Expectation hangover

Posted by Jordan, 26 Jan 15

"Some of us get wake up calls in a graceful way and some of us need a massive 2x4 to hit us on the head." - Christine Hassler

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Have you known someone who has built a seemingly successful, ideal life and yet is completely miserable? That was the case for our guest on today's episode. Christine Hassler was earning six-figures as Hollywood's youngest female agent who walked away from it all.

Today we talk about why she left, how she got the idea for her book Expectation Hangover and specific strategies we can use to change our beliefs and ultimately, our lives. All of that and much more on this edition of The Art of Charm.

More About This Show:

Christine's drive for success began, she jokes, in the 4th grade when she was bullied and picked on by classmates. She decided then she was going to be somebody one day and would show them!

And she did. She became the youngest female agent in Hollywood, by 25 she was making six figures a year, working in a posh Beverly Hills office, had her own assistant and was dating the head of a movie studio and going to The Oscars, Sundance and other red carpet Hollywood-type events. She was living a glamorous life that should've made her happy.

But despite all of it she felt miserable inside. And the more miserable she felt, the more she pushed herself to achieve. She thought what so many of us thought: "When I get X, then I'll be happy." But every time she got X, she was even more unhappy and nothing seemed to change that.

So she did the only thing she knew how to do: she quit her job and walked away from her successful career. She floundered for the next year, accumulating debt, becoming estranged from her family, being diagnosed with an immune disorder and being left by her fiancee six months before the wedding.

She hit rock bottom. She was on her bathroom floor pondering whether or not her life was worth living, if she should even be on Earth any more. As she searched within herself, something told her her life was valuable and had purpose. She was filled with a sense of peace and happiness.

Those feelings were enough for her to make a deal; she wasn't religious but she told whatever Higher Power might be out there that she would dedicate her life to helping others. Christine didn't know what that would look like exactly, but a few days later after the bathroom incident, she got the idea for her first book and that set her on a new, equally successful path.

On today's show we discuss several topics including what an expectation hangover is, what coping methods we can use that actually work when we're curing our hangover, and how to use release writing to let go of any emotions that don't serve us.

According to Christine an expectation hangover is when we have an idea of how we want life to be and we set our plans, our goals to achieve that idea, but life gives us something else. Then we turn to coping mechanisms to help us cure that expectation hangover, and very often these coping methods aren't healthy.

Christine shares some healthier ways to deal like asking: "What am I learning from this?" instead of what we usually say which is "Why me?". We can also remember control is just an illusion, and none of us have it! We have free will, influence and choice but we all receive curveballs from life that are out of our control.

We can also create better relationships with ourselves and be clear on our expectations of others. Instead of thinking people in our lives can read our minds we can actually create agreements in which all parties are clear.

She also goes into detail on how we can recognize our patterns, giving us practical steps to take and she shares the actionable tool of release writing, which allows us to go deep into an emotion and release it in a healthy, positive way so we can create something new where that emotion or belief had been in our minds.

There's even more where that wisdom came from so tune in to hear all of it straight from Christine!

Join me in thanking Christine for being here and as always, thank you for joining us.

If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, drop some comments. We read everything. We'll see you next time.

Jordan Harbinger is a Wall Street lawyer turned Social Dynamics expert and coach. He is the co-founder of The Art of Charm, a dating and relationships coaching company. If you're interested in The Art of Charm residential programs, apply for a strategy call with a coach. You can also interact with Jordan on Facebook or Twitter.

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