Dating Disasters That Start in Your Head

Posted by James, 12 Mar 14

Long before choosing a dress or deciding on a restaurant, a date begins as an occasion. Every date that we have ever had will color our newest outing. You are not simply dating a person. You are dating everyone that person has ever dated. So when you walk into a date, especially a first date, clear your mind. Having preconceived notions can be the bad breath to your first kiss.

Thinking That You Are Paying For It

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There is no conversion table between money spent and sexual remuneration. A cup of coffee does not earn a kiss and a lobster dinner will not get you an upgrade. A night out is exactly what the name implies. It is a time for you to get out of the house and enjoy the company of another person. That person may or may not be fun. The only person in this equation that you can control is you so enjoy yourself. If it leads to something more, you're one of the lucky ones.

Keep It In The Present

The Huffington Post did some crowdsourcing on worst dates, asking for romance killing conversation. One of the common ones follows the "if you ever hurt me, I will cut you" model. This is a date, not a proposal. If your hands touch while grabbing popcorn at the movies, it may only be hunger and the need for the same salty kernel. Sometimes Fate takes a day off. If you are planning the second date, children’s names or spousal benefits while still learning a last name, then you are obviously not enjoying the present.

Not Everyone Has The Same Passion

More than 100 million single people live in the United States, according to the Census Bureau. Each of these people have their own passion. Some people are obsessed with cat videos. Some will talk for hours about their hot tub (thinking of course, they can get you in it). Know this and embrace it. Tuck it in the back of your mind and maybe show up for the second date with mood crystals or other hot tub accessories. Bottom line, figure out what is really a deal breaker long before that first date. Of course, if your date starts the night out telling you how he was a physician but is now pursuing a career as a rapper, you may need to revise that good and bad list.

Impress But Not Too Much

Comedian and writer Tina Fey tells a story about her worst date. Apparently, she went rock climbing and her date, while trying to impress her, fell and needed to be rushed to the hospital. Dressing nice is impressive. Cleaning the car is impressive. Stitches and an ambulance ride are not. Let your witty repartee be the thing that wins over your date. Studies show that laughter, attentiveness and pleasantness are what makes a date romantic and successful. Expensive dinners and a broken femur do not make for a good night out.

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