was at 5.96% against those who met offline at 7.67%. As in much as its a minute difference, I am sure most people expected the numbers to be much higher for our online couples.

As Warren puts it, dating sites provide “a pool of possibilities to date and eventually marry that’s much much larger than you can assemble on your own.”

How about that!!! Kudos to our online marriages. I am sure those of us who had doubts can see for themselves that online dating works… it produces successful, satisfactory marriages… ITS REAL!!! So people, get online and explore this pool of possibilities. You could be our next success story.

The U.S. Sen. John McCain of Arizona and his wife Cindy had an addition to their family when their son Jack McCain married Renee Swift in a wedding ceremony held at San Francisco’s Grace Cathedral on Saturday night. Jack, 27, met his wife Swift, 29, in Guam where he serves as a lieutenant in the Navy and a helicopter pilot. Swift is a captain in the USAF reserve.

Christelyn Karazin of Beyond Black & White hailed the couple for finding “a love deep enough to commit their lives to each other… despite the politics of racism“ which has been a target of the McCain family for years – especially when they adopted their darker skinned daughter Bridget from Bangladesh and racists used this adoption to disgrace his presidential bid back in 2008. And for her, she sees this interracial high-profile marriage as a great thing for black women. In her article she says:

Black women are OFFICIALLY on the radar for viable mates, worthy of marriage, provision and protection, by men other than black… Mark my words, friends. The next half-decade to come is going to look VERY, VERY different for black women, and I mean that is a good way. Our stock is rising in the circles of the rich, powerful, and influential–too bad it had to rise outside of the black community, who basically tells many of us that we’re ugly and worthless.

Funny thing is one woman had trouble with Christelyn’s reference of black women as “viable mates” saying:

… Black women have ALWAYS been viable mates and we don’t need white men or men of any other race to validate that. Although I am open to dating interracially myself, I just feel sometimes like interracial blogs make it seem as if dating non-black men somehow proves or validates that black women are attractive. That is never said outright but statements such as the ones made above about us now being “officially” perceived as worthy mates makes it seem that way…

Do you agree with the above sentiments? Do you feel it’s wrong to hail Black women who are marrying well or interracially for that matter? Your thoughts?

If you happen to be in an area dominated by Asian people, it will be helpful to learn their culture, and if possible, their language. It’s a show of respect and an expression of genuine interest. Hang out at Asian coffee shops and study or read.  Ask about food items and try new things.  Once you become a regular (which can be tricky because it involves more than just showing up all the time), then you can start to banter and flirt with the other regulars.

But tread lightly and have some reserve. American men are often stereotyped as aggressive, which isn’t necessarily a plus. That rule goes for both online and offline interaction.

American-born Asian women are more familiar and open to interracial dating, but that doesn’t mean you’ll have to skip learning about her culture. If she is the product of first or second-generation Asian parents, chances are she’ll be more of a “hybrid,” and have one foot in her parent’s culture and the other more American. You’ll be able to bond over your common nationality while learning something new about her ancestry. Things might get a little tricky if the relationship gets more serious and you have your, “Guess Who’s Coming Dinner Moment,” and meet her parents.  If you’ve been invited into her parent’s home, it is proper etiquette to bring a gift.  Never go empty-handed.  Depending on how traditional her parents are, you might expect some apprehensiveness at first. This is when your research and new knowledge about her culture will come in handy.

When you do get that date, bring her into your world.  Don’t take a Chinese girl out to some dive with Chinese take out.  It might be your favorite, but she’s going to call your bluff on PF Chang’s and think you’re ignorant—and she’ll be right. Also, don’t be afraid to dive into her world–that’s half the fun.  Love Chinese food?  Ask her to take you somewhere traditional and order something you’d NEVER try on your own.  I’ll never forget going out with a Cambodian girl and eating a fertilized bird’s egg.  Not my favorite, but an unforgettable experience nonetheless.

Bringing back this advice post full circle, the most important thing about dating Asian women is to actually see them as individuals, not part of some collective you have a fetish for. This goes especially for online contact or phone texting. Don’t ever start a sentence with “I hear you Asian chicks like…”, “Or I’ve always wondered why they say Asian women do xyx…” Every woman, regardless of her race, wants to feel special as an individual, not just a cog in the machine.

Well, not to a bunch of Americans who blocked out the educational aspect and the sweet humor incorporated in the ad and only saw an interracial couple and their mixed race kid and went ballistic. As in how does seeing a sweet kid asking a her mother if Cheerios are good for the heart turn into a torrent of racial abuse and hate speech comments just because some people thought “Crap! Did they just feature an interracial family?”

The thing is: the video makes no reference to the interracial family. However some users said the interracial couple made them “want to vomit” … some found them “disgusting.” What I don’t understand to this moment is how this ad caused such a wave of racial backlash that included racist references to Nazis and “troglodytes” and “racial genocide.” This resulted in the comment section of the video being shut down.

Have some people been in a comma for decades? There are thousands of interracial couples these days and to think that some people can be so in denial – living like interracial couples are fictional beings? Wake up people. ITS 2013!!!! As in what kind of image are such people trying to portray? That nothing has changed since the 1960s? We are a melting point for crying out loud.

Good thing is: Most of the comments were positive, hailing the inclusion of interracial families in the media as a step in the right direction.

One woman posted on Facebook saying: “Having been mixed in the ‘70s, I’d like to thank everyone at Cheerios for making a commercial with an interracial couple. Going to buy boxes today! Many thanks for reflecting what my family looked like.” Another one wrote, “Just watched your commercial with the biracial family. Beautiful. Thank you so much.”

“Consumers have responded positively to our new Cheerios ad,” said Cheerios Vice President of Marketing Camille Gibson. “At Cheerios, we know there are many kinds of families and we celebrate them all.”

Don’t you think its high time some people dropped the backwards mindset? The ad simply portrayed America’s true colors. Have a watch and let us know what you think.

Those were the words of a four-year-old black kid who has been adopted by a white parents. Imagine the shock and excruciating pain the mother felt when she was bombarded with the question!

“Well I don’t like brown skin. I don’t want it,” he continued.

“What kind of skin do you want?” the mother asked.

To which he answered: “Skin like yours.”

No parent would ever want their kids to feel this way. And most parents of mixed race kids and interracial adoptions dread tackling the issues of color. But the way you answer this question, no matter how young the children are, will determine how they deal with the identity issue for the rest of their lives.

What would you do when you realize your kid is not comfortable in his or her own skin? How would you deal with this painful question of confusion?

Woman 2: “That bastard!!!”

It’s always the man’s fault! It has to be. That is pretty much how the conversation between women goes when one of them is going through a divorce!

In most cases, without even trying to find out what might have happened to a particular marriage, we automatically pin it all on the husband forgetting that women make mistakes too. And most of these mistakes are made over a long period of time to the extent that some husbands just wakes up one day and decide; Enough is enough! To hell with this marriage. I AM DONE!!!

Teresa Atkin who works with couples and individuals who have gone through the divorce or break up experience says that there are certain common mistakes that keep coming up; that are common to most relationships. She calls them “six marriage mistakes that can easily lead to divorce”. The thing is, these mistakes are mistakes made by women without even us realizing that we are actually screwing up our relationships. And these mistakes can easily be avoided if we consciously make the effort to. In the article, Atkin not only talks about them but she also gives simple solutions to avoid these common mistakes. So next time your girl tells you she is going through a bad break up, chances are, she also had an input.

There is no better way to put it so am just gonna copy paste:

1. You talk to friends about the rotten thing you think your husband did to you. Research suggests that friends are often more upset when they think their bestie is being mistreated than when they’re experiencing the same mistreatment themselves. Besides, most of us don’t really understand how our conditioning and wiring as women differs from our husbands’ conditioning and wiring as men. That’s why conversations about men with female friends often lead to husband-bashing that helps nobody. The solution is to limit talking about your marital problems to just two people: For example, a trusted friend along with a coach or therapist.

2. You think that talking about these problems with your husband is the answer. All too often, women think that talking to our husbands is the way to make them see how their behavior affects us. If the behavior doesn’t change when we first bring it up, we want to talk more, longer, or louder because we think maybe they didn’t get it the first time. One of the biggest pet peeves for men is that feeling of being nagged or badgered, especially if they don’t know what the problem really is. Also, the rules of polite, kind, nice conversation that women try to follow often come off as indirect, manipulative and mysterious to men. Women often conclude that their husbands don’t care because they haven’t changed after a particular conversation. The solution: learn communication skills designed specifically to talk with men and spend more time doing fun activities.

3. You believe that your happiness depends on your husband changing. Research has shown that happiness does increase when your husband changes for the better, but that change originates with you. Paradoxically, the women who focused on becoming the person they want to be, rather than on how to get their husband to change, were happier down the road. The solution: Keep Reading

He was a prisoner at the German prisoners of war camp in Arizona. She was a military nurse there. This is where Elinor Powell Albert (African American) met his husband Frederick Albert (White German) in 1944. The Army at the time didn’t want to recruit black nurses and the relatively few who managed to get in were allocated the least desirable duties. It was a time when the Army was resisting enlisting black nurses and the relatively small number allowed entry tended to be assigned to the least desirable duties. After completing her training, Ms. Powell together with a few other black nurses were sent to Florence, Ariz to tend to German prisoners of war.

After being captured in Italy, Frederick Karl Albert joined his fellow German prisoners who were detained in camps across the United States. Since most American men were away fighting, P.O.W.s were brought to the U.S. as unskilled laborers. Albert worked in the kitchen at the camp.

“It was in the officers’ mess hall, and my father was working in the kitchen. He kind of boldly made his way straight for my mother and said: ‘You should know my name. I’m the man who’s going to marry you,’” says their youngest son Chris Albert explaining how their interracial love came to be.

Frederick used his cooking job to his advantage and wooed Elinor by preparing for her special meals. That’s how their romance blossomed. But just like most interracial couples during that era, they had to deal with acceptance issues after they married. “My dad was severely beaten by a group of officers [American Soldiers] when they found out about my mom,” says Chris.

After the war came the end of segregation. But this didn’t mean that the Albert’s had it any easier. According to Kristina Brandner, 70, a niece of Frederick Albert life in Germany was difficult. “My grandmother never had contact with black people so it was strange and uncomfortable for her with Elinor. Kids used to ask me how come there was a black woman living with us, and why is your cousin another color. Sometimes, I saw Elinor in the kitchen crying.”

Much as they moved to the U.S. in less than 2 years, things weren’t any better in the U.S. for Frederick, Elinor and their 2 sons Stephen and Chris. When they tried to enroll at a local public school, he was rejected after being told that the school was not open to black children.

Eventually, they settled in in Village Creek, an interracial neighborhood in Norwalk, Conn.. Frederick died in 2001 and Elinor in 2005.

Well, this is one remarkable interracial story; and Chris agrees.

As repulsive as it is, such comments no longer come as a surprise to me because people who are against interracial coupling never want to admit that most interracial couples exist simply because they are in love; such people just don’t see love as a good enough reason for an interracial couple to get married.

In the said article, showing off is listed as one of the reasons people date interracially. [Seriously, do people really think some of us date interracially because we want to have a sense of pride and ownership in being with someone from a particular race?] Well besides self hatred and ostracizing ourselves from the community, the other annoying assumption is that we date interracially because we want to “exploit the other person… use the other person’s genes to create “more appealing,” exotic children with lighter skin, lighter eyes, and finer hair.” [For someone to come up with "exploiting someone's genes" - cuckoo!!! I mean, who thinks like that?]

Anyway, a similar article that covers interracial marriage comes up with categories of the type of people who marry interracially in a bid to answer the big ol’ “WHY” question. And as you expected, nothing about love is mentioned there. Here they are:

The outcasts are those people who do not feel comfortable with their race because they don’t agree with the norms. They are often questioning why they have to do certain things, and are not happy because they don’t fit in with the social groups of their race. The outcast will usually find a culture within another race that appeals to their needs. This provides the outcasts with the opportunity to marry interracially and begin a family within a different racial context.

The rebels are those people who disagree with the basic values, beliefs, and politics of their race. For them marrying outside of their race is not only a form of a long-life commitment to another person, but it is also a long life commitment to a form of protest. They disagree with one or more aspects of their race and they don’t care what anyone around them might think if they marry outside of their race.

The maverick may be seen as the non-conformist. People in this group are usually independent. Although the people within their race usually accept them, they would rather not belong to the “in group.” For the majority of the time these people are sufficiently detached to the different aspects of their race that they are happier not belonging to it, much less belonging to the “in group.” Marrying interracially allows the maverick to feel freed of the pressures to join and conform to the values, beliefs, politics, etc. of a race that they do not accept.

The compensator is the person who is always looking for their “other half.” These are the people who feel incomplete by themselves, who do not want to be alone, and long for a loving relationship. This may not sound exclusively for people who marry interracially, but it is because this type of compensator is under the belief that they can only find what they need with a partner from a different race. The compensator attributes the deficiencies in their life to their race. Many times the compensator belongs to a broken family where neither of the parents is present, physically nor emotionally. The compensator is not negative about their own race they are just under the impression that someone from a different race can provide what they feel they are missing.

The adventurer is the person who is always daring to be different. Adventurers marry interracially because they need the excitement from those who are different to them. They are risking their life with a race that is unknown to them, they don’t want a predictable relationship instead they want a marriage that will stimulate their life and make them feel special. Many adventurers cross all boundaries: race, class, religion, age, etc. Each additional difference makes the marriage and their life more exciting.

The escapist is the person who marries outside of their race in order to improve the quality of their life. The escapist may be marrying a different race to move up the social or economic ladder, they marry for the benefits. The majority of interracial marriages include some type of trade off between the parties involved.

Unstables can be described by deviance. They marry outside of their race to defy authority. The authority they are usually trying to defy is their parents. Once they marry outside of their race the family will consider them to be abnormal and unstable people. Not many people marry under this type of circumstance, but it does happen.

Do you think you fall in any of the above categories? Luckily, the article says that these categories aren’t conclusive so we might as well add: “Those who marry for love” to it.

That’s what this loving husband calls his wife whenever they are having sex. There is nothing wrong with their one year interracial marriage. If anything, it’s been perfect! He loves her to death, is loyal, committed, showers her with gifts, takes her places; all things a woman looks for.

When having sex on their honey moon, that’s the first time the man blurted out the N-word. And when she expressed her anger, the man defended himself saying: the Black women he dated before her, got off on the racial slurs.

Sex isn’t the only time he has been racial with her. Once (apparently on a light note) he told his wife that he had purchased her freedom. He sometimes makes jokes about her pubic hair: calls it “Negro-bush” and calls himself “N*gger lover”. What’s worse is when the wife tells him that she doesn’t appreciate the racial slurs, he tells her that she is overly sensitive because he is so in love with her and thinks he should get a “Black pass” coz they are married.

The slurs have totally turned her off. And no matter how much she expresses her hatred for the slurs, every time they try to have sex, the N-words just start flying off his mouth. This has affected their sex life to the extent of this lady pretending to be asleep whenever the man wants to get it on.

Are racial slurs normal between interracial couples? Why would someone who claims to have so much love for another be so verbally and emotionally abusive? He asks her why Black people get to use the N-word and he cant. Seriously, the wife says she hates it; so why keep using it? So what if his former Black girls liked it? People aren’t the same. Problem is, she has expressed her anger; hubby doesn’t seem to get the extent of emotional damage he is causing. Clearly, he is not willing to change.

Question is: Do you think she should dump her “loving” hubby based on this? Do you think the man can change? How can this relationship be salvaged?