Ever seen such a profile on any dating site?

Posted by James, 31 May 11

Shocking online dating profileThe other day I came across this article on Brutalashell.com that really cracked me up. This is was one online dating profile that was brutally honest, something most online daters aren’t … a profile you probably might NEVER see on any online dating site. Much as this article was some just-for-laughs kind of thing, it got me wondering whether online daters would appreciate such brutal honesty say: “Has trouble administering oral” on people’s profiles.

Here's how the profile read…

"I’m single. That’s right, 41 and single. Never married, no desire to be, heading for spinsterhood at warp speed. I’m fine with it, really. I never wanted a wedding or kids and gold jewelry gives me a rash. Also, diamonds are fugly. I’m good at being single. I never have to wear make-up or fix my hair, I don’t own a single pair of high heels, I hog the bed, I make Pop-Tarts for dinner and my idea of getting gussied up is to wear matching pajama tops and bottoms. 99.9 percent of the time, I am perfectly content with this arrangement.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

But every once in a great while, I wish there was a guy around. Someone to open jars and squash spiders and who won’t get all pissy when I close my eyes during sex and pretend they’re someone else…usually some totally unattainable famous person who would never ever look at me in real life.

And here’s where it gets weird. You see, I’m not much for pretty boys. Oh sure, I’ll admit to owning Peter Steele’s Playgirl spread. I’d like to climb into Gylve Nagell’s hair and stay there for a week. That torture scene in Casino Royale where Mads Mikkelsen is whipping Daniel Craig’s balls? Total porn for me. But for the most part, I’m an ugly chaser. The uglier, the better. I like my guys deformed, armed and really angry. Extra points if they’re undead. I want my man to slaughter the cheerleading squad for me on our anniversary. I want the competition to flee in horror at the sight of his face, therefore leaving me with no competition." - Online Dating Profiles You Will Never See

Would you send this person a flirt? The bit about closing eyes during sex … brutally awesome ;-) !

2 responses to "Ever seen such a profile on any dating site?"

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  1.   AngelusFury says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 11

    i would just because im notoriously nosey an would want to find out if she is for real. Then again there are some interesting females on this site too. These views do not entirely represent the male species..although they should.

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  2.   shyjayb says:
    Posted: 05 Jun 11

    There's definitely no bones in THIS woman's closet. But overall she's truly an outrageously DELIRIOUS A-list pro-filer. Uniquely funny and very cute..

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